Ever moved on or met a new love but wasn't over your ex?

[*5+5]

I'm still not over my ex but I'm ready to move on and be with someone new. I'm wondering if I'll have to 'fully' clear this hurdle first in order to attract the true love I desire.

One of my besties had just broken up with her ex, was not over him the least bit and was planning to get back with him and met the guy who would become her DH a month later. Is this a rare case?

Any ladies still had feeling for an ex and yet found a new love?

 

[Ediese]

Yep. I think I'm in this boat. I know that I'm not 100% over my ex, only God knows why btw because he's such a creep. Anyway, I've started dating and really like one of the guys, but it doesn't stop me from thinking about my ex at times. I'm still waiting for everything I've ever felt for him to disappear.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

I'm kind of in this situation too. There's a guy I've gone back and forth with but we could never make things work because of timing and distance. We're both aware things won't always be this way but I'm not about to sit and pine away in the meantime. However my fear is this guy will show up right as I get with someone else and I'll be torn.

 

[wednesday]

i have been in this situation. wasn't over my ex and met my soul mate, rushed into a relationship.That is my regret. I wish i had taken time to heal and get over my ex because the new relationship didn't work out. I wouldn't rush into a relationship again. But dating can be good, it's good to see what's out there.

 

[DarkAngell]

When i first met my current fiance....i wasn't ready for him because i wasn't over my ex (There were other reasons also but it boils down to me not being ready and good enough at that time for someone like him). We clicked immediately and he treated me like gold. I Liked him alot but my feelings couldn't go to far because i was still in love with my ex. I ended it with him and got back with my ex.

that was in 2004. After things were done with my ex, The guy (my fiance now) and i kept trying to get in touch with the other but everytime we did either he was seeing someone else or I was. Finally in 2007 when we got in touch with each again we were both single and things worked out. Now we're getting married

I have to say though that I had alot of regret for doing that and cried so many nights when i realized what i had thrown away over some stupid ex.

So what I say is, not to get seriously with someone until your feelings for your ex are gone, but if you start falling for someone else, don't jeopardize it for an ex (who is probably your ex for a good reason)

 

[Pink Sunshine]

Best Therapy to get over an ex, is just move on...

Each time the "new one" does something wonderful, you will remember..."Oh yea, thats the reason I moved on!"

 

[loolalooh]

I wasn't completely over my ex before I met my current bf. It affected our relationship in the first month or so.

If I could do it over again, I would've taken more time to be single (was already single for 10 months but I guess I could've used a few more months.) However, I then would've passed up this current opportunity ... so I don't know.

I don't think you have to "fully" clear the hurdle, but ideally one could be at point where it's not hurting the new relationship.

 

[Skyfall]

Do you want to get over your ex?
simply change your thinking
in the positive affirmations thread they talk about NAPS perhaps one of yours could be 'I sever all emotional ties to my ex'

 

[Sweetgirl08]

I broke up with my ex in 2004, 2005 I met my current SO. As much as I liked him (loved him) I still couldn't get over the ex. Almost to the point where I only call my SO "baby" because I'm scared I might say my ex's name.

Even after five+ years, having a child, and living with the new guy, I still have feelings for an ex that has obviously moved on married and had another child himself.

(I remember hearing that it takes double the length of the relationship to get over it... So I guess I have 5 more years....hmmm I think I need a lobotomy or whatever Jim Carey had in that movie "Eternal Sunshine")

LOL

ANYWHO....
I think that as long as you don't judge your next by the good/ bad aspects of your previous relationship than you should be cool. No sense in waiting to be happy... Especially you may NEVER be over him (who knows)...you being alone while he moves on and forgets about you is certainly not the life you want for yourself. HTH


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[*5+5]

Yea I feel about the same as most of you ladies. I met a guy about 2yrs ago, let's call him the one that got away. He was everything that I could dream of in a guy but I just couldn't move my feet b/c I was afraid my ex would come running back and I didn't want to hurt this guy at all. He was aware of my situation and being patient with me, looking back I wished I would've leaped and kept it moving but I didn't.

We were back in forward for awhile and now I realize that I can't miss out on happiness b/c of these emotions that may not subdue anytime soon. However, mentally I'm moving forward and not looking back. @Sweetgirl, that's deep when you say "may NEVER be over him" that's tough to imagine.

