For Those of You DarkButts Who Have Curly Hair

[Lynnerie]

Wow, OP. These are the kinda thoughts I'd been having for a while. I don't consider myself dark nor light skinned- I'm somewhere in the middle...

Anyhoo, I too used to be one of those idiots that thought only light skinned folks had naturally curly hair and that darker people had that kinky, "nappy" hair. I think it is due to the fact that there was just so much we didn't/don't know about our hair. I mean, I never really thought I'd see Black women with long, long hair that was not a weave- well, where I live that's what I see anyway (these are the women that admit it and their own hair is short, damaged, etc). So the enviroment you are in contributes to the ignorance we see/practice.

NOw with the computer age and the internet we are dispelling myths and "discovering" our hair. It's pretty amazing. Growing up, I always believed my hair was this coarse, kinky unmanageable hair. My mom combed it dry- and hair. I remember chunks of hair being in the brush. When I got old enough, she gave me a relaxer. I always assumed I "needed" one b/c I knew nothing else but that my hair was dreadful....


I mean, I've always believed I had 4b hair. It was just autmoatic. I thought my hair had no curl pattern, etc. But surprise, surprise when I was transitioning and saw these distinct waves/curls. Imagine my astonishment when I did the BC! I didn't know my hair could do that! I didn't know my hair had some spirals- and some pretty big ones too! I didn't know it was best to style/manipulate my hair wet instead of dry.

It's just like with anything... there will always be ignorance. But it is the choice of the individual to remain so or change. I think a lot of us here have. I know I have. No more "good hair/bad hair" comments will come outta my mouth. I am no longer a "doubting Thomas" on this issue. I am a believer! Anything is possible as far as I'm concerned- and that doesn't just apply to hair.

Just imagine if we had computers/internet back in the 80s (or earlier) when we were growing up. And just imagine if we had sites like LHCF and others that have showed us just how beautiful our hair is- be it relaxed or natural! And that it can grow to amazing lengths- regardless of your racial/ethnic mixture or skin tone.

No one would ever have gotten a jerry curl!!

 

[Kurlee]

Wow, OP. These are the kinda thoughts I'd been having for a while. I don't consider myself dark nor light skinned- I'm somewhere in the middle...

Anyhoo, I too used to be one of those idiots that thought only light skinned folks had naturally curly hair and that darker people had that kinky, "nappy" hair. I think it is due to the fact that there was just so much we didn't/don't know about our hair. I mean, I never really thought I'd see Black women with long, long hair that was not a weave- well, where I live that's what I see anyway (these are the women that admit it and their own hair is short, damaged, etc). So the enviroment you are in contributes to the ignorance we see/practice.

NOw with the computer age and the internet we are dispelling myths and "discovering" our hair. It's pretty amazing. Growing up, I always believed my hair was this coarse, kinky unmanageable hair. My mom combed it dry- and hair. I remember chunks of hair being in the brush. When I got old enough, she gave me a relaxer. I always assumed I "needed" one b/c I knew nothing else but that my hair was dreadful....


I mean, I've always believed I had 4b hair. It was just autmoatic. I thought my hair had no curl pattern, etc. But surprise, surprise when I was transitioning and saw these distinct waves/curls. Imagine my astonishment when I did the BC! I didn't know my hair could do that! I didn't know my hair had some spirals- and some pretty big ones too! I didn't know it was best to style/manipulate my hair wet instead of dry.

It's just like with anything... there will always be ignorance. But it is the choice of the individual to remain so or change. I think a lot of us here have. I know I have. No more "good hair/bad hair" comments will come outta my mouth. I am no longer a "doubting Thomas" on this issue. I am a believer! Anything is possible as far as I'm concerned- and that doesn't just apply to hair.

Just imagine if we had computers/internet back in the 80s (or earlier) when we were growing up. And just imagine if we had sites like LHCF and others that have showed us just how beautiful our hair is- be it relaxed or natural! And that it can grow to amazing lengths- regardless of your racial/ethnic mixture or skin tone.

this was exactly my experience! Loved your post

 

[sowhut]

I don't understand why folx were staring Was it staring in a negative sense? Your hair is beautiful, and it doesn't look wild and crazy or outside of the norm to me so i guess I don't get it. You should have asked someone what the heck they were looking at

Thanks for asking...I would like to know as well??

