Hair crisis. Please help

angelica2u

angelica2u

Active Member
I went to the salon about a month ago to get a relaxer. I called her to make an appointment for when will be the best time for her. So i get there about 5 mins early and there are 2 other girls there to do weaves. And she was just STARTING with the first one, eventhough i had an appointment with her and we all know it wouldne take 5 mins to do a weave. Anyways, i sit there for a while and then i guess she realizes that what she was doing was wrong so her solution was to multitask and do several hairs at a time. She comes to me, quickly puts some relaxer in my hair, doesnt even work it in or smoothen it and tells me to sit an let it "cook" for a while. Then she goes on to continue doing the weave. I sit there till my hairline starts burning and tell her its burning and thats when she comes and discovers that she didnt even put enough relaxer in the hair and there were areas with no relaxer. She then makes a pathetic excuse that my hair soaks up relaxer like a sponge and at that point on applies more relaxer and attempts to work it in and smooth it. She tells me to sit for an additional 10 mins. I tried to hold on for as long as i could so that at least the actual new growth would get relaxed and when it was getting bad, i told her to wash it out.

She proceeds to hastily wash, detangle and roller set it and in the process, i loose at least 1/3rd of my hair. She came up with every excuse she could think of to make it my fault but i know it was her cos i havent had an experience this bad before and i didnt do anything different this time. The damage was soo bad that my entire front hairline has fallen out. Its extends about 1-2 inches inward and my hair overall is soo thin since i lost most it. It was soo bad that my hair was just falling out allover without me even having to put a comb in it. And on top of it all, the main hair DIDNT get relaxed and so its also breaking cos its like i'm due for a relaxer.

Now i cant put my hair back cos of the horrible hairline and i cant wear it down cos its too thin. Therefore, my permanent hairstyle is taking two strips of hair from the centre and carefully puting them over the lost hairline areas on each side and holding them behind my ear. Then i clip the rest of the hair behind.

This is the worst hair experience i've ever had and frankly now i dont know what to do. I want to self relax so i dont have to go to stylists to ruin my hair but i dont know how to. Any suggestions? Also, does anyone in the Toronto (canada) area know any decent stylists who actually know how do real hair and not just good weaves? Cos i've noticed that the stylists i've been to so far dont seem to value / know how to care for real hair - its almost like their attitude is 'why bother with real hair when u can do a weave'. Especially since they all have weaves / very short hair permanently.

Sorry this is soo long but i'm in a pretty bad place right now. Any advices / assistance / suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

P.S. I treated the hair and it stabilized a bit but i still have the hairline issue, thin hair with new growth and the need for a stylist / help on how to self relax. Thanks.
 
Girl, I was reading this w/ anger and terror. I'm so sorry this has happened to you! This happened to me when I was a little girl, all of my hair line was gone and my sides too! If I were you I would wash my hair asap w/ a neutralizing poo and then so some sort of protein treatment within the next few days. As for the hairline, your idea of covering it seems like it may work. Just try not to manipulate you hair too much. Don't worry about it though, your hair will eentually grow back. Stuff like this is why I became a DIY gal in the first place.


ETA: I would wait at elast 4 wks for a corrective...maybe even longer.
 
report her to licensing board.

good luck with nursing your hair back to health. maybe just keep deep conditioning it and do oil rinses. low manipulation.
 
 
Just coming in to express how sorry I am this happened to you... I agree with the license board complaint... God bless you and know it will come back... Take care and we all wish you the best!!!!
 
My God, she should be shot!! Hmm, have you thought about wearing a wig for a few months to let your hair rest? That way, you won't have to relax now and maybe by then the hairline would have some growth?
 
I am sooo sorry!

I just self-relaxed for the first time yesterday and it came out great. I found LondonDiva's tutorial and Sistaslick's articles very helpful. Aslo, if you go in the advanced search search titles: self-relax tips there is a thread with more. Good luck and again sorry!
 
If your hair is really damaged and breaking it is probably best to wait before getting another touchup. You may need to trim some of the broken areas as well. I wouldn't put any chemicals on your hairline for awhile to give them time to heal and bounce back. Maybe you could wear a cute wig while you baby your hair back to health. You may need to do your own hair for awhile until you find a stylist that you can rely on.
 
Angelica, what a HORROR story! I'm so sorry! I agree with the wig, and maybe there's a way you can use a silk/satin covering to protect your hair/scalp underneath it.

