Do You Kiss on the First Date??
- Thread starter Lindy
- Start date
We are having a discussion in the office today on whether it's appropriate for a guy to ask for a kiss on the first date.
If you were into the guy and there was chemistry there, would you do it? And if so, how do you feel about him ASKING for a kiss??
No problem. If I'm feeling it, I'm going for it.
But then, I'm not one who subscribes to there being a certain amount of time before you get physical with a man. If it feels right, it feels right.
IMO, those rules of not sleeping with a man before "x" amount of time are out of date and based on misinformation.
All my guy friends claim to have the 3 date rule. Psssht, whatever. We've seen them not have sex with a girl and still chase her ass around 2,3,4 months into it. Because they were feeling HER.
If dude is feeling YOU (not your body, not your hair, not your eye makeup and shoes but YOU), he's going to continue feeling YOU whether or not you sleep with him in 4 dates or not. And if dude drops you after 3 dates ... and you didn't sleep with him - it's probably NOT because you didn't sleep with him. He just wasn't feeling you from the getgo.
I was strictly against it.
And my bf just did it on the first date without asking or warning.
erplexed
When I looked at him like he was crazy, he said 'I'll show you something' and did it again, this time with even more fervor and passion. :crazy:
I demanded that he take me home immediately and didn't return his phone calls. And about a few weeks and several florists later, I 'took him back'
All that to say... I don't think they should ASK. That's weird.
It's just up to the two people involved 
And my bf just did it on the first date without asking or warning.
erplexedWhen I looked at him like he was crazy, he said 'I'll show you something' and did it again, this time with even more fervor and passion. :crazy:
I demanded that he take me home immediately and didn't return his phone calls. And about a few weeks and several florists later, I 'took him back'
All that to say... I don't think they should ASK. That's weird.
It's just up to the two people involved Nola Darling
New Member
I think a kiss on the cheek is sooo cute. But nothing else.
audacious1
New Member
I don't. Call me crazy, but I think kissing is more intimate than sex. I'm not saying I go around sexing people all willy nilly 
It just takes a certain emotional connection for me to want to kiss someone. And it just don't happen on the first date 
It just takes a certain emotional connection for me to want to kiss someone. And it just don't happen on the first date 
CaramelPrincezz
Well-Known Member
I've never kissed on the first date...but i'm not totally opposed to it
glamazon386
Well-Known Member
Generally no. If I really felt inclined to I might. But that happens rarely. They're lucky if they get a hug. And they certainly won't get a kiss if they ask for one.
Colliecole
New Member
My SO asked to kiss me on our first date. He said "You know, you have the kiss me face on right now." and I said "No!" all embarrassed because I probably did. So he said, "Well, if I was to kiss you right now would you get mad?" I said "...no" and he went in for the kill!
I say as long as the date is going/went well, then kissing is fine. It just has to be appropriate. No panties on the first date though, that's a no no.....He got those on the 2nd date
I say as long as the date is going/went well, then kissing is fine. It just has to be appropriate. No panties on the first date though, that's a no no.....He got those on the 2nd date
My SO asked to kiss me on our first date. He said "You know, you have the kiss me face on right now." and I said "No!" all embarrassed because I probably did. So he said, "Well, if I was to kiss you right now would you get mad?" I said "...no" and he went in for the kill!
I say as long as the date is going/went well, then kissing is fine. It just has to be appropriate. No panties on the first date though, that's a no no.....He got those on the 2nd date
...exactly. If it feels right - I'm not opposed to it.
The problem is - how often does it feel right???
If a guy asked for a kiss I might feel a bit weird about saying yah or nay. Think it's to do with the prude in me. I'd rather he just leaned in, if I am into him I'd reciprocate and we'd kiss if not I'll pull back and roll my eyes like only a typical nigerian woman can.
If he turns out to be a bad kisser it'll be our 1st and last date.
If he turns out to be a bad kisser it'll be our 1st and last date.
hairsothick
Black and Magical
If I am feeling him, then it is fine. I would rather him just go for it than ask me, because I'll probably laugh and say no, lol. No tongue though.
Bad kissers get kicked to the curb!
Bad kissers get kicked to the curb!
1QTPie
Elder Sim
I don't really have set rules. And I don't tend to date people I don't really know. Meaning most of my "dates" come from a pool of men I turned into friends. 
So I guess, yeh, I kiss on the first date, which is usually 6 months - 6 years after I meet them.
The few 'stranger' dates I have been on, I don't even like to be touched, let alone kissed. ew.
So I guess, yeh, I kiss on the first date, which is usually 6 months - 6 years after I meet them. The few 'stranger' dates I have been on, I don't even like to be touched, let alone kissed. ew.
gone_fishing
New Member
New analysis reveals human mouth carries more germs than expected
BY KRISTIN WEIDENBACH
The human mouth is awash with bacteria. Mostly neighborly bugs, they live on our teeth and gums, helping to digest food and to ward off attack by less friendly, disease-causing bacteria that can steal their way in.
