QT
Well-Known Member
I think your hair is a nice length (in my world) I don't think they will view you different if you decide to keep your hair at it's current length. They just prefer longer hair.
Growing hair for a man
- Thread starter CurleeDST
- Start date
I think your hair is a nice length (in my world) I don't think they will view you different if you decide to keep your hair at it's current length. They just prefer longer hair.
Iluvsmuhgrass
Well-Known Member
Nope. He does want me to grow it as long as possible though.
CurleeDST
Well-Known Member
My girl's dilemma is this - her husband met her with close to waist-length hair and she cut it all off last year when she was pregnant down to about 2 inches. Currently she is growing it back out b/c he hates it that short.
What if you are facing a situation like that - he met you with long hair and likes it and now complains if it is shorter?
What if you are facing a situation like that - he met you with long hair and likes it and now complains if it is shorter?
justsimply
New Member
I would unless I really hated long hair. I mean, I don't think there is anything wrong with doing something just to please your man. I expect the same treatment.
PureSilver
Well-Known Member
Nice thread just but my SO isn't fussy as long as my hair is nicely and neatly kept. BTW i think it would be nice to have him run his fingers through it, i know he would appreciate the stares he gets from men and women alike when they start staring at it long and blowing in the wind
So yes i'm definately growing my hair for him but mostly for myself because i HATE short hair.
So yes i'm definately growing my hair for him but mostly for myself because i HATE short hair.
Nope, I am growing my hair out for me. DH never had a problem with it short, but always had a problem with a relaxer. He saw how it was doing my hair(I wasn't giving it much care). He is excited that I am growing my hair out, and he says he wants to see what it will look like. But, he is more interested in me growing out the relaxer, than the length. I even told him, "Yeah, I am growing my hair out and no more short hair again." Then he says,"There is nothing wrong with short hair either. Hey, it's just hair." That surprised me. But, no, I realllly am doing this for me!
discobiscuits
New Member
yeah, i do it if i'm asked to. i don't care, it is just hair. if it is long i can cut it if it is short it will grow back. ultimately what i do w/ my hair is my decision but i believe that ppl in relationships should do things their so likes to keep a happy relationship. if it is not something that hurts or is negative or evil i'll do it. if he wants long hair, i'll give him long hair. the man i'm seeing/talking to now likes long hair and asked me not to bc so i won't. i don't care. LOL
Sirens_Song
Member
Nope. I'm not growing out my hair for a man. My bf doesn't care if a womans hair is long or short- just healthy and styled nicely. The funny thing is... he is amused over my membership on a hair board. 
In some ways I wish he did care for longer hair as that is what I want!!! I could chop my hair off and he would care less.
erplexed
In some ways I wish he did care for longer hair as that is what I want!!! I could chop my hair off and he would care less.
erplexedHighly Favored8
Well-Known Member
Yes, Yes I am!
discobiscuits
New Member
WOW! okay i can c y he is not pleased. that was probably one of the things that attracted him to her. he probably still feels the same way for her but to him he prob feels something is missing or like she took away something he really enjoyed. men love playing in my hair it is bigger to some men than length, they want to shampoo it, play in it, smell it, see it all messed up on our heads, it is a total picture so yeah, i c y he is hurt by her cutting it that drastically and in the end she does not even like it that short. i guess it was easier for her to manage during the pregnancy.
MD_Lady
Well-Known Member
Not to be ugly, but I think he needs to settle down. Your friend, more than likely, cut her hair because she liked it better short. People are entitled to their preferences, but when you're talking about another person, you may get a vote, but not veto power.
CurleeDST
Well-Known Member
I hear what you are saying but men are motivated by different things. Many women are fixated on a man's wallet. Doesn't necessarily make it wrong - just means they have a preference and so do our men. My husband does things to please me and I am happy to do things to please him.
