Encouragement to Go Ahead and Trim

[Cichelle]

I don't trim and won't trim. Haven't touched scissors in close to three years and counting. I have layers from my big chop, so my hair isn't the same thickness all the way down. And I don't care that it isn't. I have definitely thought and talked about cutting at various times, mostly out of frustration or boredom. But I always put it off and never do it. I highly doubt I will ever really put scissors to my hair unless I see that it is damaged.

And I happen to like "fairytale ends", and actually would love to have them one day. I also like a v shaped hemline. My original inspiration when I decided to grow my hair to waist length was a woman with curly hair that fell down her back in a v. I thought it was beautiful.

I don't have split ends...so why in the world would I trim them? Doesn't make one bit of difference to me what someone else thinks. I'm here at hip length for certain reasons and one of those reasons is I stay away from the scissors.

Also...why would anyone care whether my ends are even or otherwise to their liking? It's my hair. I just don't get that.

 

[balisi]

I'm guilty of wanting to say this but I didn't have the balls (literally).

Same here, especially with me being a stylist and all. You know that hairstylist = devil incarnate on this here forum. I don't push trims on anyone, I just grin and bear it and let the client come to this conclusion on her own.

 

[Country gal]

My hair looks much better when my ends are dusted. I recently had my hair trimmed. It looks so much better.

 

[Country gal]

I don't trim and won't trim. Haven't touched scissors in close to three years and counting. I have layers from my big chop, so my hair isn't the same thickness all the way down. And I don't care that it isn't. I have definitely thought and talked about cutting at various times, mostly out of frustration or boredom. But I always put it off and never do it. I highly doubt I will ever really put scissors to my hair unless I see that it is damaged.

And I happen to like "fairytale ends", and actually would love to have them one day. I also like a v shaped hemline. My original inspiration when I decided to grow my hair to waist length was a woman with curly hair that fell down her back in a v. I thought it was beautiful.

I don't have split ends...so why in the world would I trim them? Doesn't make one bit of difference to me what someone else thinks. I'm here at hip length for certain reasons and one of those reasons is I stay away from the scissors.

Also...why would anyone care whether my ends are even or otherwise to their liking? It's my hair. I just don't get that.

Do you wear your hair curly mostly? I wore my hair in it's natural state and didn't care about trimming. I noticed when I wore it straight the ends did look a little raggedy. I trim at least 1 a year or twice a year. Your hair is beautiful

 

[Ebony Majesty]

sometimes i think that but I never wear my hair down
my sig pic looks like that because it is not bone straight (i can never get it like that anymore)
i'll cut when i do the BC

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

I am not an advocate of requent trims but a couple of times per year is a must. Not trimming damaged ends for the sake of holding on to length is a no no but if your hair is healthy and it just growing uneven that a completely different story.

As a stylist I respect my clients wishes not to trim and a trim is a trim not a haircut and I show my clients exactly the amount I will cut and we agree upon it before I start.

 

[KiniKakes]

Indeedly. I don't trim, and I won't trim, no matter how 'thin' my ends are, unless they are unhealthy - ie. split/damaged.
Why? Because, in the long run, the thin ends will fill out without delaying my progress, but the snipsnips delay me, and because of how my hair grows, won't insure that my ends 'stay' full........
Thanks for the encouragement, but I'll maintain my patience and allow my hair to grow in it's own way and it's own time, and trim when I feel the need to.....

I think this is a really important point that you bring up, and I agree.

There is a difference between thin, broken off, split ends...... and hair that thins toward the ends but isn't split or broken. I think that the former needs to be cut, as you can't repair the ends at this point. However, i think that sometimes we are too quick to cut off the latter when, if you continue to nurture your hair and wait some months, you will find that as your hair grows all over it catches up and eventually fills in. (I think i explained that very poorly, but i have heard Chicoro or Cichelle i think?, explain it way better. She is someone who trims only minimally, and just waits for her hair to fill in, and her WL hair looks thick and FANTASTIC). Anyway, some people are actually waiting for this to happen. I think too often we assume ppl are clinging on to ends that are damaged and split, for the sake of length.

Now mind you, i was one of those people who used to be afraid to trim (that is, until i fell in love with how my hair looked freshly trimmed, lol). So im definitely aware that these people DO exist. But i know that there are other ladies who have a definite "plan" in mind, and while they know their ends arent in the best shape, they plan to wait and let it grow some more (JadedCyniscm comes to mind, as i know she has let her thin ends remain during her grow out process, and i have seen this work out VERY well for her, as her hair did even out eventually as it grew). So, some of these women actually have a calcuated reason for not trimming right away.

