Going natural after having relaxed means a haircut

[SShanique]

?

I was reading some posts of people who went natural after being relaxed, and they said that their hair tended to break easily. I was thinking of going natural. I've been using a relaxer since I was 10. Now, I'm 23. My hair is pretty thick, 4a, and grows pretty rapidly. It's past my shoulders, and I wanted to keep it that way as well as growing the rest of my hair out natural. Would you think that's freasible?

Also, if I were to go natural, I wouldn't want that nappy look. Do you know how to obtain a look that wouldn't make my hair look upkept but just with small curls and not afro-like?

 

[SVT]

Re: Going natural after having relaxed means a hai

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Poster: SShanique
Subject: Re: Going natural after having relaxed means a haircut
?

I was reading some posts of people who went natural after being relaxed, and they said that their hair tended to break easily. I was thinking of going natural. I've been using a relaxer since I was 10. Now, I'm 23. My hair is pretty thick, 4a, and grows pretty rapidly. It's past my shoulders, and I wanted to keep it that way as well as growing the rest of my hair out natural. Would you think that's freasible?

Also, if I were to go natural, I wouldn't want that nappy look. Do you know how to obtain a look that wouldn't make my hair look upkept but just with small curls and not afro-like?

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Hello Shanique and welcome to the board!

Shanique, I think transitioning with minimal drama is feasible. I transitioned before discovering the hair boards and had plenty of drama. In hindsight, I would have moisturized the heck out of my hair, worn stress-free hairstyles and been mentally prepared for the inevitable haircut to remove the relaxed ends. Perhaps others who’ve transitioned with minimal difficulties will also respond.

Concerning “nappy”, I prefer casting a positive light on the word nappy. I like to sometimes pick out my hair to see how big and fluffy it is. My hair is healthier these days and my nappy afro is one reminder of that. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

There are different methods (braiding, twisting, scrunching, etc.) and products (gels, oils, styling creams, conditioners, etc.) that can enhance the natural pattern of your hair. If you decide to go natural, be prepared though. Your natural pattern might not be curls. It could be waves, zig zags, coils, corkscrews or some some combination of all of them on one strand or on different areas of your head.

I’m curious, Shanique. In one thread you wrote this…

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Re: Relaxer Didn't Take
#18209 - 01/11/03 06:13 PM


Hey y'all. What the heck is lye? I thought it was bad since all the perms I've ever had said no lye. I was like thank God it has no lye.

I use Optimum relaxers, too. I get my hair relaxed about every 4 to 5 weeks. If I go any longer than that I can't put a comb through it! I never thought anything was wrong with that until I saw the replies to her that she should wait couple more weeks.

Is there something I'm missing here? I know almost nothing about hair. My mom still does my hair, and I'm 23. I only wash it.


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and another thread…

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Re: Are some hairdressers undercover HATERS
#18205 - 01/11/03 05:58 PM

Thank God that whenever I go to a hairdresser it's my aunt, and she absolutely adores me! I'd never want to have to go through a hating stylist! I've never even heard of it until I read this post!

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Most people I know who wear their hair natural also maintain it themselves because hairdressers who are knowledgeable about natural hair are few and far between. Does you mom or your aunt know how to care for natural hair? I ask because you are currently dependent on them for your hair care needs. If you decide to go natural, who will care for your hair? Are you considering doing it yourself?

One more quote...

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Re: To grease or not to grease?
#18265 - 01/11/03 08:29 PM


Thanks for the reply! Gosh, this board is so rich with information. I feel like my hair "regimen" is so simple compared to everyone else's. I must say that I get a perm about every 4 to 5 weeks because my hair grows so fast, and it takes longer than the advised time to put it in. Then I wash it every week and grease the scalp every 3 days. That's all I ever do, and my hair is fine.

Then I come here and see vitamins and lots of other stuff. This is overwhelming! I'm just taking it all in!

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Right now you're used to a simple routine: grease every three days. If you decide to transition, maintaining natural hair and relaxed hair on the same head might not be as easy.

I'm not trying to discourage you, but rather I want you to be aware of some challenges (no natural haircare stylist, increased maintenance while transitioning, different hair pattern than expected) you will face if you decide to transition.

Edited because I quoted you twice.

 

[londongirl3]

I'm going natural and I have done it before which makes me a sort of veteran. Going natural does mean a big hair cut. I have done it before and it took me nearly 2 years to go back to the length and style of my relaxed hair. I am doing it yet again because this time I have decided to give it a real chance and try for 5 years.

I still cannot walk around with my natural hair because it's now a short puffy ball and I don't like it. I am hoping to grow it for awhile and then it can hopefully look less like a fro and more lying down.

