Do you have a "long hair mentality" or a "short hair mentality"?

[msa]

So I was lurking on another board look: I visit lots of hair boards) and there was a thread where someone asked how to grow long hair. One of the responses really resonated with me.

I have my own private theory about what it takes to grow long hair ;-)

If you were until now a shorthair, then you have to accept that longhair mentality is different from shorthair mentality. With shorthair mentality, you may never be able to grow long hair because unknowingly, you make it impossible for your hair to grow longer - it will break after a certain length.

Shorthair mentality is prevalent in our society. It means: hair is a raw material for styling. It must be cut, colored, permed or ironed to change it from its natural state, and these procedures have to be repeated regularly in order to hold nature (i.e., growth and irregularity) at bay. Shorthair mentality means that you need a stylist and a style, plus styling products. Fashion changes, and so does the hair.

Longhair mentality is a minority phenomenom nowadays. It sees hair as individual expression that is most beautiful in its natural state. Hair must be left alone as much as possible, treated carefully and preserved from damage. Longhair mentality means that you care for your hair, style it yourself in updos, and embrace its perceived shortcomings (every healthy head of hair has its own beauty). Longhair means that you need quality instruments for care and simple, natural recipes for hair care, based not on commercial promises but personal experience. Fashion changes, but our personal features stay the same and so does our hair.

Of course the world is not black and white, and there are many shades between these two mentalities. My experience shows that the closer you are to the longhair mentality part of the scale, the easier you will find it to let your hair grow.

It's not always easy. If you were used to experiment a lot with colors or styles, you may get bored. If you were used to act out emotional states on your hair and had a lot of spontaneous re-stylings depending on your mood, long hair may not be the right thing for you.

But if you are willing to devote some attention to the actual reaction your hair shows to your haircare regimen, and you are able to let go of the commercial ideal of Pantene hair ;-) then your hair may surprise you and grow nice and long.

It's an exciting journey. I discovered that hair is reallly an important part of our bodies and an extension of our souls. There is a spiritual side to long hair, it's a natural, untamed and vital part of ourselves.

The bold especially stood out to me. Anyway, I tend to agree with her, there is a difference between "short hair mentality" and "long hair mentality". And like she said, there are many many places in the middle of the two ends. I don't think long hair mentality is limited to being all natural, only protective styling, and only using natural recipes on your hair, but the gist of what she's saying is what's important.

So where do you fall on the scale? And what does "long hair mentality" mean to you?

 

[jamaraa]

Long hair, most def. I'm too conservative to be a short hair mentality person (by her def). I've never had short hair, for starters. I dislike hair dressers, at least most of them. I think many of the fashionable styles would be hugely unflattering for me. I have no idea of what to do w/ short hair. In short, I'm a longhair all the way.

Which board did this come from, LHC?

 

[Rei]

Yeah, this is why I'm trying to do a weave this winter, because I am still in the short hair mentality of "I want something new!" I get bored with my hair easily, and although I'm not too crazy about fake hair, I'd rather do a sew in and get my urge to color/straighten out of my system than suffer a setback. I see exactly what they are saying.

I'm a shorthair mentalist, and I think a lot of Black women are.

 

[that_1_grrrl]

I have long hair mentally. I use mostly natural products, I rarely use heat, and I do not style my hair.

To me, where I fail in long hair mentality is remembering to always be gentle with my hair.

 

[msa]

Long hair, most def. I'm too conservative for a short hair mentality person (by her def).

Which board did this come from LHC?

Yup, it came from LHC (Melisande posted it)...they DEFINITELY have a long hair mentality over there.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

msa: I must admit that I had "Short Hair" Mentality. In the fact that, I was a Weekly Salon Go-er and a Fashionista for as long as I can remember, so I would always be in Search of the Latest, Baddest, Banging Hair-Cut.

I always wanted a Neat, Shorter Hair Cut to Rock my Clothes, Make Up, etc....And I only Cared about Hair Style and Never: Hair Health. If it was in the Latest, Baddest Short-Style, I was okay. I always had reasonably, Healthy, Thick Hair, that I kept cut short (by Choice).