I agree with qtslim about DIY, though. I've had enough experiences and read enough horror stories to not even give anyone a chance anymore. Too much at stake. I know you'll overcome it, as we overcome all things with time. Blessings, Hon.

ETA: As soon as you're up to it, I recommend that you definitely look into some growth aids and supplements, because they DO work!
 
Twisties said:
report her to licensing board.

good luck with nursing your hair back to health. maybe just keep deep conditioning it and do oil rinses. low manipulation.
Click to expand...

2nd. That is awful! Did you pay her? :sad:

I think you should gather before pics and take after pics if you need evidence. I am so angry for you - you just don't play with chemicals because you booked 3 people for the same appointment time!!!!!!!!!!!! :wallbash:

In the meantime, I wouldn't advise you to re-relax for a while. Really baby your hair, keep it moist and soft. You may need some protein treatments as well to infuse strength back into the strand. Take this time to do some research on stylists who will care for the hair instead of how many clients (money) they can cram into one time slot.
 
Ditto on the don't relax anytime soon. Your hair is severely damaged and you need to get it back to full strength before relaxing again. My best suggestion is to baby your hair with protein and moisture and perhaps consider wearing full wigs until your hair is at full strength. Do not consider braids because they will stress your already stressed edges.

As for the alleged "professional," she needs her ass kicked!
 
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I can't believe....well actually I can b/c it happened to me too. Luckily, even though she left the relaxer on for about 30 minutes I only had scalp damage and no significant hair loss. Like most ladies have said, your best bet is to wash the hair again with a neutralizing poo just to make sure ALL traces of it are out of your hair, if your scalp isn't too scabbed up you should definately do a serious protein treatment like aphogee. And wearing wigs is probably your best bet as you try and recover. Good luck on your recovery and keep us posted.
 
Awwwww. I am so sorry this happened to you. I have had similar experiences with my hairline (still recovering). Make sure you start some intensive DC treatments to restore the damage and baby your edges. BT made my hair line fill in. You may want to try castor oil and dring carrot juice. I heard that can be good for the hairline. It will grow back with a little TLC. That just burns me up!
 
Two words: SUE HER!
F that, three words: Whoop her ***!
:burnup:
I am so sorry that happened to you. When getting a chemical service (or any services for that matter) customers must speak up! We are the one's paying for a service. We gotta stop letting people do what they want to us. Don't sit in agony in the name of vanity. Incidents like this just burn me up!!!

Like another member mentioned, take pictures of your hair and scalp now. I think it'd be best if you lay off relaxing for a while (like 6 months to a year) or contemplate going natural so you can get your scalp healthy enough before even thinking about relaxing (or texlaxing) again. Wigs would be your best option for recovery and scalp massages with EOs.

Good luck to you OP! And keep us posted on how your hair comes along in the next few months.
:bighug:
 
Geez! I am soo sorry to hear that, girl! She was so wrong to do that to you; we do have to learn to speak up when it's burning, trust me, I know! :wallbash:

I agree with the following:

1) report her to the commission
2) don't relax for awhile
3) do a neutralizing poo to make sure it is all out
4) stay on the board 'cuz there is good advice here!

Hair hugs to you! :grouphug:
 
That it was horrible what she did and she has to know she is wrong. Personally I would take pictures of my hair and the damage and go show her your hair and pictures. I would then demand that she do my hair for free until my hair grew back due to her negligence. Even though u have stopped the breakage, your hair is going to need a lot ot treatments and TLC to return to healthy and thriving hair and I think she should be responsible for that since she is the one who ruined it and on top of ruining it tried to blame it on you! I am heated!!!! I think she should have to treat your hair once a week until it returns to healthy condition. Im not saying apply any chemicals...I would never trust her again...but I think she should have to treat and cornrow your hair up every week so u can wear wigs or something till it grows back. Im sure u are traumatized for life from this...I would be too. That effin %&$&^@.....
 
ITA with everything said here... Ladies WE HAVE TO SPEAK UP! This is why black hair salons are the way they are... These "stylists" refuse to take responsibility for their own actions and we let them think it's ok.

Not only do you need to report her, but YOU NEED TO SUE HER. Sue the hell out of her because she has caused injury to you and further more has caused pain and anguish. Get pics together, and find a lawyer. I'm not usually one to jump on the suing bandwagon, but I'd be damned if I just let anyone get away with a tap on the wrist for causing me physical and emotion harm and anguish... Grrrr, sorry this story just made me really mad. And then stylists wonder why we avoid them like the plague...
 