I do not tell anyone to transition. It's a hard decision and you should really decide if the emotional baggage is worth it for you. I still have not found a hair dresser willing to style my hair.

 

[Jaquai]

i hope nobody takes offense to what im saying but it seems sometimes when people go natural they still want a relaxed look. It is hard to get and keep a relaxed look with natural hair. although eventually if you straighten enough your hair will stay straighter, i think its called training the hair.

but if you go natural, your going to have to deal with kinks, naps, and coils if that is your texture. natural hair can be easy but not if you try to make it do something it doesnt like such as straightening. ive been natural about half of my life and during the half that i relaxed i transitioned about 4 times before i finally stuck with it and i must say i dont think i will ever go back to perms. i cant see myself 70years old and still going for a touchup.

i dont have a problem with chemicals and i think that maybe a texturizer might be a better option for you. since you dont want a nappy look then a texturizer(mild relaxer) may help you achieve your curly look. hope this helps /images/graemlins/smile.gif

edited to say that i transitioned without making the big chop. at first i just wore a bun and slicked it back. i also wore scarves alot. when i had about half natural, half relaxed i would blowdry it straight. i would cut alittle off every month or so.
when i got to shoulder length natural hair(when straightened) i went ahead and cut off the rest of the relaxer. i also want to add that natural hair is not hard to me. i love it. transitioning is challenging though. but once i got through that it was easy. for some people it may be hard to deal with natural hair but you learn to. hope this helps someone.

 

[sassygirl125]

I kinda agree with londongirl-- just chopping it off would be 100x easier than trying to maintain two textures. But most people (myself included!) aren't that brave! I'm in the process of transistioning. But I'm not going to do the 'big chop' either. I look terrible with short hair. (I have cheated by snipping off a little hair here and there...) I alternate between wearing braids and a fake afro puff. And I don't braid very often anymore... If your relaxed hair is in good condition and you keep your natural hair moisturized you should be able to transition without getting a drastic haircut. Don't manipulate it too much--keep your styles very low maintainence.
I spend more time caring for my two textures than I ever did caring for my fully relaxed head! I had to learn an entirely new hair care regimen. It's only been 7 months--I'm still learning. If you're a "grease the scalp and go" type who is dependent on others for hair care, find a good natural hairstylist with the quickness! Or get it braided.
Whether or not you have small curls or an afro depends on the texture of your natural hair. When your new growth is wet does it coil up or form little 's' shapes? If so you will probably be able to get the look you want.

 

[SShanique]

Thank you all for the information! I'm still absorbing it. I love this board! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[londongirl3]

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Jaquai said:
i hope nobody takes offense to what im saying but it seems sometimes when people go natural they still want a relaxed look. It is hard to get and keep a relaxed look with natural hair.

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I KNOW that was my problem the first time I went natural. I tried everything to make my hair straight from braiding to flat irons to blow drying. It's a surprise that I still had hair at the end of it all.

Natural hair has alot to do with acceptance. You have to learn to live with your kinks and coils and you have to learn that you can soften them but you can take them away.

 

[BrightEyes]

I agree.

I don't see the point in being natural if you don't want that "nappy look". Considering the fact that your hair is probably nappy, you might be wasting your time. If you find your naps to be unattractive, then it's best to continue relaxing or get a texturizer. I see a lot of girls who are new to being natural, but spend all their time trying to get little curls and ringlets. They would have saved themselves the trouble if they had just gotten a texturizer and called it a day. Don't do something that you are not going to be 110% happy with!

Natural hair, IMO, is very easy to take care of. And like Jacquai, I can't see myself using a relaxer again. Once I got the hang of my natural hair, I got lazy. I'm still learning tricks, but the BASIC maintenance of my natural hair is very simple.

I transitioned with a press and curl, so I am proof that chopping the hair is not necessary. And even if it was, I think that being able to let go of your length is really a self-empowerment step. I find that when I was relaxed, I didn't do what was best for my hair because I was holding to that last bit of length. Letting go of that fear is very liberating. I really think eradicating that fear was a huge step in the right direction. Now when I cut my hair, it's no big thing because I know I have thick healthy hair coming in.

 

[hairfanatic]

Hi SShanique,

Anything is possible. I believe Valleygirl grew out her relaxer without cutting. The main thing you can do so as not to become frustrated is to wear your hair in styles that are similiar to your natural hair. You can do this by using perm rods to roll your hair to wear a curly look, the braid out, twists, buns, etc. Yes, it will take patience but it can be done. Although I cut my hair, there was a great book that helped me appreciate my growing stages called Good Hair - For Colored Girls Who've Considred Weaves When the Chemicals Became Too Ruff by Lonnice Brittenum Bonner. Another great book is Let's Talk Hair by Pamela Ferrell.

