Engaged to a non-christian, Need advice

[achangedlife]

My fiance and I have been together for ten years. We have four wonderful children. We're still madly in love with eachother and still very happy. Two years ago I rededicated my life to Christ and have been spiritually growing ever since. I hear a lot of people say that if you're saved you shouldn't date people who aren't and even the bible says do not be equally yolked with nonbelievers. How can I leave the father of my children and the love of my life? Right now we are not living together, we do want to get married but we are having financial set backs right now and can't afford our own place, mainly because I'm working on my masters and his business is less than a year old so we don't have the income. I know he would marry me tomorrow if we were able to live together but he doesn't want to get married till we can afford to get a place but that may be 2-3 yrs down the road.

On top of all that he has not rededicated his life to Christ yet so should I even marry him if he's not saved? He's not opposed to going to church, he went with me on father's day and he enjoyed the service and even said that he was thinking about going again. We live an hour away from eachother so it's not easy to get him to go with me every week and I'm sure whatever thoughts he has of church the will devil will fight it when I'm not there to encourage him.

I have no intention of breaking up my family but sometimes I feel like I'm being stubborn and not yielding to God's will. I think of the scripture where Paul says that if two people are happy together than the one that's saved should not leave but that only applies to married couples. I'm very confused. I want to keep my family together and please God too. I know the primary thing is to not fornicate but that's not easy when you've been with someone for that long. I don't know what to do.

 

[trinigul]

I doubt God wants to break up your family.

Don't be confused. This is a job for God and God works best sorting out stuff if we leave it to Him. Get to praising God for your fiance's deliverance. Here's a twist on Colossians 1: 9-14 (NIV) - fill in his name, fill in your name, fill in whoever-you-care-about's name:

Father, I won't stop praying for You to fill _________ with the knowlege of your will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. I pray this inorder that _________ may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please You in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of You, being strengthened with all power according to Your glorious might so that ________ may have great edurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to You, who has qualified __________ to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For You have rescued ________ from the dominion of darkness and brought ________ into the kingdom of the Son you love, in whom ______ has/have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. AMEN!

Don't toss him out. My deacon's wife dedicated her life to Christ while he was still in the club and now he's the head of his household (after God). Many years later, they're still a couple on FIYAH for God.

As for the marriage, I'd like to suggest you all go to the justice of the peace and then have a celebration to renew your vows whenever the money comes around. Something will always come up. You don't want to be disobedient. But that's just my suggestion. Pray on that situation also.

 

[klassykutie]

My fiance and I have been together for ten years. We have four wonderful children. We're still madly in love with eachother and still very happy. Two years ago I rededicated my life to Christ and have been spiritually growing ever since. I hear a lot of people say that if you're saved you shouldn't date people who aren't and even the bible says do not be equally yolked with nonbelievers. How can I leave the father of my children and the love of my life? Right now we are not living together, we do want to get married but we are having financial set backs right now and can't afford our own place, mainly because I'm working on my masters and his business is less than a year old so we don't have the income. I know he would marry me tomorrow if we were able to live together but he doesn't want to get married till we can afford to get a place but that may be 2-3 yrs down the road.

On top of all that he has not rededicated his life to Christ yet so should I even marry him if he's not saved? He's not opposed to going to church, he went with me on father's day and he enjoyed the service and even said that he was thinking about going again. We live an hour away from eachother so it's not easy to get him to go with me every week and I'm sure whatever thoughts he has of church the will devil will fight it when I'm not there to encourage him.

I have no intention of breaking up my family but sometimes I feel like I'm being stubborn and not yielding to God's will. I think of the scripture where Paul says that if two people are happy together than the one that's saved should not leave but that only applies to married couples. I'm very confused. I want to keep my family together and please God too. I know the primary thing is to not fornicate but that's not easy when you've been with someone for that long. I don't know what to do.

IMO, the bolded is all that should matter. If he is willing to go that is a start. Maybe God had put you in the position in his life to help him along the way if and when he needs that guidance. Just because he isn't "saved" doesn't mean he doesn't have faith in the Lord, but only you and God and himself would know if this is the case.

I know you guys will be fine, God has given you both too much together to turn back now.

 

[achangedlife]

Thanks Trinigul, I appreciate your response. I've thought about going to the justice of the peace but it's going to take some convincing to get him to do it that way. He takes pride in taking care of his family and I know it may bruise his ego to marry me and not yet be able to provide a place for us. I'll have to stand strong and let him know that I need to seek the kingdom of God and His righteouness first if I expect God to bless our finances and our relationship.