@Dani: I've been doing NAPs and yes one of them is "I"m now over my ex and free to move on" I think stating that I'm still in love with him may be setting me back in my progressive thinking.

 

[ThickHair]

I don't think I will every be completely over my Exhusband BUT I know that we were not good as a couple and I did everything possible and extended past possible to work it out and it just was not meant to be. I would not jeopardize my relationship with FH for Ex because I know that it is done. He will always occupy a part of my heart because I spent 13 years of my life with him. I have no regrets about our relationship being over.

My feelings for my ex will never surpass the feelings that I have for my FH, he is everything that I could ever have imagined (equally yoked) and I would never throw that away for someone that I know we were never equally yoked.

Ex and I both realized that we should have never married and more than likely we would have been perfect as BF\GF forever, BUT I could not see myself as a GF forever. I know that doesn't make sense but for us and the type of relationship we had, it makes perfect sense.

FH and I wouldn't work out being BF\GF forever. That is not that type of relationship. We have a spiritual connection and see growth, together in our future. I can honestly say I did not feel spiritually connected to my exhusband. We were good together and that is as far as it can go. Jesus was in my life, but not his. Jesus is the head of my life and FH life as it should be.

 

[Prudent1]

Yes, I've done this before. To piggy back off of others I cannot underscore how important it is to give yourself at least 1 year to heal, reflect, etc when coming off of a serious relationship where your heart and soul were intertwined with someone. I wish someone would've suggested a waiting period. I ended up hurting several ppl (some who didn't deserve it/ some I didn't even know) in the process and things got soap opera messy towards the end. **sigh** I learned those lessons the hard way. I was under the I'll get over him during the process/ don't want to be alone/ I can easily find another man frame of mind. Plus, I would not want to be in a relationship with a man who still had ties to his ex so, I'm not going to subject someone else to that.

 

[Browndilocks]

I'm still not over my ex but I'm ready to move on and be with someone new. I'm wondering if I'll have to 'fully' clear this hurdle first in order to attract the true love I desire.

One of my besties had just broken up with her ex, was not over him the least bit and was planning to get back with him and met the guy who would become her DH a month later. Is this a rare case?

Any ladies still had feeling for an ex and yet found a new love?

I know of a similar situation. The girl was not over the ex who made it clear in more ways than one that he didn't want her. While she was dating the new guy she was still calling the ex, trying to get him back. Less than a year later she's engaged... and now you can't tell her anything. erplexed

 

[tropical-punch]

Hmm. I'm ready to move on too. It's been almost two years since my ex and I broke up but I still love him. We weren't together for very long but we still keep in contact so that makes it hard. But, for these past couple of days, I've been thinking about how I don't ever think we will be back together. I believe I want it more than he does. He lives 2k miles away and our lives are taking us in two different directions.

Don't know the real purpose of this post but I just have to tell somebody.

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[jazzerz]

Hmm. I'm ready to move on too. It's been almost two years since my ex and I broke up but I still love him. We weren't together for very long but we still keep in contact so that makes it hard. But, for these past couple of days, I've been thinking about how I don't ever think we will be back together. I believe I want it more than he does. He lives 2k miles away and our lives are taking us in two different directions.

Don't know the real purpose of this post but I just have to tell somebody.

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You might need to cut contact COMPLETELY. ::::::hugs:::::: it's hard, I know.

 

[Britt]

So what I say is, not to get seriously with someone until your feelings for your ex are gone, but if you start falling for someone else, don't jeopardize it for an ex (who is probably your ex for a good reason)

Best Therapy to get over an ex, is just move on...

Each time the "new one" does something wonderful, you will remember..."Oh yea, thats the reason I moved on!"

I think it all depends on how much you really and truly cared for your ex. I broke up w/ an ex exactly two years ago. It was a tulmutous relationship, and I couldn't wait to get out of it. I jumped right into something w/ someone else who I thought I'd more compatible with. But as time went by, I realized how much I deeply loved my ex even though I knew it would go nowhere. I obviously broke it off w/ the 'rebound' and I can honestly say that I am totally ok, relieved, I don't miss him at all, and that's b/c keeping it real w/ myself, I never did really love, love him in my heart. I know that when I finally meet 'the one' I will be completely over my ex from two years ago. I know there is a far more greater love, a deeper connection, a real man that's out there being prepared for me and I for him (sorry to get all sappy )