I'm all for wanting to be attractive to your SO, but it really annoys me when men fixate on women's "parts".The way some men behave about women's hair, it almost seems like they forget it's on her head.
ladylibra
New Member
that situation just makes me sad... because it seems like men change physically (get fatter, go bald, etc.) and we're just supposed to accept it because we love him. but let a woman cut her hair, gain some weight, acquire some stretch marks, have her breasts reduced and it's okay for the guy to be less attracted to her because she changed physically.
i don't like double-standards is all. i'll shut up now...
ladylibra
New Member
dang i keep forgetting that because it's not a factor for me.
guess that sort of invalidates part of my previous post, cuz i know some chicks are quick to up and leave if their man isn't rakin in the bacon...
ajacks
Well-Known Member
If I were married I would definitely discuss it with my husband before cutting, although ultimately it would be my decision. I wouldn't want him to do anything to drastically change his appearance, for example not exercising and getting fat.
MD_Lady
Well-Known Member
You're DEFINITELY right about the love some women have for the wallet.
My thing is the weight someone expects their opinion to have. For instance, I think my husband looks best shortly after having his hair cut. I rather he didn't grow his hair long (fro, dreads, etc.) and if he asked my opinion, I'd be honest (he's not considering doing this, by the way). However, if he really wanted to grow his hair out, I wouldn't give him a hard time about it because at the end of the day, his being pleased with his appearance is more important than him looking the way I want him to look.
Channie
Member
My overall decision is mine. I want long hair because I was always used to having it. I was a natural MBL at 7! 
Girls used to always stretch my almost APL shrinkage to see who's hair was longer. (It was always mine 
). A relaxer broke my hair off at 11 (Whew that pissed my dad off). And I've been stuck at a relaxed Shoulder/Collarbone Length ever since. I'm determined to get back to that length relaxed. I admit I've gotten bored over the years a few times and did the Halle cut. I've gotten it out of my system.
The first time I cut it, I had TOO many guys tellin me men like long hair, asking me why I cut my hair, etc. I took on the "It's my hair I'll do what I please." mantra for a long time. Grew it out, got bored, cut it again. More men appreciated it, told me it was sexy, etc. I took it a step further and cut off the length at the top and texturized it to have a curly twa. I told a few friends on the phone, they were kinda upset. Then they saw it, told me it fit me, got a lotta nice compliments. I'm growing it back. Threw some color in the mix to cure the boredom, and it got real damaged.
I got to shoulder length at this point. Contemplated cutting the color out, which would have been an awkward length not long enough for a pony, but not short enough to do anything but wear it down. I ran it by my SO (along with the fact I was working out). He got upset and said "Go ahead and cut yo hair off and get all musclebound like a man!"
I hung up on him. I couldn't believe how unsupportive he was. So I decided to wait until my healthy hair was down to my shoulders and cut it. It got unbearable, scraggly and chewed up, so I cut it myself into a nice lil bob. Told him I did it, he initially got upset until he saw I didn't do a bad job and it wasn't as much as he thought (he doesn't believe I can do my own hair for some reason). He constanly nags me about "when I'ma wear a wrap, when I'ma get it flat ironed and feathered... 
" cause that's how he likes it (all heat styles, mind you). I told him to give me some time as I'm concerned about the health of my hair at the moment. He sucks his teeth and rolls his eyes.
I swear I want to :hardslap: all the time when we discuss my hair. Sometimes I wanna cut my hair all off to spite him, but I know I'd only be hurting myself as I want my hair to be a full BSL. I'm just gonna have to silently wait to flip my hair in his face. Sorry it was so long, but I had no one to vent to all this time.
Girls used to always stretch my almost APL shrinkage to see who's hair was longer. (It was always mine ). A relaxer broke my hair off at 11 (Whew that pissed my dad off). And I've been stuck at a relaxed Shoulder/Collarbone Length ever since. I'm determined to get back to that length relaxed. I admit I've gotten bored over the years a few times and did the Halle cut. I've gotten it out of my system. The first time I cut it, I had TOO many guys tellin me men like long hair, asking me why I cut my hair, etc. I took on the "It's my hair I'll do what I please." mantra for a long time. Grew it out, got bored, cut it again. More men appreciated it, told me it was sexy, etc. I took it a step further and cut off the length at the top and texturized it to have a curly twa. I told a few friends on the phone, they were kinda upset. Then they saw it, told me it fit me, got a lotta nice compliments. I'm growing it back. Threw some color in the mix to cure the boredom, and it got real damaged.
