Get the guy book by Matthew Hussey. Let's discuss.

[caribeandiva]

I just finished listening to the audio book. It's an awesome book not just about dating but being more outgoing in general. Anyone else read it?

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

caribeandiva

Omg YAAAAAS!!! I have been wanting to make a thread about his book for a while now! I LOVE Matthew Hussey, and I love his book!

It was definitely an eye opener for me.....NOT because there was a ton of new information (actually, most of his advice I've seen mentioned in other books before), but more so because of the WAY he explained step by step the secrets to attraction, relationships, and attracting guys. OMG what an eye opener!

I haven't finished it all yet, but I'm almost done. I love how it focuses on being more open and outgoing around others in general as well.

I could discuss this book all day lol

 

[caribeandiva]

Crystalicequeen123 yay! I'm glad you're still reading it. What shocked me the most about his book is when he said that if a guy is very attracted to you then it's even harder for them to approach you. So they'd rather chat up a girl they're not even attracted to because it's easier and they have nothing to lose there. That is exactly opposite of what I understand The Rules teaches.

 

[Layluh]

Crystalicequeen123 yay! I'm glad you're still reading it. What shocked me the most about his book is when he said that if a guy is very attracted to you then it's even harder for them to approach you. So they'd rather chat up a girl they're not even attracted to because it's easier and they have nothing to lose there. That is exactly opposite of what I understand The Rules teaches.

Men who take the easy way out are the exact kind of guys I would avoid. No thank you.

 

[gn1g]

haven't read it, but hanging around for snippets.

 

[cutiebe2]

I need to read it because I think being outgoing and speaking with others is my main problem.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Here's what the book looks like, for those of you who are interested in checking it out....

Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve

I downloaded it on my Kindle, and I'm SOOOO glad that I did! It is right up there with the book WMLB....meaning, it should be on the shelves of every woman who is dating or wanting to get into a relationship. I feel THAT great about it lol.

It has a TON of reviews on Amazon.com!

@Crystalicequeen123 yay! I'm glad you're still reading it. What shocked me the most about his book is when he said that if a guy is very attracted to you then it's even harder for them to approach you. So they'd rather chat up a girl they're not even attracted to because it's easier and they have nothing to lose there. That is exactly opposite of what I understand The Rules teaches.

@caribeandiva

YES!!! I remember reading that! It definitely made some sense. I also notice that SOMETIMES men will talk to the "friend" of the girl that they're really interested in, and will try to get in good with her first in order to get closer to the girl they're actually attracted to. I've seen this happen IRL before.


You know what else I found REALLY interesting an an EYE-opener?? The chapter on "Changing Your Intent"!!! OMG..... #AHAMOMENT

That's not the name of the chapter lol, but inside of one of those chapters is the portion where he describes the difference between asking a stranger for the time (for example), and "dropping your handkerchief" in front of a guy that you're actually interested in. You just have to change your INTENT!

Omg....when I read that chapter it was like a light bulb went OFF in my head you hear me??

I need to read it because I think being outgoing and speaking with others is my main problem.

@cutiebe2 Girl, then you should really check this book out! Download a sample of it on your digital reader, or go to a bookstore and skim through the first couple of chapters...trust me, you will be HOOKED!

This book has TOTALLY transformed the way I view men (especially those that I'm interested in) , and it's teaching me how to be more "engaging" with people in general while letting my feminine radiance and "charm" shine through.

To be honest, this is the ONLY difference between women who seem to pull a lot of men, and women who tend to sit on the sidelines waiting for a guy to approach them. Plus, I'm kind of shy in the guy department when it comes to guys I'm actually attracted to lol, so this book has been a God-send for me .

I realized this year that the OLD way of doing things wasn't working for me, and I was always getting guys I WASN'T interested in approaching me lol. But NOW?? I'm doing things differently, and I already notice a huge change!

Even if nothing "romantic" develops from using his tips, at least right now I'm making a lot more "connections" with people, and I FEEL different around guys these days. It feels good to know that I have the power to do the "choosing" lol.

Let's just say, I feel a LOT more confident now that I can attract a guy that I'm personally curious about/interested in.

 

[bubbles12345]

Matt inspired me to get my current boo. I crushed on my bf from the side for about 6 months. Finally decided to walk up to him and asked him a question to be friendly. He asked me out a week later. We've been together for almost 2 years now.

