Dionne-
Hang in there, girl! You can do this! Setbacks can be disheartening - I've had a few myself. But each setback provided me with an opportunity to learn what works for my hair and what doesn't. Don't let your current state of affairs stop you from achieving your hair goals.
Something you wrote did cause me some concern: You said you have been trying to eat better and at least once a day but that it's a work in progress. I don't want to be all up in your business about eating patterns, I resepct your right to privacy. I do want to share, however, that medical articles have repeatedly published that <font color="red"> the failure to adequately nourish the body -i.e., not eating daily- can lead to brittle, breaking, and or shedding hair.</font color> /images/graemlins/shocked.gif This may be a culprit for why your hair has see-through ends and is breaking off by the handful a day. (Your hair is always growing, no matter what - to get long hair our ability to retain what's there can impact our progress more than the growth rate /images/graemlins/wink.gif). Try e <font color="red"> </font color> ating brightly colored fruits and veggies, which are packed with good nutrients for the body and hair (I believe there's a thread, "Good Food for Hair Growth" or something like that). Many of us also take supplements - but supplements are what they say: they're supplements (or in-addition-to) actual meals. Otherwise, your body will readily absorb the supplements, leaving your hair without the desired affect. I would strongly encourage you to keep eating everyday - not just for your hair, but for your overall health. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
In the meantime, try to keep heat away from your hair. Scorching your delicate strands with a curling iron will only increase the breakage right now. Once you nurse your hair back to health, direct heat won't be as harmful but right now try to wear heat-free styles.
The good news is that you don't necessarily have to cut off your hair. You can nurse your hair, trimming the severely damaged parts gradually as you start to retain more length. Mahalia Lee has some copy-righted recipes that I and other members have used successfully for extremely damaged hair.
Finally, you said that your hair is coarser and thicker in the kitchen, making it hard to comb and your scalp very sore. Have you tried either wetting your hair or moisturizing it before combing? Your scalp may be sore from all the tugging and moisturizing your hair should make it easier for your comb to glide through.
Good luck, Dionne! YOU CAN DO THIS! I'm glad you posted here because the members here can provide you with the support and information to help you reach your hair goals. I hope you keep posting.
Nyambura