Does your SO act sexually deprived?...

C

clarity2008

New Member
my SO acts like he is starved and deprived sexually and i KNOW for a fact that we have sex waaay more than the average couple and this is REALLY starting to get on my nerves:wallbash:! i'm sorry if that was too much infor, but i need to know if anyone has this issue??
 
OcoLove said:
Is he complaining about it? Is it more than once a day?
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yea he whines like i never touch him. he doesnt say "we never have sex anymore" (because that would be a BIG FAT lie and he knows it!) or anythign like that but he whines and carries on like i'm completly frigid and don't get it twisted, he is taken care of! its once a day if not every other day! isn't that enough? DAYUM!
 
Well, how much the average couple has sex has little to do with with how often you two should do it. If the amount of sex that you two are having per week is not enough for him, then...well his sex drive is higher than yours and that's just the way it is.

Do you not want to have more sex than you are having? Are you satisfied with your sex life with him? Are you viewing sex as a "chore" instead of something fun that only the two of you can do together? All of these things are questions i'd ask myself if i were you.

Obviously you dont have to have sex any more than you want to, but just to play devil's advocate, why should he have to have sex less than he wants to? You should talk to him about what he wants and what you want. It sounds like maybe a compromise is in order.

EDIT: Ok apparently like all of these responses came while i wrote this.

If it's once a day, then maybe he wants more affection, foreplay, etc. Like, he wants to know that you want him, and look forward to sleeping with him throughout the day. Little things like a booty squeeze or an inappropriate comment whispered in public really keep things playful i think. Or maybe he wants more adventurous, longer, etc etc sex sessions with you.
 
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lovelaughlive218 said:
yea he whines like i never touch him. he doesnt say "we never have sex anymore" (because that would be a BIG FAT lie and he knows it!) or anythign like that but he whines and carries on like i'm completly frigid and don't get it twisted, he is taken care of! its once a day if not every other day! isn't that enough? DAYUM!
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I agree with you that would drive me nuts...
 
unalteredone said:
Well, how much the average couple has sex has little to do with with how often you two should do it. If the amount of sex that you two are having per week is not enough for him, then...well his sex drive is higher than yours and that's just the way it is.

Do you not want to have more sex than you are having? Are you satisfied with your sex life with him? Are you viewing sex as a "chore" instead of something fun that only the two of you can do together? All of these things are questions i'd ask myself if i were you.

Obviously you dont have to have sex any more than you want to, but just to play devil's advocate, why should he have to have sex less than he wants to? You should talk to him about what he wants and what you want. It sounds like maybe a compromise is in order.

EDIT: Ok apparently like all of these responses came while i wrote this.

If it's once a day, then maybe he wants more affection, foreplay, etc. Like, he wants to know that you want him, and look forward to sleeping with him throughout the day. Little things like a booty squeeze or an inappropriate comment whispered in public really keep things playful i think. Or maybe he wants more adventurous, longer, etc etc sex sessions with you.
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We flirt ALL the time! For expample, while in the elevator in my apt building I'll grab his package, or if he is sitting on the couch i will nibble his ear, or I'll catch him off guard w/ a great kiss or something. SEx is def. not a chore I really enjoy it but I really believe that he is just a greedy motherf***er!
 
bluwatersoul said:
um, your man wants you and it's a problem?

think about it.
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Why are people acting like women should be falling to their knees because they have a man who wants them? Is it rare? Are times that hard? Dang!:ohwell:
It's a problem because obviously her sex drive is lower than his and he's acting as if SHE'S frigid when she feels the amount (just about every day/other) is enough.
I'm sure sex is great, but some people don't want it all day everyday. They should be free to complain about that without getting the "Well, AT LEAST..." treatment.
OP, no clue what to tell you.
~*Janelle~*
 
bluwatersoul said:
um, your man wants you and it's a problem?

think about it.
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i understand that he wants me and i want him too. but again i feel like it is going overboard. it is actually worrying me. he acts like a sex addicted at times. its like this; chocolate cake is good, chocolate cake everyday not so good...at least for me. i need a little time in between. i mean give me a solid 24 hours or something!
 
