Does Your Man Have Unrealistic Hair Goals?

[SouthernGirl]

Not that those of us seeking longer, healthier hair are doing it for the men in our lives (exclusively), but it is awfully nice when you get presents and favors just for wearing it down /images/graemlins/smile.gif

I always thought that if I could grow my hair to my waist, my Fiance would be all over me. NOT! He actually said that would turn him off! Go figure? So this morning I asked the magic wand question: "So, if you could magically make my hair any length you want, as long as it was healthy, where would it fall?" He's not crazy, so after a few "I love it right where it is honey" comments, he pointed to the center of my back, around bra strap!! I thought, wow, that's conservative for a guy, or so I thought. This was very encouraging to me, and it should make us all feel good to know that while we're loading up on the protein, wearing protective styles, and using all kind of hair and scalp concoctions to grow our hair long, those that are closest to us really like it where it is!

So, is your man's desired length in line with your's, or are you already there in his eyes?

 

[unlvgirl]

I had this same conversation with my husband a couple of days ago after I got my hair done. He asked me how long I was going to let my hair get. I told him I just planned on letting it grow, that I had no set limit. He said he liked my hair the length it is now and to not let it get any longer. He didn't have a reason why he just said butt length hair was too long to him /images/graemlins/frown.gif

 

[webby]

My husband was /images/graemlins/shocked.gif when he woke up one morning to find that I was holding a 10" ponytail in my hand.

But I was /images/graemlins/shocked.gif when he said that he preferred it shorter. He says that my hair was always hiding my very thin face...no one could ever see my "pretty" eyes. Yeah, he got big points for that one.

He's trying to talk me out of letting it grow long again, but I'm not trying to hear him (fingers are in my ears) /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[MizAvalon]

Most men like long hair, but surprisingly, even they have a limit on how long they like it. But as far as black men go, I wonder if sometimes they're saying they wouldn't like it if it got to be a certain length because they secretly think you'll never reach that length anyway? Hmmm.

 

[dreemssold]

My SO prefers TWAs, so I'm already too long for his taste. Oh well. I like little afros, too, but I don't see him growin one for me /images/graemlins/wink.gif.

 

[KAddy]

My DH likes hair about the length of dreems in her avatar (sorry girl that's the only way I could describe it). Once when we were out eating there was a chick whose hair was about that length and he was like "That's the length I would like your hair to grow" I said "me too" /images/graemlins/rofl.gif

 

[webby]

Sometimes, I think that men prefer their SO's without long hair, because they are afraid that other men will be attracted to them.

I know a countless number of guys who gook and gawk at a woman with long hair (regardless to how she looks), but they only date women with short hair.

 

[naptrl]

My hubby likes bra-strap length. He hates short hair and I do to!! (on me). I was at bra-strap before I did the big chop, so I'd like to get it back to natural, BS length...he would too!! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[ms_kenesha]

Mine says that waist length is too long, but I told him it's because he's picturing Cousin It, type hair. BSL-Aaliyah length hair I know he'd like, but he told me last week that he was never the type of guy to think that someone was all that just because their hair was really long.

 

[SouthernGirl]

Dreems, LOL! My guy used to get a haircut every week. I like his hair longer, and he hates it! He's walking around w/a 3-week post haircut and hating life /images/graemlins/smile.gif It's actually about that time now.

Unlvgirl, wow! I was surprised by that, but I guess I shouldn't be, based on my guy's comments. I'd love to have your length, but doubt I could ever get there. I just don't think I could wear protective styles that long!

Webby, that's a really interesting thought, which was my guess too based on my fiance's response. That's kinda why I wanted to show him pictures to make sure of people with really long hair. Hmmmm...