I guess my point is that i dont think it's fair that we knock those ladies. Everyone's hair journey is not going to take the same path, and who are we to criticize someone else's progress while they are still IN the process of growing it out? Who knows how it will look when it's all said and done. *shrug* Jmo.

 

[KiniKakes]

i think we need to clarify the difference between THIN ends, and DAMAGED ends. sometimes as your hair grows out, certain hairs grow longer before others. this will give the appearance of uneven hair, but it does not mean your ends are damaged or eaten up. in this case, trimming is not for getting rid of unhealthy ends, but for cleaning up the appearance of your hair. now if you see splits, knots, scraggly dry messed-up ends... you are trimming to get rid of the damage.

i understand holding on to heathy ends that are a little thin because only half your hair has made it to WL and the other half is a few inches shy. i do NOT understand holding onto 6 inches of bad-looking ends just for the sake of saying you are WL.

This i agree with.

 

[Cichelle]

Do you wear your hair curly mostly? I wore my hair in it's natural state and didn't care about trimming. I noticed when I wore it straight the ends did look a little raggedy. I trim at least 1 a year or twice a year. Your hair is beautiful

Thank you!

Yeah, I never straighten my hair and I wear it up mostly. If I wore it straight, I might find that it was uneven, but the thing is...I would have a lot of hesitancy to cut healthy hair. If it's split or otherwise damaged, then I can see cutting it, but even then, I'd rather do S&D than to chop off the healthy hair with the split hair.

I know too many people who say they want their hair to grow long but don't like that it grows unevenly. There is nothing damaged about their ends, but they consistently cut to "thicken them up". Of course, the hair grows back the same way and they repeat the cycle....all the while wondering why their hair isn't longer.

People should do what they want. If someone likes their ends a specific way, they should trim if that's what suits them. It just doesn't suit me at this time.

 

[nomoweavesfome]

well, - people can do what they want and opinions are highly subjective. In my case, I know I need more than a trim but I won't either because I do not wear my hair down everyday and I baby my hair. I will eventually CUT 2 inches when I reach MY goal. And that's my final answer.

 

[KiniKakes]

well, - people can do what they want and opinions are highly subjective. In my case, I know I need more than a trim but I won't either because I do not wear my hair down everyday and I baby my hair. I will eventually CUT 2 inches when I reach MY goal. And that's my final answer.

What bothers me is that folks even have to JUSTIFY themselves, ya know? My goodness! I think we all know a lil' something about healthy hair at this point, being on the board. So, equipped with that knowledge.... as Cichelle said, it's your hair.... trim if you want. Keep damaged or uneven ends if you want. *sigh* Sure, if you opt for the latter, ppl may snicker or have things to say. But it's still your perogative, and i think its unfortunate that people are having to explain themselves/their reasoning. You know what i mean?

 

[gymfreak336]

What bothers me is that folks even have to JUSTIFY themselves, ya know? My goodness! I think we all know a lil' something about healthy hair at this point, being on the board. So, equipped with that knowledge.... as Cichelle said, it's your hair.... trim if you want. Keep damaged or uneven ends if you want. *sigh* Sure, if you opt for the latter, ppl may snicker or have things to say. But it's still your perogative, and i think its unfortunate that people are having to explain themselves/their reasoning. You know what i mean?

I understand what you are saying BUT sometimes, when the hair is damaged, you can do more harm in the long run by holding on to it until the cows come home. I have seen alot of threads where the op has to cut off more than they would have liked because they held on to damaged hair longers than they should have. Sometimes they post, asking for advice because their hair keeps breaking or whatever and there comes a point where conditioner isn't going to fix it and it might just need to go.

 

[KiniKakes]

I understand what you are saying BUT sometimes, when the hair is damaged, you can do more harm in the long run by holding on to it until the cows come home. I have seen alot of threads where the op has to cut off more than they would have liked because they held on to damaged hair longers than they should have. Sometimes they post, asking for advice because their hair keeps breaking or whatever and there comes a point where conditioner isn't going to fix it and it might just need to go.

Right! I agree with u completely. That's why, when hanging on to your ends, its important to figure out if they really are split and damaged... or if they have just thinned out some but aren't split/broken. And i think, as ure pointing out, too many women make the mistake of hanging on for dear life.... when the ends really are beyond being salvaged. It's a fine line.....

 

[gymfreak336]

Right! I agree with u completely. That's why, when hanging on to your ends, its important to figure out if they really are split and damaged... or if they have just thinned out some but aren't split/broken. And i think, as ure pointing out, too many women make the mistake of hanging on for dear life.... when the ends really are beyond being salvaged. It's a fine line.....