Stanford researchers have now shown that more of these oral inhabitants exist than previously thought. Using a combination of old and new scientific methods to study a scraping of plaque from a healthy human mouth, the researchers found evidence of 37 unique bacteria that microbiologists had never before recorded. Some were closely related to bacteria that scientists are familiar with, but others were very different.
Knowing more about the bacteria that reside in a normal, healthy mouth may help physicians understand changes in the bacterial population that can lead to gingivitis, periodontitis and tooth decay.
"Our data suggest that a significant proportion of the resident human bacterial flora remain poorly characterized, even within this well-studied and familiar microbial environment," said David Relman, MD, assistant professor of medicine and of microbiology and immunology at Stanford, and lead author of the study published in the December 7 issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Relman and colleagues conducted the research in his lab at the Veterans Affairs Palo Alto Health Care System.
According to Relman, the subgingival crevice -- the deep gum pocket cradling each tooth -- has been repeatedly scrutinized in the search for microbes. Even though almost 500 bacterial strains have been identified already, Relman believes this may be only a fraction of the bacteria living in this oral groove.
Oral bacteria have traditionally been studied by taking a scraping or sample from inside the mouth, growing the bugs in the laboratory and then identifying different species according to biochemical tests and the type of food source that each bacteria prefers. Using this method, the Relman team identified bacteria found in a sample of plaque taken from the subgingival crevice.
They also searched the same sample using molecular techniques. Instead of nurturing the bacteria in the lab, they prepared DNA directly from the plaque and studied each genetic sequence that had a bacterial signature. Comparing the results, they found that the molecular method yielded many new bacteria. Not only did the method reveal bugs that had never before been found in the mouth, many were bugs that had not yet been documented by microbiologists.
The team discovered 31 bacteria using the molecular method. In contrast, the traditional approach, which only identifies bacteria that can be cultivated in the lab, uncovered only six new bugs.
"Sequence-based environmental microbial surveys have taught us that cultivation methods woefully underrepresent the true extent of bacterial diversity," said Relman.
Although the cultivation method traditionally used by clinical microbiology labs did not uncover the bacterial diversity revealed by the molecular technique, the researchers found that some bacteria were more readily recovered the old way, indicating that DNA analysis and cultivation both have a role in the comprehensive study of human microbial populations.
Characterization of previously undocumented oral bacteria is part of the Relman team's larger effort to identify rare and unusual microbes that make their home in the human body -- many cohabiting benignly but some causing mysterious human disease.
Ian Kroes, MD, lead author of the study, was a medical student in Relman's lab at the time the research was conducted. Paul Lepp, PhD, a postdoctoral fellow in the lab and the third member of the research team, conducted much of the DNA analysis.
The research was funded by the Donald E. and Delia B. Baxter Foundation and the Lucille P. Markey Charitable Trust. SR
- I have to get to know him before I can get to know his germs.
BY KRISTIN WEIDENBACH
The human mouth is awash with bacteria. Mostly neighborly bugs, they live on our teeth and gums, helping to digest food and to ward off attack by less friendly, disease-causing bacteria that can steal their way in.
Stanford researchers have now shown that more of these oral inhabitants exist than previously thought. Using a combination of old and new scientific methods to study a scraping of plaque from a healthy human mouth, the researchers found evidence of 37 unique bacteria that microbiologists had never before recorded. Some were closely related to bacteria that scientists are familiar with, but others were very different.
Knowing more about the bacteria that reside in a normal, healthy mouth may help physicians understand changes in the bacterial population that can lead to gingivitis, periodontitis and tooth decay.
"Our data suggest that a significant proportion of the resident human bacterial flora remain poorly characterized, even within this well-studied and familiar microbial environment," said David Relman, MD, assistant professor of medicine and of microbiology and immunology at Stanford, and lead author of the study published in the December 7 issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Relman and colleagues conducted the research in his lab at the Veterans Affairs Palo Alto Health Care System.
According to Relman, the subgingival crevice -- the deep gum pocket cradling each tooth -- has been repeatedly scrutinized in the search for microbes. Even though almost 500 bacterial strains have been identified already, Relman believes this may be only a fraction of the bacteria living in this oral groove.
Oral bacteria have traditionally been studied by taking a scraping or sample from inside the mouth, growing the bugs in the laboratory and then identifying different species according to biochemical tests and the type of food source that each bacteria prefers. Using this method, the Relman team identified bacteria found in a sample of plaque taken from the subgingival crevice.
They also searched the same sample using molecular techniques. Instead of nurturing the bacteria in the lab, they prepared DNA directly from the plaque and studied each genetic sequence that had a bacterial signature. Comparing the results, they found that the molecular method yielded many new bacteria. Not only did the method reveal bugs that had never before been found in the mouth, many were bugs that had not yet been documented by microbiologists.
The team discovered 31 bacteria using the molecular method. In contrast, the traditional approach, which only identifies bacteria that can be cultivated in the lab, uncovered only six new bugs.
