Does anybody else feel lonely IRL on this hair journey?

[I Am So Blessed]

see, most of us are alone, thats why we should do more meetups.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

i know when i first began my journy, nobody could tell me nothing!!! my mother didnt believe my hair would grow. and now its a wholenother story. she does help me do length checks lately as far as holding the camera lol. my sister is learning from me. i yelled at her the other day because she had a COTTON SCRUNCHY, and a COTTON SCARF ON HEAD!! my face was in absolute horror! i yelled 'silk silk SILKK, you know better." and she leaves her ends out!! i cant stand to see loose ends brushing on shoulders!! especially while wearing a sweater,....,ok im bout to brake down.

 

[LushLox]

see, most of us are alone, thats why we should do more meetups.

Agreed, I was just going to suggest this.

 

[OhSoOthentik]

I must say that I am truly blessed on my journey. Out of my four sisters, three are natural. My mother is natural and is also a member here on LHCF (LovinLocks). She is very supportive and was the one who pushed me to go natural. Also at work there are several girls who are transitioning and also one who did her BC one month after me. I convinced one of the relaxed girls at work to start baggying and doign deep conditions. So I am not lonely at all. I have conversations all the time IRL with people about my HHJ and theirs as well. They see me looking at this site while I am at work and they love to look at all of your beautiful pictures with me. Even my caucasian colleagues have commented about how healthy my hair looks since my BC. Even my guy friend sometimes asks about my hair and the different styles I try and he always puts his hands in it. I thank you all for this thread because even though I knew I had a good support system around me, I realize after reading this how blessed and lucky I am.

Now with all that said. I do understand your frustrations because there are some whoo look at me like I am crazy, or they ask funny questions or make remarks like, "How do you get your hair to curl like that", "Oh well, you got that good hair, I cant wet mine everyday and go out", someone even told me, "Girl, if the beauty supply store ran out of hair, I would stay in the house". Sometimes I dont know what to say and it saddens me to see people feel that way about their hair. I have learned that this hair thing is really deep for AA women and we have truly been brainwashed. I am glad that I have been enlightened.

 

[fairyhairy]

"Girl, if the beauty supply store ran out of hair, I would stay in the house".

Like to come on here to discuss with people who understand don't mind not being able to talk to people IRL as i just get frustrated xxx

 

[ebonimama]

Initially I was a convert. My daughter came on the boards first. Then she told me about it. Just looking at everyone's progress was so inspirational that I dove into healthy hair care practices. I always head thick hair but it wasn't healthy and would never grow past sl.

I turned into a committed pj, but the trade off is that my hair is mbl now. I can talk about it with my oldest daughter, and I have convinced my youngest daughter to join the journey.

I have one girlfriend who has lovely sl hair. It's thick and black and shiny, but she get's a trim every 4 weeks or so, so it never gets any longer. When she catches me on this web site she just says that the hair is not real on here lol.

Thank God for my DD's.

 

[BayAreaDream]

YES. I feel lonely. No one knows how hard I try, it's tough. I have to watch my self at times because when I talk about my hair I mention the forum and folks are like?!?!?WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?! The only support I have is the SO because he's been there from the start other than that no.

 

[sqzbly1908]

Hey ladies....ever notice ho when you started your hair journey and tried to share your goals with others.....they didn't think you were serious or that your plans would backfire?

And then when you start showing some progress the hardcore haters say you're obsessed? Even when you got it down to a pretty simple regimen?

Why do ppl act like that?

@bolded - ALL THA' TIME!!! And those will be the main ones trying to figure out what you used or did to your hair (on the cool) - Dealing with it now - I don't even go into detail with these folks..when they ask I just tell them that "I wash and condition" no more/no less...

 

[Lola Laughs]

When I decided to go natural about 8 yrs ago, I was totally alone. But for years I wore mainly wore my hair flat-ironed and cut in a neck length bob, mainly because I was hair lazy and still had sh*tty hair practices. It wasn't much of a journey to say the least.