You got that right *sings* Its a thin line.....between love and hate

 

[KiniKakes]

You got that right *sings* Its a thin line.....between love and hate

 

[Evazhair]

I don't believe in holding on to damaged hair and splits, so I don't.Thank God I know now how to avoid it. It is also important to distinguish between hair that grows in layers and hair that is "thinned out due to breakage and damage" If you want to grow out hair that grows in layers, you have to trim only what is damaged/split or you are spinning your wheels I am proof of that. I don't like telling others what to do with their hair. Like Balisi said, I would rather let others come to those conclusions on their own. This discussion is interesting though, because I have noticed recently that some really believe anything but blunt ends=damaged/thinning, which is not always the case.

 

[cmw45]

Ummm...1) Most of the ladies up in here saying, "I did it" are not the ones the OP is talking about and ya'll heffas need to put the scissors down naw! I mean, Hairpy...StillALady... pluheese!

2) I think it is perfectly okay to hold on to your ends as LONG as you want to...BUT, nevamind, this is a good thread and I'm not trying to get it locked up.

 

[LondonDiva]

You're right, I cut mine off. It hurt, but it HAD to be done

ETA:: I need to update my avitar pic

ETAA:: Since I got trimmed, I no longer have been having breakage- just normal shedding

So true. Trust me I'm so glad I made the cut, and OMG I thought my hair was thick before the cut. It's the best thing I did for my hair, plus it will look great too.

 

[cmw45]

I think this is a really important point that you bring up, and I agree.

There is a difference between thin, broken off, split ends...... and hair that thins toward the ends but isn't split or broken. I think that the former needs to be cut, as you can't repair the ends at this point. However, i think that sometimes we are too quick to cut off the latter when, if you continue to nurture your hair and wait some months, you will find that as your hair grows all over it catches up and eventually fills in. (I think i explained that very poorly, but i have heard Chicoro or Cichelle i think?, explain it way better. She is someone who trims only minimally, and just waits for her hair to fill in, and her WL hair looks thick and FANTASTIC). Anyway, some people are actually waiting for this to happen. I think too often we assume ppl are clinging on to ends that are damaged and split, for the sake of length.

Now mind you, i was one of those people who used to be afraid to trim (that is, until i fell in love with how my hair looked freshly trimmed, lol). So im definitely aware that these people DO exist. But i know that there are other ladies who have a definite "plan" in mind, and while they know their ends arent in the best shape, they plan to wait and let it grow some more (JadedCyniscm comes to mind, as i know she has let her thin ends remain during her grow out process, and i have seen this work out VERY well for her, as her hair did even out eventually as it grew). So, some of these women actually have a calcuated reason for not trimming right away.

I guess my point is that i dont think it's fair that we knock those ladies. Everyone's hair journey is not going to take the same path, and who are we to criticize someone else's progress while they are still IN the process of growing it out? Who knows how it will look when it's all said and done. *shrug* Jmo.

You know, you are right. Everyone is entitled to hold on to their ends as long as they want to BUT, if you start a thread saying that you reached BSL with like two strands of hair touching and then ASK what people think, don't get upset if I stay silent. I mean...

One young woman put a message in my fotki to let me know her album was updated to show her BSL progress and I can't even express how poorly her hair looked. I mean, what was I suposed to say? I just said, "Keep up the good work. Luv, C." I mean, the intention is never to be hurtful...and I don't think this thread was meant to do that...but what would you say? Soror, if my ends looked terrible and I have a horrible shaped W, would you let me know?

 

[Highly Favored8]

Every 3 months I get my relaxer my stylist trims my ends.

 

[KiniKakes]

Soror, if my ends looked terrible and I have a horrible shaped W, would you let me know?

I would never tell anyone that their hair looks terrible; i would choose either to remain silent or, depending upon my relationship with that person, give some encouraging advice based on whether i think hanging on to those ends will ultimately be best for them in the long run. Because remember, i think sometimes it can be helpful... while other times it does more harm than good.

Ure points are well taken though! lol @ 2 strands touching BSL. Good heavens!

 

[PinkPeony]

Right! I agree with u completely. That's why, when hanging on to your ends, its important to figure out if they really are split and damaged... or if they have just thinned out some but aren't split/broken. And i think, as ure pointing out, too many women make the mistake of hanging on for dear life.... when the ends really are beyond being salvaged. It's a fine line.....

I wholeheartly agree with this

 

[girlyprincess23]

so true!!!! i haven't had one in a year and i am itching....it doesn't look BAD but it doesn't look good either. Im getting one asap!!!!!

 

[bluefolli]

Thanks Cichelle and KK and others on the same vibe, coming in here and posting. I thought I was alone in my thinking...

Thank you!

Yeah, I never straighten my hair and I wear it up mostly. If I wore it straight, I might find that it was uneven, but the thing is...I would have a lot of hesitancy to cut healthy hair. If it's split or otherwise damaged, then I can see cutting it, but even then, I'd rather do S&D than to chop off the healthy hair with the split hair.

