Unrealistic Expectations - Current Pic Of Hair

[curlicarib]

I know exactly what you mean OP. My type 3a hair is fine when curly. Once I straighten it, it disappears. I have concluded that I can never straighten my hair.

I straightened it last month for the first time in maybe 4 years for a "proper" trim (found out my trims on non-straightened hair was just fine). My hair is healthy, shiny, and thin (to me). Every one else loved it and complimented it. I hated it. I'll probably never straighten my hair again.

 

[melisandre]

Stop! Your hair is not thin. It might not be as thick as those Youtubers you posted, but it is definitely not thin.

 

[11228]

I am just now realizing this. I have never had a weave, but I am thinking of maybe having a track or two sewed in the back for extra thickness. As it is now I haven't worn my hair straightened cause I hate it.

I wonder what that would look like

Lady. Just stop.

You have a gorgeous head of hair. Please don't add anything to it. You can work with what you have.

 

[mzteaze]

Lol Ladies I thank you, but what you really need to see is a pic from the back and then you can see what I am talking about. This is a whole half of my head. Here is a pic my sister took for me. I haven't had a chance to get me cut yet.It looked thicker in my Siggie, but I remember I got it cut then too because it looked thin. View attachment 354831

That doesn't really change a thing. As many women find out, we have fine hair which looks and feels even finer when we use relaxers or straighten our hair to a bone straight texture. I still say, you should appreciate what you have instead of wasting time yearning/longing for what you don't have. You have options which include not relaxing or straightening your hair to bone straight, adding a body wave to your style to add more "fullness" to the appearance or even adding deep layers to your hair. But, based on the style in the pictures, that's a style that already sets you up for feelings of "thinness". If you are natural, why not switch to a chunky natural hairdo to see what else your hair can do?

As a person that wore weaves continually for over 8 years, once you start down that road of convincing yourself that it's for thickness, you won't stop until you either destroy what YOU already have or you change hair styles. My hair ended in destruction. Just saying...

 

[Carrie A]

Your hair looks like a normal density. Maybe you have fine strands. It maybe less dense than that one pic but the hair itself doesn't look thin.

 

[leona2025]

That doesn't really change a thing. As many women find out, we have fine hair which looks and feels even finer when we use relaxers or straighten our hair to a bone straight texture. I still say, you should appreciate what you have instead of wasting time yearning/longing for what you don't have. You have options which include not relaxing or straightening your hair to bone straight, adding a body wave to your style to add more "fullness" to the appearance or even adding deep layers to your hair. But, based on the style in the pictures, that's a style that already sets you up for feelings of "thinness". If you are natural, why not switch to a chunky natural hairdo to see what else your hair can do?

As a person that wore weaves continually for over 8 years, once you start down that road of convincing yourself that it's for thickness, you won't stop until you either destroy what YOU already have or you change hair styles. My hair ended in destruction. Just saying...

Thanks for this entire comment. I understand. I am relaxed and I am thinking of going more texlax or natural. When I saw it after I straighten it I told my sister I could never wear it like this it looks horrible. She gave me the face.

When I started my journey I just saw so many thick heads of hair and expected mine to get there with proper care. I was reading up on clip ins and I see they can cause damage and I do believe once I start wearing them I would probably never stop.

I used to be happy with my hair and IDK what changed, but over the last few years I sincerely hate it. I even thought about BCing and starting over, but I've chopped a lot twice and in the end it still looked the same.

I thank everyone for your comments. I gotta accept it as it is and learn to love it again. If you all say it looks alright then it must. I put it on some flexis so maybe it will feel better in the morning.

 

[Carrie A]

Have you ever been 100% natural?

 

[leona2025]

Have you ever been 100% natural?

Not in my adult life. I got my first relaxer when I was 13. My mother ever straighten my hair beyond blow drying.

I didn't start flat ironing until I joined LHCF.

 

[mzteaze]

You should try going natural IF you are up to trying something different for your hair. It seems like a lot more work if you aren't used to working on your own hair. BUT, it's been worth it for me.

I completely understand how you feel. I had also relaxed since pre-teen years and got to a point where my hair looked very very thin. Guess what, it was thinning from years of odd-ball relaxers of different strengths and length of application, etc. Then a funny thing happened - I got laid off and could no longer afford a weave. I had already gone natural under the weave at least 4 years before that point. So, I started playing around with growth stuff. It took awhile to realize that my hair was thinning mainly because of relaxers. While I don't have the full diameter and thickness that I remember in my teens, my hair is a lot closer (to the feel of my hair in my teens) now than when I had my last relaxer.

