Does your boyfriend automatically become your best friends friend?

[allygreeneyes]

Over the years I have introduced a close relative of mine (female) to a few of my boyfriends and she seems to automatically think that she can ask them for items or ask them to buy her drinks when we go out. Am I being too sensitive or do I have a valid reason to be annoyed by her actions?

 

[BeautifulFlower]

I would be a bit. She still needs to go through you.

 

[ThickHair]

Your friends shouldn't be asking your bf for nothing. He is not their man. If he wants to treat all the ladies to drinks then he should do so on his own accord.

I will say I do feel some sorta way if a man is at the table with a couple of ladies and only purchases one a drink. The old school way that I am use to is the guy does an all or nothing. If it is nothing, he sure as heck isn't sitting with us. Muck what ya heard.

 

[allygreeneyes]

I believe in the old school way as well.
My "friend" and I are going through a bad patch right now and she thinks nothing of asking him for stuff.
It's other things as well like bumping into a male friend and setting her cousin up to dance with him even though she knows the male friend and I have something going on. That really pissed me off!
She wouldn't even know these guys if it wasn't for me - she's acting too familiar in my opinion

 

[allygreeneyes]

These are things she has done during the years - not all at once

 

[guudhair]

I wouldn't dare ask another person's man for anything...that's kinda crossing the line...borderline disrespectful...she should always have money with her and not EXPECT someone else's man to pay for her stuff...he was probably gonna pick up the tab for her anyway but her asking seems really tacky to me.

 

[allygreeneyes]

I totally agree about the borderline disrespecful part

 

[jamaicasmodona]

I totally agree about the borderline disrespecful part

It may be time to sit her down and lay out everything on the table. Don't let it get to the point where your going to blast her, but if you have to, do your thing..

NO!! She should NOT be asking your bf for drinks when you go out. Call me old fashion, but when my DH and I go out, it's just me and him.
If we bump into friends, that's fine, but no need for the 3rd wheel..

 

[guudhair]

I believe in the old school way as well.
My "friend" and I are going through a bad patch right now and she thinks nothing of asking him for stuff.
It's other things as well like bumping into a male friend and setting her cousin up to dance with him even though she knows the male friend and I have something going on. That really pissed me off!
She wouldn't even know these guys if it wasn't for me - she's acting too familiar in my opinion

I just saw this...she got issues .

 

[luvn_life]

Ummm... is it just me or is that not borderline its just pure disrespectful. She couldn't be my close friend because I wouldn't trust her in the living room with my man when I'm in the kitchen.

I think its disrespectful and kinda bummy to ask your friends man for anything... At least without your friends apporval. But, I can't imagine what I would need that bad to ask my friend's man for it.

 

[Jade Feria]

No, that's crossing the line. I could kinda understand it if they were already close friends before, but if you're just introducing them, no. That's not her man. She doesn't even know him like that.

 

[darlingdiva]

It may be time to sit her down and lay out everything on the table. Don't let it get to the point where your going to blast her, but if you have to, do your thing..

NO!! She should NOT be asking your bf for drinks when you go out. Call me old fashion, but when my DH and I go out, it's just me and him.
If we bump into friends, that's fine, but no need for the 3rd wheel..

It is DEFINITELY time to sit her down and lay everything out on the table. He is YOUR boyfriend and your friend is totally out of line. I agree with ThickHair. Your "friend" shouldn't be asking your boyfriend.

Nip this in the bud NOW and let her know that you mean business.

 

[jamaicasmodona]

It is DEFINITELY time to sit her down and lay everything out on the table. He is YOUR boyfriend and your friend is totally out of line. I agree with ThickHair. Your "friend" shouldn't be asking your boyfriend.

Nip this in the bud NOW and let her know that you mean business.

PLEASE!!!! LMAO

 

[ThickHair]

It is DEFINITELY time to sit her down and lay everything out on the table. He is YOUR boyfriend and your friend is totally out of line. I agree with ThickHair. Your "friend" shouldn't be asking your boyfriend.

Nip this in the bud NOW and let her know that you mean business.

Pretty soon she is going to call him over her house to check her pipes. KWIM Nip that mess in the bud right NOW.

 

[Pat Mahurr]

What they said. Team Bud Nipper.

 

[allygreeneyes]

I think she believes she is just being "friendly". She is quite a few years older than me with a young spirit (she is my aunt but we are more like friends) and I honestly don't think she sees anything wrong with it but I will be calling her out on it when I see her again - which will be this weekend.

 

[jamaicasmodona]

I think she believes she is just being "friendly". She is quite a few years older than me with a young spirit (she is my aunt but we are more like friends) and I honestly don't think she sees anything wrong with it but I will be calling her out on it when I see her again - which will be this weekend.

Do your thing.. I hope everything works out..
Please do tell the outcome when you can.. Just interested to know her reaction.. Naw.. Just being nosey... LMAO..

 

[Britt]

I believe in the old school way as well.
My "friend" and I are going through a bad patch right now and she thinks nothing of asking him for stuff.
It's other things as well like bumping into a male friend and setting her cousin up to dance with him even though she knows the male friend and I have something going on. That really pissed me off!
She wouldn't even know these guys if it wasn't for me - she's acting too familiar in my opinion

I'm sorry but your friend is out of pocket with this .