 

[SouthernGirl]

[ QUOTE ]
KAddy said:
My DH likes hair about the length of dreems in her avatar (sorry girl that's the only way I could describe it). Once when we were out eating there was a chick whose hair was about that length and he was like "That's the length I would like your hair to grow" I said "me too" /images/graemlins/rofl.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

That's so cool Kaddy! I love Dreemssold's length too. We see so many entertainers (like Beyonce) with super long-thick hair that for me is just way too unrealistic. Two thumbs up for those that have hair like that, and there are many on this site, too /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[ms_kenesha]

SG,

Your hair really looks bra-strap in your pictures, maybe it's because your hair is all one length it looks longer. I would love to have your length and cut of hair, I like long blunt hair my hair always get's that dreaded V and the sides are always shorter than the back /images/graemlins/frown.gif

That's my new goal, blunt bra-strap! I think I will be at layered bra-strap by April or May '06 /images/graemlins/shocked.gif, that's 16mths from now...which seems like such a long time but God willing 2006 is going to come anyway, it might as well come with me having bra-strap length hair! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[SouthernGirl]

Interesting... okay, well speaking of Beyonce, is your man so into having long hair that he wouldn't care if it was a weave or not? Shoot, we love wearing our weaves, wigs, and phonies too, but if I were a guy, I'd wanna feel the real stuff every now and then. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[ThickHair]

DH said that he liked my TWA. I think because it took me less time to get ready. My hair is past bra strap, but because I am natural you can't tell. He did say that he hoped that I would never relax again. I don't plan too so we are fine on that point.

 

[InsertCleverNameHere]

I think I asked my SO what is too long but I can't for the life of me remember whta he said. I do know I've told him my waist length goal a few times and he's had no objections.

 

[SouthernGirl]

[ QUOTE ]
ms_kenesha said:
SG,

Your hair really looks bra-strap in your pictures, maybe it's because your hair is all one length it looks longer. I would love to have your length and cut of hair, I like long blunt hair my hair always get's that dreaded V and the sides are always shorter than the back /images/graemlins/frown.gif

That's my new goal, blunt bra-strap! I think I will be at layered bra-strap by April or May '06 /images/graemlins/shocked.gif, that's 16mths from now...which seems like such a long time but God willing 2006 is going to come anyway, God willing, and so it might as well come with me having bra-strap length hair! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Aw, thanks MsKenesha! /images/graemlins/kiss.gif

That's really sweet of you. No joke, but I think it depends on which bra I wear sometimes! My bras must be really low, because in inches, it's the same length as some others' hair that is at bra strap. Maybe it's my height- I dunno, but I'll definitely be hitting it next relaxer! Yeah, the all one length thing is tricky if your hair grows in a V, I guess, but if I can do it, you most certainly can!!!

You're right- 2006 is gonna come anyway so you might as well get there with the hair you want (I think Wannakee said something like that in one her brochures back in the day) /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[dreemssold]

/images/graemlins/laugh.gif @ 3 weeks post-haircut and hating life! That's sweet. KAddy, why would I mind, man /images/graemlins/grin.gif? SG, you look bra-strap to me, also...I think you have a mean case of hair anorexia /images/graemlins/wink.gif.

 

[SouthernGirl]

Thickhair, you just reminded me of something else. At one point, I was debating about going natural. So I took my guy online and did a natural Vs straight comparison. I showed him pictures of my natural hair inspirations, as well as my relaxed inspirations. I said, if I could get my hair like this (natural) would you like it better? In each scenario, he picked straight /images/graemlins/confused.gif

I still to this day can't figure this out. I thought he'd love the naturally curly look. I even used Tracy Ross as an example one night when we were watching Girlfriends. He didn't even like that! I guess to each his own.

 

[SouthernGirl]

[ QUOTE ]
dreemssold said:
/images/graemlins/laugh.gif @ 3 weeks post-haircut and hating life! That's sweet. KAddy, why would I mind, man /images/graemlins/grin.gif? SG, you look bra-strap to me, also...I think you have a mean case of hair anorexia /images/graemlins/wink.gif.

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/rofl.gif Dreems!

There's more to the 3-week haircut story... we actually made a deal and unfortunately I didn't keep my end of it so well. I told him I'd break my bun challenge on special occasions and wear my hair down if he would extend his cuts so his hair could get longer! I just improvised and bought a wig. We make deals all the time /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[mrslee]

Hey SG!!!

My man asked me once what was my hair goal. I told him 2 inches past bra strap would be good for me!

