Do You Feel That Your Natural Hair Is A Lot Of Work?

[waff]

This is an ad but I have seen too many little girls under the age of 10 with a head full of long curly crochet hair.

smh most of my insecurities regarding my hair started from my mom putting relaxers in my hair and forcing me as a kid to be something that I am not. This takes it to a whole other level and it's so sad. Can kids be kids please? No kid should be worrying about about wearing fake hair, this cannot be healthy for their self worth.

 

[blazingbeauty]

I hate to move in to Jazzy Aunt adjacent topics but I find it interesting that there used to be a line between styles that looked "too grown" for little girls and too juvenile for grown women and that line seems to be blurring. I don't know how I feel about that.

This is a comment that I think a lot of people including myself struggle with (feeling like certain styles look to young) I do think it’s a problem unique to us. It would be one thing if people were walking around with hair balls at the ends of their twists ( or those plastic butterfly clips they have at the beauty supply), but people say they feel too young in WnG puffs and styles like that. I don’t get it. Are silk presses the only styles that are mature/age appropriate? I mean, I think I look good in a crown bun.

 

[discodumpling]

When I 1st became natural

How often do you go to work witcha head lookin like that tho?

I wore my plaits/twists and styled them in the early years. I ain't never scared. I wear chiney bumps aka bantu knots when I feel like it. You see...#AntiguaMeComeFram it's hard to make us feel shame!

 

[Cattypus1]

I struggled with my decision to loc because I was afraid I would commit and then hate it when it was all said and done. It’s not all said and done and I am at the beginning of this process but I am 9 months today and I haven’t seen a loctician since my comb-coil install. I’m self-maintaining and it is easier. My hair wanted to loc so I’m letting it and loving it.

 

[Cattypus1]

smh most of my insecurities regarding my hair started from my mom putting relaxers in my hair and forcing me as a kid to be something that I am not. This takes it to a whole other level and it's so sad. Can kids be kids please? No kid should be worrying about about wearing fake hair, this cannot be healthy for their self worth.

This right here...this is the kind of thing that caused major shame and embarrassment for me as a child.

 

[B_Phlyy]

Yes it is now and I'm over it.

I've been natural for however long it says in my sig and I have loved my natural hair itself in all that time. But keeping up with my natural hair has been a pain in my since it's been able to stretch past 1 inch. There is no such thing as a wash n go for my hair, just wash n tangles before tears. Regardless of what I'm doing to my hair, there has to be extensive prep beforehand and that gets exhausting. Even when I'm going to do a protective style like I'm in now, I have to wash in sections and detangle with half a bottle of conditioner and oil. And my shrinkage is crazy once I'm out of the water. I need to start working right away to make sure I don't get any matting.

Though I am indeed okay with going out with plaits and pigtails if need be, people definitely take some years off of you when you have your natural in those styles. But not in the good way; people will indeed talk to and behave toward you as if you are a lost juvenile in need of guidance.

I'll never go back to relaxers, mostly because I can't (scarring alopecia) but also because my natural hair is awesome. But I've decided I'd rather someone else help with upkeep and I'm going to find a stylist I can go to on a random Wednesday when I know I'm going to want my weekend.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

This may not be helpful, and I'm not an expert, but I really don't think anyone should wash the full length of their hair multiple times while in a protective style. That's not something I'd expect to be able to do. I'll admit, I've only discovered the issue from trying to wash marley and mini twists while keeping them in for more than 3 weeks. My hair was matted and I tore out some of my mini twists, because they were locking. I think if your hair is like mine, short term protective styles that take less time to install, make more sense. Take them down to wash your hair.
I've made posts about my hair webbing, tangling and not being easy to part, but I think that washing once a week, so I can fully detangle and remove shed hair, using a comb instead of finger detangling, and only styling while wet seems to be helping me.
Also, I probably have SSKs on the ends of 80% percent of my hair. I know they're bad, but I don't think it's a huge deal.
Maybe you already tried everything, but I just thought I'd put my two cents in, since I have similar issues.