So it works ladies! If you see a guy you find a attractive go talk to him. If he's interested, he'll take it from there.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Matt inspired me to get my current boo. I crushed on my bf from the side for about 6 months. Finally decided to walk up to him and asked him a question to be friendly. He asked me out a week later. We've been together for almost 2 years now.

So it works ladies! If you see a guy you find a attractive go talk to him. If he's interested, he'll take it from there.

bubbles12345

THANK You for your personal experience! This gives me hope!!

I'm so tired of "waiting" and hoping for the guy to make a move. Meanwhile...other women are snagging the guy I'm crushing on left and right. erplexed

If there's ONE thing this book has taught me, it's that you have to give a guy the GREEN LIGHT if you're interested! Let HIM be the one to decide whether or not he's interested and wants to pursue. But to not even TRY???? erplexed

I'm so through with being passive and just allowing ANY Tom Dick and Harry step to me. I'm tired of only my "guy friends" showing an interest in me (because I'm NATURALLY myself and flirty around them). I'm being more proactive this year!

 

[TrulyBlessed]

Matt inspired me to get my current boo. I crushed on my bf from the side for about 6 months. Finally decided to walk up to him and asked him a question to be friendly. He asked me out a week later. We've been together for almost 2 years now.

So it works ladies! If you see a guy you find a attractive go talk to him. If he's interested, he'll take it from there.

I believe you. Back in the 6th grade my teacher (white woman) told me to get a guy you're interested in, walk up to him and ask a question or for help with something. She randomly told me this and I was pretty shy and quiet growing up so I guess she figured I would need that advice one day. I have never done this because I always believed in waiting for a guy to approach me. I'm starting to think I should experiment with her advice lol. There must be a reason it stuck with me this long.

 

[TrulyBlessed]

bubbles12345

THANK You for your personal experience! This gives me hope!!

I'm so tired of "waiting" and hoping for the guy to make a move. Meanwhile...other women are snagging the guy I'm crushing on left and right. erplexed

If there's ONE thing this book has taught me, it's that you have to give a guy the GREEN LIGHT if you're interested! Let HIM be the one to decide whether or not he's interested and wants to pursue. But to not even TRY???? erplexed

I'm so through with being passive and just allowing ANY Tom Dick and Harry step to me. I'm tired of only my "guy friends" showing an interest in me (because I'm NATURALLY myself and flirty around them). I'm being more proactive this year!

Yes! Oh how I can relate, especially guy friends, ugh. I'm buying this book today!

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

What shocked me the most about his book is when he said that if a guy is very attracted to you then it's even harder for them to approach you. So they'd rather chat up a girl they're not even attracted to because it's easier and they have nothing to lose there. That is exactly opposite of what I understand The Rules teaches.

OMG that actually makes a lot of sense. My male roommate (who crushed on me) tried to tell me that when we lived together but I was like "yeah right!" But I guess it's true.

Matt inspired me to get my current boo. I crushed on my bf from the side for about 6 months. Finally decided to walk up to him and asked him a question to be friendly. He asked me out a week later. We've been together for almost 2 years now.

So it works ladies! If you see a guy you find a attractive go talk to him. If he's interested, he'll take it from there.

With the last two guys I liked, all I had to do was ask them a question and we got to talking and I got to know them.

So I'm going to need to buy this book.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I believe you. Back in the 6th grade my teacher (white woman) told me to get a guy you're interested in, walk up to him and ask a question or for help with something. She randomly told me this and I was pretty shy and quiet growing up so I guess she figured I would need that advice one day. I have never done this because I always believed in waiting for a guy to approach me. I'm starting to think I should experiment with her advice lol. There must be a reason it stuck with me this long.

I could have written this whole post (especially the part in purple) lol! I think that subconsciously, a lot of women of other races know that in order to get the guy that THEY want, they have to give out SOME signs. I think BW are the main ones who are told to pray, wait on God, or a man will drop in your lap, etc.

A woman can attract a man by doing NOTHING at all, but if it's a guy that YOU want to get to know better? I say there's nothing wrong with "dropping your handkerchief" every once in a while.

Even Ruth (in the bible) took some initiative w/Boaz and put herself in his line of vision lol

With the last two guys I liked, all I had to do was ask them or question and we got to talking and I got to know them.

