Golong,
If I were you, I'd stop trying to figure out this guy (and all guys). I speak not from a judgemental standpoint but from an experiential one. I remember once I attended this class given by the YWCA on how to tutor adults to read. There was a guy in the class who showed much interest in me. I was very flattered. We exchanged phone numbers. Talked on the phone a few times. All of a sudden, the phone calls just stopped. That was when I was in my twenties. And like most twenty-something females, I thought something was wrong with me. Why did he stop calling? Did I do or say something that offended him? Am I too tall? Too short? Too skinny? Too fat?
About a month later, I saw him on an independent Christian television station sitting at a table with four other church members discussing marriage from a Biblical perspective. He was the "youngest" member who had just gotten married. He was giving his opinion from the young point of view.
TRIPPED . . . ME . . . OUT!!!
But I did learn from the experience. And no, I don't believe that all men are dogs. I've learned that EVERY man is different and EVERY situation is different. By trying to categorize each man in the same box, is the same thing that whites do when they try to categorize all blacks in the same box. We as blacks are all different, our experiences are different, our temperments are different, so for the majority to expect one black opinion to represent blacks as a whole is unfair and totally biased.
Likewise, when we observe good black men act one way with their women, and then ask these men why the black man we are dealing with acts so "trifling," we are apt to get many very different answers and views, which only adds to our confusion.
I'm willing to bet your co-worker really does not want to get married. For if he did, he would be proud of it and EVERYONE at work would know about it. Don't fret, because I'm willing to bet that once he does get married, his marriage will not be a happy one.
I'm not sure if you remember the Oprah show from a few years ago where she had several men who were explaining why they cheated. There was a brother on this show who stated that he was dating several women simultaneously when one of them gave him an ultimatum: marry her or it is over. He agreed and before the marriage he met with each of the women he was dating to tell them he was getting married and that he would no longer be available. One of these women responded to him by saying that his getting married didn't matter to her, she would continue to date him even after he married. (I am not going to even begin to postulate about her willingness to continue seeing a man who chose someone else to marry.) They continued to date and according to him, he was with her the night before (or it may have been the night of) he got married. So just because a man marries a woman, does not mean that he is necessarily committed to her. I think a lot of women believe that because a man marries her, then she has him. NOT TRUE. Which is why I believe so many people who are married are miserable.
I believe that a man commits himself to his wife long before the actual ceremony. Which is why I refuse to force a man's hand when it comes to commitment. I've been in love before and I know it to be a beautiful thing. Just like God doesn't force us to love Him, I don't think it is right for us to force (or try to anyway) any man to love us. I highly recommend the book, He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt to any woman who makes excuses for her guy.
I know it is difficult. But try your best to move on. Thank God you found your co-worker out before you became too emotionally invested. Don't take it personal because from what you explain about this situation, it has nothing to do with you personally but with him and his relationship with his fiancee.
Learn from this situation and if you encounter it again in any shape, form, or fashion. . .
RUN, RUN FAST FROM THE INSANITY!!!!
. Can you say blindsided 
!!!!!!!!!!! Yes he did me dirty, but I really want to know how he could do this to his wife to be. 
