Going out solo....

Glib Gurl

Glib Gurl

Well-Known Member
So now that I am back on the market, I am considering hitting up a few lounge spots and parties solo :look: I am a lite scared of the idea but when I go with my girls I end up talking to them all night and also doing a mental comparison of how many guys check for me vs. them and it just always brings me down.

So I am wondering if any of you ladies do/have done this and if you have any helpful tips :)
 
Yup! Im going out tonight to a wine tasting at an art gallery all by myself. I'm excited! I am an introvert so I don't mind being alone. The fun part is never knowing who I'm going to meet.
 
I haven't done it in years, not counting going solo to a movie when my flight home was cancelled a few months ago, but I recall meeting lots of men when going out solo.

They all commented about me being "different" for being out alone. I enjoyed it. Travel light though since nobody is there to watch your coat and/or bag....or leave them in the car taking only keys, ID and cash/credit card.
 
i usually rely on someone talking to me when i'm out alone. but i have seen women in bars and other public places reading books. so i would say if you feel a little uncomfortable no matter the location people wouldn't look twice if you had a book.
 
I used yo go to lounges not clubs by myself all the time. I'd sit/stand by the bar and people would just come up to me & start talking.
 
I am not single, but what was interesting was that going out by myself tonight seemed to attract a lot of attention from the men.:look: One guy who struck up a conversation with me told me apart from looking attractive he noticed I was by myself and not with anyone else. He found me approachable. A lot of the women at the event tonight were paired up either with an SO or a friend and he found that intimidating. Just a little golden nugget for you...:)

My tips from tonight since it worked and I wasn't even trying:look:, always look good, have confidence, always have a good time (not look like you are but actually enjoy yourself). Talk to people, smile, be willing to learn something about someone else. I met great people and had a wonderful time. I love taking myself on dates.
 
I used to go out alone all of the time when I was married because I like (read "love") to dance and ex-hubs did not. I attracted guys all night, probably cause I was on the dance floor a lot. I used to tell my single girlfriends to do it. I not only met guys, but I also befriended the other female regulars. However, I don't know that I would have been as successful had I gone somewhere where people don't dance. I think it's easier to successfully go solo to an activity that you enjoy.

I agree with the advice to smile and be friendly. Have fun! :)
 
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I had a meeting at a cafe and got there 15 minutes early. I was playing on my phone while I waited and a couple of times I looked up to find someone leering at me. Lawd. This was a professional meeting so I DID NOT want anyone approaching and it being all awkward when the person I was waiting for eventually arrived. I didn't smile back and had to give a bit of a "don't even try" look.

All that to support what others are saying here. I think if you're alone and have a friendly disposition, you will attract attention. It's that simple.
 
RegaLady said:
I am not single, but what was interesting was that going out by myself tonight seemed to attract a lot of attention from the men.:look: One guy who struck up a conversation with me told me apart from looking attractive he noticed I was by myself and not with anyone else. He found me approachable. A lot of the women at the event tonight were paired up either with an SO or a friend and he found that intimidating. Just a little golden nugget for you...:)

My tips from tonight since it worked and I wasn't even trying:look:, always look good, have confidence, always have a good time (not look like you are but actually enjoy yourself). Talk to people, smile, be willing to learn something about someone else. I met great people and had a wonderful time. I love taking myself on dates.
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RegaLady
What type of event was this?
 
I think I'll have to start doing the same. I'm open to going out in the evenings solo, especially at side walk cafe's. Ideally, I prefer to do something with a friend whose company I enjoy but I realize that I might not always have someone right there that is available to go out.

I do think it's a great idea for a single woman to go out all by herself though for sure :yep:.
 
RegaLady said:
Yup! Im going out tonight to a wine tasting at an art gallery all by myself. I'm excited! I am an introvert so I don't mind being alone. The fun part is never knowing who I'm going to meet.
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This!! I'm also an introvert & do 90% of things alone. The other 10% is shared w/ FH. But I loooooove doing things solo. I have a concert next week which I'm doing solo. I hit the movies all the time solo. Art festivals, outside jazz concerts, etc., SOLO! Lol
 
I would probably feel a bit akward ...kudos to those who can do it.

I've met a few men on hiking meetups (wasn't trying to meet them, I'm married, but had decent conversations with them on the hike :) ) and there are meetups for just about every activity you can think of
 
I'm a huge advocate of going out alone, I definitely get more attention from men when I do. Even if it doesn't turn into exchanging numbers or anything, it's good practice to be more comfortable around them. I've also been on 3 vacations by myself and had a blast.

I really think it's important to be able to enjoy your own company. You can end up missing out on so much if you're always waiting around for someone to go places with you.
 
bunnycolvin said:
i usually rely on someone talking to me when i'm out alone. but i have seen women in bars and other public places reading books. so i would say if you feel a little uncomfortable no matter the location people wouldn't look twice if you had a book.
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Would reading a book make a man think that you don't want to be bothered? I see women who are alone constantly texting. I personally think they look like they aren't open to meeting others.
 
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I go out all the time. Today I walked around downtown and took a lot of selfies. I just go out to have fun, it doesn't matter to me if people talk to me or not.
 
I think this is a great idea! Do you ladies have suggestions on what places to go to that's not too strange to go alone? I'd never go to a club alone. But, I could do a lounge or a bar. If you're at these places alone what do you do if you're not texting/ FBing?
 
Godyssey said:
Would reading a book make a man think that you don't want to be bothered? I see women who are alone constantly texting. I personally think they look like they aren't open to meeting others.
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well generally you wouldnt just sit there the whole time reading. its just to give yourself something to do if you are feeling self conscious. ideally you would just rely on the book until you felt comfortable enough to put it down and talk to others or open yourself to conversation.

i text or play on my phone when im out alone and while it doesnt stop people from approaching me, i do wish i had something else to occupy me. usually i just get a buzz and start making eye contact, or just chat with the person sitting next to me. being occupied with something else has never stopped men from approaching me though, even when i want it to.
 