As for his deliverance I have already claimed it in the name of Jesus. On the day that I rededicated my life to Christ someone prophecied to my fiance and said "The next time you preach, you will preach from your soul."
He may not remember those words but I will never forget them, and you know that God's word doesn't return to Him void and unfufilled so I know my baby will get reconsile his relationship with Christ, it's just a matter of when. Until then I guess I have to be the spiritually mature one and stand in the gap for our family.

 

[trinigul]

AMEN!!!!

You make me wanna cry.

You're in the game.

Can't wait to hear the testimony!

 

[Shimmie]

I'm sure whatever thoughts he has of church the will devil will fight it when I'm not there to encourage him.

Don't ever give place to these words again. Who has more control over him? God or the devil? God does. Instead focus on God's word which clearly states:

"As the hart (the deer) thirsts after the water brook, so shall he thirst after God." (Psalm 42).

In Isaiah 27:3-5: " I, the Lord do keep it, I will watch it day and night; least any hurt it....let him make peace with me and he shall make peace with me."

Psalm 20:4: "I will give you the desires of your heart and make all your plans succeed."

"The Lord protects those whom He loves"..."The Lord loves the backslider" "Will He not leave the 99 and go after the "1"...?"

Make note of your screen name: "A Changed Life" applies to your fiancee as much as it does to you.

How do you know what's in his heart? How do you know that inwardly he hasn't given his heart to the Lord? Men are not as verbal about this as we women are. Now I am not making up excuses, but I refuse to allow the enemy to have a foothold in the desires of your heart with words and thoughts that are contrary to your desires and prayers to God our Father.

Which do you think God will fight for? Your marriage and your family which God created you for? Or to separate and have another sad statistic for the enemy to gloat about?

Let go of the doubt and the fear and stand for what you are asking God for. A happy marriage and family. And this you WILL have, in Jesus' name. Listen I know the word, which applies to all of what you've shared to support your fears and doubts.

But there's something else in God's word that will always stand from beginning to end. Mercy...God's undying mercy. And do not think for one moment that your situation is exempt from God's loving mercy.

God promises: "Come boldly to the 'Throne of Grace' to obtain Mercy in time of Need..."

I have no intention of breaking up my family...

God's Mercy prevails. Stand on it. Believe it. Receive it.

I want to keep my family together and please God too.

Again, my lovely precious sister...the answer to all of this is in your favor...God's Mercy. His tender mercies hover over you; loving and guiding you for all that concerns you. The Mercies of God abound for your financial stability; His tender Mercies abound that neither of you will be ashamed; His tender Mercies abound for you to remain abstinant until your wedding night, which you will be loved and cherished by your husband.

"Changed Life"...you have prophesized your future husband's Destiny...a changed life in the Lord Jesus Christ. For God has said, 'your house shall be saved." And God's Mercies do not lie...

Amen? Come Sweet One, just smile and whisper... Amen. As each day you arise, just whisper, "Lord, I believe and I receive your tender mercies upon us which abound and surround us everywhere. Prepare me to be his wife for the rest of his life...Amen.

All I did was speak the truth. For when I saw this thread earlier today, I had to pray before I could reply. Now we know why. God's Mercies...

Love, "Shimmie..."

 

[Shimmie]

"Changed Life" You have a lot of support here. I read your post first and then replied before reading the others.

God's loving blessings to all of the ladies here.

Love, Shimmie...

 

[Denim And Leather]

I think of the scripture where Paul says that if two people are happy together than the one that's saved should not leave but that only applies to married couples. I'm very confused. I want to keep my family together and please God too. I know the primary thing is to not fornicate but that's not easy when you've been with someone for that long. I don't know what to do.

I was thinking of that scripture, 1 Corinthians 7:12-16:

"But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?"

That's great that you have given your heart to Christ, and that your fiancee plan on making this relationship right by getting married. Being that you two have children together, I don't believe that God would want you two to seperate.

Keep trusting and believing that God will change your fiancee's heart. Nothing is too hard or impossible for Him, for we serve a might and powerful God!

Also, keep asking God to strengthen you to stay pure before your marriage. I know it's hard, but He certainly will give you that strength!

Here's a scripture that I hope will bring comfort to your heart:

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28).
I'll keep you two, as well as your children, in my prayers.