Thanks!

The only time I wash my hair more than once a week is if I'm wearing a puff or my hair is otherwise loose. If it's twisted I can wash my full head once the first week, any subsequent washes I have to take half my hair down to detangle and redo after washing. The next week I alternate taking down the other side and redoing. Otherwise wash day is literally all day and that is too much. This is all just my own hair.

BTW - I can't detangle or style my hair if it's not wet. The only thing I can do to my hair while it's dry is look at it.

The issue I have with SSK's is that they lead to tangling from my ends loving up on each other which leads to breakage. Right now my longest layer is mbl stretched but I'm guessing if my hair was straightened it would have to be cut to apl or shorter because my hair can have multiple knots up a strand.

 

[oneastrocurlie]

I'm gonna say I was "wash and gos don't work for me" girl until about a year ago. I'm 4abcdef with shrinkage. I now think anyone can do wng but it's super helpful if you can find a stylist that can get you there.

I was proven wrong.

 

[oneastrocurlie]

I hate to move in to Jazzy Aunt adjacent topics but I find it interesting that there used to be a line between styles that looked "too grown" for little girls and too juvenile for grown women and that line seems to be blurring. I don't know how I feel about that.


This woman doesn't look bad. That said, there is a rolled out of bed quality from the neck up tho.

Get out. Lol.

 

[oneastrocurlie]

This is a comment that I think a lot of people including myself struggle with (feeling like certain styles look to young) I do think it’s a problem unique to us. It would be one thing if people were walking around with hair balls at the ends of their twists ( or those plastic butterfly clips they have at the beauty supply), but people say they feel too young in WnG puffs and styles like that. I don’t get it. Are silk presses the only styles that are mature/age appropriate? I mean, I think I look good in a crown bun.

I think hair styling is a lot like clothing styling. The same type of outfit can look different on different people.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

This is an ad but I have seen too many little girls under the age of 10 with a head full of long curly crochet hair.

See I hate this. It's entirely too grown. I know that it's an ad but I've seen some little girls with a thousand percent too much fake hair and it's appalling. Too grown does not necessarily mean "fast". The flip side of this is giving these babies the kind of hairstyle that make them look like after they get out of school they gotta go work 3rd shift at a call center. I'm intentionally, using both a natural and relaxed style.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Let's talk about what a wash and go looks like for me.

Walking out the door 8 AM


1/2 dry shrinkage around 11 AM

By 2 PM ISSA Wrap.

 

[oneastrocurlie]

Let's talk about what a wash and go looks like for me.

Walking out the door 8 AM


1/2 dry shrinkage around 11 AM

By 2 PM ISSA Wrap.

Lol. How are you doing it though? What are you using?

 

[B_Phlyy]

Let's talk about what a wash and go looks like for me.

Walking out the door 8 AM


1/2 dry shrinkage around 11 AM

By 2 PM ISSA Wrap.

See, 8 AM - 2 PM is 6 whole hours. If I wash my hair at 8:00 AM , I only get until 10:57 AM until 100% shrinkage and guaranteed matting. If I use gel in the shower, I can stretch that out until 12:26 PM.

And I didn't grab those times out of thin air. I called myself doing a week of wash n' gos and only lasted 3 days because ... nope. I was mad as h$%#.

 

[BeautifulRoots]

but they are not

This is not cute on anyone over the age of 8.

Welp, I definitely wear these when my braidout is still wet the next day. I put it right up in a bun or french twist with no shame. I didn't do all that work braiding it just for it to frizz, lol.

 

[water_n_oil]

Welp, I definitely wear these when my braidout is still wet the next day. I put it right up in a bun or french twist with no shame. I didn't do all that work braiding it just for it to frizz, lol.

Amen to that.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Lol. How are you doing it though? What are you using?