 

[Qetesh]

I get it sometimes as well.
i tan pretty well i would consider my complexion to be a medium dark.

anyway its usually MEN who question me if i got indian in me or whatever. or men will try to spit game and then comment on me having that Good curly hair..... but with all the naturals poppin up in harlem these days i dont really get it to much anymore. i like my hair so i guess i am jus used to whatever comes with it. let it roll u know.

i will comment that my roommate who has 4b z coils comments on my hair like its SOOO much easier to handle then hers which i dont really agree with, but i donno mayb she jus sees the grass as greener. its really in my opinion the same to handle its just a matter of taste because she feels like she cant do wash and go's without looking wild? when my hair looks wild as well when i do it so to each her own

 

[ImFree27]

What an imbecile.
She obviously doesn’t know that being Jamaican does not indicate any particular race in addition to the larger point that race doesn’t predict hair type.
Even worse she said “us blacks” like there aren’t any in Jamaica.
How can people be so damn stupid?

Yup that's the same thing I said

 

[glamazon386]

Yes... people always ask if my wash and go is a twist out or if I had twists and took them out. Especially other naturals. Or people assume that I must be mixed with something since I have "nice" hair. Don't I look black? Or that good hair must run in my family.

My mama is a true nappy head with thick hair (light skinned mind you). I don't have her hair. My brother has her hair. He is a perfect example of a dense, thick 4a/b mixture. Even though most of her family are not nappy heads (Type 3's with a few type 2's in the mix), they still have super thick hair. I do not have their hair either. I take my hair after my father. And most of his family has fine hair which I got honest. I'm not sure about the texture though as most of them are/were relaxed. My hair didn't look like the 1 or 2 that were natural either.

 

[TaraDyan]

I've had guys repeatedly ask me what I'm mixed with and when I say I'm black, they INSIST I'm mixed with something. Then they proceed to ask what ethnicity my parents are and on down the line until they find the "hidden nonblack links". I don't look anything other than black either. I'm like Angel Luv's complexion. I used to hate going deeper into my background bc I felt like it would make them feel they were right. But they were still wrong.

I can totally relate to this part of your post. I've had people act like CSI detectives trying to dissect my gene pool so they can explain away my texture. They ask me about my parents; upon finding out that they're both black, they move on to my grandparents. Upon finding out that they're black too, they move up to the great grandparents. I don't even like to tell them that it's the great grandparent level where other races come into play, because then they're like "See ... I knew you were mixed!" Ummmmmm ... NOT! One other raced great grandparent does not make me mixed.

I also had a light skinned friend in the past get upset with me because she didn't like the texture of her hair and preferred mine (she had uber thick 4Z hair). OK, she liked my hair ... thanks for the compliment. But this girl had the nerve to say that she should have my hair and I should have hers because she was light and mixed (with White) and I was dark skinned. Chick actually said that to me. I gave her the gas face for her jacked up comment, then proceeded to tell her how stupid she sounded. In the end, I just had to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. She showed her true colors with that comment.

 

[likewtr4chklit]

I don't understand why they make such a hulabaloo about curls and coils. If they took time to educate themselves they would know that's how our hair is supposed to be sans chemicals. I can't wait to have curls and coils, I think they're so beautiful!

 

[bravenewgirl87]

You know you got chemicals on your hair gal. Well, at least your best friend says you do

She's actually watching her through her window right now. And she has a present for Ladykpnyc.

 

[kblc06]

I can totally relate to this part of your post. I've had people act like CSI detectives trying to dissect my gene pool so they can explain away my texture. They ask me about my parents; upon finding out that they're both black, they move on to my grandparents. Upon finding out that they're black too, they move up to the great grandparents. I don't even like to tell them that it's the great grandparent level where other races come into play, because then they're like "See ... I knew you were mixed!" Ummmmmm ... NOT! One other raced great grandparent does not make me mixed.

I also had a light skinned friend in the past get upset with me because she didn't like the texture of her hair and preferred mine (she had uber thick 4Z hair). OK, she liked my hair ... thanks for the compliment. But this girl had the nerve to say that she should have my hair and I should have hers because she was light and mixed (with White) and I was dark skinned. Chick actually said that to me. I gave her the gas face for her jacked up comment, then proceeded to tell her how stupid she sounded. In the end, I just had to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. She showed her true colors with that comment.

I've had a similar scenario happen as well . And please don't have an eye color lighter than chocolate brown AND "good hair" + brown skin---people give you the third degree, they'll have every damn part of your body fake if you let them have their way .

There was one dude who works in the cafeteria who was making my sandwich look me up and down, and asked "Is them your real eyes" erplexed da' hell does that mean? He was like, "they look some contacts that this girl I used to know would wear-they're pretty". By this time I was looking like okay thanks ..they're mine (no contacts). Situations like these are very awkward.