Take care, and please keep us posted.

(((Hugs))))

 

[Supergirl]

Hi Achangedlife,

First off I just want to say that I celebrate you for being "A Changed Life." It is wonderful that you took the steps toward God without worrying about your fiance or letting the fact that he is not saved hold you back.

My pastor commonly says "If he/she won't go to church (get saved) with you, don't you sit up and go to hell with him/her!"

My advice may sound a bit different than the others, but it's still in love. I DO NOT advise you getting married to a non-believer by any means. But you waiting it out until he becomes a believer is the way to go. As a Christian, you are obligated not to marry an unbeliever.

The scripture referenced several times above about a non-believer being with a believer and the 2 remaining together applies to those that are married. You already know that (you said it above). This was meant for situations where perhaps the 2 married when both were unbelievers and then one became a believer during the course of the marriage. I don't believe that God would want you to marry an unbeliever.

I also believe that God knows the desires of your heart and the vision you have for your family. Girl, we have a couple in our church that got married after SIX kids! And we had another couple that got married after NINE kids! I mentioned these couples to show you that God is able. You continue to show your fiance God's love. He'll see the light in you and be drawn to it and eventually want the same for himself. At that time, you'll be able to do nothing but scream and shout and praise the Lord!

Let's look at how God works:
*You've been with this man 10 years
*You have 4 children with this man
*The two of you desire to be married and to keep your family together (and God honors this very much)
*God requires that believers not marry unbelievers

Don't you think that God would arrange this situation so that you could rightfully marry this man? (meaning that he too will become saved) I agree with the above poster who said that God doesn't want your family to break up if this gentleman treats you right. I also agree that it's a start that your fiance went to church with you. His mind and heart are open. But wait until he accepts Christ as his Lord and personal savior. You want to marry to someone who has to answer to God about their dealings with you. That person is accountable to God and more conscious about how they treat you because they know God will get in their stuff if they don't act right! But an unsaved man is only accountable to himself.

 

[blazingthru]

I agree with supergirl, I got saved after having three children two of them with my husband now and wanted to keep my family together, but my husband was not saved and it has been a trial and burden on me. He is only accountable to himself, so there is no limits to what he will do to torment me and the children. He doesn't buy food now at all, not nothing and I could go on all day with the things that he refuses to do but the point its these things I would never do, I am to afraid of whats waiting for me in the end and he has no fear none whatsoever of God and its a scary thing. God know us in and out and he his plans is perfect for us but we can only see our plan and it usually falls to pieces. I wish you luck on your decison. My decisons have become easier for me since I know now there is only one. I wish I can get my twenty years back

 

[achangedlife]

Thank you ladies, this has been difficult to deal with and this is the first time I'v opened up about it to anyone. Thank you for all the kind words, scriptures and advice. You're right ShimmieGirl, if we do break up it will be another victory for the devil (he loves to seperate families), and I know my God is looking to make a fool, not a victor, of the devil. My fiance's brother is a minister, he and his wife have seperated and he's living with another woman. When I stand in prayer for them I always pray that God doesn't allow the devil to shame this christain family but rather let them be a testimony unto God so that God may be glorified through them but I never thought to pray that for my own family.

Trudy, thanks for sharing your story. You can't give up either cause God can change every situation. He's no respector of persons and He's the same God yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

The Lord gave me an idea today about how we may be able to get some financial assistance while I'm in school, which would allow us to marry and get our family back together. I haven't proposed it to him yet but I'll keep praying on it and I'll let you guys know. I've been keeping this in so long and it's a relief to finally be able to talk about it. You ladies have helped renewed my strength. Thanks again.

 

[dreamer26]

I have to agree with Supergirl.

Sometimes we don't want to hear No but actually that's what the answer might be or wait.

Sometimes we put ourselves in situations and think God will bend his word or go against his word because we're in a situation. A lot of times we do things all out of order and against his will and expect him to ok it. No he will not. He will forgive us and love us but he will not O.K. something that he has spoken against.

If he says don't be unequally yoked, then that's what he means.

Our problem is we cater to our flesh and God does not. That's why sometimes being saved and serving God seems to be hard.

If you stand on the word of God and stay true to God, if your friend does not come around, God can send you somebody that's saved and love the Lord and will love you and your children as if they were his own.