So I'm going to need to buy this book.

Girl.... BUY IT!! I don't think you'll be disappointed!

I think we should start a "Get the Guy Bootcamp" on this thread and come back and share our "experiences" with trying out this method lol.

I say if something hasn't been working for years, there's nothing wrong with changing things up a little bit. Even if Matthew's method DOESN'T work, at least it's no harm, no foul. If anything, his book teaches about being more "aware" of people in general, more sociable, and just being overall "magnetic" to a guy by subtly keeping him on his toes lol.

 

[Layluh]

Ok now I'm curious. It's as good as wmlb? Looks like I need this in my life.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Crystalicequeen123 Just bought it on Kindle. Just from reading a few pages I absolutely LOVE it!!!

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Ok now I'm curious. It's as good as wmlb? Looks like I need this in my life.

Layluh Girl YES! It is! Plus, it's written by a MAN. I LOVE WMLB, but her book seemed to deal more w/women who are sort of already IN a relationship w/a man and keeping him on his toes, not losing yourself, having self-respect, etc.

But MATTHEW's book takes you from meeting, catching the guy, to KEEPING the guy. It really is a good read. One of the few relationship books written by a man that didn't seem to blame women for being single, or make the woman feel like crap lol. Matthew has a very nice, and gentle way of putting things.

He also has videos on Youtube as well But honestly, his BOOK is better than any of his videos imo.

@Crystalicequeen123 Just bought it on Kindle. Just from reading a few pages I absolutely LOVE it!!!

ScorpioBeauty09 Yay! You will NOT be disappointed! I felt like he was giving me the inside scoop on men or something lol.


Let me know what you think about it! I was hooked from the first chapter lol.

 

[londontresses]

I like his YouTube videos. I might check this out...

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Crystalicequeen123 I'm crazy-busy these days but I was reading this yesterday on every break I had. I LOVE it! It's better than any other book I read on getting a man lol. Much of what Matthew Hussey says should be common sense (except Chapter 4) but it's the way he says it that is so appealing. It reminds me of what my mom used to say about choosing a man but making him think he chose you lol.

WMLB, yeah I agree with your analysis on that book. Steve Harvey's book TLAM is useful and Matthew Hussey does make references to men's desire to provide and protect but I felt like Steve Harvey was more "this is how men are... now deal." Matthew Hussey's tone is much more empowering and encouraging.

 

[LivingDol1]

I went to see him speak at one of his seminars over a year ago and I have his book, AND I had signed up for his online program. Yep, at the time, I was very willing to be open to trying a new approach and putting focused energy into being open to relationships.

Hussey's tips are great and spot on. I went to his event, took copious notes, and that evening went on a second date with my current boyfriend(we've been together for over a year now). I made an effort to try to follow his tips on the date like:

1)how and where to touch him to show interest and openness(knee, side of stomach, hand, etc)
2) don't allow him to say no. For example: say, "let's go grab dinner after the movie." Instead of, "do you want to grab dinner after this?"
3) engage. Ask him why, not what. "What do you like best about your job?" Instead of, "how long have you been at your job?"

Do I think Hussey's tips are the reason why I have a boyfriend? Maybe not exactly since my boyfriend confessed to having a huge crush on me before I asked him out in the first place.... Which was revealed during our second date. BUT his tips helped me to open up and they facilitated a deeper connection earlier, and gave me courage to go out on a limb!

I may not have asked him out in the first place had I not read the book. I would have never assumed that a guy who was into me would prolong asking me out because it's easier to talk to someone he's not interested in. But it makes total sense.

 

[gn1g]

OMgoodness, i innocently ask guys questions and for help all the time, then i try to shut down the conversation when i see they are about to ask me if i am married or dating. But I never say a word to a man i am attracted to.

hmm I never put 2 and 2 together, duuuh

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I went to see him speak at one of his seminars over a year ago and I have his book, AND I had signed up for his online program. Yep, at the time, I was very willing to be open to trying a new approach and putting focused energy into being open to relationships.

