Does a marriage have to be consummated for it to really be a marriage?

[LovelyNaps26]

I posted this in the relationships forum but figured i'd post it here as well.

I read this article and it is pretty sad. Here is the link. Below is the beginning of the woman's question. I always thought a marriage had to be consummated for it to be fully complete in the spiritual and legal sense. This is why people can get annulments, rather than divorces if there has been no sex.


I am 31 years old and my husband is 32. We have been married for four years now. We have never had sex. Never. Nothing at all. My husband ingests too much tension and anxiety in his job, finances, and our relationship. We tried to engage in intercourse a couple of times when we were first married, but he couldn't get excited enough to penetrate me. Then we started making excuses as to why we couldn't do it. It became a stigma for us.

What do you think? Is this woman really married?

Would YOU stay on for four consecutive years w/ nothing?

 

[CoilyFields]

When you make that vow to God and follow the law of the land concerning marriage (licence, witness etc.) then you are married.

 

[JinaRicci]

Yes, she is really married even though she can get a legal annulment. No I couldn't stay on. Sex is vital to a marriage emotionally & spiritually. It's becoming one flesh.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

OT: What married adult could not have sex for FOUR years? I think he should be going to the doctor to find out if there's a medical problem or she needs to go to a PI to find out who is really taking care of him?

 

[phynestone]

^^^^^To add to the above, what young married people do this? I know there are older couples that don't have sex, but people in their prime? Idk...

 

[Prudent1]

OT: What married adult could not have sex for FOUR years? I think he should be going to the doctor to find out if there's a medical problem or she needs to go to a PI to find out who is really taking care of him?

I personally know a young, intelligent, couple who did not have sex for FIVE years. As far as I know there was no infidelity involved. That would not work for me. I found that to be VERY strange but they seemed oblivious to my POV. I didn't share my POV since it was not my place to do so but that could not be me. There were no medical/physical problems either. FIVE years...

 

[Guitarhero]

Yes, they are legally married but not truly. And I would recommend a divorce/annulment because he has not held up to his end of the marriage bargain. In God's eyes? Depends upon your religious tenets. In mine? No. They could annul because it's an invalid and badly formed "marriage.".

 

[JinaRicci]

I personally know a young, intelligent, couple who did not have sex for FIVE years. As far as I know there was no infidelity involved. That would not work for me. I found that to be VERY strange but they seemed oblivious to my POV. I didn't share my POV since it was not my place to do so but that could not be me. There were no medical/physical problems either. FIVE years...

A young couple I know is supposedly practicing celibacy too. But it's more on the woman. It's crazy.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

A young couple I know is supposedly practicing celibacy too. But it's more on the woman. It's crazy.

I thought celibacy was for singles. What would be the benefit while you're married? Something's off about that to me. Marriage without coloring ... coloring is a demonstration of affection. Maybe one spouse is truly homosexual but married out of convenience? IDK.

 

[LovelyNaps26]

I strongly think that all the couples are Christians even though they didn't explicitly say so. My heart broke

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLhakQJiibc&playnext=1&videos=6qIQG-D3IUs

 

[JinaRicci]

I thought celibacy was for singles. What would be the benefit while you're married? Something's off about that to me. Marriage without coloring ... coloring is a demonstration of affection. Maybe one spouse is truly homosexual but married out of convenience? IDK.

I don't get it either. In this case they have consummated their marriage. Personally I think it's selfish. Especially for Christians who know all the texts pertaining to this.

It could be emotional or psychological issues too.

 

[Foxglove]

What if there is a medical problem stopping them from having intercourse?

 

[JinaRicci]

^^ You mean in general? I think that's different but to me the couple should be looking to solve that problem too.