God is not limited or bound by our situation or circumstances, but he is bound by our unbelief. If you don't believe God can do it, it doesn't mean he can't do it, (HE's GOD) it just means he can't do it for you.

But if you believe and show God that you love him more than a man. God will show you a man that will love you more than you could ever dream.

Wait on the Lord and be of good cheer and don't forget to praise him while you wait.

 

[fivefoursweetie]

I agree with Supergirl and Dreamer26. I am a single parent, and I personally feel that me deciding not to stay with my son's father, although he treated me like I was a queen, was in God's will, because my son's father was not a believer. I also don't think that I "broke the family up". I think that within our rhelm of thinking we have labels on what is socially acceptable and not socially acceptable, and often because something goes against the common way that people agree upon, people put negative labels on things. If we look at the situation from Gods' view, a family is supposed to be a mother, father and if they are blessed with offspring that that would happen after the couple are married...that constitutes God's family. Now when we step outside of God's plan, there are consequences that may come, one of which may be that you have families that are "broken up" (as our society calls it). Sometimes the devil will not have us see that everything originated in SIN; That can not be ignored. So to try to justify God's feelings about family after starting off in sin, may not be the way God really feels. If you ever want to know Gods heart, it is in His Word. I have never read in the Bible that a person should get married because they had a child out of wedlock. God DOES say "Do not be unequally yoked" So only you can decide if you want to do what you want to do, or do you want to do what God wants you to do. And do know that God does allow us free will to do as we choose, whoever there are consequences to that.
I pray that you really seek God for his will for your life, because He knows what is best for you.
Be blessed, and God bless you for inquiring on what you should do. You sound like a woman that seeks to do what is right in God's eyes, so be blessed!!!

 

[MrsQueeny]

I wish I can get my twenty years back

Don't worry you will have many wonderful years in heaven. Q

 

[Choclatcotton]

I personally agree with Supergirl, dreamer26 and fivefoursweetie. I have had the emotional ties and the anxiety of not knowing what to do once you commit your life to God and what to do with an unbelieving boyfriend ,but Gpd will not ask you to do something that is not in your best physical , emotional or spiritual interest. He wants a union that will glorify him. True unity is in the spirit. Just consider all angles. If you did get together as an unbeliver and he changes his mind on serving God? you dont want your children to suffer. I wish you the best in God's love for your future.

 

[klassykutie]

Do you have to be saved to be a believer?

 

[Belle Du Jour]

I agree with Supergirl and dreamer.

 

[Sweet C]

I am a single parent, and I personally feel that me deciding not to stay with my son's father, although he treated me like I was a queen, was in God's will, because my son's father was not a believer. I also don't think that I "broke the family up". I think that within our rhelm of thinking we have labels on what is socially acceptable and not socially acceptable, and often because something goes against the common way that people agree upon, people put negative labels on things. If we look at the situation from Gods' view, a family is supposed to be a mother, father and if they are blessed with offspring that that would happen after the couple are married...that constitutes God's family. Now when we step outside of God's plan, there are consequences that may come, one of which may be that you have families that are "broken up" (as our society calls it). Sometimes the devil will not have us see that everything originated in SIN; That can not be ignored. So to try to justify God's feelings about family after starting off in sin, may not be the way God really feels. If you ever want to know Gods heart, it is in His Word. I have never read in the Bible that a person should get married because they had a child out of wedlock. God DOES say "Do not be unequally yoked" So only you can decide if you want to do what you want to do, or do you want to do what God wants you to do. And do know that God does allow us free will to do as we choose, whoever there are consequences to that.
I pray that you really seek God for his will for your life, because He knows what is best for you.
Be blessed, and God bless you for inquiring on what you should do. You sound like a woman that seeks to do what is right in God's eyes, so be blessed!!!

ITA with this! I truly encourage you to seek God's face through fasting and prayer as how to specifically proceed. But I warn you, DO NOT even consider marrying this man until he shows fruit of a relationship with Christ (not just a confession, but actively making the steps towards walking with God) and don't you say yes until God says Yes! No matter what God tells you to do, stand firm in his Word (written and spoken) regardless of any possible backlash that can (and oftentimes will) occur.

 

[dreamer26]

Do you have to be saved to be a believer?

You don't have to be saved to be a believer but you have to be a believer to be saved.

What I mean: The devil believe there is a God but he's not saved

But if you want a relationship a right relationship with God, you must confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from grave the bible says you shall be saved.

