caribeandiva
Human being
I just finished listening to the audio book. It's an awesome book not just about dating but being more outgoing in general. Anyone else read it?
Crystalicequeen123 yay! I'm glad you're still reading it. What shocked me the most about his book is when he said that if a guy is very attracted to you then it's even harder for them to approach you. So they'd rather chat up a girl they're not even attracted to because it's easier and they have nothing to lose there. That is exactly opposite of what I understand The Rules teaches.
@Crystalicequeen123 yay! I'm glad you're still reading it. What shocked me the most about his book is when he said that if a guy is very attracted to you then it's even harder for them to approach you. So they'd rather chat up a girl they're not even attracted to because it's easier and they have nothing to lose there. That is exactly opposite of what I understand The Rules teaches.
@cutiebe2 Girl, then you should really check this book out! Download a sample of it on your digital reader, or go to a bookstore and skim through the first couple of chapters...trust me, you will be HOOKED!I need to read it because I think being outgoing and speaking with others is my main problem.
Matt inspired me to get my current boo. I crushed on my bf from the side for about 6 months. Finally decided to walk up to him and asked him a question to be friendly. He asked me out a week later. We've been together for almost 2 years now.
So it works ladies! If you see a guy you find a attractive go talk to him. If he's interested, he'll take it from there.
Matt inspired me to get my current boo. I crushed on my bf from the side for about 6 months. Finally decided to walk up to him and asked him a question to be friendly. He asked me out a week later. We've been together for almost 2 years now.
So it works ladies! If you see a guy you find a attractive go talk to him. If he's interested, he'll take it from there.
bubbles12345
THANK You for your personal experience! This gives me hope!!
I'm so tired of "waiting" and hoping for the guy to make a move. Meanwhile...other women are snagging the guy I'm crushing on left and right. erplexed
If there's ONE thing this book has taught me, it's that you have to give a guy the GREEN LIGHT if you're interested! Let HIM be the one to decide whether or not he's interested and wants to pursue. But to not even TRY???? erplexed
I'm so through with being passive and just allowing ANY Tom Dick and Harry step to me. I'm tired of only my "guy friends" showing an interest in me (because I'm NATURALLY myself and flirty around them). I'm being more proactive this year!
What shocked me the most about his book is when he said that if a guy is very attracted to you then it's even harder for them to approach you. So they'd rather chat up a girl they're not even attracted to because it's easier and they have nothing to lose there. That is exactly opposite of what I understand The Rules teaches.
Matt inspired me to get my current boo. I crushed on my bf from the side for about 6 months. Finally decided to walk up to him and asked him a question to be friendly. He asked me out a week later. We've been together for almost 2 years now.
So it works ladies! If you see a guy you find a attractive go talk to him. If he's interested, he'll take it from there.
I believe you. Back in the 6th grade my teacher (white woman) told me to get a guy you're interested in, walk up to him and ask a question or for help with something. She randomly told me this and I was pretty shy and quiet growing up so I guess she figured I would need that advice one day. I have never done this because I always believed in waiting for a guy to approach me. I'm starting to think I should experiment with her advice lol. There must be a reason it stuck with me this long.
With the last two guys I liked, all I had to do was ask them or question and we got to talking and I got to know them.
So I'm going to need to buy this book.
Ok now I'm curious. It's as good as wmlb? Looks like I need this in my life.
ScorpioBeauty09 Yay! You will NOT be disappointed! I felt like he was giving me the inside scoop on men or something lol.@Crystalicequeen123 Just bought it on Kindle. Just from reading a few pages I absolutely LOVE it!!!
I went to see him speak at one of his seminars over a year ago and I have his book, AND I had signed up for his online program. Yep, at the time, I was very willing to be open to trying a new approach and putting focused energy into being open to relationships.
Hussey's tips are great and spot on. I went to his event, took copious notes, and that evening went on a second date with my current boyfriend(we've been together for over a year now). I made an effort to try to follow his tips on the date like:
1)how and where to touch him to show interest and openness(knee, side of stomach, hand, etc)
2) don't allow him to say no. For example: say, "let's go grab dinner after the movie." Instead of, "do you want to grab dinner after this?"
3) engage. Ask him why, not what. "What do you like best about your job?" Instead of, "how long have you been at your job?"
Do I think Hussey's tips are the reason why I have a boyfriend? Maybe not exactly since my boyfriend confessed to having a huge crush on me before I asked him out in the first place.... Which was revealed during our second date. BUT his tips helped me to open up and they facilitated a deeper connection earlier, and gave me courage to go out on a limb!
I may not have asked him out in the first place had I not read the book. I would have never assumed that a guy who was into me would prolong asking me out because it's easier to talk to someone he's not interested in. But it makes total sense.
