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Getting your guy to understand!

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BomBShell♥

BomBShell♥

New Member
UGH! So ok..lol...Me and my BF of 2 or so months just got off of the phone & im so frustrated! Somehow we got on the topic of hair and he asked me when I was going to wear my own hair out...and I was like I dont. I dont want to mess up my own hair or cause breakages so I keep it done. Then he was like I dont like weaves, why dont u just cut it. WHAT!!! CUT IT!!! That would defeat the whole dang purpose!!! SMH. So I was like no I'm growing my hair out and taking care of it while I do. Then somehow mysteriously the phone hung up...:lachen: But anywho...how do you guys explain your hair process to your DH or BFs or GF:drunk:
 
Tell him you have a goal; it's comparable to being in school. He might not like the time you have to spend in classes and studying, but he'll love it when you get your degree. Same thing.
 
For some reason he doesn't mind.
He asks a lot of questions at first like why are you putting yogurt in your hair? I was going to eat that!:lachen: Or what does that do? Do you need me to get any avocados?

I told him my hair is like football to him ( he loves sports ) it so calming and soothing to me and I think he sees that. I can't stand watching sportscenter for two hours but if I'm detangling my hair or doing a search and destroy on my ends I will sit down on the couch and watch sports with him. He just gets it I guess....:rolleyes:
 
My SO told me that weaves are unacceptable to him.......I told him not to ever get one, but if that it the route I decide to go one day that is my decision. We all have our own personal reasons for doing what we do to our hair and in the long run we have to be happy with it. If you are committed to your HHJ and he is committed to you he will come to terms with it and understand that it is important to you. I am betting he will come around.:yep:
 
my BF love my hair and says its the first thing he noticed when he saw me for the first time. so when i was about to do a search&destroy, he came in the bathroom like "if you cut your hair, theres gonna be a problem" LOL

anywho, hes fine with watever i do except cutting it and he HATES weaves! he calls my hair sexy all the TIME! LOL

i understand where your BF is comming from when he says he hates weaves tho.
 
Hm. so true. How did you guys explain it to your SO's. I think if I explained it to him he would get the picture...and then if not hey, on to the next one right? lol sike just playing!
 
soulie said:
Tell him you have a goal; it's comparable to being in school. He might not like the time you have to spend in classes and studying, but he'll love it when you get your degree. Same thing.
Click to expand...

awesome analogy :up:

nothing to add, just wanted to say that you are quite the cutie, op :D
 
Girl, don't ditch your man over a weave!!!

If he really likes you he will get over it but don't make it a big issue between the two of you.

I met my hubby the first and last time i wore a weave. I actually hate weaves, braids (anything false for that matter but i wanted to give it a go just the once). He too says he hates weaves and all false hair yet he met me with a weave!!!

He loves long hair and doesn't care what the texture is,as long as its long. So i am now having to mention my impending BC every so often to prepare him so he doesn't have a heart attack on me.

In relationships i really do believe that we have to compromise/bend a bit on everything.

Why not tell him that you won't always wear the weave. Every now and again you'll let your hair rest and then he'll see your real hair and see how much progress your making by protecting it.
 
Ms.Christ3n said:
For some reason he doesn't mind.
He asks a lot of questions at first like why are you putting yogurt in your hair? I was going to eat that!:lachen: Or what does that do? Do you need me to get any avocados?

I told him my hair is like football to him ( he loves sports ) it so calming and soothing to me and I think he sees that. I can't stand watching sportscenter for two hours but if I'm detangling my hair or doing a search and destroy on my ends I will sit down on the couch and watch sports with him. He just gets it I guess....:rolleyes:
Click to expand...

That is too cute to me! LOL.
 
I have a amazing boyfriend

With that said...He ain't perfect

I PS on the regular because...he doesn't mind weaves, but he loves my hair. Any texture long or short...actually he prefers my hair short(wtf?!:lachen:) So as a nod to him I only wear my hair. I think that there will be a million other things that will affect your relationship, Don't make a big deal of one you can control... So give the man what he wants, boys aren't that complicated:kiss2:... And you will be surprised at the outcome....JMHO
 
I keep my sewn in as a protective style because Im a hooters girl. Which requires to wear my hair down at all times....& I just cant do that to my real hair because It will end my journey as quick as I started it. Not to mention I started my hair journey last august, me and him just got together in early may! & yes I understand it is just hair but however im on a journey to having healthy hair...& I cant just give that up! Plus he has really long dreds and doesnt include me in his hair process. lol...like he wants to cut his dreads now. & he hasnt once discussed it with me...

but the point of it all is I want to explain to him the journey...like I was telling him my hair regimen of how I wash my hair every week and he almost died! He was like "YOU CANT DO THAT! thats bad for your hair!" ....he is so caught up on the things he has heard through out his life from black women who knew nothing about hair! Then I was telling him about the JUICE and he was like all of those chemicals are bad for your hair. ...I wish there was a book that explain it to men in an elementary type way. :)
 
