Encouragement to Go Ahead and Trim

[KiniKakes]

Yeah, you get on now! You're one of the folks that is an excellent model/example for beautiful ends.

Sometimes i think i just feel compelled to play Devil's advocate..... stick up for the underdogs, i guess. *smh* Let me hursh now though! *scurrying out of thread*

 

[Supergirl]

Sometimes i think i just feel compelled to play Devil's advocate..... stick up for the underdogs, i guess. *smh* Let me hursh now though! *scurrying out of thread*

I do that too. I was just hoping that you didn't think for a moment that I was talkin' 'bout you.

 

[cmw45]

Yes, I was kind of assuming that the ladies here were intelligent enough to know this regardless of the ideas expressed in this thread.

A few points based on some of the posts in this thread:

*to have nice ends does not mean your hair has to be blunt cut
*to have nice ends does not mean your hair has to be the same thickness from root to tip
*the ends I'm referring to in the original post are unmistakeably (sp?) in need of some help
*I don't believe in going overboard with scissors.
*I think it's <insert word> to start a thread about reaching APL, BSL, MBL, etc. when your ends are torn up (which is probably the main reason for this thread) I mean if it's just to impress others, we'd sincerely probably be more impressed with hair that is shorter but has nice ends.
*I'm not telling anyone what to do. Remember the title of the thread begins with the word encouragement. (not you have to or you must, etc.) So for those who say it isn't right to tell someone else what to do with their hair, that's very true and that's not what I called myself doing. I call it giving sisterly advice/encouragement which is welcomed here.

So of course anyone can walk around with whatever kind of hair/ends they'd like. But it may be a good idea to put off posting about progress and new lengths. That puts others in an awkward situation, because no one wants to say something hurtful and we'd all rather give a sincere compliment.

Ditto to everything. Especially the last paragraph.

 

[Napp]

i agree. hair dosent have to be blunt but a wee trim does wonders even if you section your hair off and just cut some of the pointy tips. it helps GREATLY. please if my ends look nasty dont be afraid to tell me

 

[Iansan]

I would like to trim but the last "trim" I got last year resulted in a six inch cut. I'm scared to try out anyone new and I haven't gotten the courage to do it myself.

 

[KiniKakes]

I do that too. I was just hoping that you didn't think for a moment that I was talkin' 'bout you.

No, I didnt.

However, I must admit, my own unresolved feelings of shame/guilt for being one of those who DID cling on to thin, damaged ends (in the past) probably did make me a tad more defensive than i should have been. But nope, i knew you werent girl! *hugs*

And even if you did have certain folks in mind, i think the important point that u mentioned (above) is when u stated that it's all said in love, and from a sisterly/encouraging perspective. I think THAT is the important piece, and what makes ure advice appropriate and supportive as opposed to anything other than that.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Hmmm...this is interesting.

I've never clung to ends for dear life because I don't think I've ever been that attached to my length, but there WAS a time recently when I went a looooong time without straightening my hair and my ends were AWFUL. I cut about 2 inches and it looked much better and behaved much better.


So, I agree with the ladies who suggest trims for health purposes...the appearance is a matter of personal preference. IMO.

 

[crazydaze911]

Sorry but you are wrong !!! There is nothing wrong with V shape...That is the natural growth pattern for most people...Blunt and even cuts are a preference...There are people who when they get cuts get their hair cut in a V or U shape because it is considered natural...

Most of us were referring to split damaged ends..And if hair is a W...that is from breakage the is not a natural growth pattern......I may cut blunt and I may not I like my V shape at the moment......

sorry, i like v's. i said SERIOUS v shapes. meaning its a real real thin v (doesnt look like a purposeful v). like if the first pic in my siggy came to a sharper point..

 

[SparklingFlame]

Ummm...1) Most of the ladies up in here saying, &quot;I did it&quot; are not the ones the OP is talking about and ya'll heffas need to put the scissors down naw! I mean, Hairpy...StillALady... pluheese!

2) I think it is perfectly okay to hold on to your ends as LONG as you want to...BUT, nevamind, this is a good thread and I'm not trying to get it locked up.

Nah, man. Them ends was seriously splittin'!!! LOL!!! They needed ta go!

 

[LivingDoll]

I'm not trying to be mean, really--but I've seen some pics and it looks like some of us are putting up with some horrendous ends for the sake of length. We're sisters here, so let me tell it like it is--your BSL or MBL hair doesn't really look good/is not impressive with the ends eaten away. Trust me, it will look much better with neat ends. I'm not saying your ends have to be as thick as the rest of the hair, but perhaps just need a little neatening up.

I know there are about 50leven of y'all out there that have been wanting to say this same thing, so now I've said it for you.

We want health and length ladies.

Now go out and do the right thing!

ITA...thanks for saying this Supergirl. I thought I was the only one who noticed. I know that my hair is short and all but I need a trim myself. I don't want to get one but my hair isn't looking as optimally healthy as it should. It will payoff in the end. I don't want to cut off my progress but I'm sure the stylist will go easy on me (he loves long hair)...