I'd really question my friendship w/ one of my girl's if she thought it was cool to have the gaul or even the desire to ask my man to buy her drinks all will nilly... sorry.. negative...
I am very big on people knowing their limits and boundaries and the thought of your "friend" thinking this is acceptable really does rub me the wrong way..
I would never think it's so cool to be asking to SO's friend to buy me a drink or whatever ... that's what my man is for... It also wouldn't even occur to me even think to ask my friend's man to buy me anything ... Even if everyone is cool, I personally believe in keeping friends separate ... I'm not saying be cordial and laugh together.. but there a thing as too close for comfort...

 

[Lady Esquire]

I think she believes she is just being "friendly". She is quite a few years older than me with a young spirit (she is my aunt but we are more like friends) and I honestly don't think she sees anything wrong with it but I will be calling her out on it when I see her again - which will be this weekend.

She's your blood-related aunt? Or married to your uncle? Because that might be a tad bit different, if you come from a close-knit extended family. I have seen family members who have this type of dynamic, and its all good.

But the fact that she has a young disposition, may just put her in the same category of any other peer who is over-stepping her bounds.

Or is she simply your "play" aunt? Some women are overly-jealous and look at a woman sideways if she merely bats her lashes. But on the average, your instincts usually never fail you.

 

[allygreeneyes]

She is a blood relative but we just got close these past three years so we are more like really good/best friends.
I barely say hello to anyone she is interested in but she feels quite comfortable doing the things she do with mine...

 

[Nyssa28]

She must be cheap. Buy your own d*mn drink! erplexed

 

[allygreeneyes]

LOL...too true - or wait until it's been offered!

 

[guudhair]

She is a blood relative but we just got close these past three years so we are more like really good/best friends.
I barely say hello to anyone she is interested in but she feels quite comfortable doing the things she do with mine...

Well she needs to start bringing the guys "she's interested in" with yall so HE can buy her drinks...I wouldn't invite her on dates unless she is bringing someone too...I don't like to be around folks like that...

And the stuff about her setting her cousin up to dance with your BF is insane...eventually, you may just have to start keeping a little distance.

 

[jada1111]

It may be time to sit her down and lay out everything on the table. Don't let it get to the point where your going to blast her, but if you have to, do your thing..

NO!! She should NOT be asking your bf for drinks when you go out. Call me old fashion, but when my DH and I go out, it's just me and him.
If we bump into friends, that's fine, but no need for the 3rd wheel..

Yeah, the side wheel thing needs to be stopped.

I also suggest talking to her about it FIRST, then if she does it again, feel free to blast and cut her off.

Either she's a complete ditz or has no respect for you.

 

[Lady Esquire]

She is a blood relative but we just got close these past three years so we are more like really good/best friends.
I barely say hello to anyone she is interested in but she feels quite comfortable doing the things she do with mine...

I know these types of women. I had a girlfriend that needed to be extra friendly around everybody's prospects, boyfriends, husbands, exes, etc... She was famous for this type of behavior.

Some do it on the sly. Some are quite brazen. Some are hybrid with theirs. Some have an agenda.

Some just do it because of the insatiable need to always get a man's attention.

Some do it because they will squeeze every ounce of blood out of any man, because that is just how they view all men. Even if they do not want him sexually, simply for the fact that he is a man, they will use him for anything they can get out of him because they feel owed.

Only you can determine what is the best course of action. But rest assured, you do have reason to be annoyed, especially if you have never reciprocated this friendliness with her men.

 

[jada1111]

Well she needs to start bringing the guys "she's interested in" with yall so HE can buy her drinks...I wouldn't invite her on dates unless she is bringing someone too...I don't like to be around folks like that...

And the stuff about her setting her cousin up to dance with your BF is insane...eventually, you may just have to start keeping a little distance.

Yep!! That *ish was plain disrespectful. Best friends don't do that. Hell, even acquaintances don't pull that mess.

 

[Denise11]

I believe in the old school way as well.
My "friend" and I are going through a bad patch right now and she thinks nothing of asking him for stuff.
It's other things as well like bumping into a male friend and setting her cousin up to dance with him even though she knows the male friend and I have something going on. That really pissed me off!
She wouldn't even know these guys if it wasn't for me - she's acting too familiar in my opinion

You need a new friend.

 

[hopeful]

I would stop introducing her to my boyfriends. I don't understand why she needs to meet your bf's or why she is going out with you and your bf's in the first place.

 

[MizAvalon]

Your friends shouldn't be asking your bf for nothing. He is not their man. If he wants to treat all the ladies to drinks then he should do so on his own accord.

I will say I do feel some sorta way if a man is at the table with a couple of ladies and only purchases one a drink. The old school way that I am use to is the guy does an all or nothing. If it is nothing, he sure as heck isn't sitting with us. Muck what ya heard.

I agree with this. Treat the entire table or don't treat at all.

Your friends, relatives, whoever, should not be asking your boyfriend for things.