I do my own bootleg version of the LOC method
The closest I ever get to a wash and go is a puff. Certain areas of my hair shrink more than others so a loose wash and go looks crazy af on me when it dries.

See, 8 AM - 2 PM is 6 whole hours. If I wash my hair at 8:00 AM , I only get until 10:57 AM until 100% shrinkage and guaranteed matting. If I use gel in the shower, I can stretch that out until 12:26 PM.

And I didn't grab those times out of thin air. I called myself doing a week of wash n' gos and only lasted 3 days because ... nope. I was mad as h$%#.

Yeah, I gotta be extra heavy handed with the gel to get alladem 6 hours.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Welp, I definitely wear these when my braidout is still wet the next day. I put it right up in a bun or french twist with no shame. I didn't do all that work braiding it just for it to frizz, lol.

If you put it up in a bun or French twist that's not the style in the picture. French twists and buns are not styles that people associate with 8 year olds.

 

[oneastrocurlie]

I do my own bootleg version of the LOC method
The closest I ever get to a wash and go is a puff. Certain areas of my hair shrink more than others so a loose wash and go looks crazy af on me when it dries.

I abandoned LOC, LCO, OOLCOBABCD or whatever a loooong time go. Oil went out the window more recently. My main liquid is water. My hair soaked with a custardy-like styler and maybe a mousse is my wng sweet spot.

 

[blazingbeauty]

See, 8 AM - 2 PM is 6 whole hours. If I wash my hair at 8:00 AM , I only get until 10:57 AM until 100% shrinkage and guaranteed matting. If I use gel in the shower, I can stretch that out until 12:26 PM.

And I didn't grab those times out of thin air. I called myself doing a week of wash n' gos and only lasted 3 days because ... nope. I was mad as h$%#.

Have you tried diffusing/blowdrying to stretch and dry you WnG?

 

[water_n_oil]

I abandoned LOC, LCO, OOLCOBABCD or whatever a loooong time go. Oil went out the window more recently. My main liquid is water. My hair soaked with a custardy-like styler and maybe a mousse is my wng sweet spot.

Seconding. LOC, LCO, DVD, VCR, etc etc is a heck naw for my wngs. My first wng was a wash and "chile what do you think you're doing".

 

[oneastrocurlie]

Seconding. LOC, LCO, DVD, VCR, etc etc is a heck naw for my wngs. My first wng was a wash and "chile what do you think you're doing".

VCR

 

[nyeredzi]

Thanks!

The only time I wash my hair more than once a week is if I'm wearing a puff or my hair is otherwise loose. If it's twisted I can wash my full head once the first week, any subsequent washes I have to take half my hair down to detangle and redo after washing. The next week I alternate taking down the other side and redoing. Otherwise wash day is literally all day and that is too much. This is all just my own hair.

BTW - I can't detangle or style my hair if it's not wet. The only thing I can do to my hair while it's dry is look at it.

The issue I have with SSK's is that they lead to tangling from my ends loving up on each other which leads to breakage. Right now my longest layer is mbl stretched but I'm guessing if my hair was straightened it would have to be cut to apl or shorter because my hair can have multiple knots up a strand.

Exactly like my hair. Don't worry, there are 50-11 people to tell you to try 70-12 different things, in addition to 2,222 things you have already tried. And those new things are totally going to change your hair. You're going to be doing wash and gos with no tangles, you'll be combing your hair with minimal effort in the shower. The problem, you see, is that it's just not moisturized enough. It just needs more moisture, Maximum Moisture! Super Maximum Liquidy Moisture Method! Surely that's one of them, right? Once your hair is fully hydrated/moisturized, it will fall into its natural clump pattern. As long as you're not asking your edges to be laid all the time, you shouldn't have a problem, you know ...