Just talk to him and ask what he would like to do different. If you can and want to comply..do so. If not, find a compromise or deal with his whining/complaining.
 
song_of_serenity said:
Why are people acting like women should be falling to their knees because they have a man who wants them? Is it rare? Are times that hard? Dang!:ohwell:
It's a problem because obviously her sex drive is lower than his and he's acting as if SHE'S frigid when she feels the amount (just about every day/other) is enough.
I'm sure sex is great, but some people don't want it all day everyday. They should be free to complain about that without getting the "Well, AT LEAST..." treatment.
OP, no clue what to tell you.
~*Janelle~*
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I think she just meant that a positive way of looking at it is not "oh he wants sex all the time...arghhh" but "he enjoys me and wants me often." Attitude can shift most problems around. I would rather complain about DH wanting me too much than never wanting me. That being said, there's a line between him having a higher drive than you and him being sex-crazed. OP your descriptions of him in your responses have me worried. He does sound nuts by your description.
 
Did you guys have more sex earlier in the relationship?
Here's some comments that I've heard can affect a couple's sex drive:

1) Plain ol' falling out of love
2) Incompatible sex drive ...which usually is a bigger problem in future years
3) being on or getting off the pill
4) Using certain medications

The older I get, the less interested I am in sex but rather a deep emotional connection with my partner. The kind of love making that might not even involve sexual intercourse but rather a connection of the soul. I don't know...I might be talking out my arse right now....:rolleyes:
 
lovelaughlive218 said:
my SO acts like he is starved and deprived sexually and i KNOW for a fact that we have sex waaay more than the average couple and this is REALLY starting to get on my nerves:wallbash:! i'm sorry if that was too much infor, but i need to know if anyone has this issue??
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:yep: I am in the exact same situation and have been for a while now. It is so bad that I want to move or get out of the relationship. He wants it soooo much that I find myself completely turned off by it. It has become more of a chore than a pleasure. So yeah I feel ya.
 
vivmaiko said:
I think she just meant that a positive way of looking at it is not "oh he wants sex all the time...arghhh" but "he enjoys me and wants me often." Attitude can shift most problems around. I would rather complain about DH wanting me too much than never wanting me. That being said, there's a line between him having a higher drive than you and him being sex-crazed. OP your descriptions of him in your responses have me worried. He does sound nuts by your description.
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EXACTLY. What I'M talking about is what OP said. If YOU can see OP's SO sounds "nuts" and then how is that falling into "Why is that a problem?"
...it IS a problem. Get what I mean? So of course, why put a "positive way" of looking at something that isn't?
~*Janelle~*
 
song_of_serenity said:
EXACTLY. What I'M talking about is what OP said. If YOU can see OP's SO sounds "nuts" and then how is that falling into "Why is that a problem?"
...it IS a problem. Get what I mean? So of course, why put a "positive way" of looking at something that isn't?
~*Janelle~*
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I agree. I was just referring to the change of attitude just in case OP is exaggerating or has some serious sex drive issues. Sometimes when folks have problems they make them sound a lot worse or understate them when they talk to others. For the most part a lot of women who complain about an SO asking for too much sex it ends up being that the requests from the man are less than ideal but not unreasonable or it is really an issue of incompatibility that neither party is willing to address. I haven't read the whole post but perhaps if OP clarifies we will get a better picture.

But like I said, the way she put it sounds like he's crazy. And if I go off that alone....he sounds all kinds of twisted.
 
Chile puleez....he fiddy and can still git it up?????

I know a guy in his 40s that can't....guess cuz he got shuga.....they say that happens when u got shuga tho.....