I will never have Kenya Moore's head of hair (real or "enhanced") but I don't have Naomi Campbell's baldness either.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Stop it. Your hair is gorgeous. Just stop okay?!

 

[niknakmac]

I think your hair looks great. Here are some suggestions that may improve thickness.
Long layers would make it look more full. Also maybe moving from a relaxer to texturizer? Do you blow dry and flat iron? Maybe just a blow dry it instead of doing both.

 

[Carrie A]

In general the same head of hair natural will appear thicker vs relaxed- especially if heat tools are not used often. Maybe you could try natural if you are truly obsessed with the look of additional thickness, but your relaxed hair looks great. Many people went natural because of thinning aka breakage from relaxers. Maybe someone will chime in on whether breaking curl bonds with relaxers changes the diameter of the hair?

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Also it occurred to me that you have layers. Maybe grow them out in the back and only have long ones around your face (if you want layers. Like only on the sides not the back. Layers can make hair appear thinner and if you have fine strands that is the kiss of death. All the way up to apl and almost to bsl, your hair has a thicker appearance and I assume that's because you have long layers in the rest. I'd slowly trim that out to get the uniform/thicker look. Your back should be blunt(er) But realize you have fine hair and it will only look so thick. Either way, it is still gorgeous and it looks good period. I'm only making these suggestions based on your posts.

I also agree with the consider texlaxing/rizing thing as well if you still need more thickness. People texturize and still keep their hair straight with roller set/wraps, etc from what I've seen. This may be just the thing for you.

 

[rafikichick92]

@leona2025 I just want to say thank you for posting this thread!! First off, your hair is beautiful and you are an inspiration to me. Second, thank you to all the other posters for reassuring OP (and me, vicariously) that this is what normal, healthy regular-people-hair looks like! I too have fine hair and have wondered if I was doing it wrong because my hair is not Youtube thick. After this thread, I have resolved not to worry about it anymore. Thanks, ladies!!

 

[leona2025]

Thanks so much for the tips. You all really made me feel much better about my hair. How much would you say needs trimming? I also like to keep my hair in the U or V shape.

I've been experimenting with blow drying and then putting rollers in. I loved that look, but I couldn't figure out how to get the shine. I tried something weird last night seemed to work. I set my hair with foam lotion on flexis and then blow dryied all over. I know hooded dryers would be good for this and I have on, but I cannot stand it, lol.

Curls lasted all day and hair was super soft. You guys have spurred me to try something new and I really want to try this setting on my blow dried hair. Trying to hold out from washing lol. Here are a few pictures of my hair today. Forgive the double chin.. lol You can really see the blue green color in the hair.

 

[leona2025]

@leona2025 I just want to say thank you for posting this thread!! First off, your hair is beautiful and you are an inspiration to me. Second, thank you to all the other posters for reassuring OP (and me, vicariously) that this is what normal, healthy regular-people-hair looks like! I too have fine hair and have wondered if I was doing it wrong because my hair is not Youtube thick. After this thread, I have resolved not to worry about it anymore. Thanks, ladies!!

Yes youtube had me in my feelings. lol

 

[tapioca_pudding]

This is when it's time to focus on improving other areas and leaving your hair alone.

Often when a woman is obsessing about one feature, it's because she thinks it's her "good" feature, so to have it seemingly in shambles is discouraging.

I'd really suggest focusing on another self project, and giving your hair a break from the scrutiny.

 

[CenteredGirl]

This is hair porn to me. You need to take a seat and thank Jesus for your crowning glory. Girl bye.

 

[Egyptjones]

I think most of us suffer from hair anorexia of some sort! I KNOW I do! Lort Jeezus! I thought APL would be enough for me but now I am BSL and STILL feel bald....smh....

Your hair is beautiful and no where near thin. How often do you relax? I think stretching your relaxers would help....relaxed hair does tend to be thinner just because of the use of chemicals. A nice blunt trim will also make your hair feel for voluminous. Half the women on this board would give their right arm for your hair.

 

[LiLi]

Your hair really is very lovely. What I noticed is that, at my heaviest weight (now), my hair looks like I don't have much. But when I was 50 pounds lighter, the same amount of hair looked like so much more.

I don't mean this as disrespect at all. I am just letting you know my personal experience with having the same issue. If I wear my hair straight (now that I am natural), I lightly flat iron it to make it look more in proportion. Once I lose the weight, I know it will have a more abundant appearance.