I know too many people who say they want their hair to grow long but don't like that it grows unevenly. There is nothing damaged about their ends, but they consistently cut to "thicken them up". Of course, the hair grows back the same way and they repeat the cycle....all the while wondering why their hair isn't longer.

People should do what they want. If someone likes their ends a specific way, they should trim if that's what suits them. It just doesn't suit me at this time.

 

[CandacyEliz]

Although I don't post pictures much, I am one who is holding on to my
thin(ner) ends only because it is now easier for me to grow out my hair (bun, ponytail etc) at this length versus a shorter do. I also have about 4 months worth of newgrowth so my texlaxed ends look thin in comparison.

Surprisingly, split ends are few/far in between. I am proud of the journey me and my hair are going through... I almost have full, healthy (but not blunt), shoulder length hair And I'm not sure if now is the time to cut/trim it

 

[bluefolli]

What bothers me is that folks even have to JUSTIFY themselves, ya know? My goodness! I think we all know a lil' something about healthy hair at this point, being on the board. So, equipped with that knowledge.... as Cichelle said, it's your hair.... trim if you want. Keep damaged or uneven ends if you want. *sigh* Sure, if you opt for the latter, ppl may snicker or have things to say. But it's still your perogative, and i think its unfortunate that people are having to explain themselves/their reasoning. You know what i mean?

Very unfortunate. I just hope that no one's feelings are hurt from this thread. Hair is serious business to some of us or we wouldn't have joined a hair board.

 

[trendybosschicebz]

I definately agree with the OP. I have thought this on so many occasions. I think it goes without saying that people have the perogative to do what they wish with their hair. IMO, it takes aways from your hair when you have see through ends and split ends that are clearly visable. Id rather compromise my length and have healthy and full hair.

 

[Supergirl]

I definately agree with the OP. I have thought this on so many occasions. I think it goes without saying that people have the perogative to do what they wish with their hair. IMO, it takes aways from your hair when you have see through ends and split ends that are clearly visable. Id rather compromise my length and have healthy and full hair.

Yes, I was kind of assuming that the ladies here were intelligent enough to know this regardless of the ideas expressed in this thread.

A few points based on some of the posts in this thread:

*to have nice ends does not mean your hair has to be blunt cut
*to have nice ends does not mean your hair has to be the same thickness from root to tip
*the ends I'm referring to in the original post are unmistakeably (sp?) in need of some help
*I don't believe in going overboard with scissors.
*I think it's <insert word> to start a thread about reaching APL, BSL, MBL, etc. when your ends are torn up (which is probably the main reason for this thread) I mean if it's just to impress others, we'd sincerely probably be more impressed with hair that is shorter but has nice ends.
*I'm not telling anyone what to do. Remember the title of the thread begins with the word encouragement. (not you have to or you must, etc.) So for those who say it isn't right to tell someone else what to do with their hair, that's very true and that's not what I called myself doing. I call it giving sisterly advice/encouragement which is welcomed here.

So of course anyone can walk around with whatever kind of hair/ends they'd like. But it may be a good idea to put off posting about progress and new lengths. That puts others in an awkward situation, because no one wants to say something hurtful and we'd all rather give a sincere compliment.

 

[KiniKakes]

Yes, I was kind of assuming that the ladies here were intelligent enough to know this regardless of the ideas expressed in this thread.

A few points based on some of the posts in this thread:

*to have nice ends does not mean your hair has to be blunt cut
*to have nice ends does not mean your hair has to be the same thickness from root to tip
*the ends I'm referring to in the original post are unmistakeably (sp?) in need of some help
*I don't believe in going overboard with scissors.
*I think it's <insert word> to start a thread about reaching APL, BSL, MBL, etc. when your ends are torn up (which is probably the main reason for this thread) I mean if it's just to impress others, we'd sincerely probably be more impressed with hair that is shorter but has nice ends.
*I'm not telling anyone what to do. Remember the title of the thread begins with the word encouragement. (not you have to or you must, etc.) So for those who say it isn't right to tell someone else what to do with their hair, that's very true and that's not what I called myself doing. I call it giving sisterly advice/encouragement which is welcomed here.

So of course anyone can walk around with whatever kind of hair/ends they'd like. But it may be a good idea to put off posting about progress and new lengths. That puts others in an awkward situation, because no one wants to say something hurtful and we'd all rather give a sincere compliment.

Gotcha Supergirl. Points taken, and well stated.

 

[Supergirl]

Gotcha Supergirl. Points taken, and well stated.

Yeah, you get on now! You're one of the folks that is an excellent model/example for beautiful ends.