Hair Expectations/Realizations

[FroFab]

In light of the discussions about "BC Shock" I thought it might be useful to post a thread about what you once expected your hair to do vs. realizing what it actually does/doesn't do as a natural/texlaxed/relaxed head.

1. During my relaxed days my hair had gotten to a really light brown-coppery color that I loved...in reality my natural hair is like a 1b with a few brownish areas thrown in.

2. Still observing and recovering from hairline and bang area breakage from bunning so much, but as a transitioner I had a nice set of waves...in reality I can't really say because my front area is still slowly changing...OVER TWO YEARS LATER.

3. Even though my natural hair CAN look the same as someone else's in a particular style...in reality all of their products/techniques/regimen will never make me an identical hair twin.

4. As a transitioner thinking that once these relaxed ends come off my hair I'll be able to accurately describe my whole head based on a pre-set hair system...in reality I have fine to coarse hair strands, everything from bic pen sized to coffee stirrer sized coils, frizzy and silky parts, and I'm still confused about the whole concept of "wetting easily."

I'm sure I have more, but please chime in!

 

[zenith]

1) I thought my hair was one type.

In reality my crown and front is a thick 4a and my sides and back are 4b(dry and a bit on the thin side).

2) I cannot live without combing my hair. Finger combing just won't cut it.

 

[ms.blue]

the first time when natural, I thought right side will grow into these nice waves b/c how the looked againt my relaxed hair but I thought my left side would grow in straight b/c I would hardly see any waves or curls. I was shocked when I cut of the relaxed part the looked the same. I was also upset that the further the hair was from the nape, the coarser it was. My hair on the lower back is silky and curly which I loved and the rest of the hair is mixed of thick & fine strands and coarse in texture that when dried there is hardly a curl pattern. Now I went natural again I knew how my was so no real surprises this time.

 

[Lola Laughs]

Years ago when I went natural, my youthful ignorance honestly expected (hoped) I would have my mom's texture (looser) instead of my dad's (kinkier). Certainly didn't expect to get both of their textures on my 1 head. It presents challenges, but I heart it!

 

[likewtr4chklit]

I was expecting one uniform texture. I want' expecting so much frizz. OMG single strand knots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[lovegymnasts]

This happened before I ever knew there was such a thing as a hair board so I had no idea about the variety in hair textures...maybe that was a blessing.
I went natural simply because I don't like the relaxer process and I questioned to myself why I was doing it...so I stopped doing it.
When I decided to not relax again, I just assumed I would have what I now know is 4b hair. I don't know why. I just assumed for some reason that is what everyone's hair was like although in thinking back on things I should have known that was not true. I envisioned myself eventually having long plaits. Actually, that is still the picture in my mind when I think of being wl. When I stopped wearing braids and cut off the relaxed ends, I was a little surprised to have 4a hair but I was neither disappointed or glad. I think I would have loved my hair no matter what it was because it is my hair...it's me. This is the reason I do not post in threads about bc shock because I can not relate. I can understand being shocked about the length but not about the texture.

 

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

I'm probably a deviation from other prospective naturals. My natural hairas a child that I vaguely recall was pretty coarse & thick. In old pics it knda resembled Rudy Huxtable hair. So when I decided to transition abt 2 yrs ago I was expecting that hair type. Imagine my surprise when I did the BC & the months that followed. I have lots of strands but my are FINE! That was my realization: I have very fine hair yet I was expecting thick hair. Ugh I seriously envy those with thicker strands. And I sometimes wish I did have that Rudy hair or jennboo's or mwedzi. They rock some fierce twists/twistouts!

 

[shopgalore]

I thought having natural hair would be a walk in the park, it would be fun, lots of washing, oiling, playing with my hair and it would grow fast!! No way, its lots of reading, "listening" (whatever that is) to the hair.

What drives me mad, is that I have no idea what my natural hair is supposed to feel like, so its a bit like being in a dark room knowing the on switch is there, its just finding it!!

 

[SignatureBeauty]

When I first went natural in 2003 I knew my texture was like a mixture of 3c/4a/4b, so when I bc I was actually excited to see all those curls, I was in love, but then wearing the Twa for so long made me mad, I wanted change so I relaxed, not because of texture or length or shrinkage, but because I wanted a different style.

But then when I relaxed I figured all kinds of things I could have done to my hair!

 

[Vashti]

I've worn my hair in its natural state for years now so my natural texture doesn't surprise me and never really did. When my hair is super short I tend to develop curls that turn into tight coils as it grows out. I've always known I had pretty coarse hair but when wet or moisturized it waves up nicely. I suppose my expectations now would be seeing it grow out thicker. I would really like to have thick hair. It's both course (4a) and fine at the same time. Kind of weird but it is what it is.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

My Expectation: That I would recover from this Set-Back a whole lot Quicker.

My Realization: It's been dreadfully slow. Recovery has been very, very, slow.

 

[Mdmommy99]

I have been natural for almost 10 years and back then I didn't know anything about a typing system etc and didn't know many naturals IRl. I expected that all natural hair did the same thing so it was really frustrating to me to find that my hair didn't hold a twist well or didn't look anything like Lauryn Hill's who was my hair idol since I didn't see a lot of other naturals on tv or anywhere else. It took me a long long time and lots of hair abuse to realize that my hair is fine and not dense so some of the "standard" natural styles like braids and twists don't work on my hair.

