Getting Back w/ Your Ex

[PaleoChick]

Not so far as a gasoline soaked thong in hell (although I completely understand), but it's over when it's over. I have NO desire to get back with an ex under ANY circumstances. It's just blocking Mr. Right for Me from my path to just hop back into bed/life/energies with Mr. What the Hell was I thinking.

 

[Miss AJ]

Depends on the reason for the first break up, but in my situation....my ex doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting back with me. He lost all my trust and honestly there is nothing he could do to gain it back and even if by some miniscule miracle he DID gain it back, I'd always think of how horribly he treated me before and I'd either resent him or try to get back at him and I don't need to be in a relationship like that.

 

[wofford16]

Well as luck would have it my Ex-Husband and I are getting remarried in June of this year so I guess that makes my answer Yes.

Not every situation will be the same and speaking from personal experience the first step for us was getting all of the negative up front and on the table and figure out if you can deal with it, if not then we move on.

Even through a divorce it never got ugly with us and we actually lost contact for 7 whole years so getting back together was like dating a new person for the first time.

I guess as the saying goes "To each their own"

 

[SistaSista]

I used to think that I would NEVER get back with someone after it was over. What's the point in going backwards.

But I've since learned that you have to keep an open mind. I got back with my first bf years after we dated initially. We first dated in high school broke up but remained good friends throughout the years. We got back together when I was 23 and we ended up married happily ever after. Don't limit yourself but don't be stupid. Always keep in mind the reason why you broke up when making a decision to get back together.

 

[thetall1]

post deleted

 

[Whimsy]

This time last year I would have said hell to the no.
But I recently got back together with my ex mainly because he made the necessary changes that needed to be made. So it's like we're issue free now.

I voted for some people deserve a 2nd chance. But i feel like if there's serious trust issues, cheating, abuse etc.. then the person definitely doesn't deserve a 2nd chance no matter how long it's been.

i forgot about this thread! glad to still see it around.

update: we're happily married now. still issue free and just...happy. it really depends on the reasons you and he are exes.

 

[JollyGal]

To each their own but I'm voting no.
I've been tempted to do so in the past but I always remember this quote from Gavin De Beck

"Once a victim, twice a volunteer".

When I invite an ex back into my life I am ready to accept that he may be a repeat offender and I have no one to blame but myself.

I'm sorry if that sounds dramatic but my exes are no longer in my life for a reason. Why would I want to punish myself by letting them back in? There are plenty more fish in the sea

 

[LiftedUp]

It depends on why you broke up. Cheating vs moving far away will influence the decision differently.

Answering the question though, I got back with an ex after he cheated. He didn't cheat again but we didn't last. I happy that we tried again at it because it taught me that I need to value myself way more. So now, if we done, we done.

 

[diadall]

It depends on the situation.

I would not go back after cheating or abuse of any kind.
I would consider if it was because of distance, youth, job, college or if we just grew apart.

There is no reason to think a second chance is out of the question if you have grown up a bit and see that things and priorities are different.

Also, sometimes it takes being apart to see that you belong together.

 

[misskris816]

For the most part, I don't think revisiting the past is ever a good idea. However, I got back together with my ex-boyfriend from college whom I dated for a few years. It turned out to be a mistake from the beginning, but I also needed to give it one last try so I could move on with my life and never have to wonder "what if" I had tried once more.

I think it depends on the situation.

 

[CurlyMoo]

No, can't stand lazy lovers!

 

[Incognitus]

Well as luck would have it my Ex-Husband and I are getting remarried in June of this year so I guess that makes my answer Yes.

Not every situation will be the same and speaking from personal experience the first step for us was getting all of the negative up front and on the table and figure out if you can deal with it, if not then we move on.

Even through a divorce it never got ugly with us and we actually lost contact for 7 whole years so getting back together was like dating a new person for the first time.

I guess as the saying goes "To each their own"

It's been a year since you re-married (I'm assuming). Care to share an update?