OMgoodness, i innocently ask guys questions and for help all the time, then i try to shut down the conversation when i see they are about to ask me if i am married or dating. But I never say a word to a man i am attracted to.
hmm I never put 2 and 2 together, duuuh
me to a T. I'm very outgoing but being a Rules girl I never gave any men I found attractive any signs that I might like them (never talk to a man first, remember?). When those guys would stare at me from afar and not approach, I would assume they weren't interested. I never gave any second thoughts to why my guy friends or guys I ask questions to or for help would end up flirting with me and asking me out. I didn't realize that I was unknowingly giving those guys I talked to first the green light to talk/flirt with me.WOW! Thanks for your experience LivingDol1! Another success story lol!
I'm telling you, Matthew Hussey's book is the "relationship manual" for shy girls like myself lol.... I won't even say that it's JUST for shyer women, it's more accurate to say that this book is probably good for ALL women to read, but it's ESPECIALLY good for women who feel shy around guys they are interested in, OR women who feel like ALL men just see a woman across the room and immediately go up to her and ask her for her number or for a date...
gn1g GIRL YESS!!! This was the biggest EPIPHANY that I had while reading this book!!! Here I am, treating guys that I'm NOT interested in like I'm interested (being open, friendly, laughing, smiling, easy-going, etc.), but the guys that I actually had a CRUSH on, I would treat them like a guy I wasn't even into at times (pretending like I didn't see him, being all nervous around him in his presence, waiting for HIM to "make the move", ignoring him, never asking him too many questions,etc)! And then I would always wonder why my guy FRIENDS and guys that I had ZERO interest in were always interested in me, and the ones that I DID like never seemed to have an interest. Ummm...DUHHHHHH!!!!
It ALLL makes sense now lol!!!
me to a T. I'm very outgoing but being a Rules girl I never gave any men I found attractive any signs that I might like them (never talk to a man first, remember?). When those guys would stare at me from afar and not approach, I would assume they weren't interested. I never gave any second thoughts to why my guy friends or guys I ask questions to or for help would end up flirting with me and asking me out. I didn't realize that I was unknowingly giving those guys I talked to first the green light to talk/flirt with me.
I went to see him speak at one of his seminars over a year ago and I have his book, AND I had signed up for his online program. Yep, at the time, I was very willing to be open to trying a new approach and putting focused energy into being open to relationships. Hussey's tips are great and spot on. I went to his event, took copious notes, and that evening went on a second date with my current boyfriend(we've been together for over a year now). I made an effort to try to follow his tips on the date like: 1)how and where to touch him to show interest and openness(knee, side of stomach, hand, etc) 2) don't allow him to say no. For example: say, "let's go grab dinner after the movie." Instead of, "do you want to grab dinner after this?" 3) engage. Ask him why, not what. "What do you like best about your job?" Instead of, "how long have you been at your job?" Do I think Hussey's tips are the reason why I have a boyfriend? Maybe not exactly since my boyfriend confessed to having a huge crush on me before I asked him out in the first place.... Which was revealed during our second date. BUT his tips helped me to open up and they facilitated a deeper connection earlier, and gave me courage to go out on a limb! I may not have asked him out in the first place had I not read the book. I would have never assumed that a guy who was into me would prolong asking me out because it's easier to talk to someone he's not interested in. But it makes total sense.
Your post (and Hussey's book) makes me want to reach out to a guy I met quite randomly and who asked for my number and seemed intrigued to talk to me more but never called.
@Crystalicequeen123
He asked me for mine and we exchanged. We even sent texts to each other shortly afterward just to say we enjoyed meeting each other. We met in March so it's been a couple months. My initial thought was if he wanted to call me he would, no matter what but he knew I was in law school and he even said "oh so you're pretty busy huh?" So after reading Hussey's book I'm thinking maybe he was worried I'd turn him down and use the excuse that I was busy. I don't know.
The way I see it, it's rare that I meet someone and have a connection like we did and he said the same. That's why he asked me for my number. I'd rather get in contact and see what happens even if it goes nowhere because at least then I'd know and I won't wonder.
And the way I'd do it, I would call and say let's go out. I'd just make conversation because that's how it started. We have similar interests. I'd make the move but the rest would be up to him lol.
Update: I texted him. Nothing too forward, just asked how he was and if he's watching the World Cup since we talked about it during our conversation. It's been a few hours and haven't heard back and don't think I will. He's had more than enough time. So I deleted his number from my contact moreso so that I'm not tempted to text him again. That's that. Movin on. But at least now I know and won't have to wonder.
@ScorpioLove Yea girl definitely get it if you get a chance. One of the things that I like about his book is that it advocates being sociable with EVERYONE! Not just men! SO it makes you a more engaging person down the line, so when you DO meet that special guy, he won't be intimidating to you.I think I need this book...
I need to learn the green light moves. Im sociable to everyone but guys I like usually so im trying to change that, starting with my current crush.
Off to buy the book