 

[HauteHippie]

I didn't know about single strand knots. Now I get rid of them before they turn into a real knot, instead of pulling them into tight knots I'd have to cut off.

I thought I only had 4b hair. Instead I have 4b hair in the front and on the sides that barely has any kink/curl/or coil to it (zigzag-- yes, zigzag hair pattern), 4b hair in the back (tight coily curls that frizz and have a sheen), and 3c? hair in the middle (defined small curls that don't frizz when dry and have more of a shine than a sheen). I doubt I'll ever wash and go ANYWHERE outside of my house. The 4a/3c hair refuses to stay straight when I flat iron it (rarely), refuses to stay twisted out, and just caught me off guard.

My hair is a little darker now that it's natural, too.

My hair likes water. Water is a moisturizer! I had to uncondition myself for that one.

My fro moves in the wind. I thought it'd stay in one place. Idk why I thought that exactly.

 

[zazzi]

1. I expected more coils than curls. I relaxed when I was 13, and I don't remember having curls before that. So, I was surprised at the juicy curls I get from co-washing, some leave-in, and a little ecostyler gel. However, my hair is a mix of curls and coils, so it takes some work to blend it together.

2. I expected to go through bouts of missing my APL (or so) relaxed hair and regretting the BC... and I didn't!

 

[LadyRaider]

I'm expecting that my hair will have my mother's loose curl pattern, but only be a fuzzy, poofy version. My mother's hair was silky. I'm still in the expectation stage.

 

[Nayna]

I didn't expect anything. I just knew it was about that time to get the relaxed hair out. I chopped it and went about my business. I think I chopped with the intentions of putting a weave back in. I was at the point where I was weaving back to back and what was the point in holding on to the ends when I was aiming for natural anyway?

In the back of my mind I knew that my hair had some type of curl. I mean even while transitioning your hair still gives you an idea. Even while relaxing you still have an idea. So I had an idea, I just didn't care, lol.

 

[Geminigirl]

I didn't expect my hair to do anything it isn't already doing. What I am shocked at is the fact that I have coils. My hair was either cornrowed or in manipulated afro puffs I had no idea I have a texture.

 

[Eritreladiee]

I expected for my hair to be curly and for my curls to be much tighter than they are now. I don't know if it's because my hair is moisturized, x, y or z, but I don't remember my hair ever being like this in the past.
Besides that, I didn't have other expectations. I BC'd I think maybe 5 times and each time was on impulse so I never really thought too much about it or anticipated anything besides tight curls.

I've learned and realized ALOT of things about my hair, especially in the past few months since really paying attention to it. There's just too much to list.

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

- I didn't expect for my shrinkage to be a beast. My SO estimated it at 70-80%
- I expected my natural hair to be extremely hard to manage, comb, etc... but in reality as long as it's moisturized and I treat it with kindness and patience it's not bad at all (but then again it's only about 2.5-3 inches long)
- I expected more definition in my coils. I'm still learning my hair and the products that it likes.
- I expected for my hair to be thinner/fine like it was with my relaxer.
- I expected knots further along my journey.... not right NOW.

My realization are

- a short twa isn't bad or as traumatic as it was for me when I had major damage/setback as a girl.
- moisture is the key
- my fro is actually much thicker than I thought it would be

 

[KhandiB]

My main realization is that I thought my hair was a lot coarser than it actually is.

When I first started on LHCF I thought I was a 4B .. but I have been able to appreciate my hair more now that I know it better.

 

[softblackcotton]

My expections: There was nothing I could do short of straightening to make my 4b hair feel continuously soft and manageable. By nature it was normal to feel rough, hard, and tangly. Even after thoroughly saturating my hair with oil and butter based natural moisturizers my hair would feel hard, rough, and tangly after a few hours.

My realizations: The best moisturizers for my hair are water-based moisturizers with a mixture of natural saturating oils like jojoba, aloe vera gel, and glycerin. The texture of my hair when its truly moisturized was alien to me until last month. My moisturized 4b hair feels like the softest, fluffliest cotton (hence my name). It feels like what a really young infant's afro textured hair feels like. Plus there is virtually no breakage at all anymore during combing and detangling! The key to hair growth and manageability is moisture!

 

[LoveLiLi]

(1) I thought that once I had natural hair I was going to wash and go everyday.

(2) I also thought wash and go meant just that. Imagine my surprise when I couldn't wash my hair, wait ten minutes for drying time and go about my day with perfect coils and curls.

(3) I thought my texture would be uniform. I have coils, curls and some sections that just wave/frizz. That killed my WnG dreams. erplexed

(4) I thought heat was the debil and avoided it for well over a year. When I finally straightened I was so sick. There were split ends galore!

(5) I gave up grease when I was a teen. I just hated it. For some reason I thought that I needed to go back to grease as a natural. I soon found out that grease was making my natural hair crunchy and irritating my scalp. My hair feels much softer and is more manageable without grease. Natural oils/butters are best.