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
~Romans 10:9

But once you are saved, you can't stop there you must turn from your wicked ways. That's what most of us don't do we confess and believe but we never turn from our wicked ways and allow God to be Lord and Savior of our lives.

we're saved, and having sex and not married
Saved, and smoking crack
Saved, and lieing and cheating
Saved, and cheating on taxes
Saved and buying stolen merchandise

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." -2nd Chronicles 7:14

God wants to do so much for us but we must do something first. TURN FROM OUR WICKED WAYS and seek his face.

Sorry didn't mean to say all that.

 

[star]

But if you believe and show God that you love him more than a man. God will show you a man that will love you more than you could ever dream.

I love this statement is truly something I live by.

I will be praying that our sister will be in God's perfect will.

 

[klassykutie]

You don't have to be saved to be a believer but you have to be a believer to be saved.

What I mean: The devil believe there is a God but he's not saved

But if you want a relationship a right relationship with God, you must confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from grave the bible says you shall be saved.

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
~Romans 10:9

But once you are saved, you can't stop there you must turn from your wicked ways. That's what most of us don't do we confess and believe but we never turn from our wicked ways and allow God to be Lord and Savior of our lives.

we're saved, and having sex and not married
Saved, and smoking crack
Saved, and lieing and cheating
Saved, and cheating on taxes
Saved and buying stolen merchandise

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." -2nd Chronicles 7:14

God wants to do so much for us but we must do something first. TURN FROM OUR WICKED WAYS and seek his face.

Sorry didn't mean to say all that.

No you are right, but my point is just because you are not saved does not mean you do not believe. There are those who are simply believers who have not been saved and live accordingly in the Word opposed to some who ARE saved.

Did I miss something? Is the fiance' a true non believer, is he an aethist(sp?) or something?

 

[dreamer26]

No you are right, but my point is just because you are not saved does not mean you do not believe. There are those who are simply believers who have not been saved and live accordingly in the Word opposed to some who ARE saved.

Did I miss something? Is the fiance' a true non believer, is he an aethist(sp?) or something?

Correct, just because you have not accepted God do not mean you do not believe there is a God. Just believing there is a heaven or hell or there is a God is not enough.

The bible says the devil knows there's a God and tremble.

Just like being good and doing good do not put into heaven.

I don't think the fiance is an atheist, or this really would be a close case.

I think we were simply stating that if you have accepted Christ then don't settle for second best because as a child of God he can give you the desires of your heart and you will be be in his will.

We're not throwing the fiance away, we just wanted to encourage her to not compromise any longer but stand strong and if it's God's will for the two to become one, God will order the steps and it will be done right in his eyes.

 

[Denim And Leather]

I have to change my answer and agree with Supergirl, Dreamer26, fivefoursweetie, etal.

I've been reading the replies and thinking about this the last couple of days and realize that your guys are correct. My reasoning was that since ACL and her fiance have been living together, they are living as "one flesh", i.e. man and wife. It seemed that they might as well get married, especially since they have children.

But you guys are correct, we should never be unequally yoked with a non-believer, and God's word should never be compromised.

I still hope that your fiance will change and give his heart to Christ, ACL.

God bless!

 

[Sweet C]

Correct, just because you have not accepted God do not mean you do not believe there is a God. Just believing there is a heaven or hell or there is a God is not enough.



The bible says the devil knows there's a God and tremble.



Just like being good and doing good do not put into heaven.



I don't think the fiance is an atheist, or this really would be a close case.



I think we were simply stating that if you have accepted Christ then don't settle for second best because as a child of God he can give you the desires of your heart and you will be be in his will.



We're not throwing the fiance away, we just wanted to encourage her to not compromise any longer but stand strong and if it's God's will for the two to become one, God will order the steps and it will be done right in his eyes.

Amen to that! We must understand how Christ see things. We humans tend to classify things like: unbeliever (don't believe Jesus is Lord), believer (believe Jesus Christ is Lord, but not necessarily serve him), and saved (believe Jesus is Lord and allow him to be so over our lives, and walk in his will). However, Christ only uses the first and last classification, not the inbetween, b/c his word tells us not to be lukewarm. So in God's eyes, saved and believer are one and the same. See either you are for or against him. And he wants those who are for him to link up with those who are as well.

 

[klassykutie]

Correct, just because you have not accepted God do not mean you do not believe there is a God. Just believing there is a heaven or hell or there is a God is not enough.