 

[anon123]

But this girl had the nerve to say that she should have my hair and I should have hers because she was light and mixed (with White) and I was dark skinned. Chick actually said that to me. I gave her the gas face for her jacked up comment, then proceeded to tell her how stupid she sounded. In the end, I just had to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. She showed her true colors with that comment.

See, why do I read this during lunch time. I nearly spit out my lentils. Wow.

@ brave for that text box kit. No it didn't say "10 minutes to beautiful", too!

Okay, I'm just passing through this thread, I'm dark and have exactly the type of hair that people think I should so I can't really contribute.

 

[bellebebe]

I'm not natural but when I get my hair freshly blown out, I usually wear it down and I get a lot of stares. I don't know if it's because "darker skinned" sistaz aren't suppose to have long shiny bouncy hair but I can feel the staring when I walk through the mall.

 

[zzirvingj]

I don't understand why folx were staring Was it staring in a negative sense? Your hair is beautiful, and it doesn't look wild and crazy or outside of the norm to me so i guess I don't get it. You should have asked someone what the heck they were looking at

Well, I assumed (like the other poster wrote about who also lives in Columbia, SC) that people are not used to seeing naturals "round these parts". So I just chalked it up to that...??

 

[LunadeMiel]

im not dark and i get the same reaction....black people always ask if i texturize or what i used to make it curly when thats just how it is.... alot of people have the idea that all black hair is 4b even if you r lite skin

Same thing here. I consider myself to be in the middle (complexion); people constantly ask me what I do to my hair to make it like that. When I answer nothing the first time they proceed to ask me again...... The thing is I don't even use styling products. My hair is always naked...

 

[BklynHeart]

I'm not natural but when I get my hair freshly blown out, I usually wear it down and I get a lot of stares. I don't know if it's because "darker skinned" sistaz aren't suppose to have long shiny bouncy hair but I can feel the staring when I walk through the mall.

I know what you mean. When I was relaxed my hair was a little past armpit length and blunt cut. I would get the stares, people standing behind me too close on line to see if my hair was fake. And lawd, don't let me wear it curly! It had to be a weave or a wig!

 

[LovinLocks]

Raisin' my hand, 'cause I'm sure.

What really is funny is when white folk begin sentences like, "Your hair is not . . . ." then they search for the correct word . . . uuuh, would ya be looking for nappy. Guess what I started doing ???? My response . . .


"Yeah, you see, back in da day, masta went digging around in my ancestors stuff and here it is". Then they usually give me this stupid look . . . duh. Well, dats where it came from, yo daddy, I'd like to tell 'em.

 

[spoogeywoogey]

I chalk this up to major brainwashing and just plain ignorance. My father made every effort to teach me about Africa, and the diaspora when I was growing up. He even had a book on different tribes throughout Africa. That made me realise that black people have all types of curls and coils and kinks. There are tons of West Africans with wavy to coily hair. You really don't have to be mixed or be from East Africa to have that type of hair.

Being from Jamaica where it seems to be extremely important to prove to people that you have "pretty hair" or you have at least a great grand parent who is of a different race, this was pretty significant for me. I knew from early on that black people have many different shades, and many different hair textures. I even suspected from age 14 that I could wear it in a curly state, I just didn't know how.

 

[Nola Darling]

I'm medium and I have 4B hair and people of all races STILL think I have "something else" in me when I wear my hair natural.

I think natural hair just makes us look more exotic no matter what the texture. I think that's cool!

 

[trj1922]

This thread made me giggle. When I first went natural, people were like "Oh my God, why would you do that?" Then I grew it out and they were like "Well, I'd be natural too if I had (so-called) good hair!" My jaw almost hit the floor because I have hair at the tighter end of 3c with some 4a in a couple of places and it's plenty kinky to me. (The siggy pic is partially dry after a wash without product) I also got the typical responses that dark people get when they have curly hair. "What are you mixed with?" "Is that real?" "What do you do to your hair?" I'm "mixed" I guess, like 99% of Black Americans are, but no, my mama ain't white. Of course, it's real, would YOU buy this stuff?

I do use product, so to the last question, I'd respond with whatever I was using product-wise at the time. Those who were skeptical that it didn't include any chemical processes were irritating, but not nearly as much as the folks who ran out and bought whatever I said and came back mad at me because their hair was still 4z, or whatever. It was like having curly hair as a dark person meant that you MUST have found the secret holy hair straightening grail (but not a perm) in a jar. I remember trying to explain that Miss Jessie's would not make your hair curly unless it was already curly otherwise you'd have to be willing to do some additional styling. Blank stares...