After my Salon Mishap of 2008, My Perception of "Hair" TOTALLY Changed with my Becoming a DIY. I now Have Awesome Respect for My Hair (after losing 90% of it). Now I am able to care for my hair all on my own and value it's potential of both Health and Length.

So, this has been a total change in my Mentality and I have learned so much and now I fully know and understand how to (and how not to) Treat My Hair.

 

[FlowerHair]

I think I have a long hair mentality - I feel that short hair on women was created for hair dressers to make a good living, but long hair is a sign of patience and setting longterm goals IMO.

It's been fun to do something that is for a lifetime, and not just for a few months.

I have the same attitude towards exercise and some other areas of my life. Growing long hair has taught me a lot

 

[MyAngelEyez~C~U]

I think I am getting a long hair mentality......is there an in between choice, lol???

 

[msa]

I think I am getting a long hair mentality......is there an in between choice, lol???

Of course there is...like the post said, there are many shades between the two.

And it depends on how you define it as well. So what's your definition?

 

[jamaraa]

msa: I must admit that I had "Short Hair" Mentality. In the fact that, I was a Weekly Salon Go-er and a Fashionista for as long as I can remember, so I would always be in Search of the Latest, Baddest, Banging Hair-Cut.

I always wanted a Neat, Shorter Hair Cut to Rock my Clothes, Make Up, etc....And I only Cared about Hair Style and Never: Hair Health. If it was in the Latest, Baddest Short-Style, I was okay. I always had reasonably, Healthy, Thick Hair, that I kept cut short (by Choice).

After my Salon Mishap of 2008, My Perception of "Hair" TOTALLY Changed with my Becoming a DIY. I now Have Awesome Respect for My Hair (after losing 90% of it). Now I am able to care for my hair all on my own and value it's potential of both Health and Length.

So, this has been a total change in my Mentality and I have learned so much and now I fully know and understand how to (and how not to) Treat My Hair.

As much as I adore fashion, it's the enemy of long hair if you let it be. Even models w/ long hair eventually end up getting it jacked by all the drama that gets done to it.

 

[msa]

I think I have a long hair mentality - I feel that short hair on women was created for hair dressers to make a good living, but long hair is a sign of patience and setting longterm goals IMO.

It's been fun to do something that is for a lifetime, and not just for a few months.

I have the same attitude towards exercise and some other areas of my life. Growing long hair has taught me a lot

I actually was thinking of you and some others when I posted.

The bold is really important...I think if we applied the long hair mentality to many different areas of our lives we would see lots of improvement.

 

[jamaraa]

I think I have a long hair mentality - I feel that short hair on women was created for hair dressers to make a good living, but long hair is a sign of patience and setting longterm goals IMO.

It's been fun to do something that is for a lifetime, and not just for a few months.

I have the same attitude towards exercise and some other areas of my life. Growing long hair has taught me a lot

Flower...LOL, you're most totally a long hair. Amen about the hair dressers. It's a 'spiracy I tell ya!

 

[FlowerHair]

I actually was thinking of you and some others when I posted.

The bold is really important...I think if we applied the long hair mentality to many different areas of our lives we would see lots of improvement.

I think so too
It's the ultimate reaction to the quick-fix mentality.

I'm impatient in a lot of ways, but somehow I stuck with my plan and I made it this far. It's really a great metaphor for other goals in life

 

[ceebee3]

That's a great post. I've never had short hair mentatility, heck before I came here I had no idea about any type of hair mentatility.

I never really paid attention to my hair before now so I think I'm developing a long hair mentality.

That seems to be the way my grandmother and aunties think and they always had long hair. I wish I would have paid more attention when I was younger.

 

[jamaraa]

Yup, it came from LHC (Melisande posted it)...they DEFINITELY have a long hair mentality over there.

Most of the women there are unconventional in many ways. They just don't think about hair or life as most folks do. In some ways their hair is almost rebellion AND an excuse for cute hair toys!

 

[msa]

Most of the women there are unconventional in many ways. They just don't think about hair or life as most folks do. In some ways their hair is almost rebellion AND an excuse for cute hair toys!

