Does It Really Take Sex To...

[aribell]

...fall hard over someone? To really get hurt?

I've heard it a lot of times people saying, "Well, at least she didn't sleep with him, so it'll be easier to get over."

Or the whole FwB type relationship. Does it have to take sex being in the picture for one party to a friendship to feel used and/or heartbroken?

In your experience, can people fall just as hard and be just as hurt without having any kind of physical relationship?

 

[LunadeMiel]

I think because women tend to have a lot of sexual guilt when I sexual relationship ends she feels like she "wasted" something.

Yes, I think you can fall for someone without having sex with him.

 

[KPH]

.............................................

 

[Eritreladiee]

I guess some people seem to think this, but it probably just depends on the individual. You could fall hard for someone you're not sexing, or not fall at all for someone you are. If it was someone you were falling pretty hard for, then you had sex, it would depend-- You could fall harder, get turned off or remain at the same level.

 

[softblackcotton]

It's possible to fall hard without having a sexual relationship i.e. close opposite platonic friends falling in love. However, I really don't think it hurts as hard or for as long if things don't work out without sex. Sex activates certain attachment chemicals in the brain (Oxytocin) that causes women (not so much men) to get attached in a way that they would not sans sex. Google it.

 

[JustKiya]

The man I fell the hardest for, I think I kissed once. Maybe. I still love him, and I suspect I always will - he was my first love. The dude I lost my virginity to? *shrug* Meh.

It really depends on the two people involved how hard you fall, and whether sex makes it easier or harder to wiggle your way back out.

 

[Bunny77]

It's possible to fall hard without having a sexual relationship i.e. close opposite platonic friends falling in love. However, I really don't think it hurts as hard or for as long if things don't work out without sex. Sex activates certain attachment chemicals in the brain (Oxytocin) that causes women (not so much men) to get attached in a way that they would not sans sex. Google it.

I have heard about the oxytocin thing, but I wouldn't say it's a hard and fast rule that it hurts less or not as hard if you didn't have sex with the man versus if you did.


Some women might have sex with a man and put him in the category of, "Well, he seems cool, let's see where this goes," and if it goes nowhere, she might not be all that hurt because her feelings were never all that deep into it to begin with -- and the sex didn't change that.

But if there is someone that she's REALLY feeling, they've spent some time together even without sex and he ups and decides it's not working? Yeah, that can be a lot more crushing because THIS was the man she wanted and viewed as something longer term.

I don't think it's ALWAYS the case that sex will make the bonds tighter to break. I think there are a lot of factors involved.

 

[aribell]

Bumping just because I forgot about this one...

 

[cyrealla]

from a spiritual point of view sex creates soul ties which makes you that more attached to someone

 

[ebonylocs]

I agree with Bunny. For ME, it depends on how I feel about the guy, sex or no sex. The person I had sex with for the first time had no effect whatsoever on me. I've walked away from a couple of relationships in which there was sex, without a backward glance. I was also hurt once by the break up of a relationship in which there was sex. The only variable that changed was the guy involved. That last guy, *he* was the reason that relationship mattered to me. Haven't met his equal yet.

 

[Britt]

Maybe for some. I could see this as being very possible. Some chicks become dyckmatized and end up falling in love with dude. For me, it's far more mental and emotional. I could see myself totally falling for someone w/o sleeping w/ them b/c I'm feeling them just that much. I think this coupled w/ good sex would make for an ideal situation for me. Conversely, if our relationship has some deep seated issues, it def carries over into sex unfortunately.

 

[NAPPYCHICK86]

Maybe for some. I could see this as being very possible. Some chicks become dyckmatized and end up falling in love with dude. For me, it's far more mental and emotional. I could see myself totally falling for someone w/o sleeping w/ them b/c I'm feeling them just that much. I think this coupled w/ good sex would make for an ideal situation for me. Conversely, if our relationship has some deep seated issues, it def carries over into sex unfortunately.

@ the bolded!

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

It doesn't. I'm sure for women sex gives you more of an attachment feeling but it's possible to fall hard for someone and not sleep with them. I'm a virgin and I still think about the first and so far only guy I've ever fallen for.

 

[Katherina]

Um, no. It doesn't take sex to fall for someone at all.

 

[Fab_Nikki]

I dont believe it takes sex at all. I was really into a great guy once. After awhile we had sex and it was WACK. Me, being me, I thought I'd lose all interest. Didn't happen. I was soooooo into this guy and had circumstances been different, we would probably still be together now.

ETA: glad it didn't work because then I might not have my DH in my life. Just had to add that part.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Its mental. I have dated all kinds of men. I have been intimate with some not others. One thing was in common if my heart got broken, in my mind, I wanted them above any other available men in my life. I could see myself marrying them.

 

[Bmack]

...fall hard over someone? To really get hurt?

I've heard it a lot of times people saying, "Well, at least she didn't sleep with him, so it'll be easier to get over."

Or the whole FwB type relationship. Does it have to take sex being in the picture for one party to a friendship to feel used and/or heartbroken?

In your experience, can people fall just as hard and be just as hurt without having any kind of physical relationship?

In my experience yes and no. When I was younger no, as my heart was still hurt if I broke up and I was sleeping with nobody However, now to an extent yes. I recall before I was married dating someone and thinking thank God I did not sleep with them or being in a dead end relationship and it being quite easier if I did not sleep with them for some time. IMO, there is something about that intimate connection (for me) that makes it harder...