Hussey's tips are great and spot on. I went to his event, took copious notes, and that evening went on a second date with my current boyfriend(we've been together for over a year now). I made an effort to try to follow his tips on the date like:

1)how and where to touch him to show interest and openness(knee, side of stomach, hand, etc)
2) don't allow him to say no. For example: say, "let's go grab dinner after the movie." Instead of, "do you want to grab dinner after this?"
3) engage. Ask him why, not what. "What do you like best about your job?" Instead of, "how long have you been at your job?"

Do I think Hussey's tips are the reason why I have a boyfriend? Maybe not exactly since my boyfriend confessed to having a huge crush on me before I asked him out in the first place.... Which was revealed during our second date. BUT his tips helped me to open up and they facilitated a deeper connection earlier, and gave me courage to go out on a limb!

I may not have asked him out in the first place had I not read the book. I would have never assumed that a guy who was into me would prolong asking me out because it's easier to talk to someone he's not interested in. But it makes total sense.

WOW! Thanks for your experience LivingDol1! Another success story lol!

I'm telling you, Matthew Hussey's book is the "relationship manual" for shy girls like myself lol.... I won't even say that it's JUST for shyer women, it's more accurate to say that this book is probably good for ALL women to read, but it's ESPECIALLY good for women who feel shy around guys they are interested in, OR women who feel like ALL men just see a woman across the room and immediately go up to her and ask her for her number or for a date...

OMgoodness, i innocently ask guys questions and for help all the time, then i try to shut down the conversation when i see they are about to ask me if i am married or dating. But I never say a word to a man i am attracted to.

hmm I never put 2 and 2 together, duuuh

gn1g GIRL YESS!!! This was the biggest EPIPHANY that I had while reading this book!!! Here I am, treating guys that I'm NOT interested in like I'm interested (being open, friendly, laughing, smiling, easy-going, etc.), but the guys that I actually had a CRUSH on, I would treat them like a guy I wasn't even into at times (pretending like I didn't see him, being all nervous around him in his presence, waiting for HIM to "make the move", ignoring him, never asking him too many questions,etc)! And then I would always wonder why my guy FRIENDS and guys that I had ZERO interest in were always interested in me, and the ones that I DID like never seemed to have an interest. Ummm...DUHHHHHH!!!!

It ALLL makes sense now lol!!!

 

[MissJ]

I'm almost done reading this book. It provides good insight.

 

[caribeandiva]

WOW! Thanks for your experience LivingDol1! Another success story lol!

I'm telling you, Matthew Hussey's book is the "relationship manual" for shy girls like myself lol.... I won't even say that it's JUST for shyer women, it's more accurate to say that this book is probably good for ALL women to read, but it's ESPECIALLY good for women who feel shy around guys they are interested in, OR women who feel like ALL men just see a woman across the room and immediately go up to her and ask her for her number or for a date...







gn1g GIRL YESS!!! This was the biggest EPIPHANY that I had while reading this book!!! Here I am, treating guys that I'm NOT interested in like I'm interested (being open, friendly, laughing, smiling, easy-going, etc.), but the guys that I actually had a CRUSH on, I would treat them like a guy I wasn't even into at times (pretending like I didn't see him, being all nervous around him in his presence, waiting for HIM to "make the move", ignoring him, never asking him too many questions,etc)! And then I would always wonder why my guy FRIENDS and guys that I had ZERO interest in were always interested in me, and the ones that I DID like never seemed to have an interest. Ummm...DUHHHHHH!!!!

It ALLL makes sense now lol!!!

me to a T. I'm very outgoing but being a Rules girl I never gave any men I found attractive any signs that I might like them (never talk to a man first, remember?). When those guys would stare at me from afar and not approach, I would assume they weren't interested. I never gave any second thoughts to why my guy friends or guys I ask questions to or for help would end up flirting with me and asking me out. I didn't realize that I was unknowingly giving those guys I talked to first the green light to talk/flirt with me.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

me to a T. I'm very outgoing but being a Rules girl I never gave any men I found attractive any signs that I might like them (never talk to a man first, remember?). When those guys would stare at me from afar and not approach, I would assume they weren't interested. I never gave any second thoughts to why my guy friends or guys I ask questions to or for help would end up flirting with me and asking me out. I didn't realize that I was unknowingly giving those guys I talked to first the green light to talk/flirt with me.

BINGO!!!!!

