Do you tell your biyfriend how much money you make/have

We discussed debts and credit scores before salary. However I have access to his bank account but not him to mine.
 
Re: Do you tell your boyfriend how much money you make/have

spelmanlocks said:
Yes DH knew how much I made when we were dating and I think if you are seriously dating then finances should be something that is discussed so that once talk of marriage enters the picture there are no surprises from either end. Both parties need to already know what they are getting themself into to prevent any misunderstandings. Sometimes people act like they make a lot of money but really they are barely living paycheck to paycheck and have a boatload of debt. That's not good information to have dropped on you after the engagement ring nor the wedding ring.
Click to expand...

This right here. IMHO if you're in a serious/matured relationship, you should be able to discuss finances (and everything else) openly. Now... if you choose to set up a nest egg or rainy day fund afterwards... that's up to you. SO and I talk about funds openly and make plans accordingly. We understand that we have to work together and it's not a what's his is mine and what's mine is mine type of deal. He tells and shows me exactly what's in his savings/checking accounts. I never ask because I never have to. And vice versa.
 
I prefer to share that info. early on. Mostly for my own benefit. I'd rather not invest my time/energy into a relationship with someone who's deep in debt, manages money poorly and doesn't meet my financial expectations.
 
I think that when you're seriously dating you should, at a minimum, know about their salary and whether or not they have any substantial debts. As other people have alluded to, you do NOT want to get engaged to someone only to find out that they have $150,000 in debt that they didn't tell you about. And that sort of thing happens a lot more often than you'd think. Once you're engaged, then I think it's appropriate to get into further detail.

My fiance and I have always been very open with each other when it comes to finances, and it has served us well so far.
 
DarkJoy said:
Since finances are the top reason for divorce, this should be divulged when talk of engagement begins.

I'd honestly hate to marry a man and on the honeymoon find out he's $85,000 in debt and only makes $35,000 a year. I expect a man would want to know these details as well.
Click to expand...

This all the way. He doesn't need to know on the first date, but definitely before a serious commitment is made - both ways. With SO, we both knew relatively early on for various reasons and he was always wide open with me and never had anything to hide. Then again, he was looking for a serious, committed relationship.
 
I don't say anything much about how much I make. First off people always think Doctor equals money, usually way more than I make reguaradless of the fact that live pretty meagerly.

I'm also a big saver, casue I'm single and am still building a nest egg for retirement and person finance.

I think that is is most important to find some one that has similar spending habits as you that way the expectation of money is set. All that being said I never ask for money but try to never pay for anything for any one else. It sets a bad president that I don't want to continue.
 
I don't understand why a boyfriend needs to know your salary. I can see asking about your debt if he plans to pay off your loan. But knowing how much you make? For what? Does he need money from you?
 
missann said:
I don't understand why a boyfriend needs to know your salary. I can see asking about your debt if he plans to pay off your loan. But knowing how much you make? For what? Does he need money from you?
Click to expand...

I have always been wary of anyone who wants to know how much I make.
 
I don't remember when my husband and I discussed how much we made. It might have been before we got engaged. Before you get married you should know how much each other makes and the amount of debt you have. I would think you would want some idea of the lifestyle you would have together.

My husband and I have a financial planner who has our financial info and gives us a yearly update on income, expenses, assets, debts etc. We both read it so we would have to know what the other person makes. We also get our taxes done together so there wouldn't be any way to be secretive.
 
At first I was against it , but when I gained more trust down the road , I began opening up .. Not so much about how MUCH I make , but how I budget it . He knows I take my money seriously and he has to too .
 
missann said:
I don't understand why a boyfriend needs to know your salary. I can see asking about your debt if he plans to pay off your loan. But knowing how much you make? For what? Does he need money from you?
Click to expand...

Because I don't date...I court. I'm getting groomed for marriage and the financial aspect comes with the territory.
 
PrissiSippi said:
Because I don't date...I court. I'm getting groomed for marriage and the financial aspect comes with the territory.
Click to expand...

Even moreso with a traditional "courting" view, wouldn't a man - especially one you've been "groomed for" - assume the financial responsibility (paying all bills, saving, etc)?

Why would he be sweating your money (unless it's debt)? If anything, I'd expect a timeline to when I could quit working.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top