 

[secretrose]

This is a very interesting post. The term good hair has taken a whole new meaning in my family as well as with my friends. It has less to do with the texture and more to do with thickness and length of your hair. My sister has very fine/thin 3b/4a hair and her hair is seen as weak. Me and my cousin have 4a/4b very thick and strong hair and I am considered to have good hair because it looks healthy and grows very fast (according to them).

 

[Soliel185]

^^ When I was little my Aunts and Grandmothers would comment about my "good" hair. But they thought it was "good" moreso b/c of how long and thick it was as opposed to a texture or curl pattern.

I always got my hair brushed with a boar bristle brush dipped in water and plenty of grease so I never saw any curls or kinks. My hair was always stretched and braided. I still didn't fully realize I had any kind of texture until I started looking at old pics of my natural hair, and now that I'm transitioning again I'm looking forward to experimenting with them.

 

[msmills2U]

I get that one too...I say I get it from my mama!
lol

People ask me "how did I get my hair like that" every now and then. But I think while some people think I have a texturizer, I think most folks figure that my hair is kinky and frizzy enough to be considered just plain old nappy, because almost no one declares surprise that I'm a "darkbutt" (my goodness that's an ugly term) with coily curly hair.

 

[Prettyeyes]

My skin is light and my hubby is dark. Our daughter is medium brown with 3b/3c hair and everyone wants to assume it came from me but my hubby has 3b hair. I have 3c and some 4a!

And whenever people see her for the first time they rave about her "good hair" it irritates me because she is beautiful and she is NOT her hair.

 

[mommyoftheyear]

I think that people rarely see 4b or 4a naturals...period. It wasn't until I got on the board that I started thinking my natural texture wasn't that bad and I might be able to wear it natural. It also wasn't until I got on the board that I saw 4ab naturals who didn't just always wear their hair in braids or locks. I mentioned to my cousin that I was thinking about going natural.... she is about 3b/c and is going natural. She pretty much let me know that that wouldn't be sensible because what would I do with my hair afterwards.

I am right there with you. I had always had a perm, Wearing my hair natural or anything close to natural was just not a option for me. It was not until I went under a soul searching period and did not care what other thought of me. The board has helped out a great deal. My hair was in a short style when I decided to wear my hair curly I do put a perm in it about every 4-5 months and I want to strech that out to 6 months. It still is a stuggle sometimes with my natural hair pattern. Sometimes I sit and think about all the brain washing that we have had concerning our hair and it is a down right shame. I am getting more comfotable with my hair I love it.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

When I go out to events, sometimes I put some World of Curls moisturizer in my hair to get a curly effect going black people tend to tell me what "good hair" I have. Nothing pisses me off more than hearing that. I do like black folk that remark on how nice my hair is sans curls.

 

[kismettt]

white people just ask me how i get my hair to do "that"

but i just think its because most black girls have relaxed hair so i'm just like whatever.

 

[IrisDaVirus]

Daaaaaammmnnn. Your hair is GORGEOUS!!!

 

[oldcrayons]

I think that a lot of them do not say anything when they see lighter-skinned girls with curly or so-and-so hair is because they assume that they are part Black.

 

[CheLala13]

Yea, when I told my dad I was going natural he said I "don't have THAT type of hair."
We can be our worst enemies. I hope that we can all change these views though. It'll come with time, I'm sure.
Oh, I still don't know what type I am yet. I think 4a.

 

[Pryncez524]

I feel you on this. I honestly think that this is something black people will never get over. There are always gonna be those who associate light skin with "good" hair or mixed heritage. The simple truth is that black people judge each other on complexion and hair. It's sad but it's the truth.

It's so crazy that you bring up this subject because I just had a run in with someone and the "good hair usage. I'm a medium complexion (I don't consider my self light-skinned) and I am of a mixed heritage. However, I'm still black. Anyways, I've always hated when people used the term "good" hair, because I just dont believe there's any such thing. I grew up with a mom who taught me to love being black for what it is. So yesterday I was in JC Penny's with a friend looking for the MIZANI H2O night-time treatment that I've heard so much about. I started telling the lady at the desk that I'd found this forum (I raved about LHCF lol) and how I wanted to grow my hair and keep it healthy. So my friend commented that it wouldnt take much for me since I didnt have black hair. I have that "good" hair. So I said there's no such thing as "good" hair. And the lady says, "Yeah its always those with the good hair that say there's no such thing." I was just like wow ok.
You just learn to ignore things after awhile. Sorry for the long post : )