About a year ago my baby sis decided to BC, began lurking this board and would not stop talking about her hair journey. I was polite, supportive, but I could not understand why one would want to spend that much time thinking, reading and doing one's hair.

So I decided to dig a bit further and see what this was all about--now I'm hooked. Feels like I had been blindfolded all of these years as natural. That was a few months ago. Since then my sis got frustrated and relaxed, and really doesn't want to chat about hair anymore erplexed So I'm, alone again. I can feel her attention begin to wander when I go on a hair rant, but she politely leans and nods, just like I used to do...

Sis, if you're out there still lurking and reading this, it's not too late to come back......

 

[TaraDyan]

I've been hair obsessed since I was 14 years old, so all of my friends and family know what time it is with me and hair. Since this is nothing new to me, I guess the quick answer is no ... I don't feel lonely in my hair journey at all.

I will say that every time I get someone interested in growing their hair (family or friends), they get discouraged quickly and give up, then I'm back to obsessing all by myself again.

I've been going it alone for years ... even before I found this site. I guess I'm just used to it.

 

[lovenharmony]

This board is RL to me, so nope! I consider LHCF my hair family

 

[irsgirl]

I start talking to a coworker(she's white)telling her about my homemade garlic condis and she said,"boy I am glad I am not black" and I said "I can think of hundred reasons YOU may not want to be black and hair is not one of them". I never opened my mouth about my hair to her again and barely about anything else after that. I talk to my two sisters and my best friend about my hair. I have made up hair oils for all three and they used them faithfully, but they will only used it if I make them up and give it to them.

One sister is transitioning and has the cutest twa the other sister is stretching relaxers and on on a bun challenge for a year. They didn't go the boards though, but we have limited conversation about our journeys. I am still grateful for us guys on LHCF. Some days I don't post, I just look at your pictures and read your post and that gives me incouragement.

 

[Triniwegian]

I talk about hair sometimes with my SO's sisters, one of them is going natural I don't know if it is because of me, but she asks me questions and I answer.
I don't get too deep into it..
Most peope don't care about hair too much and i am not going to try to convince anyone that black hair can grow.

ETA: I have to add that my SO is very supportive and I can blabber to him about my hair...and he actually listens. Sometimes he will even shampoo my hair...lol

 

[Triniwegian]

I start talking to a coworker(she's white)telling her about my homemade garlic condis and she said,"boy I am glad I am not black" and I said "I can think of hundred reasons YOU may not want to be black and hair is not one of them". I never opened my mouth about my hair to her again and barely about anything else after that. I talk to my two sisters and my best friend about my hair. I have made up hair oils for all three and they used them faithfully, but they will only used it if I make them up and give it to them.

One sister is transitioning and has the cutest twa the other sister is stretching relaxers and on on a bun challenge for a year. They didn't go the boards though, but we have limited conversation about our journeys. I am still grateful for us guys on LHCF. Some days I don't post, I just look at your pictures and read your post and that gives me incouragement.

WTF?????

 

[LushLox]

I start talking to a coworker(she's white)telling her about my homemade garlic condis and she said,"boy I am glad I am not black" and I said "I can think of hundred reasons YOU may not want to be black and hair is not one of them". I never opened my mouth about my hair to her again and barely about anything else after that. I talk to my two sisters and my best friend about my hair. I have made up hair oils for all three and they used them faithfully, but they will only used it if I make them up and give it to them.

One sister is transitioning and has the cutest twa the other sister is stretching relaxers and on on a bun challenge for a year. They didn't go the boards though, but we have limited conversation about our journeys. I am still grateful for us guys on LHCF. Some days I don't post, I just look at your pictures and read your post and that gives me incouragement.

What the hell? Ignorance certainly isn't dead!