Thank you all for your support and responses so far. I did an aphogee treatment and also did an intense Hair mayonaise treatment. And i'm being very careful with what i do to my hair. I dont even want to touch it.

As for that stylist, i did consider reporting / suing her cos i REALLY want her to pay for what she did but i was informed that it will take a lot of my time and i may not even get that much out of it (comparatively) in the end. You DONT play around with peoples hair especially when there are dangerous chemicals like relaxers involved. One needs to be careful just like how those in the health care field have to be careful with patients cos one mstake / oversight or neglectful act can be very costly. I honestly dont even know how they become "certified" to do hair or even if they are certified. Cos in my experience, they dont seem to know what they're doing.

For instance, these have been my last 3 stylists:

1st stylist will "relax" and "treat" your hair and u walk out the the salon with the same new growth and dirt / oil that was on ur scalp before u walked in there. The only difference is that ur hair gets thinner and sometimes its soo bad that she the stylist will give u a complementary track or two (which she glues in) because ur hair is soo thin that u can walk out the salon like that. This is prolly due to the fact that the relaxer, shampoo, conditioner and treatment were only applied to the relaxed part of the hair and not the new growth and scalp. Can u believe it? And oh yeah, she does not stick to appointments. One thing she appears to be good at: weaves

2nd stylist will take a BRUSH and brush your just relaxed, washed and VERY tangled hair from root to tip aggressively. There is no detangling with the hand or a wide toothed comb; heck any comb at all. After she's done washing the hair, she'll just grab the brush and will insist that its the best way to go. I dont think she owns a comb cos i've never seen her use one for anything. Once u go there, its only a brush she'll use on ur hair all the time cos she believes the best thing u can do to ur hair is brush it all the time. She doesnt keep to appts either and is a big know it all. One thing she appears to be good at: Hair cuts (however, dont ask for a trim / cut unless u're ready to loose a lot of length)

3rd and most recent stylist... well, she is the reason why i started this thread. Oh and did i mention she's VERY scissor happy eventhough a 5yr old with a pair of scissors could do a better trim job. One thing she appears to be good at: weaves

I've been a member of this forum since 2003 and have learnt soo much and applied it to my hair. So far, the only time i go to a stylist is for a relaxer. Thats it. Everything else i've learnt to do myself and my hair does well until its time for a relaxer and then it suffers. Thats why i'm trying to see if i can self relax or finally get a stylist who knows how to relax new growth properly (though now it seems like i may have better luck training a monkey to do it). My mom used to do it for me but she's not here now so she cant.

Thanks for the self relaxing threads links, i'm checking them out now so i can see if i can do it myself. I also considered wearing a wig but then all my co workers have seen me with just my real hair so i feel like they'll know its a wig and i'll be self concious especially since i didnt find a real looking wig when i went out to look for one. Does anyone know where to find realistic looking wigs that wont cost me too much?
 
:nono: This is bad on a few different levels. Maybe you should bc and start off as a natchal?? If not, you need to leave your hair alone for the next few months..i'm thinking about 6 months minimum. By leave alone i mean no flatironing, heavy manipulation, tight braids, etc. If you can wig if for a few months that would be great.
 
Fortunately, i dont flat iron my hair. Infact i dont even own a flat iron. After i wash my hair, i detangle and dry / straighten with a comb and blow dryer at low heat. I do that because the hair dries with straighter separated strands so i dont get tangles or friz. And thats about the only manipulation (apart from the daily combing and moisturizing) my hair gets till the next wash.

I aslo tried going natural but unfortunately relaxed because i have pretty tight curls and so after a wash especially, it was difficult to comb out properly and style nicely by myself. I wish i had been more firm and stuck with it but i gave in and now i dont wanna start over again till i'm sure i will be able to stick with it thru thick and thin. However, i do agree being natural is the best way to go. Sure would have saved me a lot of hair and money.
 
She proceeds to hastily wash, detangle and roller set it and in the process, i loose at least 1/3rd of my hair. She came up with every excuse she could think of to make it my fault but i know it was her cos i havent had an experience this bad before and i didnt do anything different this time. The damage was soo bad that my entire front hairline has fallen out. Its extends about 1-2 inches inward and my hair overall is soo thin since i lost most it. It was soo bad that my hair was just falling out allover without me even having to put a comb in it. And on top of it all, the main hair DIDNT get relaxed and so its also breaking cos its like i'm due for a relaxer.
Click to expand...

