"Girl, did you see his shoes?!..."

What are your standards?

  • He needs to be fresh to death

    Votes: 3 4.8%

  • Doesn't matter to me as long as he's treating me good

    Votes: 8 12.7%

  • I'll let a couple things slide, but I do have standards

    Votes: 52 82.5%
  • Total voters
    63
  • Poll closed .
rara171

rara171

Well-Known Member
Okay girls... I want complete honesty.

How much do the "extras" (i.e. clothes and money) mean to you?

Do you need your man rockin the latest fits? Or is his old Fubu Jersey and Filas fine with you?

Does his car need to be from the near '00's?... Or is that '87 Pinto ok as long as he picks you up for dinner?


Do tell :yep:....


p.s.

I know if yall lying or not. Don't try and play me. lol
 
lol the title is exactly what my sisters say about guys who try to talk to us whether he just got the newest j's or wearin some phat farms. I don't pay attention to stuff like that right off the bat. I voted for the third option
 
My basic instinct is to inspect a man's character before inspecting his shoes, car, or bank account. Of course I'm not blind, I will assess as his material/superficial status is revealed to me. So it's not or I should say hasn't been my primary focus upon choosing a mate, however it is becoming more important as stability is very important to me. I used to pride myself on not being materialistic and looking underneath the surface...in dating it hasn't been beneficial for me to have that attitude. It's draining, especially with my generous nature.

At my age I've outgrown the energy for fixer-uppers, scatter-brained men looking for a good woman to complete them, and make them LOOK like a good man, provide THEM with stability and direction in life. I've dealt with enough charity cases who believe they deserve and are entitled to an independent woman, but are really lazy moochers and golddiggers with penises with nothing else to offer but an erection, but they still have that annoying little dog syndrome, that makes them see a King when they look in the mirror and they are really paupers...some will even have the audacity to try to accuse you for wanting them for what they got or what they could provide when clearly your earnings trump theirs. The 'independent woman' phenomenon is birthing more and more men that are becoming lazy, feeling entitled, and taking advantage. So I'm learning to be a bit more stuck-up in this area initially.
 
I am looking for good character, because they tangible things can go in a heartbeat, good character is around forever.
 
Bunny77 said:
How old are you? :lol:
Click to expand...

LOL.

Well I'm 29 and I like character AND a well kempt man. A polished, well dressed man is sexy.

But I'm not so shallow as to totally overlook someone because of their shoes, clothes or car. We just may have to go shopping...
 
Last edited:
rara171 said:
20 LOL.

In college, so you can see where this stems from! lol
Click to expand...

I figured! Cause I haven't thought about these things since I was like, 17... and even then, I didn't think about it all that much either. I'm not impressed by dudes who have nice things because of mama and daddy's money... :lol: I had that too! :lol:


Anyway, to be a little more serious, I like a man who takes care of himself and looks nice, but designer clothes/fashionable shoes don't mean a thing to me.

If a guy is in college and drives a Pinto, I wouldn't care. You supposed to be broke in college. A 30-year-old driving a Pinto? Yeah, I got a problem with that cause you should have enough money by then for something better.

The dudes with REAL money are often the ones least likely to show it. I briefly dated a REAL rich man, and we went to expensive restaurants all the time... and fool wore jeans and gym shoes to the restaurant!!! :wallbash:

I wasn't mad though after he dropped $200 on the meal though... :thumbsup:

I'm just sayin... folks making a big deal on superficial outer stuff like shoes when the WALLET is the main thing y'all need to be checkin! :look:
 
Bunny77 said:
The dudes with REAL money are often the ones least likely to show it. I briefly dated a REAL rich man, and we went to expensive restaurants all the time... and fool wore jeans and gym shoes to the restaurant!!! :wallbash:

:look:
Click to expand...

I've had an experience like this. I wouldn't call him rich but he owns a few businesses and lives well.

And yes this fool stay dressed down. Don't get me wrong, he knows how to go all out if necessary. But he doesn't feel the need to flaunt his assets through his appearance.

Like you said, to him, the wallet speaks for itself.
 
It's normally the guys that wear the flashy clothes have the flashy car, that don't have a dollar in his pocket:lachen:.

My DH has never been into fashion or designer clothes. As long as it fits and he's comfortable, it doesn't bother me, and he's happy. Actually, I'm really happy that he's not into that kind of stuff, because unless he was making mad money, we'd have problems.

I'd rather a man put money into buying a house he can afford, rather than spending it on clothes that might go out of style in a years.
 
**kandi** said:
I've had an experience like this. I wouldn't call him rich but he owns a few businesses and lives well.

And yes this fool stay dressed down. Don't get me wrong, he knows how to go all out if necessary. But he doesn't feel the need to flaunt his assets through his appearance.

Like you said, to him, the wallet speaks for itself.
Click to expand...

Yep, I know how that is! I'm sure that when the time came, this guy would know how to dress up. He didn't get to the be CEO of an auto supplier for nothing. :lol:

But he was from the country (born in Mississippi), real casual, etc... so he tried to stay out of dressy clothes whenever he could on weekends!

I went out with a different guy over the weekend (more like the guy you're describing... not rich, but VERY comfortable and lives well). He had on okay shoes and wore jeans and regular sweater. We went to a sports bar and played pool... but I know dude makes six figures because of the type of job he has.

(Oh, and I agree with SvelteVelvet's whole post... a man's character is the most important thing, but since we are talking about material stuff, that's why I'm focusing on the wallet! :lol:)
 
~~HoneyComb~~ said:
It's normally the guys that wear the flashy clothes have the flashy car, that don't have a dollar in his pocket:lachen:.