I got to shoulder length at this point. Contemplated cutting the color out, which would have been an awkward length not long enough for a pony, but not short enough to do anything but wear it down. I ran it by my SO (along with the fact I was working out). He got upset and said "Go ahead and cut yo hair off and get all musclebound like a man!"
I hung up on him. I couldn't believe how unsupportive he was. So I decided to wait until my healthy hair was down to my shoulders and cut it. It got unbearable, scraggly and chewed up, so I cut it myself into a nice lil bob. Told him I did it, he initially got upset until he saw I didn't do a bad job and it wasn't as much as he thought (he doesn't believe I can do my own hair for some reason). He constanly nags me about "when I'ma wear a wrap, when I'ma get it flat ironed and feathered... " cause that's how he likes it (all heat styles, mind you). I told him to give me some time as I'm concerned about the health of my hair at the moment. He sucks his teeth and rolls his eyes. I swear I want to :hardslap: all the time when we discuss my hair. Sometimes I wanna cut my hair all off to spite him, but I know I'd only be hurting myself as I want my hair to be a full BSL. I'm just gonna have to silently wait to flip my hair in his face. Sorry it was so long, but I had no one to vent to all this time.
MD_Lady
Well-Known Member
My overall decision is mine. I want long hair because I was always used to having it. I was a natural MBL at 7!
The first time I cut it, I had TOO many guys tellin me men like long hair, asking me why I cut my hair, etc. I took on the "It's my hair I'll do what I please." mantra for a long time. Grew it out, got bored, cut it again. More men appreciated it, told me it was sexy, etc. I took it a step further and cut off the length at the top and texturized it to have a curly twa. I told a few friends on the phone, they were kinda upset. Then they saw it, told me it fit me, got a lotta nice compliments. I'm growing it back. Threw some color in the mix to cure the boredom, and it got real damaged.
I got to shoulder length at this point. Contemplated cutting the color out, which would have been an awkward length not long enough for a pony, but not short enough to do anything but wear it down. I ran it by my SO (along with the fact I was working out). He got upset and said "Go ahead and cut yo hair off and get all musclebound like a man!"
I swear I want to :hardslap: all the time when we discuss my hair. Sometimes I wanna cut my hair all off to spite him, but I know I'd only be hurting myself as I want my hair to be a full BSL. I'm just gonna have to silently wait to flip my hair in his face. Sorry it was so long, but I had no one to vent to all this time.
And guys are TOTALLY oblivious to the whole hair health thing. My husband has made a couple comments to me about not cutting my hair or my hair being "fine the way it is". What he doesn't realize is that I've had breakage issues in the past and, as a result, my hair was very uneven. Granted, my hair was almost to the top of my shoulders, but with my shabby ends, it looked thin and fragile.
CurleeDST
Well-Known Member
Yeah and it is sad. The man doesn't have to make more to be the head of the house but many women fail to realize that. In the end my girl said with 3 women in the house she could not see herself doing 3 heads of hair so she cut hers. Her hubby felt sort of like she changed up after they got married b/c she cut her hair without telling him.
But the reason why she had to cut it that short (she wasn't going for that short initially) she was keeping her BSL length natural hair in a bun and was not taking it down for about 2 to 3 weeks. Well, when the stylist attempted to take down her bun it became a big LOC! She could not pick through it for nothing even with conditioner! So she had to cut it out. Her stylist and my daughter both attend the same gymnastics studio so we had a good laugh about it a few Saturdays ago while our daughters were in class.
But once she had it that short, she really liked it on her. She slicked it down with gel which gave it a fingerwave look. It was really pretty! But she is growing it back out (but only to chin length). I guess that was the compromise.
But the reason why she had to cut it that short (she wasn't going for that short initially) she was keeping her BSL length natural hair in a bun and was not taking it down for about 2 to 3 weeks. Well, when the stylist attempted to take down her bun it became a big LOC! She could not pick through it for nothing even with conditioner! So she had to cut it out. Her stylist and my daughter both attend the same gymnastics studio so we had a good laugh about it a few Saturdays ago while our daughters were in class.
