Doing too much at church?

[melodee]

Ladies,

Can you tell me how you prevent this? There are some people I know that LIVE in church and are there everytime the doors are unlocked--helping with this and that, serving in the ministries. But right now, this is not me. I cannot do it. It would make me too weary.

I love serving in my church, but sometimes find that I wind up doing too much. I have a family with small kids ( and of course a loving hubby) and that is in itself a ministry. I do serve in a big way with the music minstry. But I find I'm asked to do more. There are many folks in the church that don't really do much at all, so the asking keeps coming to those who are willing. And I know that when much is given, much is required. But there has got to be a limit, so burnout does not occur.

Any advice?

 

[Shimmie]

Ladies,

Can you tell me how you prevent this? There are some people I know that LIVE in church and are there everytime the doors are unlocked--helping with this and that, serving in the ministries. But right now, this is not me. I cannot do it. It would make me too weary.

I love serving in my church, but sometimes find that I wind up doing too much. I have a family with small kids ( and of course a loving hubby) and that is in itself a ministry. I do serve in a big way with the music minstry. But I find I'm asked to do more. There are many folks in the church that don't really do much at all, so the asking keeps coming to those who are willing. And I know that when much is given, much is required. But there has got to be a limit, so burnout does not occur.

Any advice?

I hear you Melodee. I've been there. First is you and God, husband, children, work and then the rest.

Oh, and it's not what 'Shimmie' says...here's the word of God on this.

She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.


Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
__________________________

Oh, did I mention that you are the only wife and the only mother and the only you that God has to do this?

Not what Shimmie says...it's just common facts.

Love you, Melodee... Be at peace and do whatever you can outside of God and family. I think the music ministry is more than enough for now. Just say to them, I will only commit to what I can give myself wholely to. I will not commit to anything, that I cannot give to you my very best.

Pray for the harvest of hearts who will and can say yes to the work that needs to be done. Jesus said, if certain branches do not bear fruit to cut it off. It may be that the Church itsself is over extended and needs to cut off some of its branches to be more effective in the ones that can bear fruit more effectively.

It's not your fault for giving all that you can. Why add more to the church's burdens if your home is out of order, let alone let be your life out of order as well. There's only ONE beautiful "Mel'...You.

 

[PaperClip]

Ladies,

Can you tell me how you prevent this? There are some people I know that LIVE in church and are there everytime the doors are unlocked--helping with this and that, serving in the ministries. But right now, this is not me. I cannot do it. It would make me too weary.

I love serving in my church, but sometimes find that I wind up doing too much. I have a family with small kids ( and of course a loving hubby) and that is in itself a ministry. I do serve in a big way with the music minstry. But I find I'm asked to do more. There are many folks in the church that don't really do much at all, so the asking keeps coming to those who are willing. And I know that when much is given, much is required. But there has got to be a limit, so burnout does not occur.

Any advice?

Your first ministry is your family. So it's time to consult with your God and your husband and then inform folk accordingly that your focus is assigned to the following area(s). Embrace the power of the decline (NO!). It's not about what other people do. It's about what God told YOU to do. We are all responsible for our own behavior. No one can run over us unless we lay down.

Unfortunately, we can get a skewed view of ministry in that we feel like we have to do everything...and then when we try to do everything "in the Name of the Lord" (even stuff He did not tell us to do), we get tired, burned out, and then we get angry with the Lord in our misery, when the Lord didn't even direct us to do half the stuff we're doing.

I know this is easier said than done. I know because I've been there, and I'm still (patiently) waiting for my family to arrive. The Lord sees your heart and your love for the things of God. At the same time, we maximize our service when we're in the right place(s) at the right time. It's just not going to be 12 places at the same time!

 

[Southernbella.]

My mom went through the same thing, and she regrets it to this very day. It is very important to learn how to say no. Also, remember that ministry doesn't just happen inside the church building. There may be times when a person feels they aren't doing enough in the church, while the whole time, they've been ministering to their family, neighbors, or coworkers.

 

[tanyshar]

I hear you Melodee. I've been there. First is you and God, husband, children, work and then the rest.

Oh, and it's not what 'Shimmie' says...here's the word of God on this.

She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.


Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
__________________________

Oh, did I mention that you are the only wife and the only mother and the only you that God has to do this?

Not what Shimmie says...it's just common facts.

Love you, Melodee... Be at peace and do whatever you can outside of God and family. I think the music ministry is more than enough for now. Just say to them, I will only commit to what I can give myself wholely to. I will not commit to anything, that I cannot give to you my very best.

Pray for the harvest of hearts who will and can say yes to the work that needs to be done. Jesus said, if certain branches do not bear fruit to cut it off. It may be that the Church itsself is over extended and needs to cut off some of its branches to be more effective in the ones that can bear fruit more effectively.

It's not your fault for giving all that you can. Why add more to the church's burdens if your home is out of order, let alone let be your life out of order as well. There's only ONE beautiful "Mel'...You.

I could not have said it better myself, Your first ministry is your family!

 

[crlsweetie912]

It's funny you should post this. I want to do so much more, but, especially since I am a single parent, I have to put my family first. There is a balance in everthing! God is a God of order! It just as much of a sin to neglect your family trying to be everything at the church as it is to not participate at all. Just do what you can, pray for God to open people's hearts so that they can do more, and when you can, put in the extra time. But don't beat yourself up for saying NO!

 

[Ms Lala]

I agree with what everyone has said. I used to do EVERYTHING I was asked to do in ministry and quickly realized that much of it was people manipulating me not God. They would try to throw Jesus in it somehow to guilt me and that is not how HE works. Now I have learned to say no, people look at me strange sometimes, but I am the one who will be accountable for God. I want Him to say well done my good and faithful servant. He can't say this if I am doing everything people want me to do and not what HE has for me to do.