Do you have a back up plan??

[freckledface]

I'm curious as to how many of you ladies have a nest egg just in case you're happily ever after doesn't end so happily.

A little back ground on my relationship (this is my first post on this part of the forum.) I've been with my SO a year now and I must admit I loovvveee him! This is the best relationshi p I've been in. Since we met it was like we knew we were gonna be together.Were making plan for our future together and really got eachothers back on getting there. BUUUTTT not marriage.... I'm not ready right now and neither is he. But I refuse to be his gf for 6 years but that's a whole other thread lol.

Were buying all new furniture for our place. Well I'm buying it.He can pay the bills for a few months and ill buy the furniture. Were getting a dog. I'll pay for the shots. I've even got a new savings account he doesn't know about. It's not much but its enough for a security deposit and first months rent.

I've had my share of frogs and have been left drained with nothing to show for my love and effort but tears. Not this time. I feel like at least I can leave in a better place than I started.



What yall think? Oh and if you think I'm being evil and paranoid that's welcome too.


Eta: all that's to say if I leave I'm leaving with EVERYTHING

 

[ThickHair]

I would say if you are not marrying, keep everything seperate and make sure that you can live without his money.

I am not one for living together before marriage (nor acting like a marriage couple), but you have to do what you want to do.

ETA: Do you watch Judge Judy? If not, peep a couple of episodes about couples who have lived together, who no longer live together. Not pretty when it comes down to dividing up items and Judge Judy shows no mercy. OP I am the eternal romantic and I wish you well, but please be smart. It does sound like you have a wonderful relationship though.

 

[tiffy]

.......................................

 

[freckledface]

ThickHair no I don't watch that but I guess I need to check it out. I guess I'm thinking receipts and what not are my friend lol.

 

[londontresses]

I agree with the Judge Judy thing.

I have nothing against living together before marraige but I'd just say be careful. Does he earn a similar amount to you? Do you tend to go halves on a lot of things?

If you want to do things differently this time it may take more than just ensuring you have the deposit to move elsewhere. Maybe look at how you view money and rsponsibilities whilst you are in the relationship and change your expectations of men financially so that you dont get burnt.

Your relationship sounds sweet though

ETA: TATQ- Yes I do. We arent living together at the moment, but I do have my own property which I will keep and rent out regardless. I'd like to know I have something of my own to avoid having to start completely from scratch if I had to. Once I am in the position to I will also save money on the side.

 

[swirl]

i am a firm believer in having a Plan B ...and you should be able to put it into action at any time. not just in relationships either...what is your plan b if you wake up and your car doesn't start? what is your plan b if you get downsized from your job? im not suggesting that you have a back up MAN lol, only that you have a financial plan in the event that the relationship doesn't work out for some reason.

 

[freckledface]

swirl exactly what I'm saying. If we were not to work out where would I go what would I have sort of thing. Even though the lease is in our name I prob wouldn't wanna keep it honestly. What other kind of insurance do you recommend? This is my first time living with a man.

londontresses when it comes to bills for us (ulities and rent) we typlically go halves but we do have our separate bills that we came into the relationship with. What do you recommend?

 

[freckledface]

londontresses that sound great being able to still have your own home to rent out. We are only just starting out in life. Home ownership is not in the cards for me for a few years.

 

[A856]

OP your relationship sounds like mines, however we don't live together. I do have a plan B

 

[pearcey]

No.

Don't you just bounce?

If you want to split/bail out, NOTHING should keep you from getting the **** out of there...

Especially NOT money.

When it is time, it IS time, nothing can get in the way of truly knowing it's time to bounce.

If you have to worry about material possessions, and if my diamonds will be okay or if I have to wait until the mate goes to work to run out... is it really that serious?

that is not impulse, that is a plan to get out.

 

[londontresses]

swirl exactly what I'm saying. If we were not to work out where would I go what would I have sort of thing. Even though the lease is in our name I prob wouldn't wanna keep it honestly. What other kind of insurance do you recommend? This is my first time living with a man.

londontresses when it comes to bills for us (ulities and rent) we typlically go halves but we do have our separate bills that we came into the relationship with. What do you recommend?

No real recommendations tbh because I'm not married or living with SO. But I would say if in the past you've been burned financially (if that's what you meant)
Look at how those situations developed and try doing things differently rather than focusing on what you might do if things don't work out ie your exit strategy. You didnt explain fully what happened previously (there's no real need to) so not sure if that applies, just something to consider.

 

[freckledface]

No.

Don't you just bounce?

If you want to split/bail out, NOTHING should keep you from getting the **** out of there...

Especially NOT money.

When it is time, it IS time, nothing can get in the way of truly knowing it's time to bounce.

If you have to worry about material possessions, and if my diamonds will be okay or if I have to wait until the mate goes to work to run out... is it really that serious?

that is not impulse, that is a plan to get out.

Lol @ waiting until he goes to work
You're right NOTHING should keep someone form leaving a bad relationship especially not money. I do think though that IF things did go south I would like to be able to move into my own place asap with everything I may need/want to be comfortable instead of having to run home to mama.


Maybe the women I know IRL are the exception but most have a rainy day plan and have advised me of getting my own.

 

[greenandchic]

Always.

I never rely (100%) on one person to keep me secure and safe. He might, but I always have a back up plan just in case - my own nest egg. We're not even married but I'm beneficiary on his life insurance policy.

Hope for best, plan for worst.