That's why I eventually said in my other thread that I created about "Rules Girls" (Ironically lol ) that sometimes the "Rules" can be COUNTER INTUITIVE if you follow them to the LETTER. I wholeheartedly agree with having a full life, NOT chasing a guy down, and making sure HE makes most of the moves, but imo in order for a guy to chase you, he has to know that you would be OPEN to his pursuit/chase....

The only guys who I have seen simply start pursuing ME WITHOUT any "green lights" on his part have been those who either 1) hit on anything walking with a skirt because they figure they have NOTHING to lose (the "hey baby's" cat calling down the street 2) don't have any options so they hit on anything (they aren't discerning in other words) 3) they are major players and are all about "the numbers game".

I wouldn't want any of those guys anyway... When I think back on my previous experiences, Usually, 9 times out of 10 I have inadvertently given a guy the green light in order to pursue me.


I used to unknowingly give my guy friends the "green light" also, and would wonder why they would end up liking me lol. NOW it all makes sense!

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

I went to see him speak at one of his seminars over a year ago and I have his book, AND I had signed up for his online program. Yep, at the time, I was very willing to be open to trying a new approach and putting focused energy into being open to relationships. Hussey's tips are great and spot on. I went to his event, took copious notes, and that evening went on a second date with my current boyfriend(we've been together for over a year now). I made an effort to try to follow his tips on the date like: 1)how and where to touch him to show interest and openness(knee, side of stomach, hand, etc) 2) don't allow him to say no. For example: say, "let's go grab dinner after the movie." Instead of, "do you want to grab dinner after this?" 3) engage. Ask him why, not what. "What do you like best about your job?" Instead of, "how long have you been at your job?" Do I think Hussey's tips are the reason why I have a boyfriend? Maybe not exactly since my boyfriend confessed to having a huge crush on me before I asked him out in the first place.... Which was revealed during our second date. BUT his tips helped me to open up and they facilitated a deeper connection earlier, and gave me courage to go out on a limb! I may not have asked him out in the first place had I not read the book. I would have never assumed that a guy who was into me would prolong asking me out because it's easier to talk to someone he's not interested in. But it makes total sense.

Your post (and Hussey's book) makes me want to reach out to a guy I met quite randomly and who asked for my number and seemed intrigued to talk to me more but never called.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Your post (and Hussey's book) makes me want to reach out to a guy I met quite randomly and who asked for my number and seemed intrigued to talk to me more but never called.

@ScorpioBeauty09 Did he give you his number? Or did he just get yours?

How long has it been since you met him? That can make a BIG difference in determining what you should do (if anything) next....





Here's a question: Okay, so I pretty much am gung-ho for everything Matthew suggests in his book. But the ONLY thing that I find that I just don't think I could EVER bring myself to do is to initiate GIVING a guy my number... I like the technique of making it "easy" for him to ask for your number, but for me to just unsolicitedly (not even a word I know ) just GIVE a guy my number saying: "Here you go...call me if you're interested in doing something sometime..." just seems SOOOO forward!!!

Idk... Like, I think a guy may think it ballsy and may LIKE it INITIALLY, but I think in the LONG run, it won't get you a guy for the long-haul. erplexed

Maybe that's just my own fear/perception, but I just feel like if I"m being nice, friendly, laughing at his jokes, giving him "GREEN LIGHTS", etc... then he should have the balls to ask for my number.

I mean sheesh....

I think the ONLY time I would make an exception is if I knew for SURE that the guy is REALLY REALLY shy, and has an interest in me already.

Your thoughts ladies?? Have you ever GIVEN your man your number (UNasked) and it turned out well for you??

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Crystalicequeen123

He asked me for mine and we exchanged. We even sent texts to each other shortly afterward just to say we enjoyed meeting each other. We met in March so it's been a couple months. My initial thought was if he wanted to call me he would, no matter what but he knew I was in law school and he even said "oh so you're pretty busy huh?" So after reading Hussey's book I'm thinking maybe he was worried I'd turn him down and use the excuse that I was busy. I don't know.

The way I see it, it's rare that I meet someone and have a connection like we did and he said the same. That's why he asked me for my number. I'd rather get in contact and see what happens even if it goes nowhere because at least then I'd know and I won't wonder.

And the way I'd do it, I would call and say let's go out. I'd just make conversation because that's how it started. We have similar interests. I'd make the move but the rest would be up to him lol.