Enjoy it while he still got it....
 
vivmaiko said:
I agree. I was just referring to the change of attitude just in case OP is exaggerating or has some serious sex drive issues. Sometimes when folks have problems they make them sound a lot worse or understate them when they talk to others. For the most part a lot of women who complain about an SO asking for too much sex it ends up being that the requests from the man are less than ideal but not unreasonable or it is really an issue of incompatibility that neither party is willing to address. I haven't read the whole post but perhaps if OP clarifies we will get a better picture.

But like I said, the way she put it sounds like he's crazy. And if I go off that alone....he sounds all kinds of twisted.
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:yep: Things can be magnified, I agree! Personally, I don't think he's "crazy" but...I don't know, incompatible sexually, also. I can understand if he was constantly asking, but I don't like the part about making it seem as if she's frigid or not giving into his "needs" as if something is wrong with HER. :/
OP, I know you said it isn't a chore...how long have you been with him and was it always like this? Or just a recent change?
~*Janelle~*
 
MzSouthVA said:
:yep: I am in the exact same situation and have been for a while now. It is so bad that I want to move or get out of the relationship. He wants it soooo much that I find myself completely turned off by it. It has become more of a chore than a pleasure. So yeah I feel ya.
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I'm really sorry to hear that. Do you all talk about it? Can you come to some sort of agreement to level set the sexual expectations?
 
ok ladies so we had a talk last night...

well i told him how i felt and then he completly admitted that he does act extra as of late. he said that he understands where i am coming from and will tone it down a bit because he is far from unsatisfied. so i asked him why? and he said that he has just always been very physically attracted to me its been in overdrive lately for whatever reason...:rolleyes:

well i am just glad that i wasn't actually going crazy! he saw how i could think that lately...i don't know maybe its because i just got a brazilian wax...:lachen:
 
OcoLove said:
I'm really sorry to hear that. Do you all talk about it? Can you come to some sort of agreement to level set the sexual expectations?
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Thanx yeah we do. His response is always the same that he's just so attracted to me and he has never been this attracted to someone. I am happy that he finds me attractive but at the same time it gets to be too much. We were going good for a while with a lil compromise of 1 day on and 1 day off but that came to an end and we're right back in the same situation again. I don't know..:nono:

Original OP glad to see you and yours came to an understanding
 
lovelaughlive218 said:
ok ladies so we had a talk last night...

well i told him how i felt and then he completly admitted that he does act extra as of late. he said that he understands where i am coming from and will tone it down a bit because he is far from unsatisfied. so i asked him why? and he said that he has just always been very physically attracted to me its been in overdrive lately for whatever reason...:rolleyes:

well i am just glad that i wasn't actually going crazy! he saw how i could think that lately...i don't know maybe its because i just got a brazilian wax...:lachen:
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Ya think?????? Girl a brazilian wax is the equivalent to those little blue pills.

LMAO I could sooooooo whack you. :lachen:
 
There is nothing wrong with you. And there is nothing wrong with him either. Looks like he is a once-or-twice-day-sex kind of guy, while your sexual rhythm is different. Sexual compatibility is important because it can create resentment on both sides. I hope you two are able to work this out.
 
lovelaughlive218 said:
ok ladies so we had a talk last night...

well i told him how i felt and then he completly admitted that he does act extra as of late. he said that he understands where i am coming from and will tone it down a bit because he is far from unsatisfied. so i asked him why? and he said that he has just always been very physically attracted to me its been in overdrive lately for whatever reason...:rolleyes:

well i am just glad that i wasn't actually going crazy! he saw how i could think that lately...i don't know maybe its because i just got a brazilian wax...:lachen:
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:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen: He done lost his mind!!!! lol
 
MzSouthVA said:
:yep: I am in the exact same situation and have been for a while now. It is so bad that I want to move or get out of the relationship. He wants it soooo much that I find myself completely turned off by it. It has become more of a chore than a pleasure. So yeah I feel ya.
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I feel your pain too:perplexed. My ex-DH was the same way:nono:. . . .
 
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