 

[Diva_Esq]

I used to be really into sharing all the details, but I will just let my progress speak volumes! A lot of people see what I'm doing quietly and ask genuine questions. Only then do I give info. I'm doing this FOR ME! Purely selfish reasons...and being a wife, mother, etc., I don't get to do a lot of things selfishly. I'm lavishing in this journey and my hair. They'll be jockin' me once this transition is over and I reach my goals!

Hang in there, OP! Alone aint lonely!

 

[HairBella08]

I've been very frustrated lately. I think another member said it best when she stated that its just frustrating that it seems to take forever to seee progress when you feel you're doing everything you can do. I have a great regimen and products that work. Now I just have to be patient. I know this but it feels like I will never see APL. I'm just going to keep on keeping on. I wish I had more support IRL, but that's just not the case. One day I'll convert those who think I have a "crazy hair obsession." The proof will be in the health and length of my hair.

 

[OhSoOthentik]

I start talking to a coworker(she's white)telling her about my homemade garlic condis and she said,"boy I am glad I am not black" and I said "I can think of hundred reasons YOU may not want to be black and hair is not one of them". I never opened my mouth about my hair to her again and barely about anything else after that. I talk to my two sisters and my best friend about my hair. I have made up hair oils for all three and they used them faithfully, but they will only used it if I make them up and give it to them.

I think they honestly dont realize how ignorant they sound. I hear comments sometimes and I have to just keep quiet and walk away

 

[nubiennze]

I wouldn't say lonely per se--I've never been in the habit of discussing hair care practices--but it would be nice to be in an environment more tolerant and appreciative of natural hair...

I would rather be alone in this hair journey than to be surrounded by naysayers and dream killers.

Sometimes you have to look within to get that courage to keep going on. Don't lose hope. (((hug)))

Wise words not only for the HHJ but for life in general.

DH hates my hair so I don't discuss it with him.

@bolded: May I ask why? From your pics I don't see what there is to hate...

I feel lonely sometime too. My husband is very suppotive of my hair journey and he's my length checker every month. Feb/27 will be a year since I loss my mom to cancer and my journey is for the both of us. When she would lose her hair to chemo, I would lose my hair too! The look on her face, her crown and glory gone in a blink of an eye. I just would say don't worry mom our hair will grow back together. My co-workers laugh and say that's not ng that's naps when are you going to perm that stuff. I don't entertain them, I told my husband and he just said they were jealous, I was a beautiful woman and can still rock any kind of hair style and they can't. It is about 4 women on my job between apl and bsl ages 45-52. everyone else short or weave with no good haircare practice. I am the only girl out of 5 brothers, I have 7 sister -in- laws (two from my husbands side) we only talk causal no hanging out or talking about hair care. I thank God for my Mom, my Husband and the women of LHCF! I can talk to you all the time and not be laughed at, talked about behind my back. I can come to the four of you and talk and recieve all the love and suppot I need. Thank You

@bolded: Me too--being intrinsically motivated definitely helps, but I bet having a wonderful husband doesn't hurt either.

 

[Babygurl]

I remember when I first started taking care of my hair, no one cared or even wanted to talk about it, my friends and family thought I was crazy for washing my hair more than once every 2 weeks, bunning and baggying, everyone just thought this was another "thing" I was trying so I used the forum for my support back then (2004), amazing that once my hair started growing THEN everyone wanted to know what I was doing, so I always say show them better than you can tell them, and come the the forum and other places like it to find your support!

 

[eternalsotsm]

I am glad to be on this forum, because lately my mom said things to me that hurts like, "Why are you going natural? Your hair is so peasy." when i run to her, showing her my cute, tiny coil. or like, "I don't know about your hair...look how it is when you flat iron...get a relaxer." or what she said just now because i'm transitioning and i was getting ready for a wash, "You gonna keep looking unkept and peasy like that?"

Ugh. I'm glad i'm going back to school this week. In about 2 more years...we'll see who has thick, beautiful, rich hair.

 

[merilusmims]

I feel completely alone
Get put down for washing more than once in two weeks
And all that
If it wasnt for you ladies would probably not make it.... Thanks LHCF...