Update: I texted him. Nothing too forward, just asked how he was and if he's watching the World Cup since we talked about it during our conversation. It's been a few hours and haven't heard back and don't think I will. He's had more than enough time. So I deleted his number from my contact moreso so that I'm not tempted to text him again. That's that. Movin on. But at least now I know and won't have to wonder.

 

[ScorpioLove]

I think I need this book...
I need to learn the green light moves. Im sociable to everyone but guys I like usually so im trying to change that, starting with my current crush.

Off to buy the book

 

[MizAvalon]

He has a YouTube channel as well. Lots of great, common sense advice.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

@Crystalicequeen123

He asked me for mine and we exchanged. We even sent texts to each other shortly afterward just to say we enjoyed meeting each other. We met in March so it's been a couple months. My initial thought was if he wanted to call me he would, no matter what but he knew I was in law school and he even said "oh so you're pretty busy huh?" So after reading Hussey's book I'm thinking maybe he was worried I'd turn him down and use the excuse that I was busy. I don't know.

The way I see it, it's rare that I meet someone and have a connection like we did and he said the same. That's why he asked me for my number. I'd rather get in contact and see what happens even if it goes nowhere because at least then I'd know and I won't wonder.

And the way I'd do it, I would call and say let's go out. I'd just make conversation because that's how it started. We have similar interests. I'd make the move but the rest would be up to him lol.

Update: I texted him. Nothing too forward, just asked how he was and if he's watching the World Cup since we talked about it during our conversation. It's been a few hours and haven't heard back and don't think I will. He's had more than enough time. So I deleted his number from my contact moreso so that I'm not tempted to text him again. That's that. Movin on. But at least now I know and won't have to wonder.

@ScorpioBeauty09 Awwww.... That's okay girlie. At least now you know. Trust me, that's better than wondering "what if???" 24/7. I think you did the right thing for you in this situation. I think after about a month you can probably safely assume that a guy is probably not going to call unless he knows you fairly well already.

But don't give up! I think Matthew's tips definitely work. And like the "Rules", it's like: "NEXT!!!" Move right on to the NEXT guy. I think what I like so much about Matthew Hussey's book is the fact that I'm now realizing that all women are doing when they send a guy the "Green Light" is giving him an OPPORTUNITY to pursue her (if they wish). You're saying to yourself: "I may be interested in you (with a little coaxing of course lol ), but I don't know too much about you yet....so let me take a closer look to see if you're the right guy for me".

In other words, you might see a guy across the room and think: "Hmmm...he looks interesting....I'm kinda curious about him. Let me 'drop my handkerchief' so that he might come over and chat w/me and I can see if he's even worth my time" lol... So you see, giving green lights is never about PURSUING a guy........No way. You want to give a guy the GREEN LIGHT, NOT help him off the curb and guide him across the street... No, I still think that the GUY should do the pursuing, but there's nothing wrong with letting a guy know that he has the green light to pursue. IMO, it's up to HIM to cross the street to get to me....

So, no harm no foul... That other dude just didn't want to cross the street I suppose lol... He's a non-factor right about now. You just want the guys who are crossing the street in other words lol.

I think I need this book...
I need to learn the green light moves. Im sociable to everyone but guys I like usually so im trying to change that, starting with my current crush.

Off to buy the book

@ScorpioLove Yea girl definitely get it if you get a chance. One of the things that I like about his book is that it advocates being sociable with EVERYONE! Not just men! SO it makes you a more engaging person down the line, so when you DO meet that special guy, he won't be intimidating to you.

Another Tip: Matthew says that when you walk into a party/gathering/club/evening out... Imagine that you are the HOSTESS of that party, and that the people there are your guests. Treat EVERYONE with respect,smile brightly, shake hands with people (probably more so at a party than at a club lol), give everyone a little bit of your undivided attention, and just genuinely talk to a LOT of different people and guys at the party. THEN by that time you would have "warmed up" and when that guy that you have your eye on comes, you won't be "on edge" lol. So many people try to go for the person they have their eye on FIRST...But Matthew says don't do that. Warm UP first....THEN maybe make your way over to him or vice versa. Not only are you less on edge, but the guy you're interested in has probably seen you be sociable and interacting with EVERYONE, so you not only look popular lol, but you won't automatically look like you're coming ON to him if you happen to chat HIM up later on in the evening!