DON’T UNDERSTAND ‘May just give up’

[kizzylonghair]

Ladies,

I am really, really discouraged today. I am usually one these members who loves a challenge and most of the time gets through any situation.
But this time I am really knocking at ‘Give Ups’ door.

I have been on this board for nearly a year and the growth is amazing, but it’s MY ENDS.
I have had fine hair my whole life (Even with out a relaxer) and I never expect to have super thick, super strong hair.

I am 7 weeks post relaxer so I don’t expect my hair to be swinging and my ends to be perfect. But my hair just turns into a hot mess around week 5.

But look at the pictures , my ends are terrible. I have been moisturising them, oiling them, con washing, leave in con (Nexxus) and on Monday I used the reconstructor by Apohogee. Its not visibly breaking though but I am shedding a little. I have not been using heat.

My ends/hair just doesn’t sit nicely on my shoulders like everyone else, I feel like I am constantly combing my hair down. I can manage my new without no problems!!

I think that this problem could be because the first 5 inches are thicker with newgrowth and MTG usage the ends of my that have had years of abuse look thinner? Maybe I need a trim, I BC’d my hair B 4 as you will see in my album so I really don’t want to do again. I will now keep it in a BORING BUN until I relax in 4 weeks.

I just don’t know. Why cant I have decent ends.

I am tempted to just go and get a HAIRSYTLE, cut into my neck with colour and just look after it and not worry about growth. I wouldn’t stress myself out and it would look nice everyday.

Kizzy xx

 

[phynestone]

I think I know what the deal is. On the Hair Lady's website (www.growafrohairlong.com) she says that as your hair approaches shoulder-length, it is very important to start wearing it up, or in protective styles until it is a couple of inches past shoulder-length. The reason why hair starts breaking at this point is b/c it is constantly rubbing against clothing.

 

[kizzylonghair]

I think I know what the deal is. On the Hair Lady's website (www.growafrohairlong.com) she says that as your hair approaches shoulder-length, it is very important to start wearing it up, or in protective styles until it is a couple of inches past shoulder-length. The reason why hair starts breaking at this point is b/c it is constantly rubbing against clothing.

Sweetie,

You have a point, this is the first time my hair has been this length, and rubbing against my clothing.

I will continue to keep it up, it hasnt been down that much.

Kizzy

 

[Chicoro]

I would agree also that you are at one of the key transition points. Getting your hair to grow past your shoulders to mid-back can definitely be a challenge. Also, hair can look very different at different lengths. For example, when my hair was on my shoulders, the ends always curled upward and looked wispy and thin. Before coming to the board I always wore my hair up but my ends were dry and crispy until I added a thick moisturizer and the baggie method. Up until I got past my shoulders, the curl activator and protective braid style were working for me. Moving past my waist, I have different challenges. Before you give up, which I know you are not going to do, consider that this may be the first time that you are experiencing your hair at this length and your ends are reacting in a way that you will soon learn to address. Call me crazy, but I look at this as a milestone and as an accomplishment. You are moving to a space and place with your hair that you haven't been before;you are moving toward greater 'length'. Your hair is beautiful and healthy, so no matter what you do, it will look great. Hang in there!

 

[kizzylonghair]

I would agree also that you are at one of the key transition points. Getting your hair to grow past your shoulders to mid-back can definitely be a challenge. Also, hair can look very different at different lengths. For example, when my hair was on my shoulders, the ends always curled upward and looked wispy and thin. Before coming to the board I always wore my hair up but my ends were dry and crispy until I added a thick moisturizer and the baggie method. Up until I got past my shoulders, the curl activator and protective braid style were working for me. Moving past my waist, I have different challenges. Before you give up, which I know you are not going to do, consider that this may be the first time that you are experiencing your hair at this length and your ends are reacting in a way that you will soon learn to address. Call me crazy, but I look at this as a milestone and as an accomplishment. You are moving to a space and place with your hair that you haven't been before;you are moving toward greater 'length'. Your hair is beautiful and healthy, so no matter what you do, it will look great. Hang in there!

Thanks Chicoro,

Before this I had got at the stage and length that I knew how to handle my hair.
My hair is like you say at a new point that I have never experienced before and has thrown me a new challenge.
It has really freaked me out. I am hoping that I can get through this. Don’t know what I am gonna do when I relax in 4 weeks and get my usual just under 2 inches--- More hair to deal with!!!!!

Kizzy xxx

 

[kitchen_tician]

I was also going to suggest wearing it pinned up. This also happened to me, when I was growing out my layers in the front. It would always look crazy, then I would wear it pinned up for a while, and then they would look better once it grew past shoulders.