"Sequence-based environmental microbial surveys have taught us that cultivation methods woefully underrepresent the true extent of bacterial diversity," said Relman.
Although the cultivation method traditionally used by clinical microbiology labs did not uncover the bacterial diversity revealed by the molecular technique, the researchers found that some bacteria were more readily recovered the old way, indicating that DNA analysis and cultivation both have a role in the comprehensive study of human microbial populations.
Characterization of previously undocumented oral bacteria is part of the Relman team's larger effort to identify rare and unusual microbes that make their home in the human body -- many cohabiting benignly but some causing mysterious human disease.
Ian Kroes, MD, lead author of the study, was a medical student in Relman's lab at the time the research was conducted. Paul Lepp, PhD, a postdoctoral fellow in the lab and the third member of the research team, conducted much of the DNA analysis.
The research was funded by the Donald E. and Delia B. Baxter Foundation and the Lucille P. Markey Charitable Trust. SR
ScandalousBeauty
New Member
I don't. I'm very old fashioned when it comes to dating and I don't like doing anything until, like the 3rd date. lol
Sistaslick
New Member
Uh uh... all he's getting is a "friend" hug if that. You know those sideways space in the middle kind of hugs.
I'd never kiss on the first date . . . thats much too intimate for me. Until you've gotten a certain amount of "trust" or "respect" from me, you can hang it up buddy.
I'd never kiss on the first date . . . thats much too intimate for me. Until you've gotten a certain amount of "trust" or "respect" from me, you can hang it up buddy.
Divine_Order
New Member
Kissing?
Kissing grosses me out! I refuse to do it. I've had a couple of guys actually hold my chin so they could kiss me on the mouth.
Kissing grosses me out! I refuse to do it. I've had a couple of guys actually hold my chin so they could kiss me on the mouth.
caribeandiva
Human being
Asking for a kiss is the quickest way to kill the chemistry. I've kissed guys on first dates before. Hey if the chemistry's there then so be it.
STLCoverGirl
New Member
Uh uh... all he's getting is a "friend" hug if that. You know those sideways space in the middle kind of hugs.
I'd never kiss on the first date . . . thats much too intimate for me. Until you've gotten a certain amount of "trust" or "respect" from me, you can hang it up buddy.
I went out on a date with a guy once and everything went really well...until the end of the night.
He was really funny and had me laughing all night, but at the end of the night he came in for the hug...which is cool with me.
As he was hugging me he started to do pelvic grunts kind of hard up against me and started laughing about it. I was literaly in shock, I was frozen, lol.
Needless to say homeboy never got a callback...ole perverted arse.
frankie
New Member
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I don't have a standard rule about kissing. But, my SO and I did not kiss on our first date. He told me I had to give him a kiss on his cheek, and I told him NO. I told him he could give me a kiss on my cheek, and he told me NO back. So there was no kiss that night. We have since made up for it.
. I told him he could give me a kiss on my cheek, and he told me NO back. So there was no kiss that night. We have since made up for it.
lotusspecter
Well-Known Member
I went out on a date with a guy once and everything went really well...until the end of the night.
He was really funny and had me laughing all night, but at the end of the night he came in for the hug...which is cool with me.
As he was hugging me he started to do pelvic grunts kind of hard up against me and started laughing about it. I was literaly in shock, I was frozen, lol.
Needless to say homeboy never got a callback...ole perverted arse.
WTF?!
Some men have no shame whatsoever. I do kiss on the first date if it feels right. That's the best way I can tell if someone "does it" for me or not. It's more efficient if it happens sooner than later. I can't be wasting time on boring or even worse, awful kissers.
caltron
Well-Known Member
I went out on a date with a guy once and everything went really well...until the end of the night.
He was really funny and had me laughing all night, but at the end of the night he came in for the hug...which is cool with me.
As he was hugging me he started to do pelvic grunts kind of hard up against me and started laughing about it. I was literaly in shock, I was frozen, lol.
Needless to say homeboy never got a callback...ole perverted arse.
You poor thing!! That's gross!I do kiss on the first date if there's chemistry there. Sometimes I kiss even if the chemistry's not there. I love kissing.
**Glamourlicious**
Well-Known Member
No. I had a bad experience. I dated this guy...and a friend saw us out and texted me a warning...he has herpes. erplexed
I was scurred...
My current SO was a hook up....I wasnt afraid with him because I felt I "knew" him...even though you still never know. LOL But even still we did not kiss for about 3 dates.
erplexedI was scurred...
My current SO was a hook up....I wasnt afraid with him because I felt I "knew" him...even though you still never know. LOL But even still we did not kiss for about 3 dates.
klb120475
New Member
Uh uh... all he's getting is a "friend" hug if that. You know those sideways space in the middle kind of hugs.
I'd never kiss on the first date . . . thats much too intimate for me. Until you've gotten a certain amount of "trust" or "respect" from me, you can hang it up buddy.
That's what I like to call the "church hug".