 

[hothair]

Oooh I dusted my ends a few weeks ago cause my hair was tangling and its good as new I'm a recovering scissor addict so I impressed myself with not letting scissors in my hair since my BC (march 2007) AND cutting less than a quarter inch

 

[septemberbaby]

This is a great thread. My last trim was in October '07. I have thin ends. They're not so much damaged but they are thinning out as my hair gets longer. I'm finally making progress (again) and I'm afraid to let them go.
I'm also afraid to let my stylist trim because:
a) she is scissor happy
b) straight up told me false truths after my last touch-up:

Her: are you getting a trim today?
Me: no, next time
Her: you need to get a trim mami otherwise your hair won't grow
Me: :shock:
I couldn't believe my ears. What the heck do ends have to do with roots? After she said that, I knew for sure that I wasn't letting her come near my head with a pair of scissors.

Now if I knew how to dust my ends myself or found someone to dust my ends I'd have no worries.

I really don't know what to do.....I just made shoulder length. erplexed

ETA: Thanks Supergirl.

 

[MD_Lady]

I'm not trying to be mean, really--but I've seen some pics and it looks like some of us are putting up with some horrendous ends for the sake of length. We're sisters here, so let me tell it like it is--your BSL or MBL hair doesn't really look good/is not impressive with the ends eaten away. Trust me, it will look much better with neat ends. I'm not saying your ends have to be as thick as the rest of the hair, but perhaps just need a little neatening up.

I know there are about 50leven of y'all out there that have been wanting to say this same thing, so now I've said it for you.

We want health and length ladies.

Now go out and do the right thing!

I'm going to keep this in mind when I get my hair done in a few weeks. When my hair is straight, it reaches the tops of my shoulders. However, it's fine and uneven so can never truly show off it's length. In the beginning, I told myself that my main goal was to get everything even and THEN worry about length. The last cut I got was back in August and I was SO much happier with the appearance of my hair, even though it was shorter.

 

[hot_pepper96]

I actually have to tell my stylist when to trim. She neatens up my layers on the top and she only trims an inch off the back (and I leave and I don't even notice any change in length). Regular trims keep my hair looking fuller. I also dust at home if I see some sections starting to look stringy at the ends.

 

[Eisani]

Amen, amen, sista! I think the same thing all the time but don't want to come off as rude or abrasive, which I have a tendency to be perceived as (because it is true sometimes ). I also keep it to myself because one person told me before this is the LONG hair care forum, not healthy hair forum WTF? Length cannot be attained, nor retained, without HEALTH first!! Anyhoo, I'll be dusting today after 6 months and I cannot wait until work is over!

 

[Aggie]

I don't have a problem showing yawl my bad, uneven ends because, I need to have pics of the good, the bad, and the ugly to know when I'm getting real progress. I posted them up in my fotki to keep me in line with how my progress is going and it lets me know when I am in dire need of a trim. In fact, I just had a fotki friend commented on the differences in the pics of my hair from when I started in October of last year to the present. I was very pleased that I kept those pictures of my ugly ends and have something to compare them too later.

By no means am I knocking what you are saying Supergirl, but I think that we should have pics of both the good and the bad. By all means, I agree totally in cutting/trimming straggly looking ends that are super ugly and not to mention, more damaging to our hair in the long run. It's just not worth keeping just to have length if it's ugly.

ETA: I know that I am in need of a trim, but I will not do so until next month and even then, I am only getting it dusted.

 

[mnemosyne]

I don't know who to trust with my ends at the moment and I certainly wouldn't want the first trim in years to be done by me! :locks:

I figure it would be best to wait for my next relaxer as my new growth is probably uneven as well.

 

[Supergirl]

I don't have a problem showing yawl my bad, uneven ends because, I need to have pics of the good, the bad, and the ugly to know when I'm getting real progress. I posted them up in my fotki to keep me in line with how my progress is going and it lets me know when I am in dire need of a trim. In fact, I just had a fotki friend commented on the differences in the pics of my hair from when I started in October of last year to the present. I was very pleased that I kept those pictures of my ugly ends and have something to compare them too later.

By no means am I knocking what you are saying Supergirl, but I think that we should have pics of both the good and the bad. By all means, I agree totally in cutting/trimming straggly looking ends that are super ugly and not to mention, more damaging to our hair in the long run. It's just not worth keeping just to have length if it's ugly.

ETA: I know that I am in need of a trim, but I will not do so until next month and even then, I am only getting it dusted.

I'm looking at your ends in your siggy and no my dear, you are not in the number! Seriously, the hair I was referring to is obviously and without question or doubt having serious ends issues. Your ends look normal to me. So unless there's something you know that we don't know and that your siggy pic isn't showing, you're not having ends issues.

 

[poookie]

i know i need to trim off at least 2 full inches. my ends aren't terribly thin, but they do look scraggly. however, i don't usually wear my hair down.... maybe 2 or 3 times a month MAX... and even then i wear it curled so my ends are hidden...

so i shall not be doing much more than SLIGHT dusting until i hit my goal (APL).

i know healthy hair is important, but my ragged ends aren't going to kill anybody, not even me. i'll be okay.