He also makes fun of me all the time when I am combing, washing, or doing something with my hair. He says " You just love your hair, I wish you would give me the same attention to me as you do your hair" I always respond "If I treat my hair the way I treat you, I would have hair down to my ankles!" /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[KAddy]

[ QUOTE ]
SouthernGirl said:
Interesting... okay, well speaking of Beyonce, is your man so into having long hair that he wouldn't care if it was a weave or not? Shoot, we love wearing our weaves, wigs, and phonies too, but if I were a guy, I'd wanna feel the real stuff every now and then. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Interesting point SG, When I had a weave over the summer my DH liked it, but when I put a wig on (which is about the exact same length my hair is now) he despises it... /images/graemlins/confused.gif Men, don't know what they want. /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[RachelL]

My hubby has requested that I stop growing mine. So we negotiated and I agreed to stop at bra-strap, which is about 3 more inches. He actually likes my hair better short. I think he feels like my hair gets in the way a lot more when it's longer. Like when my hair is down, and I lean down to give him a smooch, he gets a mouthful of hair.

SG, we had the natural and relaxed discussion too, and he asked that I please keep it relaxed.

 

[SouthernGirl]

Okay, I'm falling off my chair Kaddy /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

My hunnie is the same way about phony ponies. I've never had a weave, but he thinks those are fine b/c he can't tell. Whenever I wear phonies, he doesn't like it. He claims they look really "fake." But I'm like, "weaves are fake too?" He claims as long as it doesn't look fake, I can get away with it.

Now the wig I have he absolutely LOVES and says if he didn't know me, he would think it was my hair.

SCORE! /images/graemlins/clap.gif

 

[SouthernGirl]

[ QUOTE ]
RachelL said:
My hubby has requested that I stop growing mine. So we negotiated and I agreed to stop at bra-strap, which is about 3 more inches. He actually likes my hair better short. I think he feels like my hair gets in the way a lot more when it's longer. Like when my hair is down, and I lean down to give him a smooch, he gets a mouthful of hair.

SG, we had the natural and relaxed discussion too, and he asked that I please keep it relaxed.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey RachelL /images/graemlins/wave.gif,

Your point about bending over is so funny, b/c I do this too! Whenever I'm home visiting my mom, I HAVE to wear my hair down. It's a must. Anyhoo, we go out to dinner, and when it's Mexican, I have a tendency to have "Taco Neck!!!" /images/graemlins/lachen70.gif Do you remember those commercials? You have to lean all the way over to take a bite!

Hey Mrs Lee/images/graemlins/wave.gif,

Great comeback! I'll have to use that one b/c I get the guilt trip too that I spend WAAAAAAY too much time here. You should see me doing Alt Tab whenever he comes into the room to change the screen!

 

[Isis]

IMO, Webby has a point.
Long hair has always been a symbol of power and beauty (at least since Biblical times) and if a man is insecure, it might be intimidating to him to be in a relationship with a black woman having long hair, even if he gawks at other long manes.

 

[SouthernGirl]

I thought about that too Isis. I think you and Webby might be on to something. Who knows, but I thought this was pretty interesting!

 

[KAddy]

/images/graemlins/scratchchin.gif

 

[LondonDiva]

[ QUOTE ]
webby said:
Sometimes, I think that men prefer their SO's without long hair, because they are afraid that other men will be attracted to them.

[/ QUOTE ]

ITA with that one. I mean if I'm in awe at a woman with a gorgeous head of hair Lord knows what it does to a man, and they are simple creatures at the best of times. It doesn't take much for them.

 

[Ayeshia]

[ QUOTE ]
LondonDiva said:
[ QUOTE ]
webby said:
Sometimes, I think that men prefer their SO's without long hair, because they are afraid that other men will be attracted to them.

[/ QUOTE ]

ITA with that one. I mean if I'm in awe at a woman with a gorgeous head of hair Lord knows what it does to a man, and they are simple creatures at the best of times. It doesn't take much for them.

[/ QUOTE ]

OMG this is soooooo true...2 years ago when I was with my ex, his roomate touched my hair. My ex TOLD /images/graemlins/laugh.gif me to put my hair into a ponytail and lied and told his roomie that I dont like people touching my hair. I never remembered saying that to him since he himself used to rub my hair all the time...male sexual jealousy. I love it!!!!

 

[Isis]

[ QUOTE ]
LondonDiva said:
ITA with that one. I mean if I'm in awe at a woman with a gorgeous head of hair Lord knows what it does to a man, and they are simple creatures at the best of times. It doesn't take much for them.

[/ QUOTE ]
/images/graemlins/rofl.gif This struck me as so funny but true! Men really are very simple creatures, all visual too.