Does your man wear the pants?

[kisz4tj]

In your relationship I mean. As christians we know that the man is the head of the household. But do they really act like the head. In my experience he never was. However, not because I didn't want him to be. In fact I yearned for it. I grew tired early of the being the leader...I wanted to be the the help-mate. Instead our roles were vice versa.

 

[GodsPromises]

Yes my husband in truly the head of my household and it is a wonderful thing. It takes the weight off of me and after being a single mom for 11 years it is wonderful to defer the desicion to someone else. Now mind you because DH is on disablilty, I am the priminary breadwinner however when it comes to the household he is the one. It takes work and there are times when I want to do it my way but I do respect him.

 

[Nyambura]

Yes, my husband is the head of the household. It may not work for everyone but it works for us.

 

[TrustMeLove]

Well, im not married. But my husband needs to be numero uno in the house hold. I can't stand a man I can run over and get him to do my will all the time. Bring home the check..and Ill take care of the bills and make sure you always have food to eat, a clean house, and outside adventures (well this one is actually all about me).

Of course I plan to work too, but I want the house to run in a man on top order.
-Trust.

 

[mkh_77]

I'm not married, but my parents have been married for 30 years this June and I think neither of my parents are the "head" of the household. They compliment each other and make decisions as a "unit", always deferring to each other. At least this is what I have seen. I have never seen an argument (a few disagreements here and there), I have never seen them yell at each other, and I have never seen them disrespect each other. Why not rule your home together? I am not suggesting a 50/50 type deal ( I know that's just a fantasy), but complimentary seems to be the way to go--and that's what I aspire to.

 

[MomofThreeBoys]

My husband is the head of the household. His role is defined as such by the Word of God. BUT we make decisions jointly and he defers to me in certain areas. Yes he can override me, but he also has to answer to God for those decisions. God holds him responsible and accountable for family decisions.

 

[GodsPromises]

Exacly, I couldn't had said it better!!!!

My husband is the head of the household. His role is defined as such by the Word of God. BUT we make decisions jointly and he defers to me in certain areas. Yes he can override me, but he also has to answer to God for those decisions. God holds him responsible and accountable for family decisions.

 

[EbonyEyes]

I'm not married but I want a marriage where my husband is the head of the household. But I've prayed that God check me during my marriage to make sure that I allow my husband to do his job and be the head of the household. There is a possibility that I may make more money than my husband and I do not want my mouth to get the better of me and make my husband think that I am better than him or that I am better equipped to head the household just because I bring home more income.

-Ebony

 

[Nyambura]

My husband is the head of the household. His role is defined as such by the Word of God. BUT we make decisions jointly and he defers to me in certain areas. Yes he can override me, but he also has to answer to God for those decisions. God holds him responsible and accountable for family decisions.

I wish I didn't have to add more characters when I just want to post an emoticon.

 

[Sweet C]

My husband is the head of the household. His role is defined as such by the Word of God. BUT we make decisions jointly and he defers to me in certain areas. Yes he can override me, but he also has to answer to God for those decisions. God holds him responsible and accountable for family decisions.

Basically this is how it is at our house!!

 

[options]

I have always struggled with how the man being the "head of the household" works in our contemporary society, in which women oftentimes also have to work because of financial necessity, along with the weight of bearing children and domestic duties.

In such a situation, how is a man "the head" in practice? I understand it in theory, but if a woman is working just as hard (or harder) than the man, how is he going to have absolute rule in the household?

 

[MomofThreeBoys]

I have always struggled with how the man being the "head of the household" works in our contemporary society, in which women oftentimes also have to work because of financial necessity, along with the weight of bearing children and domestic duties.

In such a situation, how is a man "the head" in practice? I understand it in theory, but if a woman is working just as hard (or harder) than the man, how is he going to have absolute rule in the household?

I work a full time job and at times have made much more money (ahh I miss the good ole days of IT consulting) than DH but even if I stayed home I would demand the same respect. It boils down to who has the final say.
If there is a disagreement, according to the word of God, the husband has the final say and has to make sure that I'm running the household right.

For instance, I pay the bills in our house and make the majority of purchases. BUT if I'm not prudent in the decisions I make, and fail at being a good steward, than DH has to answer for God. So even though I make most of the financial decisions in the household, HE is the one that is accountable for those decisions. It is his responsibility to make sure that our home is in accordance with God's word and God's will.

It isn't so much that DH lords over me. Like I said b4, we make decisions jointly. Any husband who is truly being led by God, will not make decision without consulting you or without your input. When there is a disagreement about something, it is our job to pray that God reveals His will. But it is DH job to have a discerning spirit and to MAKE the right decision. When he goes against my wishes
1) I pray and ask God for peace
2) I ask God to speak to DH and lead him in making the right choice
3) Encourage DH to pray as well and as for discernment
4) Recognize that God might have revealed something to DH that the Lord has not revealed to me

There are times when we have prayed and he had to go along with my choice b/c that was God's will. It is very difficult to make this type of relationship work without a surrendered husband.

It's not easy for me, especially considering I have Type A personality. But God is working on me and my marriage is better for it!

Hope that makes sense

 

[options]

Natalie,

Thanks for responding. I guess this is a concept that is just flying over my head. So you make (or used to make) more money than your spouse and are responsible for running the household and ensuring that necessary and appropriate expenditures are made, but your husband is the approver of those decisions before they are made?

I dunno. I guess I just feel like people cannot have it both ways. It really seems like our contemporary society, plus the Biblical mandates, have made the lives of men much easier.

 

[MomofThreeBoys]

No, we both approve major decisions but he has the final say if there is a disagreement. Yes, I run the household but that is b/c of my personality. I have to be in control. He doesn't micro manage everything that I do. I only check with him when it is a major purchase. AND he has to do the same with me.

Also, he's not a slacker. He does ALL the laundry. I HATE LAUNDRY. He is responsible for maintenace on the house (i.e. lightbulbs, air filters, caulking, painting, etc) , the lawn, and the maintenace on the cars . He also cleans (though we have a cleaning lady now). He also drops the kids off to school, (my parents pick up). We share homework duty. I wouldn't say its 50/50 but its pretty close. I feel I'm better at certain things so I take on more on. I 'm sore of a control freak.

I would also say that my husband is A+ at spiritual matters That brother is always is the Word. He keeps me spiritually fed and encourages me to read the Word. He is an excellent teacher. He is also great at developing our sons spirituality. My sons are 9 and 7 and they have memorized over 30 bible verses, know the 10 commandments, and the Lords Prayer. They can even explain to you why we believe what we believe. Yes, I help in that but DH has definetely been the driving force behind their spiritual growth.

So, I wouldn't say he's a slacker. He works very hard do God's will, to support our family, and to please me. Some people might think I'm a little spoiled. I know his mom thinks he spoils me. But I'm a daddy's girl and he knew that coming in so its too late now .

Any man who takes the "head of househould" as an opportunity to to be lazy and be a dictator, will have some seriouse problems with his Maker at judgement time.

Natalie,

Thanks for responding. I guess this is a concept that is just flying over my head. So you make (or used to make) more money than your spouse and are responsible for running the household and ensuring that necessary and appropriate expenditures are made, but your husband is the approver of those decisions before they are made?

I dunno. I guess I just feel like people cannot have it both ways. It really seems like our contemporary society, plus the Biblical mandates, have made the lives of men much easier.