That's very true...and they're very inspiring. I've really been trying to be committed to the long hair process and it's a very hard lesson for me to learn. But they provide an amazing example for me.

 

[Amerie123]

long hair mentality. i had short hair mentality a long time ago (even before LHCF).

 

[sharifeh]

First of all, I gasped when I saw msa started a thread.

Hmm, I definitely DON'T have short hair mentality but i don't know if I have long hair mentality either.
I don't experiment with my hair too much , nor do I get "bored" with it per se.

"Shorthair mentality means that you need a stylist and a style, plus styling products."

I do need a stylist.....

I was thinking too, maybe this is why a lot of us had such long hair when we were little, I know I did, maybe because we didn't have any inhibiting mentalities.

Hmmm this is very interesting, I never thought of this before.
I'm going to go reflect on this.

 

[Miss AJ]

Definitely long hair mentality. I've never had the desire to cut my hair into the latest style or even get my long hair styled into the cutest updo. My friends got angry with me when I first got here because I always wore my hair up and to them that was like the ultimate sin, hiding my long, pretty hair. I'm doing all of these techniques and good hair practices just to be able to wear my hair in complicated buns lol.

 

[msa]

Definitely long hair mentality. I've never had the desire to cut my hair into the latest style or even get my long hair styled into the cutest updo. My friends got angry with me when I first got here because I always wore my hair up and to them that was like the ultimate sin, hiding my long, pretty hair. I'm doing all of these techniques and good hair practices just to be able to wear my hair in complicated buns lol.

About the bold, you and me are on the same page. My main goal for growing longer hair is to be able to wear a non-puny bun. I want a big afro...and a big huge bun sitting on my head. That's all I want.

I'm sure I'll be one of the MOST boring long-haired people ever.

 

[Kneechay]

really good post, i agree with a lot of the things in that post. I feel like as time passes on LHCF, more and more women develop the long hair mentality. It becomes a lifestyle; I also think it comes with age.

I notice a lot of women's hair care practices deteriorate in college. Knew of several girls who came in with nice hair only to graduate with short, damaged hair. I realized the diversity (with hair/fashion/etc) that a lot of women come to experience in college lead them to get bored quicker, make drastic changes, let their friends do that temporary, cute (yet damaging) glue-in weave (because it was cheap/free). I dont know.

I had the short hair mentality in college.

i also notice a lot of hairstylists at salons have short-hair mentality, transferring that onto the heads of their clients.

The mentality has even affected my diet, and oddly upped my innovative side.

PM me the board name if you dont mind

 

[Ramya]

Short hair mentality. Fortunately for me, I've never had issues growing long healthy aesthetically pleasing hair with my short hair mentality.

ETA: I have no desire to be bound by my hair which is why I am natural. I don't make decisions based on my hair nor do I spend hours in the kitchen mixing and remixing hair potions. it's just not that serious to me. On the otherhand I'm not into fads or trends. i've never had a trendy haircut in my life so that's not me either. I think most buns are ugly and do nothing for me facially therefore I avoid them. i'm all about putting the best "YOU" forward, whatever that means.

 

[MyAngelEyez~C~U]

Of course there is...like the post said, there are many shades between the two.

And it depends on how you define it as well. So what's your definition?

Hmmm...I think part of it, for me, is desiring my natural hair...wanted to get away from chemical processes and damage....but still learning how to treat my hair in the meantime. It seems like I get lil lightbulbs going off everyday, telling me to just stop doing certain things or to start doing certain things...and to just let my hair "be". It's letting go of that bone-straight mentality...that's how I define it for me. And that can be the hardest part of it all, that letting go...but I'm gonna do it for myself and for my daughters (who never got a chance to know their natural hair, because their poor momma didn't have a clue).

 

[locabouthair]

Well I have short hair but I think I have a long hair mentality.

I dont do much to my hair. I just wash once a week and moisturize daily. I dont use direct heat very often. I only comb on wash days because I'm wearing a wig. And I dont trust stylists. Going to stylists is the reason I'm wearing the wig in the first place Havent been to the salon in 5 months.

When my hair grows out I do wanna try different styles though and I want to add a color (only rinses though nothing permanent). So maybe I'm in between?