 

[KathyMay]

I am having the same problem since I took my hair out of the flat twists. I guess now the key is to wear it up but I plan to do protective styles a sew in or braids until Spring

 

[Candy_C]

I was also going to suggest wearing it pinned up. This also happened to me, when I was growing out my layers in the front. It would always look crazy, then I would wear it pinned up for a while, and then they would look better once it grew past shoulders.

i agree i have short layers i nthe front approaching shoulder length, and the ends look a lil random. i thought they needed trimming, i trimmed em like last week, and they have turned random again, no splist or anything, the hair past my shoulder n armpit looks great...so i do believe that hair wil look a bit dodgey (the ends) before they grow to shoulder or just past

 

[HoneyDew]

I hate suggesting my fav products because everything works differently for everyone, but I was having the same problem you are having. Try putting Culture Wrap and Smooth on your ends. Works wonders. I emailed them for a sample of the 7-day relaxer and they sent along with the sample a coupon for a free product. I tried this cream on my ends (same problem you are having especially in the back) and I love it. The effect lasts a few days, too. This stuff has been a blessing for me, because nothing was working. I still wear my hair up, but even when I take it down, the ends are nice. I do regularly clip my thin ends, too.

 

[Tanelions]

Please don't give up. You can do it. I don't know how many times I have seen ladies who are trying to grow out there beautiful short hair and when it gets to shoulder length it begins to change. The ends begin to rub and it shows. Try keeping it from rubbing on your clothing and your ends moisturized well. Soon you will notice a difference.

 

[aileendq]

Hi KL:

The key things that got me past shoulder length are:

1) Cutting the ends about 1 inch up, so that they are blunt and fresh.(Do this first)
2) Wearing my ends pinned up constantly, so that my hair didn't brush up against my clothes (especially in winter).
3) Oiling my ends about 2-3x a day and at night before I wrapped.
4) Dusting my ends every so often to prevent splits.
5) Applying (soaking) a heavier leave in on my ends (Cantu Shea Butter Leave In Moisturizer) before my rollersets.

DON'T GIVE UP!!!

You can do it. This is just a hump you have to get over.

HHG

 

[kizzylonghair]

I was also going to suggest wearing it pinned up. This also happened to me, when I was growing out my layers in the front. It would always look crazy, then I would wear it pinned up for a while, and then they would look better once it grew past shoulders.

Kitchen,

I really hope so

Kizzy xx

 

[kizzylonghair]

I am having the same problem since I took my hair out of the flat twists. I guess now the key is to wear it up but I plan to do protective styles a sew in or braids until Spring

I am having the same problem since I took my hair out of the flat twists. I guess now the key is to wear it up but I plan to do protective styles a sew in or braids until Spring

BUNS here I come

Thanks Ladies

Kizzy xx

 

[kizzylonghair]

I hate suggesting my fav products because everything works differently for everyone, but I was having the same problem you are having. Try putting Culture Wrap and Smooth on your ends. Works wonders. I emailed them for a sample of the 7-day relaxer and they sent along with the sample a coupon for a free product. I tried this cream on my ends (same problem you are having especially in the back) and I love it. The effect lasts a few days, too. This stuff has been a blessing for me, because nothing was working. I still wear my hair up, but even when I take it down, the ends are nice. I do regularly clip my thin ends, too.

Thank You,

Tell me more about the Culture Wrap and Smooth.
I will have a trim come relaxer time

Kizzy xx

 

[kizzylonghair]

Hi KL:

The key things that got me past shoulder length are:

1) Cutting the ends about 1 inch up, so that they are blunt and fresh.(Do this first)
2) Wearing my ends pinned up constantly, so that my hair didn't brush up against my clothes (especially in winter).
3) Oiling my ends about 2-3x a day and at night before I wrapped.
4) Dusting my ends every so often to prevent splits.
5) Applying (soaking) a heavier leave in on my ends (Cantu Shea Butter Leave In Moisturizer) before my rollersets.

DON'T GIVE UP!!!

You can do it. This is just a hump you have to get over.

HHG

Ailleen,

Thank you for your regime. I really need to try this. I am in the UK and winter has arrived so I do need to spend extra attention to my ends.

Kizzy xxx

 

[Sassygoddess]

the keep thing is keeping your ends trim. don't be afraid because you have some lenth and you don't want to give it up. i believe trimming your ends give your hair lot of body and bounce. two things that alot of black women lack in their hair.