But once she had it that short, she really liked it on her. She slicked it down with gel which gave it a fingerwave look. It was really pretty! But she is growing it back out (but only to chin length). I guess that was the compromise.
dang i keep forgetting that because it's not a factor for me.
CurleeDST
Well-Known Member
LOL yeah the compromise is she is growing it back but only to her chin.
Not to be ugly, but I think he needs to settle down. Your friend, more than likely, cut her hair because she liked it better short. People are entitled to their preferences, but when you're talking about another person, you may get a vote, but not veto power.
It is important to let your man or SO be happy with the way you look. But, I know that a woman has to ultimately be happy with herself. I am happy that my SO doesn't have a strong preference in the way I do my hair. I think he just rather see me happy and healthy. It's when I nag him about what I want to do to my hair, is when things get complicated.
. It's when I nag him about what I want to do to my hair, is when things get complicated.I have never believed chicks that say "I'm just growing my hair out because my man wants to see it long." Nope, if you're a short hair chick, you're a short hair chick and nobody's going to change that, but you. So, while our mates may enjoy longer hair, it's US who WANT the longer hair enough to deal with what it takes to grow it out.
I've read right through this thread and find the replies muy interesante.
Curlee, this topic is thought provoking!!!! I am not married and I am currently not seeing anyone. Now that my hair is at the top of BSL, I must admit, I do think...wow..by the time I meet /marry my hubby, my hair will be MBL/WL, and I'll definitely enjoy him admiring it.. and running his fingers throuh it
But would I 'keep' it long for him? Well.....yeah! Because I would like to play my part in making my hubby happy.
I think growing it long is one thing, and keeping it long is another. Growing long hair can take years, depending on what lenght you are strting from so it's a serious commitment to your man to grow it long (MBL/WL)! But I think cutting long hair without discussing it with your hubby is drastic, if you know your man likes it...men are verry aesthetic... they see before they feel.
Curlee, I agree with you; I see nothing wrong with growing long hair on your husband's request. If his request is genuine (and he'll love/respect and treasure you regardless of long or short hair) then that's cool. :Rose:
Curlee, this topic is thought provoking!!!! I am not married and I am currently not seeing anyone. Now that my hair is at the top of BSL, I must admit, I do think...wow..by the time I meet /marry my hubby, my hair will be MBL/WL, and I'll definitely enjoy him admiring it.. and running his fingers throuh it
But would I 'keep' it long for him? Well.....yeah! Because I would like to play my part in making my hubby happy.
I think growing it long is one thing, and keeping it long is another. Growing long hair can take years, depending on what lenght you are strting from so it's a serious commitment to your man to grow it long (MBL/WL)! But I think cutting long hair without discussing it with your hubby is drastic, if you know your man likes it...men are verry aesthetic... they see before they feel.
Curlee, I agree with you; I see nothing wrong with growing long hair on your husband's request. If his request is genuine (and he'll love/respect and treasure you regardless of long or short hair) then that's cool. :Rose:
BillsBackerz67
Well-Known Member
Hmm it depends. I like long hair period. so I wouyldnt mind. But him having a heart attack over me cutting my hair wouldnt fly with me.
CurleeDST
Well-Known Member
I know my husband would not flip if I cut it all off (I did that about 18 months ago when I learned we were pregnant with our son) and I didn't discuss it with him. I met him when I sported and maintained a barber cut so he joked me when I came home with it that short again claiming I was attempting to "recapture my 20's". He got JOKES!
Well I am growing it back out and he is interested in seeing length so I see no problem with that. Keeping him attentive and interested in my IS my job as part of our marriage so I have no problem with it. If he were a boyfriend - that is a whole other story - but marriage, we have MANY years to go together (God willing) so it's in BOTH our best interest to keep it as interesting and pleasing as possible.
Well I am growing it back out and he is interested in seeing length so I see no problem with that. Keeping him attentive and interested in my IS my job as part of our marriage so I have no problem with it. If he were a boyfriend - that is a whole other story - but marriage, we have MANY years to go together (God willing) so it's in BOTH our best interest to keep it as interesting and pleasing as possible.
Similar threads