 

[MAMATO]

So true... all the way ... thanks for sharing

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

i guess i would be in the middle. i'm not interested in cutting and coloring my hair to fit with any trends, but also i'm not interested in the extra measures most take to get long hair, like no heat, all natural products, and 365 protective styles. i do like to use heat on my hair every week or two, and i wear it down. i'm not really good at styling, so manipulation is not that much of a problem for me. i guess i have a relaxed approach to hair growing since my only hair goal is APL, which i always had before the bc. so i can just enjoy my hair as it is even if it never passes apl.​

 

[Soliel185]

I always thought of it as "classic styles" vs "trendy styles". I have always preferred classic "boring" styles on myself. I'm a fan of the swoop bang, a sharp side part and hair that looks beautiful b/c the hair itself is the centerpiece of the look...

I think this falls into what the post you cc'd is saying.

Some people might think that my fro is very trendy and revolutionary (in that it's different) and while I agree to some extent, it's also the most low maintenance "let it be" approach I can take to my hairtype.

 

[MonPetite]

I've always had a full head of hair and having BCed this year and back on the path to regaining it. "Big hair" is a part of me.

Because of this, hair is not spiritual for me. It became a battle to deal with others mindsets about hair that isn't on their own head (which they had far too many unsolicited opinion's about). Going through it...I gained no "enlightenment". Just slightly thicker skin.

I don't have a "long hair mentality" (I'M NOT KNOCKING IT EITHER! To each their own!). Lots of hair has always been a part of me. If my hair was not voluminous (when grown out) and so forth, I'd accept whatever that was. If I looked best with a TWA...I'd keep one. If I was born with locs (as in my hair magically grew out of massive follicles as locks ), I'd rock them stupid. If my hair was poker straight...I'd never curl it.

I simply want to be me. Completely.

Turns out, "lotsa (natural) hair" is a part of that.

Just this week I learned my final lesson in my hair color. I always thought if I was a true brunette like my mother (not naturally blue/black haired) I would seem warm, delicate and soft.

Raven hair is simply what I was meant to have. Not brunette. Not "dark brown". Nope.

It's:
ALL ENCOMPASSING BLACK HOLE BLACK , SUCK THE LIGHT OUT OF A ROOM BLACK , NO MATTER HOW BRIGHT THE LIGHT I REALLY DO NOT HAVE ANY HIGHLIGHTS WHATSOEVER BLACK erplexed, MAKES BIGEN LOOK LIKE OFF GREY BLACK, A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY BLACK , GOOD GOOGLY-MOOGLY BLACK, CAN COOK AN EGG ON IT IF I STAND OUT IN THE SUN BLACK, MY SCALP HAS NEVER FELT A UV RAY...EVER BLACK.

And so it shall stay.

Just returning to me, is what "growing it out" is about now.

No matter what society, my family or my associates think.

 

[robot.]

I would say I'm somewhere in between. I love playing in my TWA, and I do "style" it very lightly. I am definitely in it for the long term, and can't wait to have long hair, but I know once I get there, I'll want to play around with color, cuts, and different styles. But along with that, I know I'll also need to protective style a lot more and step up on my DC'ing and actual care.

I'll just say I have an adventurous longhair mentality.

 

[locabouthair]

really good post, i agree with a lot of the things in that post. I feel like as time passes on LHCF, more and more women develop the long hair mentality. It becomes a lifestyle; I also think it comes with age.

I notice a lot of women's hair care practices deteriorate in college. Knew of several girls who came in with nice hair only to graduate with short, damaged hair. I realized the diversity (with hair/fashion/etc) that a lot of women come to experience in college lead them to get bored quicker, make drastic changes, let their friends do that temporary, cute (yet damaging) glue-in weave (because it was cheap/free). I dont know.

I had the short hair mentality in college.

i also notice a lot of hairstylists at salons have short-hair mentality, transferring that onto the heads of their clients.


PM me the board name if you dont mind

I definitely agree on the bolded.

When I was in college I saw the most beautiful heads of hair. Lots of girls were APL and beyond and it made me look on the internet and find LHCF. I was like what are all these chics doing? Lemme find out