At this point, the HAIR wouldn't be my problem, Him hanging the phone up on me would....and a 2 month boyfriend too?!:nono::lachen:
 
osbornes0307 said:
I keep my sewn in as a protective style because Im a hooters girl. Which requires to wear my hair down at all times....& I just cant do that to my real hair because It will end my journey as quick as I started it. Not to mention I started my hair journey last august, me and him just got together in early may! & yes I understand it is just hair but however im on a journey to having healthy hair...& I cant just give that up! Plus he has really long dreds and doesnt include me in his hair process. lol...like he wants to cut his dreads now. & he hasnt once discussed it with me...

but the point of it all is I want to explain to him the journey...like I was telling him my hair regimen of how I wash my hair every week and he almost died! He was like "YOU CANT DO THAT! thats bad for your hair!" ....he is so caught up on the things he has heard through out his life from black women who knew nothing about hair! Then I was telling him about the JUICE and he was like all of those chemicals are bad for your hair. ...I wish there was a book that explain it to men in an elementary type way. :)
Click to expand...
\


I always wanted to work at hooters

:blondboob:blondboob:blondboob
 
What Soulie said :yep:

My SO used to be perplexed, bewildered, con-fuddled, you name it! I showed him my progress pics and he kept quiet. I use the "You want me to have long hair, don't you?" card on him and that usually works. Now all he says is "I can't wait for you to reach WL" :lachen:
 
*CherryPie* said:
At this point, the HAIR wouldn't be my problem, Him hanging the phone up on me would....and a 2 month boyfriend too?!:nono::lachen:
Click to expand...

Mmm - you are right.

OP, you say he has loc's and is getting all 'naturalistic' on you yet he met you with a weave and now he hates it so much he is putting the phone down on you.

Need to think about what is in his mind. :sad:
 
My DH says do whatever makes me happy. He didn't trip about me transitioning, and he helped me bc. Now, as to the amount of time I spend on this forum he couldn't quite understand that. I had to break it down to him. I said "you know how much you love your motorcycle and you spend hours online looking up things and reading about it?" He gave a head-nod. I said "well that's exactly how I feel about my hair". Him: *blink* "Ohhhhh, I've got you, I've got you". Love that man.
 
lol my boyfriend claims to hate weaves to but when I wear half wigs, he doesn't know its a wig unless he saw me put them on or I tell him. He also hates braids, but when I braided my hair last year, he said I looked cute.

Try a half wig that you could pull off as yours and see what he says.

I dont know if how ever many times you explain it to him, he'll ever get it. My brother and bf don't get it but they don't care on way or another. Or try to compromise. Protective style during the week and wear it out on the weekend. You don't need heat for it to look cute and if you're serious about this guy, he should be able to enjoy your hair just like you should. 2 days out the week shouldn't hurt much.

ETA: Just read the replies. Since you have to wear your hair down for work, you can wig it for work instead of the sew in. This is all if you actually care about this guys opinion. I honestly wouldn't care what he thinks after 2 months. I've been with mine for 3 years and I still half care lol
 
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Bttrfly70 said:
My SO told me that weaves are unacceptable to him.......I told him not to ever get one, but if that it the route I decide to go one day that is my decision. We all have our own personal reasons for doing what we do to our hair and in the long run we have to be happy with it. If you are committed to your HHJ and he is committed to you he will come to terms with it and understand that it is important to you. I am betting he will come around.:yep:
Click to expand...

loooove this!!
 
A new boyfriend can be tough especially if he's a little know-it-all as far as hair is concerned. But girl, a long-term bf who adores you usually gets over it especially after they see your progress. My dh hated natural hair but grew to love mine and was upset the last time I relaxed. He is now my biggest hair fan. Ultimately you have to do what's best for you and throw in a compromise here and there. When I told dh I was going natural he just asked that I not bc too soon. He didn't want me to have a twa again--I didn't want one either though and transitioned for a year. Some compromise is okay with a dh or a serious bf but a new bf who met you with a weave? I wouldn't be bothered compromising or over-explaining either for that matter.
 
hopeful said:
A new boyfriend can be tough especially if he's a little know-it-all as far as hair is concerned. But girl, a long-term bf who adores you usually gets over it especially after they see your progress. My dh hated natural hair but grew to love mine and was upset the last time I relaxed. He is now my biggest hair fan. Ultimately you have to do what's best for you and throw in a compromise here and there. When I told dh I was going natural he just asked that I not bc too soon. He didn't want me to have a twa again--I didn't want one either though and transitioned for a year. Some compromise is okay with a dh or a serious bf but a new bf who met you with a weave? I wouldn't be bothered compromising or over-explaining either for that matter.
Click to expand...

I love how you put this:yep:

DBF and I have been together for a while... If had said something to me in the beginning..I would have been like boy bye!:lachen: However as a hooters girl with the prerequisite fluffy hair, there is no way you can style and keep your hair... This isn't purely a vanity thing but a occupational one. Eh I retract my earlier statement... Sorry But the BF just needs to get over it!! :rolleyes:
 
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