A simple case of hair anorexia. You're looking in the mirror & seeing one thing while the rest of the world is just seeing gorgeous.
On the real, I feel your frustrations with the postpartum shedding. After my 3 year old was born my hair went bananas. My edges thinned. It was shedding all over the place. I found out that it had alot to do with the fact that I was sick the entire pregnancy & barely ate & didn't take any prenatal vitamins. The little bit of nutrients that I was getting was going straight to the baby.
I'm not a professional but if you amp up your supplements & search some of the ways to combat shedding on the forum - like garlic externally/internally, you may be able to get it under control. I didn't know about the forum back then so I just had to ride it out.