 

[SAPNK]

Exactly like my hair. Don't worry, there are 50-11 people to tell you to try 70-12 different things, in addition to 2,222 things you have already tried. And those new things are totally going to change your hair. You're going to be doing wash and gos with no tangles, you'll be combing your hair with minimal effort in the shower. The problem, you see, is that it's just not moisturized enough. It just needs more moisture, Maximum Moisture! Super Maximum Liquidy Moisture Method! Surely that's one of them, right? Once your hair is fully hydrated/moisturized, it will fall into its natural clump pattern. As long as you're not asking your edges to be laid all the time, you shouldn't have a problem, you know ...

I wasn't trying to be inconsiderate when I responded to her post.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

I definitely thought I couldn't wash and go, but I've been WNG exclusively for a year now. You just have to find what works for your hair.

The celie braid thing - to me it depends on how neat they are and where you're going. Formal function? No. For work or church I have worn them in a bun. For a run to the grocery store? As long as they're not old and frizzy I don't see why anyone should be embarrassed to be seen in public. There's no reason why you should have to put a wig on just to go run errands.

I do realize that we have been conditioned though. I also recognize that I have some "privilege" because my hair is very long, so my celies don't get the same kind of attention as most people. But I do wish more of us felt comfortable wearing casual natural styles and not feeling like we always have to have these glammed up styles with heavy makeup to make our natural hair acceptable.

 

[qchelle]

No. The only thing that takes a "long" time is dcing. Because I get out the shower and back in some time later to rinse. But I would do this even if it were relaxed. Applying dc takes me a few mins.

Washing and 'detangling' (in shower) take 10mins maybe. It's in quotes because my hair really doesn't tangle anymore due to how I wear it. After my wash/moisture routine, I put it in a neat, low ponytail. No gel, just leave in and oil. So when it dries, it's nice and fluffy. And stretched out. Like a blow out. I love it, cuz it's big and fluffy that way. And doesn't shrink so much. At the end of the day, there's still majority movement and fluff. And I have no qualms about wearing my neat ponytail out, before it dries (cuz...its a neat ponytail).

Putting it into a ponytail takes 5secs. Taking it out and fluffing with my fingers takes 3secs. And I just put it back in the pony at night. I spray with leave in and oil a few times a week to moisturize.

Sometimes I'll do a wash n go. But the gel process takes time. And I rather my hair not have so much gel in it. Plus takes long to dry and major shrinkage. I prefer big fluff.

I stopped doing all "-outs" years ago. Way too much work.

 

[BeautifulRoots]

If you put it up in a bun or French twist that's not the style in the picture. French twists and buns are not styles that people associate with 8 year olds.

Fair enough. So it's not juvenile if the style has the same parts as the first picture as long as it's in a bun or french twist? I'm interested in your thoughts on the matter because I always felt juvenile, but I roll with it because I want a nice braidout, lol.

 

[nyeredzi]

I wasn't trying to be inconsiderate when I responded to her post.

No worries, I wasn't thinking of you in particular and not even sure which post was yours. It's a common, general belief I'm being a smart mouth about. It's just always astounding to me how confident someone (not necessarily you in particular) can be about somebody else's hair. I now just read posts like "how would you know what this other person's hair can do?"

 

[oneastrocurlie]

No worries, I wasn't thinking of you in particular and not even sure which post was yours. It's a common, general belief I'm being a smart mouth about. It's just always astounding to me how confident someone (not necessarily you in particular) can be about somebody else's hair. I now just read posts like "how would you know what this other person's hair can do?"

Well this is a hair board and people come here looking for hair advice. Not in this particular thread really but unless we've meet each other in person we don't have a clue what another persons hair can do. People try to help based on how a person describes what's going on. Add that on top of a lot of people don't know what their own hair can do. I was one of them.

And I know you were jesting in your other post but there's a nugget of truth in there.

 

[GettingKinky]

I do my own bootleg version of the LOC method
The closest I ever get to a wash and go is a puff. Certain areas of my hair shrink more than others so a loose wash and go looks crazy af on me when it dries.
.

I had this issue as well. A curly cut fixed that. Now my hair shrinks into a nice shape.