 

[nita4]

Re: Going natural after having relaxed means a hai

Wow, I glad I saw this post. This is something I've been considering for months. I was just wondering what the transition phase would really be like??? I don't have a problem with my hair looking or being nappy and I've come to realize that I enjoy wearing my hair in styles that are close to it's natural texture. I love the look of natural hair - it's so pretty and free to me. But, what was it really like for those of you who have transitioned? Was it hard? I don't want to do a big chop. if anything I will blow dry, pin up and go. I have "Let's talk Hair" and I've read several other books on transition styles which I use while extending my touch ups. I think I can do this, but it just doesn't seem like it's going to be that easy. Right now I have twelve weeks of outgrowth, and I'm working with it. But what will happen later when I have more. How do I manage? Help!!

 

[godivabap]

If your hair is naturally nappy, then it just is.

There is no way for you to have your natural "4a" hair not look "afro like". You seem to have a negative concept of your natural hair. Maybe instead of trying to change it, you should change your concept of what natural hair is. Natural nappy hair is as beautiful, manageable and neat as curly, wavy and straight hair. Just because you stop relaxing does not mean you are going to be looking like Buckwheat's kid sister. However, if you have this negative concept of nappy hair, then you might want to just press or get a texturizer, natural might not be for you.

 

[londongirl3]

Re: If your hair is naturally nappy, then it just is.

I do think there's a distinction between a baby afro and a longer hair afro. I am not a fan of short hair and having done the big chop, I am not willing to step out of my house like that. I do want to grow my hair longer in braids and when it's at least 6-8 inches, I will be more comfortable in it ( I have done it before, it's not a hypothesis).

I disagree with the fact that natural hair is easy to manage. I think it is easier than what most people think but it is certainly not easy.........at least not for me. When I had relaxed hair, I was a more of a 'wash and go' person but now I have to pay attention to the products and moisturising. I'm also preparing to learn new ways to comb my hair because that seriously compromised my last attempt.

 

[LondonDiva]

Re: If your hair is naturally nappy, then it just is.

I'd definitely have to agree with godivabap (welcome to the board by the way) /images/graemlins/smile.gif

If you go natural you have to be able to be comfortable with your hair and it's texture in every way imagniable from how it shrinks and coils up, to changing products to suit your new hair texture, as well as managing it. I've had texturiser (men's one to make it curly), relaxed with no-lye, halle berry cut, braids, weave, natural fro, dreadlocs the works and to be able to care for it no matter what style it's in is very demanding especially if like me, your a perfectionist when it comes to hair and just have to have it looking good no matter what.

Natural hair (for me) isn't difficult to handle, it was just a lot more time comsuming to take care of than my relaxed hair now, and even still my relaxed hair takes long to style as well. Be also ready for the negative looks and comments, it may or may not come with the territory but people (family included) can be less supportive on your quest to go natural. It never stopped me at all as my family weren't bothered, they know what I'm like when it comes to hair and changed it as often as anything. But there were some catty comments but it made me all the more determined. What stopped me from carrying on was pure boredom. I grew my hair once from broken off relaxed hair as a teen to self braiding into the healthiest even fro I've ever seen. That same evening I cut it all off tapered it short back and sides and gave myself a men's kit texturiser because I was bored. I also just cut my locs off one November night down to 1 inch after 10 months of growing them, without any second though because I was bored. I just like to experiment and see what works for me. I can sport the naps, the chemically coloured and or permed hair, braids, locs the whole nine as long as it complements me and looks healthy when I do it.

 

[Peacesteem]

I can relate to your post
When I went natural I did it the drastic way! I had about four months of new growth went to "Lock n Chops" in manhattan and literally CHOPPED of all my hair. Now, it was no great loss my relaxed hair was in reeeeally bad shape to begin with. I had about two inches of hair on my head. I put some earrings and lipstick on quick fast! Now I have about 6 1/2 inches and getting about a inch a month since learning about what my hair needs. But before I did this I knew fully that I was not going to have hair like Cree Summer. My hair is 4a/b and I love every kinky or nap as you put it. I have different textures and I have grown to know what my hair feels like. Everyone has there own preference so if nappy hair is not for you don't go natural you will be unhappy and upset about the hair growth you could have had if you did'nt cut of your relaxed ends. Some people just perfer not to have kinky hair. However, the more I learned about my natual hair the more I was determined to wear it that way. Peace and Blessings what ever you decide just keep it healthy! /images/graemlins/user.gif