The bible says the devil knows there's a God and tremble.

Just like being good and doing good do not put into heaven.

I don't think the fiance is an atheist, or this really would be a close case.

I think we were simply stating that if you have accepted Christ then don't settle for second best because as a child of God he can give you the desires of your heart and you will be be in his will.

We're not throwing the fiance away, we just wanted to encourage her to not compromise any longer but stand strong and if it's God's will for the two to become one, God will order the steps and it will be done right in his eyes.

Ok,lol. This is very correct.

Thank you for explaining. I was a little lost.....

I asked that because I see ALOT of so called saved people who have supposedly given their lives to Christ, but they really haven't and are using their being saved as a status more than really living that way, if you understand what I mean.

 

[Supergirl]

You don't have to be saved to be a believer but you have to be a believer to be saved.

What I mean: The devil believe there is a God but he's not saved

But if you want a relationship a right relationship with God, you must confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from grave the bible says you shall be saved.

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
~Romans 10:9

But once you are saved, you can't stop there you must turn from your wicked ways. That's what most of us don't do we confess and believe but we never turn from our wicked ways and allow God to be Lord and Savior of our lives.

we're saved, and having sex and not married
Saved, and smoking crack
Saved, and lieing and cheating
Saved, and cheating on taxes
Saved and buying stolen merchandise

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." -2nd Chronicles 7:14

God wants to do so much for us but we must do something first. TURN FROM OUR WICKED WAYS and seek his face.

Sorry didn't mean to say all that.

This was good.

Also, I agree with some things in your previous post that I hadn't really considered or thought of. Though you agreed with me, I think your advice was much better than mine. I found what you said to be enlightening as far as the "box" we may put God into sometimes. I had not even taken time to consider God's definition of family vs. society's definition of family. But it would be beautiful to see God put her family together His way.

 

[Supergirl]

Just for clarification,

I (not necessarily anyone else) was using the terms "saved" and "believer" to mean the same.

 

[Zeal]

I personally agree with Supergirl, dreamer26 and fivefoursweetie. I have had the emotional ties and the anxiety of not knowing what to do once you commit your life to God and what to do with an unbelieving boyfriend ,but Gpd will not ask you to do something that is not in your best physical , emotional or spiritual interest. He wants a union that will glorify him. True unity is in the spirit. Just consider all angles. If you did get together as an unbeliver and he changes his mind on serving God? you dont want your children to suffer. I wish you the best in God's love for your future.

I agree! I speak in love. I would never advise marriage to a non-believer. Being unequally yoked does not only apply to married folks. It applies to dating also.

First, I 'll start by saying I am single with no children and I am not in a relationship at all. I would not mind being in a relationship with a man who just luuuuuuuvs the LORD. As a single women in God. I have my struggles. I have to say no to a lot of things that my flesh sreams for.

I am saved and I am a mess (u feel me). I am just saying, it is difficult enough for me to deal with "me" and I am saved. It is difficult enough dealing with a saved person. You think I would hook myself up with someone unsaved? A saved man could handle issues with the Holy Spirit when I start tripping and vice versa. No matter how good he treats you. Don't give in. You know what you are supposed to do. Therefore you are accountable. Don't give in to the flesh and step out of God's will.

I am just not talking. I speak from experience. "In everything" if God says don't do it, then don't do it! God will forgive you. However, you will be bruised and scraped up!. Don't go out like that. God does things in his time. Don't try to help him out. Remember Abraham and Sarah when they tried to help God out. All they got was a bunch of drama and the world is still paying for it to this day.

Don't give in to the flesh. You can still have your family. I will be praing for you.

God bless you and be strong.

 

[ArrrBeee]

Three years into my marriage I gave myself to Christ. It hasn't been the same since. My husband is not saved and I see why the bible tells us not to be unequally yoked. There are so many things that I cannot share with him or expect from him because of his non belief. Yes, he will on occasion go to chuch with me, but it isn't the same as having a man that longs to do God's will and follow his plans.

I would DEFINITELY not advocate you marrying your BF until he gives his life to Christ. I have a coworker who dated a non Christian. Slowly but surely she is giving less and less time to God. There is so much less incentive to be right with God when you don't have anyone (spouse) that helps you stay accountable.

 

[achangedlife]

No he's not an atheist and no we are not living together at this time. We already decided that we're not moving back in together till we're married.

I'll respond more when I have the strength to. Right now I just need prayer.