 

[HoneyDew]

Thank You,

Tell me more about the Culture Wrap and Smooth.
I will have a trim come relaxer time

Kizzy xx

I love this stuff. My hair has just hit shoulder length and can get pretty dry and thin at the end. I love how this cream has helped. Here is the review I posted.:

Guys,

I just got using this wonderful product!! I even sent them an email praising the product.

http://www.culturecare.net/products/creme.html

I emailed the culture company a few weeks ago and asked for a sample of their 7-day relaxer. They sent me 4 samples of it and a coupon to get one of their products free (up tp $3.99).

I decided to get the Wrap and Smooth Creme. (I have not tried the samples yet)

The trouble I have with most moisturizing cream is that the ones that really leave my hair moist (i.e. Profectiv Root Health and Profectiv Break Free) tend to make my flatironed hair frizz up. The ones the don't revert my hair, (Liv, Mango Butter, and Carrot Cream) don't give me that supple softness and moist feeling I like. I do like Vitapointe, but it still does not give me that moist feeling. Some of them even make me break hair as I try to apply to the length of my hair.

This Wrap and Smooth Creme is what I looking for all wrapped in one!! And Last night after partying I did not wrap myhair up so it was kinda dry and tangled today. The Wrap and Smooth Creme has made my hair feel moist and slicked and shined w/o any greasiness.

I recommend this to anyone that has been looking for a good moisturizing cream.

I am have thick type 4 relaxed hair that is pretty healthy and w/o any rough ends.

 

[OneInAMillion]

Hey Kizzy,

I completely understand how you feel. I'm facing the same hurdles. What's helping me is stretching as long as a can (4-5 months if possible, I'm even trying to go for 6 this time). And trimming every other relaxer. I generally wear my hair down 3 days out of the week, and in a bun the rest. I don't use direct heat on my ends, and I've been oiling them up with EVOO or carrot oil 2x a day for the past 6 months or so. This is helping, but I'm nearing armpit length, and I feel like I'll never get there. Since I've never been there, I'm doubtful, and I watch my ends like a hawk! Here's a tip--I'm in my lab most of the day, and when my hair is down, I'll drape a silk scarf over my shoulders to my hair only touches the silk and not my cotton shirts.

Don't give up though, we're in this together. BTW, I think you mentioned your hair was fine...so is mine, and I've found oils to be the best thing ever for my ends. Heavy products cause breakage, and coat my ends more than anything.

 

[kizzylonghair]

I love this stuff. My hair has just hit shoulder length and can get pretty dry and thin at the end. I love how this cream has helped. Here is the review I posted.:

Guys,

I just got using this wonderful product!! I even sent them an email praising the product.

http://www.culturecare.net/products/creme.html

I emailed the culture company a few weeks ago and asked for a sample of their 7-day relaxer. They sent me 4 samples of it and a coupon to get one of their products free (up tp $3.99).

I decided to get the Wrap and Smooth Creme. (I have not tried the samples yet)

The trouble I have with most moisturizing cream is that the ones that really leave my hair moist (i.e. Profectiv Root Health and Profectiv Break Free) tend to make my flatironed hair frizz up. The ones the don't revert my hair, (Liv, Mango Butter, and Carrot Cream) don't give me that supple softness and moist feeling I like. I do like Vitapointe, but it still does not give me that moist feeling. Some of them even make me break hair as I try to apply to the length of my hair.

This Wrap and Smooth Creme is what I looking for all wrapped in one!! And Last night after partying I did not wrap myhair up so it was kinda dry and tangled today. The Wrap and Smooth Creme has made my hair feel moist and slicked and shined w/o any greasiness.

I recommend this to anyone that has been looking for a good moisturizing cream.

I am have thick type 4 relaxed hair that is pretty healthy and w/o any rough ends.

Thank You,

Been to the website look like a great product. Will check if they ship to UK or if I can find some.

Everything is worth a try

Kizzy

 

[kizzylonghair]

Hey Kizzy,

I completely understand how you feel. I'm facing the same hurdles. What's helping me is stretching as long as a can (4-5 months if possible, I'm even trying to go for 6 this time). And trimming every other relaxer. I generally wear my hair down 3 days out of the week, and in a bun the rest. I don't use direct heat on my ends, and I've been oiling them up with EVOO or carrot oil 2x a day for the past 6 months or so. This is helping, but I'm nearing armpit length, and I feel like I'll never get there. Since I've never been there, I'm doubtful, and I watch my ends like a hawk! Here's a tip--I'm in my lab most of the day, and when my hair is down, I'll drape a silk scarf over my shoulders to my hair only touches the silk and not my cotton shirts.

Don't give up though, we're in this together. BTW, I think you mentioned your hair was fine...so is mine, and I've found oils to be the best thing ever for my ends. Heavy products cause breakage, and coat my ends more than anything.