 

[ladylibra]

for those who felt they were being chastised - please don't! i am a big supporter of growing out hair and not trimming off your growth too frequently. people will gawk more and long HEALTHY hair than long scraggly hair. i'm not saying we gotta have perfect blunt-cut hair at all times. i think the OP was just making the point that you wanna look at the whole picture, not just length for the sake of length.

least that's what i took it as...

cuz y'all know i don't trim for 12 months at a time, so ill be the last one saying somebody needs to get frequent trims as i don't see any knots or splits... but the moment i notice a split end or single-strand knot, i snip it off.

 

[Aggie]

I'm looking at your ends in your siggy and no my dear, you are not in the number! Seriously, the hair I was referring to is obviously and without question or doubt having serious ends issues. Your ends look normal to me. So unless there's something you know that we don't know and that your siggy pic isn't showing, you're not having ends issues.

Thank you for these kind and encouraging words. Bless your heart.

 

[NYAmicas]

I haven' trimmed or cut in a long time.....*looks at ends*, I think I'm good.

 

[SVT]

I'm not trying to be mean, really--but I've seen some pics and it looks like some of us are putting up with some horrendous ends for the sake of length. We're sisters here, so let me tell it like it is--your BSL or MBL hair doesn't really look good/is not impressive with the ends eaten away. Trust me, it will look much better with neat ends. I'm not saying your ends have to be as thick as the rest of the hair, but perhaps just need a little neatening up.

I know there are about 50leven of y'all out there that have been wanting to say this same thing, so now I've said it for you.

We want health and length ladies.

Now go out and do the right thing!

Supergirl is speaking the truth but I'm still mad at her!

I trimmed mine a while back because, well, it shonuff needed it! Ooooweee!

My ends feel much healthier now.

 

[TaraDyan]

I haven't had a trim since my medium chop last September ... and I'm not planning to have another until this September. Luckily, my ends have no splits (protective styling, baby).

 

[ACRawlins]

OMG!!! I'm soooooo happy you said something. I'm a newbie and didn't want to offend anyone, but it is my BIGGEST pet peeve regarding hair and has been for years!!!

It is so sad to me when I see those broken off ends. That hair has no shape, no style, no movement and looks unkempt. Sisters, I love you all tremendously, but it's only hair and WILL grow back. Trust that you will absolutely fall in love with your hair all over again with beautiful ends...

 

[Supergirl]

I haven't had a trim since my medium chop last September ... and I'm not planning to have another until this September. Luckily, my ends have no splits (protective styling, baby).

Wow, are you serious that you haven't trimmed since September? Your ends look fab! You are doing the doggone thing. So, would you like to be the new poster child for protective styling?

 

[Vshanell]

I'm not trying to be mean, really--but I've seen some pics and it looks like some of us are putting up with some horrendous ends for the sake of length. We're sisters here, so let me tell it like it is--your BSL or MBL hair doesn't really look good/is not impressive with the ends eaten away. Trust me, it will look much better with neat ends. I'm not saying your ends have to be as thick as the rest of the hair, but perhaps just need a little neatening up.

I know there are about 50leven of y'all out there that have been wanting to say this same thing, so now I've said it for you.

We want health and length ladies.

Now go out and do the right thing!

I have to agree. My ends are not fab but I've never thought that it was good to hang onto bad thin ends. I did this in high school and my ends were chewed up and horrible.....never grew. You don't have to take much off to neaten it up either. Just do some small dustings here and there if you don't want to take the plunge. Dustings really don't take much off of the length anyway.

 

[Supergirl]

I have to agree. My ends are not fab but I've never thought that it was good to hang onto bad thin ends. I did this in high school and my ends were chewed up and horrible.....never grew. You don't have to take much off to neaten it up either. Just do some small dustings here and there if you don't want to take the plunge. Dustings really don't take much off of the length anyway.

Poka, your ends are fine too.

I wish I could find a pic (of someone not on this board) with the kind of chewed ends I'm speaking of. Then y'all could see that it's really really bad.

 

[Jynkx]

Indeedly. And a picture isn't going to show the difference between the two - esp. since everyone's hair/layers progresses at different rates. I have natural layers. The difference between the bottom of my crown layer and the bottom of my nape layer is well over 6 inches - I have a big head, too . It's going to be a long time after never before I cut off six inches of perfectly healthy hair - esp. since I'm not chasing a blunt cut.

I don't know. It seems rather rude and pushy to try to tell other grown women when they should cut their hair just to fit your view of what hair should look like - I'm pretty sure, just like being fat, there's no need to point out that their ends are thin, as they are QUITE aware of the fact.

But that's me.

ITA. everyone should do what makes them feel good. i dont trim. thats just me though.

 

[Sha76]

I totally agree. I just cut off a good bit of my hair as well to get rid of thin damaged ends. It hurt but it had to be done.

In the end, it looks like my hair again.