I'd rather a man put money into buying a house he can afford, rather than spending it on clothes that might go out of style in a years.
Click to expand...

Both points are ON point! :D
 
I don't care about designer clothes as long as he dresses appropriately for the situation and is neat and tidy. I must say though, I can't abide a man that wears white shoes (trainer/sneakers excepted). I can't explain it, but I find that it's a certain type of man that wears white shoes and they're usually not the sort that I'm attracted to.

ETA: Obviously, there's always an exception to the rule.
 
I like a neat appearance. I don't value nor 'rock' the latest fashions and I doubt I ever will but that's not my thing. If he likes those things AND takes care of other things, well so be it but it's not important to me. I look more at his character, integrity and his love for God. Do his words line up with his actions? That's really the question for me.
 
When i first see a guy i dont see his character. I see how he presents himself--clothes, stature etc. If he looks unkempt then I can't deal with it. I dont care about labels (i don't wear them) or how new something is. Just dont look sloppy. Kind of how people just how well people ake care of them based on their fingernails I judged based on overall appearance...If you dont care about yourself i wont care about you
 
LOL...My bff can not stand anyone in POLO BOOTS...She can't explain it...the guy could be Kobe's little cousin..but if he had polo boots on...NOPE...and no jerseys...Her saying is: "If a grown man is caught in a jersey outside of the court, field, or rink, he's got to go" lol...
 
Means a lot. I don't see "character" and "bank account" from across the room.
When you first see a guy, his "good credit" does not introduce itself :look:. Shoooo, It says a lot about his character for him to actually continue rocking 'run over' shoes. . . or step out unkept. . . or sport a loud suit and color'd gators

just sayin'

"did you see those shoes?!" is right
 
Last edited:
well thanks everyone for posting.

disclaimer: the title does not reflect my own personal quote or thoughts. lol. I've just heard it on numerous occasions.

Superficiality is age universal.

I would vote for the third because money and clothes can only do so much. However, I would like him to be at least on the same level as I am.
I may only be 20 but I have my stuff together. I am blessed with great parents that support me financially, but I also do my part as well.

I know a guy that is 23, still lives at home without a car, phone or job. Every time I am contacted by him its through his parent's cell. He is a great guy but claims women are just "superficial" and that's why they don't want to date him. I believe women are just realistic. They want to be taken care of. If we wanted to take care of a someone, we would get pregnant.
 
Grooming is more important to me than fashion choices. As long as he's comfortable in his own skin and doesn't look like a straight up bum, we can talk.

But, I would probably look at him a lil funny if he had on a Fubu shirt from 1996. :giggle:
 
I firmly believe there is nothing sexier than a man with a job, clean finger nails and a hair cut :yep:

After that, as long as he knows how to dress appropriately for the situation and is comfortable with himself, if he likes it, I love it. I have learned you cannot look at the external because men will only show you what they want you to see. Their real personalities pop out spontaneously, that is what you have to watch for.
 
Money means alot to me cuz he needs to have what I have (credit, job, home, etc).

The outward manifestation of said money? Not so much. Unfortunately, I like eccentric quirky geeks so most of the time they are dressed CRAZY. Groomed and clean, but they just might have on a Members Only jacket from '83 or some MC Hammer pants.
(yes, I have dated men wearing those. They were both engineers and got PAID during the dot.com. One retired at 30)

Just last week I was out with some friends and this man in jeans and a slightly wrinkled polo shirt and sneakers started talking to me. None of my girlfriends would give him the time of day. Then he whipped out his phone and I SWOONED, it was one of those new Sony Ericsson models that you can't get in the states. Nice!

I'm such a techno geek that those are the kinds of things I notice. Don't get my number with a green screen non-color flip phone. That's just me....
 
starfish said:
Money means alot to me cuz he needs to have what I have (credit, job, home, etc).

The outward manifestation of said money? Not so much. Unfortunately, I like eccentric quirky geeks so most of the time they are dressed CRAZY. Groomed and clean, but they just might have on a Members Only jacket from '83 or some MC Hammer pants.
(yes, I have dated men wearing those. They were both engineers and got PAID during the dot.com. One retired at 30)

Just last week I was out with some friends and this man in jeans and a slightly wrinkled polo shirt and sneakers started talking to me. None of my girlfriends would give him the time of day. Then he whipped out his phone and I SWOONED, it was one of those new Sony Ericsson models that you can't get in the states. Nice!

I'm such a techno geek that those are the kinds of things I notice. Don't get my number with a green screen non-color flip phone. That's just me....
Click to expand...

Sounds like my 20 year old DD. She'd swoon over a cell phone:lachen:
 
I am not into labels so it wouldn't bother me if I met a guy who wore off brand sneakers or drove a kia.

I am more concern with him being well groomed, respectful, intelligent, and the list goes on.

Him having a BMW and the latest fashions, doesn't mean he ain't broke.
 
LOL this is a cute topic!

My answer is...No, it's not important to me. As long as you are clean and smell good and can look decent we are cool.

My hubby wears basketball pants/Jeans and a regular tshirt everyday, . If we are going somewhere other than our regular errands and stuff, he will put on a more dressy shirt and nice sneakers.

I don't have a problem with this, and i actually like how casual he is.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

SimpleKomplexity
Is It Really FLY, if You Are His B.U.D.D.Y?!
Replies
16
Views
450
Strangefruittree
Strangefruittree
blazingthru
Would You Agree That The World Is Dying
Replies
10
Views
2K
Iwanthealthyhair67
Iwanthealthyhair67
runwaydream
HELP!! confused about lying bf (long)
2
Replies
55
Views
1K
vestaluv1
V
Back
Top