FearlessNik said:
I think this is a great idea! Do you ladies have suggestions on what places to go to that's not too strange to go alone? I'd never go to a club alone. But, I could do a lounge or a bar. If you're at these places alone what do you do if you're not texting/ FBing?
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I do bars/lounges or eat at the bar of a restaurant.

I usually play around on my phone, come on here or FB. Or watch (or pretend to watch) whatever is on tv, especially if it's sports.
 
FearlessNik said:
I think this is a great idea! Do you ladies have suggestions on what places to go to that's not too strange to go alone? I'd never go to a club alone. But, I could do a lounge or a bar. If you're at these places alone what do you do if you're not texting/ FBing?
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I've gone to clubs alone. Usually end up in conversations with people already there. Also dancing clubs...lots of dancing with different guys. If you are going to lounge bars etc I would not recommend being on your phone or looking too stand-offish.
Movies are also great to go to alone. As well as strolling the Mall.
 
I think that i would do almost anything solo - except for going to a bar or club. but that's only probably because they're not "my thing" anyway. This is what i should have said in my earlier post. I don't want to discourage anyone who is thinking about doing this.
 
I wish I had seen this thread yesterday.
I was going to go to one of the local lounges alone last night but I guess I got cold feet. :blush:
Don't know what's wrong with me, usually I am out doing everything alone, but when it comes to hanging out at a bar/club/restaurant alone; I get so uncomfortable. :nono:

I did go to a book store today, read some books, sipped some coffee and eat a turkey avocado sandwich. :lick:
 
You know it's funny, but I rarely go to movies by myself, or even vacation by myself, but I have to admit, the FEW times that I've actually done it, I REALLY REALLY enjoyed myself!!! :yep: :grin: One of my BEST vacations was a few years back when I traveled to CA by MYSELF and was on vacation. Now, granted, I wasn't COMPLETELY alone because I was staying with family friends and doing things with a whole bunch of new people lol, but just TRAVELING alone was soooo much LESS stress.
'
Also, I will DEFINITELY go to a movie by myself if there's a movie that I want to see that nobody else is interested in going to or if it's just a movie that I want to see alone on my OWN time. :yep: I actually get giddy and love it! :yep: I feel sooo "calm"... I can't explain it. I feel like it's a special treat just hanging out by myself. I think you end up enjoying your OWN company and your OWN thoughts. :yep: It's weird, I can't explain it, but I actually don't mind it! I also like going to a small cafe with a book and just sipping on some tea and getting a sandwich while immersing myself in a good book. :yep:




Godyssey said:
Would reading a book make a man think that you don't want to be bothered? I see women who are alone constantly texting. I personally think they look like they aren't open to meeting others.
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You know, to be honest, I actually think reading a book seems a lot less intimidating.....TO ME. For some reason, when I see people with their heads down on their phones 24/7, it just gives me the impression that they really don't want to be bothered...even if they are ALONE. For some reason I view the phone as an extension of another person being there, so I'm thinking: "Well, maybe they're texting their friend who is on their way, or something"....:look: Or I figure that they must REALLY want to be "alone" in their social media pursuits if they are glued to their phones. lol!

But when someone is reading the paper or a book, I just figure that they're taking some time out of their day to do a little reading, and they wouldn't be upset if someone interrupted them or something. Idk why I view the difference between phones and books in this way, but it's a different feeling TO ME, and I wonder if guys sort of view it the same way?? :look:
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
You know it's funny, but I rarely go to movies by myself, or even vacation by myself, but I have to admit, the FEW times that I've actually done it, I REALLY REALLY enjoyed myself!!! :yep: :grin: One of my BEST vacations was a few years back when I traveled to CA by MYSELF and was on vacation. Now, granted, I wasn't COMPLETELY alone because I was staying with family friends and doing things with a whole bunch of new people lol, but just TRAVELING alone was soooo much LESS stress.
'
Also, I will DEFINITELY go to a movie by myself if there's a movie that I want to see that nobody else is interested in going to or if it's just a movie that I want to see alone on my OWN time. :yep: I actually get giddy and love it! :yep: I feel sooo "calm"... I can't explain it. I feel like it's a special treat just hanging out by myself. I think you end up enjoying your OWN company and your OWN thoughts. :yep: It's weird, I can't explain it, but I actually don't mind it! I also like going to a small cafe with a book and just sipping on some tea and getting a sandwich while immersing myself in a good book. :yep:






You know, to be honest, I actually think reading a book seems a lot less intimidating.....TO ME. For some reason, when I see people with their heads down on their phones 24/7, it just gives me the impression that they really don't want to be bothered...even if they are ALONE. For some reason I view the phone as an extension of another person being there, so I'm thinking: "Well, maybe they're texting their friend who is on their way, or something"....:look: Or I figure that they must REALLY want to be "alone" in their social media pursuits if they are glued to their phones. lol!

But when someone is reading the paper or a book, I just figure that they're taking some time out of their day to do a little reading, and they wouldn't be upset if someone interrupted them or something. Idk why I view the difference between phones and books in this way, but it's a different feeling TO ME, and I wonder if guys sort of view it the same way?? :look:
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Hmmm...I never really thought about the phone vs book thing like that. That makes sense.

But then again, I also use my Kindle app on my phone sometimes. :lol:
 
Just went out solo last night and wound up with a dinner companion, my meal paid for, and a potential date next week. If I had been with a friend that wouldn't have happened.
 
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