Foolishness Alert - Unfriending On Facebook

[naturalmanenyc]

I just learned that an ex girlfriend of a family member called all upset because after their breakup his friends and family have unfriended her on Facebook. Seriously? They dated for only a few months.

This is not a teenager or young woman. She is grown! I never accepted her friend request so didn't have to unfriend. lol

He dodged a bullet.

 

[hopeful]

Ha ha. That's silly. She should have waited before trying to friend his family and friends.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I figure she was nuts when I first met her. She was over the top.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

What else do they have in common? Awkward. If they only dated a few months, why she got all his friends and family on FB? Childish.

 

[Country gal]

I unfriended an ex boyfriend's family and friends. It just helps with a clean break.

 

[LiftedUp]

On the flip side, they were very petty as well.

 

[Godsdaughter001]

On the flip side, they were very petty as well.

How so? They weren't friends - why stay "friends" with her on FB? I think a lot of people (not referring to you, @LiftedUp) take FB too seriously, hence her hurt feelings. IJS...

 

[LiftedUp]

How so? They weren't friends - why stay "friends" with her on FB? I think a lot of people (not referring to you, @LiftedUp) take FB too seriously, hence her hurt feelings. IJS...

What you described is taking fb too seriously. A group of people doing mass unfriending over a break-up is taking being FB friends a bit too seriously.

 

[ThirdEyeBeauty]

Why would the friends and family stay FB friends with someone when their only connection was a family member dating them for months? I think the family and friends made a good call to end the "relationship" to avoid any possible future drama if they kept her as a FB friend. That's why I stay out of FB. It's too messy for me.

What you described is taking fb too seriously. A group of people doing mass unfriending over a break-up is taking being FB friends a bit too seriously.

Good point but I have heard that down the line due to messiness, unfriending became necessary for some. Better to end it now than later while you still remember why that person is a FB friend in the first place.

 

[LiftedUp]

Good point but I have heard that down the line due to messiness, unfriending became necessary for some. Better to end it now than later while you still remember why that person is a FB friend in the first place.

I don't participate in FB messiness so I wouldn't know...

 

[Mai Tai]

What you described is taking fb too seriously. A group of people doing mass unfriending over a break-up is taking being FB friends a bit too seriously.

Naww...that't having your family member's back. I would be pissed and feel betrayed if my friends and family remained connected in ANY way to an ex. I don't care how long we dated; if we break up then nobody better talk to that fool.

 

[LiftedUp]

I didn't know fb "friendships" ran that deep. I really don't care if anyone else is friends with my ex on fb or if they're friends IRL. If someone is expecting me to participate in some mass fb unfriending then they clearly do not know me well. If he/she did something bizarre well yea of course I'd have my friend's back but otherwise it's just fb to me. Likewise, I don't go through anyone's friendlist to take note of their friends.

 

[metro_qt]

you all make such good points on either side about friending the ex or unfriending...

this is not just about fb but taking sides in general....you've all had family break up or divorce others and you either have to choose a side or stay away all together. ....

why is this considered foolish when played out on facebook?

 

[ChasingBliss]

Women always wanna stay connected to a guys family after a break up. I dont get that. He couldnt care less about staying cool with yours. If I were her, they wouldnt have unfriended me because I would have already unfriended them. I'm HIGHLY considering the part that they were only dating a few months, not years and there were no kids involved..... and if it was a bad break up....yeah...clean break. I've done it before soooo.

 

[CoilyFields]

I can understand how she feels. Not that I think it's that serious though.

Mass un-friending could feel like serious rejection by people who you haven't done anything to. Especially if it was a bad break up where the girl feels rejected by the guy anyway.

Things that would normally happen organically are pretty harsh when done on FB because it doesn't include any of the normal gentle social cues and human emotions that would accompany it to make it less cut and dry.

For example, we don't go up to people and say, "will you be my friend?" It happens naturally by us trying to hang out with them and if they are not interested they send gentle social ques to indicate as much. With FB it's like, "will you be my friend", "No"...

