Encouragement needed, very frustrated

[Keshieshimmer]

My frustration comes from my Mom's hair journey. She went natural almost three years ago due to ignorance on her part and a umm...'special' stylist. She grew out her hair using braids and now her natural hair is shoulder length.

She always asks me what products to use so I suggest some that I hear good raves on. I don't live near her and she is very very old school so her + computer= bad idea. I don't know much about natural hair (I am only 6 months into my transition). When I ask her how a product works she just says 'it was alright.'

For instance she is now doing low manipulation styling by way of 2-strand twist-outs but she never lets her hair air dry and when she gets tired with the twist-outs she blowdries and flat irons. She also works out now and complains of puffy hair (she is in Florida). I suggested Eco-styler gel for her edges, then she tells me that she put the gel throughout her hair. oy vey!

I know what the problem is she is treating her natural hair as relaxed. If I am this frustrated I can just imagine how she feels.

Who has dealt with this?

 

[Whimsy]

Hmmm... if she's doin more harm than good to her natural hair, maybe you can research some quality natural hair care salons in her area of FL that she could visit for help.

Sorry she's frustrating you.

 

[loolalooh]

Cosign on the salon thing. My mom is kind of similar and ended going back to a relaxer. I encourage her to go the salon, and so far, they've been treating her hair well. It's healthier than it was when she did it herself.

I know salons usually get a bad rep, but in this situation, finding a good salon (not just any salon) may be best for her.

 

[Nonie]

My mom has never wanted long hair; just a little afro...but she would always press and set her hair. And when she didn't, she'd wear it stretched after braids. Her "moisturizers" were dry products like grease. Whenever she'd wash her hair, she'd blow dry it to get it stretched a bit so she could comb it. Then she'd plait it nightly and combe it out.

This was what her hair looked like when I met her:

This is what her hair looked like after I was done with her:

And she gave up using heat to set her hair and was happy to be able to change her hair to this w/o heat:

She now wears her hair the way I taught her and is so happy to have found a KISS regimen.

What does she do? Shampoo, condition and apply S Curl to damp hair and comb. In the evening when her hair is completely dry, it feels a bit dry so she applies S Curl and plaits it then baggies. In the morning, hairs combs so easily. No knots, no tangles, no headaches. And it is starting from Day 2 after the wash that her hair comes into its own and looks and feel soft and beautiful. And she never has to apply anything else till wash day.

The "straight do" was achieved with Curlformers. We were still experimenting with them, so we hadn't yet figured out what product would be best to use. I think here we just DC'd with heat and then applied something (I can't remember what...but it wasn't wet like S Curl). We haven't perfected this yet, but she was so happy with it and hasn't used heat since 2007.

I'm sure her hair could be long if she didn't get it trimmed to keep it short, but her regimen is easier than ever and her hair healthier than ever.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

Thanks so much. She lives in Daytona Beach so I am not sure what they have available as far as healthy styling salons. She is coming to visit me in a week and we are going to have an ATL person do her hair. She likes her hair straight (no puffyness or halo-effect), I put DreamHair BKT but I don't think that I used to right kind on her.

 

[Hair2Here]

I workout regularly and wash my hair often. I'm a 4a natural (for 10 years). I wear a wash-n-go ponytail. I slick my hair back with EcoStyler gel after I wash. And yes, I part and apply in good portions. During the week, I co-wash with a cheapie conditioner and slick it back again. At night, I spray it with a moisturizer (to soften my hair back up) and bag my hair up at night. When I wake up in the mornings, my hair is extra soft and I apply EcoStyler gel on it again to slick it back down again. The gel lays down my hair nicely and makes it appear that I have good hair (lol). I go through jars of the stuff and BJs carries it cheap. Applying it to my hair is good for my natural hair and I've been doing this since December, 2009. It works for me extremely well. I never comb my hair with the gel in my hair or touch my hair while it is hard. The Moisturizer at night and bagging it up is good for natural hair. I use Carefree Instant Moisturizer, Carefree Curl Activator or H-Silky. I do have to use a good amout of Eco-Styler though. I didn't have time to include a pic but there is one in my album of a pic w/o EcoStyler and one with. The difference is noticeable. Also, tell moms to leave the flat iron alone. (he-he) Hth!!!