Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
I'm really talking relationship-wise, but this could also pertain to everyday life.
I think it just hit me a few days ago that sometimes I may come across as being too nice (especially around guys that I am REALLY interested in). And I think that this is the reason why the guys I like never like me, but the ones that I could care 2 cents about are usually beating down my door.
I know that in general, usually we as black women don't have a problem telling it like it is, being assertive, or carrying ourselves with confidence. Don't get me wrong, I'm usually a straight shooter with my family and friends, so I don't think I have any problem in that area. But when it comes to guys that I like a LOT, people in authority at work, and even some co-workers, I feel that I could improve on being more assertive and authentic (my REAL self).
I tend to censor myself or just "go with the flow" sometimes when it comes to guys I'm REALLY interested in, or some co-workers at work. I wish I could just say whatever (in moderation of course!) and feel free to speak my mind without feeling strange/uneasy about it. I think I need to work on saying "NO" (especially @ work), and not caring so much what people say/think about me. I know a lot of this is due to how I was brought up (my father was very controlling & domineering).
Has anyone else felt this way? If so...how did you change? What have you done to become more assertive/outspoken around guys you like, or people who intimidate you somewhat?
You ladies who are already assertive/very confident: Were you guys always this way? Was it something you had to learn? Give me some tips!
I think it just hit me a few days ago that sometimes I may come across as being too nice (especially around guys that I am REALLY interested in). And I think that this is the reason why the guys I like never like me, but the ones that I could care 2 cents about are usually beating down my door.
I know that in general, usually we as black women don't have a problem telling it like it is, being assertive, or carrying ourselves with confidence. Don't get me wrong, I'm usually a straight shooter with my family and friends, so I don't think I have any problem in that area. But when it comes to guys that I like a LOT, people in authority at work, and even some co-workers, I feel that I could improve on being more assertive and authentic (my REAL self).
I tend to censor myself or just "go with the flow" sometimes when it comes to guys I'm REALLY interested in, or some co-workers at work. I wish I could just say whatever (in moderation of course!) and feel free to speak my mind without feeling strange/uneasy about it. I think I need to work on saying "NO" (especially @ work), and not caring so much what people say/think about me. I know a lot of this is due to how I was brought up (my father was very controlling & domineering).
Has anyone else felt this way? If so...how did you change? What have you done to become more assertive/outspoken around guys you like, or people who intimidate you somewhat?
You ladies who are already assertive/very confident: Were you guys always this way? Was it something you had to learn? Give me some tips!
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