Thanks One in a Million,

Thats a good tip, Stretching has def helped my hair. I cant imagine how thin it would be if I never.

Kizzy

 

[Healthb4Length]

Kizzy, have you tried the 'baggie trick', basically you put loads of heavy moisturizer on your ends and wrap a little baggie around it and then cover it with a hair piece. This keeps your ends protected and moisturized. I too, was discouraged about my ends, I did one last night and it worked like a charm! My ends were nice and silky ( I still have to trim them but at least they are not dry and crispy) you should check out DSD (don'tspeakdefeat) album, she has excellent pics about the baggie trick and how to take care of your hair! Good luck!

 

[kizzylonghair]

Kizzy, have you tried the 'baggie trick', basically you put loads of heavy moisturizer on your ends and wrap a little baggie around it and then cover it with a hair piece. This keeps your ends protected and moisturized. I too, was discouraged about my ends, I did one last night and it worked like a charm! My ends were nice and silky ( I still have to trim them but at least they are not dry and crispy) you should check out DSD (don'tspeakdefeat) album, she has excellent pics about the baggie trick and how to take care of your hair! Good luck!

Ali

I did try the baggie , but if I am honest only for a few days so I am yet to really tried it properly.
I could give it a proper trial

Thanks Kizzy xxx

 

[Lady_Lioness]

Please don't give up. You can do it. I don't know how many times I have seen ladies who are trying to grow out there beautiful short hair and when it gets to shoulder length it begins to change. The ends begin to rub and it shows. Try keeping it from rubbing on your clothing and your ends moisturized well. Soon you will notice a difference.

I agree... when your hair starts touching your shoulders...it should be kept up and moisturized everyday so that there wouldn't be any friction between your hair and your top...this is the most vulnerable stage...try moisturizing and keeping up your hair until you've grown a few inches past shoulder length.

 

[FeelinIt]

I'm at that point too where I am becoming really impatient and wanting to just get my hair styled and forget about growth. My hair is a smidgent past shoulder and my ends are not at their best. I wear a bun mostly and I am sick of it! But until it gets to BSL, I'll be bunning it forever it seems...

 

[LadyZ]

I hate suggesting my fav products because everything works differently for everyone, but I was having the same problem you are having.

Try putting Culture Wrap and Smooth on your ends. Works wonders. I emailed them for a sample of the 7-day relaxer and they sent along with the sample a coupon for a free product

. I tried this cream on my ends (same problem you are having especially in the back) and I love it. The effect lasts a few days, too. This stuff has been a blessing for me, because nothing was working. I still wear my hair up, but even when I take it down, the ends are nice. I do regularly clip my thin ends, too.

================================================

Have you ever tried the 7 day relaxer cream?
seems like it would help during the last weeks of stretching....
TIA

 

[metalkitty]

Hey Kizzy, I guess we're on the same boat, I've been discouraged a bit because I reached a goal of armpit length but 'had' to get it trimmed, my hairdresser said it looked thin then chopped it back to my collarbone without even asking me first ... But I started pay extra attention to my ends by pinning it up, making sure its always moisurized, using BBD Stretch. I also bought some fun hair accesories from Claire's to make my updo's look cuter since I'll be wearing them for awhile . Anyway, we can get through this hump with all the support here.

 

[HoneyDew]

================================================

Have you ever tried the 7 day relaxer cream?
seems like it would help during the last weeks of stretching....
TIA

Not yet. It says to use it on towel dried hair and then blowdry or airdry. I am addicted to my Keracare Silkenseal for that so everytime I am afraid to try something new for blowdrying.

 

[relaxedhair]

Kizzy I haven't read the whole thread but it just looks to me like your hair has grown fully through up to a couple of inches above your ends, and you need to grow it fully through some more inches. I think this because I have lots of layers and I have some chunks of my hair like this. I have upper shorter layers that have thinner ends, yet next to it a fully grown out piece of hair because it's all caught up with each other. If you look after your hair you should expect to grow it out to pretty much the thickness it is at the top (obviously have to allow for combing breakage, and for longer hair)
Grow your hair another two inches, trim and retake a photo to see how it looks? Or save the ends for a big trim after growing it all out. The way I'm going to solve my ends is trim and grow for a year (so cut off and regrow six inches to get full armpit length hair, and then continue to bra strap

 

[relaxedhair]

p.s i know what you mean about dealing with more hair, once i reached shoulder i found it overwhelming for a while. You really do get used to it though it just takes a bit of adjustment. I can handle my hair no problem now!

 

[kizzylonghair]

metalkitty, relaxedhair

Thank You ladies for your suggests. Glad 2 know I am not alone

Kizzy