 

[curlicarib]

But.............its Facebook. Is it really that serious? Do people really take FB that seriously? Why?

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Because it's not real life. It's Facebook. She sent friend requests to everyone on his friends list, people she never even met or people she met once (like me).

In real life people tend to pick sides after a divorce because they actually know and formed a relationship with the parties involved.

you all make such good points on either side about friending the ex or unfriending...

this is not just about fb but taking sides in general....you've all had family break up or divorce others and you either have to choose a side or stay away all together. ....

why is this considered foolish when played out on facebook?

 

[CoilyFields]

But.............its Facebook. Is it really that serious? Do people really take FB that seriously? Why?

Yes, some do. I imagine it makes more of an impact if you don't have a real life social support system or if you interact regularly with those people outside of FB.

Un-friending her is like blocking her number on you phone (in a way that she knows she's blocked) or seeing her in the street and turning and going the other way without saying anything to her.

It's not that deep (to me) and shouldn't warrant a break-down (unless she was on the verge anyways) but I'm trying to think about the psychology behind it and the implications it has in our daily lives.

 

[CoilyFields]

Because it's not real life. It's Facebook. She sent friend requests to everyone on his friends list, people she never even met or people she met once (like me).

In real life people tend to pick sides after a divorce because they actually know and formed a relationship with the parties involved.

But it is real life. These are real people doing the actions, not some Sims virtual reality.

With that said, she is doing the most! I'm thinking she had relationships with these people. But if she didn't really know them then she needs to quit trippin!

Sidenote: I would be pissed if my in-laws un-friended me (unless I did something horrible to cause the divorce) but thats because we are all very close.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I would compare it to virtual reality. I never played it but I'm imagining it to be like that Kim Kardashian game where you have virtual friends, virtual parties and virtual fashion.
Nobody will see her in the street and walk away though since she lives out of state. I only met her due to a holiday.

But it is real life. These are real people doing the actions, not some Sims virtual reality.

With that said, she is doing the most! I'm thinking she had relationships with these people. But if she didn't really know them then she needs to quit trippin!

Sidenote: I would be pissed if my in-laws un-friended me (unless I did something horrible to cause the divorce) but thats because we are all very close.

 

[ladysaraii]

I dont understand why she friended people in the first place. She was his girlfriend for a few months!

Had I been a relative that she friended, she would have either been rejected from jump or sitting in Facebook Request Purgatory for all eternity.

 

[Fine 4s]

Reminder- I'm too sensitive for FB. It's that serious to me hence haven't been on it for years.
Know thyself. lol

 

[NOEChic]

Because it's not real life. It's Facebook. She sent friend requests to everyone on his friends list, people she never even met or people she met once (like me).

In real life people tend to pick sides after a divorce because they actually know and formed a relationship with the parties involved.

I would not have accepted her friend request. Why do I need to see what she posts? Since she is that pressed, you know she tagged him on all her posts lol

 

[Seraphina]

I don't see anything off about unfriending family and friends of the ex. It's not about making some big statement or being extra. But what purpose does it serve except as a way to keep up with other people's lives? Why would I care to do that for an exes family and friends? I also don't like having a ton of FB to take up space in my newsfeed.

 

[Mortons]

Don't add her as a friend in the first place if you have to keep tabs on their relationship status in order to know if you can keep her as a Facebook friend.

All these gambinos and they have to be childish.

 

[abcd09]

I would compare it to virtual reality. I never played it but I'm imagining it to be like that Kim Kardashian game where you have virtual friends, virtual parties and virtual fashion.
Nobody will see her in the street and walk away though since she lives out of state. I only met her due to a holiday.

but in virtual reality, those things arent real. on facebook, everyone is real and for the most part is being their genuine self.

I can understand unfriending a relative's ex and I can understand why he ex's feelings were hurt. It odes feel like a real life rejection, and it's often more abrupt.