I can understand the reluctance to sue due to the time and energy involved for little outcome. However, please at least report her to the board. I'm not sure what the process is, but you deserved and had a right to be treated better. And this would be a step to help ensure that it does not happen to someone else. Please seize the opportunity to lift your voice and do/say something.

I'm very sorry that this happened to you. I haven't gone to a stylist in over 6 years. If I could find a great one in this area, I would probably take the chance. Until then, I will do what I need to do for the well being of myself and my hair. It sounds like you've gotten some great advice from ladies on this board who know a lot more than me about haircare. I just wish you the best of luck in rebuilding your hair.
 
nichelle02 said:
I can understand the reluctance to sue due to the time and energy involved for little outcome. However, please at least report her to the board. I'm not sure what the process is, but you deserved and had a right to be treated better. And this would be a step to help ensure that it does not happen to someone else. Please seize the opportunity to lift your voice and do/say something.

I'm very sorry that this happened to you. I haven't gone to a stylist in over 6 years. If I could find a great one in this area, I would probably take the chance. Until then, I will do what I need to do for the well being of myself and my hair. It sounds like you've gotten some great advice from ladies on this board who know a lot more than me about haircare. I just wish you the best of luck in rebuilding your hair.
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You guys are right. I wonder if canada has a board like that. I'll check and see if i can report her. If anything is done about it, i'll keep u guys posted. Hmm, i gonna try my best to bring it back to life again and hope & make sure it doesnt happen again. Its a shame how u work hard to keep ur hair in good shape and in one go its all / mostly distroyed by someone who is supposed to know better. Oh well
 
foxieroxienyc said:
ITA with everything said here... Ladies WE HAVE TO SPEAK UP! This is why black hair salons are the way they are... These "stylists" refuse to take responsibility for their own actions and we let them think it's ok.

Not only do you need to report her, but YOU NEED TO SUE HER. Sue the hell out of her because she has caused injury to you and further more has caused pain and anguish. Get pics together, and find a lawyer. I'm not usually one to jump on the suing bandwagon, but I'd be damned if I just let anyone get away with a tap on the wrist for causing me physical and emotion harm and anguish... Grrrr, sorry this story just made me really mad. And then stylists wonder why we avoid them like the plague...
Click to expand...



ITA! SHE SHOULD BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR HER ACTIONS.
 
Another reason for me not to go the salon. Years ago I went to the salon for a relaxer and the so-called stylist told me to "let it sit so it can take." My baby hairs were burned off and the back of my neck and behind my ears were red. That's an awful experience you went through, but you'll find tons of good information here-applying your own relaxers or going natural- to get your hair back in shape. I hope everything works out.
 
I am crying as I read your post because it remains me of a similar hair catastrophe that I had about 5 years ago which cause by hair to break off, thin out very severely. I decided to leave the chemicals alone and grow some new hair. I wore a phony phony for 18 months and I didn't put any more chemicals in my hair until 22 months. By that time, I had 8-12 inches of new hair growth.

I suggest that you give the chemicals a break, wear a wig for a while and deep conditioned your hair on a weekly basis. You should see a difference in about 6 months. You hair will grow back in time. Sending out hugs to you.
 
I'm really sorry you went through all that with the stylist. I agree with those who suggested you wear wigs for a while and nuture your own hair without having to style it. Good luck.
 
If it's not too inappropriate to manipulate your hair, perhaps you can wear braids for a while and use the crown and glory method to allow your hair to rest while you baby it? Maybe someone else could give you some feedback on whether or not this is a good solution, but it's the first one I thought of when I read your predicament.

I am so sorry that this happened to you. :(
 
Yeah, i'm gonna try and get a decent wig so i can wear it for a while to let my hair rest and have time to recover without too much manipulation. Hopefully i can find one and at a decent price. Also, wearing a wig for an extended period wont have any adverse effects on my hair right? Thanks again to you all for your support :-).
 
I think that it would be good to make sure you take care of your hair underneath the wig. Don't forget to dc as often as possible and fight the breakage. This could be a great chance to try out some fun wig styles! You could be Beyonce one day and Rhianna the next! Keep us posted.
 
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