Does anyone speak 'man'? I need a translator...

He wants to break up with you and see someone else but doesn't want you to feel bad about it. I might be wrong but that's what it sounds like to me. Sorry. :sad:
 
The nature of human kind is to want things that we don't neccesarily deserve so that excuse is some BS. Why did he pursue you then?
OP, don't try and look for answers or reasoning cos you won't find it. Closure does not exist. I'm sorry that you are going through this.
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not being mean!!!


It's his way of nicely saying that he doesn't want to be with you...this is a spin on the old "it's not you, it's me" cliché.
 
I asked my SO and he just said that guys say this when they are about to either break up with the girl or they have issues that they do not want to involve the woman in. More times than not, that is the reason a guy will say something like that. If he wants to break up he will just say how you're better off without him or start blaming the issues he has on the woman to deflect that he brought the issues to the table.

Now thats from my boyfriend but I say...when a guy says that he doesn't to be with you. I dont care what issues he has- the fact of the matter is he doesn't want to be in the relationship and who needs that? He is not ready for a commitment with you. OP I've heard variations of the same thing and in the end the dude just wanted out and we never did get back together.
 
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Glad you've decided not to waste time on this guy. Don't even spend time fantasizing on what could have been. You're much better off. He sounds like he's all smoke and mirrors.
 
It's not always another woman. He could be just scared or this time in life he can't do want he needs too. But that being said.....leave him alone. No trying to help or fix.
 
It means he doesn't want to be with you. Sorry:imsorry: you're going through this but don't waste your time on someone who don't deserve you. YOU'RE WORTH MORE THAN THAT :hug2:
 
^ when someone shows you who they are believe then..

I just went though this..did a year ignoring those red flags, and for what? It still ended.

Im so incredibly sorry...so very sorry. It hurts when they give you mixed messages, but he's a coward for not manning up and saying "this here is not what I want."

Excuses are a weak mans gift.

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They ALL mean:

1) You really ARE "too good" for him
2) He really ISN'T giving you his best....and he KNOWS it deep down inside
3) He's got issues & baggage :rolleyes:
4) He really DOESN'T deserve you, and you could do sooo much better

All of this = "He's just not THAT into you", so you need to move on and look for a man who will work HARD to be the type of man he knows a good QUALITY woman expects and deserves.

I'm sorry, but I think you're wasting your time w/this one. :ohwell: I would drop him or at least multi-date so I don't put all of my eggs in HIS basket. :nono: A man who really wants a woman and wants to impress her won't say these things to her. Why would he? That would drive a good quality woman away! :nono2:

So, if a man is ever saying these types of things to you, just know that he is not really in it for the long term, and he probably wants to break up but doesn't want to let you down too hard. :ohwell:
 
Have you ever heard someone said that some women are used to not being treated well that when a man treats her well, she doesn't know how to accept it or can't accept it...she eventually sabortage the relationship and revert back to a man that doesn't treat her well..AND continues to complain about no-good men.

I feel that this is what will happen if you continue with this man....your post below suggest that:

"I gave him a gift yesterday and he broke down again with this whole I don't deserve you crap and was on the verge of tears!!! Apparently he was in a previous relationship where he didn't feel appreciated and according to him was filled with drama. He also said that he's addicted to drama."
 
Sounds to me like he's being insecure and he's not ready to be in a relationship with you right now. Who knows why or why not but he's not ready. I'm not saying he isn't into you but right now he is not allowing himself to be with you fully and IMHO he is pretty much telling you that. You don't have to write him off but you should be leary that he may disappoint you.
 
I've heard that its a way for him to exit the relationship. To me it comes off as insecure and if he really thinks he's not good enough he needs time off from relationships to work on himself.

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He wouldn't be talking about the future or trying to move in with you if he's not into you. I'm with the guys on this one. Dude has some issues. I say be a bit more patient. Don't do anything special just continue being you.

He sounds like he's working on his issues. Otherwise he wouldn't have cried. I wouldn't try to pull anything out of him either. Because in the end one of 2 things will happen. He'll get over it because of the love and safe haven he has with you or he'll stay under. At that time you'll know in your heart if he really is hopeless and then you can bounce. And it won't take that much more time for you to know this.
 
Fine 4s said:
Einh, I'm alright, I feel like I can pull away but to be honest with you...I'm not 100% convinced that I'm doing the right thing by pulling away. I think he's insecure, for sure. But heck, God knows I got my insecurities too LOL!
It's funny that my male friends are like don't leave and my female friends (who've all heard these lines before) say RUN!!!
I vibe very well together...but, IDK. I'm too scared to take this chance with my heart...again.
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You should follow your heart. Don't listen to what others say, go with your gut. I already said this but will say it again, if he wasn't into you, he would not have cried and he would not be trying to live with you. I'm with the guys on this one. He has things he's working on he doesn't want you to know. The truth is you don't have to know them. Having a loving person around often allows people to overcome many things. And when that starts to happen, they sometimes get emotional because they can't believe that after all the hell there really is light.
 
Leigh....I hear you but you're telling the OP to possibly take on a huge emotionally challenging relationship....this man isn't ready for a relationship...he's unavailable and needs to take the time to get himself together FIRST.

I just think the OP would be in for a big challenge which: 1) will be draining and 2) may not pan out.
 
I say he has issues and baggage because he's being so emotional with it. A man like that will suck the life out of you. You have to use so much energy babying them and reassuring them. IMO, it's not worth the headache.

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tropical-punch said:
I've heard that its a way for him to exit the relationship. To me it comes off as insecure and if he really thinks he's not good enough he needs time off from relationships to work on himself.

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I agree. :yep:

Another thing to add.... You don't want to end up with a man who is VERY insecure or who really feels like you're waaay too good for him. It's never been a good experience based one what I've learned from my past. :nono: That just opens up a whole 'nother can of worms. :ohwell:
 
I say let this one go. If you decide to stay you will hear him repeat these words over and over again. And eventually you will feel manipulated because he will use it any time he doesn't want to be accountable for his not fully showing up in the relationship.
 
usually..im a lil more cut throat--but the one major detail that makes me believe he does in fact see something longterm with you--is the family members he introduced you to/youve spent time with...

my only 2cents is just keep living ya life..emotionally detach form him..keep ya heart mind and soul in tact and just live ya life..if he gets his lil heart together great--if not...blessing in disguise..very cliche but just do you boo!
 
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