Friends to Lovers..What to expect?

[BeautifulFlower]

I recently started dating an old friend of mine. I am excited and nervous at the same time. I lovee this man soo much as a friend but I am apprehensive about what getting intimate emotionally will be like.

Has anyone dated, dating, or married a friend (he was a friend first)?

Whats the benefits and disadvantages?

 

[Nayeli]

IMO, the biggest advantage is that you know the person outside of a purely romantic context, so that you truly know the heart of the person and vice versa.

You know his communication style/what he's passionate about/his values/how he deals with money/belief system. There's a great benefit to knowing this while friends because you don't let sexual attraction cloud the significance of these things.

And because he's your friend, you genuinely like the individual's person (not just find him sexy etc). So even when you're mad with him, there's still that admiration of and appreciation for his character. The FLOTUS explained it best during an interview with Oprah when she said it's hard to stay mad at someone that you really like.

Can't think of any disadvantages.

 

[Shun34]

IMO, the biggest advantage is that you know the person outside of a purely romantic context, so that you truly know the heart of the person and vice versa.

You know his communication style/what he's passionate about/his values/how he deals with money/belief system. There's a great benefit to knowing this while friends because you don't let sexual attraction cloud the significance of these things.

And because he's your friend, you genuinely like the individual's person (not just find him sexy etc). So even when you're mad with him, there's still that admiration of and appreciation for his character. The FLOTUS explained it best during an interview with Oprah when she said it's hard to stay mad at someone that you really like.

Can't think of any disadvantages.

The above are all advantages. However, there can be some disadvantages depending on why you and your friend were "just friends" in the first place. If there was a lack of sexual/physical attraction on your part or his part, then there may be some issues. These issues can be overcome if you can find some redeeming physical qualities about each other. If the thought of kissing him totally repulses you, it won't work.

 

[Seraphina]

My last SO was friend of mine a couple of years before we started dating and it did not work out. When we were just friends I had no way of knowing how he is in a relationship. I didn't see that he is needy and has a massive sense of sexual entitlement when it comes to his GF. And because of that stuff I don't see him the same anymore and don't care to be his friend again.

But that's just my story and I think that if it's what you want you should go for it. Most of the cases that I've seen this type of relationship it has worked pretty well. I would just advise you to take it slowly so that if a dealbreaker for you comes up you can end it without too much resentment and remain friends.

 

[chebaby]

the guy i am in love with now was my best friend for like 4 years before we even kissed. i loved this man like no other just on a friend level. and now my love for him is much stronger. the problem is that we are never on the same page. when he was ready to be with me i didnt know how to transition from his friend to his girl friend. i think that hurt his ego because now that i want to be with him he seems iffy. sometimes i wish we had never taken it there in the first place.