Do You Feel That Your Natural Hair Is A Lot Of Work?

[GGsKin]

No worries, I wasn't thinking of you in particular and not even sure which post was yours. It's a common, general belief I'm being a smart mouth about. It's just always astounding to me how confident someone (not necessarily you in particular) can be about somebody else's hair. I now just read posts like "how would you know what this other person's hair can do?"

I'm a not a qualified hairstylist but I've spent many years with my hands in other people's hair, as well as my own. I would never claim to know someone else's hair better than them. I can say that there have been many times where the time and method that I have used to wash someone's hair, has yielded results that they tell me they have not seen on their own hair before, or they do not achieve for themselves.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Exactly like my hair. Don't worry, there are 50-11 people to tell you to try 70-12 different things, in addition to 2,222 things you have already tried. And those new things are totally going to change your hair. You're going to be doing wash and gos with no tangles, you'll be combing your hair with minimal effort in the shower. The problem, you see, is that it's just not moisturized enough. It just needs more moisture, Maximum Moisture! Super Maximum Liquidy Moisture Method! Surely that's one of them, right? Once your hair is fully hydrated/moisturized, it will fall into its natural clump pattern. As long as you're not asking your edges to be laid all the time, you shouldn't have a problem, you know ...

You want to know something funny? I got into it with a chick in Chrissie's Divine Dark Skin Group who was telling me about how easy natural hair was and she posted a picture of your hair and told me that if I drank enough water and used only natural organic products that I could have long SSK free hair that could be worn loose like in the photo.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I wasn't trying to be inconsiderate when I responded to her post.

I don’t believe she was being snarky about your post. She’s a nice lady.

 

[Bette Davis Eyes]

Once I learned what moisturized hair is on my head , the skies the limit.

I know MY hair very well.

When my hair is uber moisturized, my curls are S curls , which are in the 3 ranges, when my hair isnt as moisturized, my curls are slinky curls, which are in the 4 range. The section above my ears clump but doesn't curl together, that's my 4 B section.

Once I realized that moisturizing and conditioning are key, I can do the damn thing.

My hair will always have SSKs and always coil around itself. The key is to water it and DONT leave it for 5-6 days.

It's cool when folks say oh, I only moisturize once a week. That isn't my hair life. In a perfect world where I am rich and have all the time in the world, I would wet my hair every day and be happy.

Clay, Henna and Ayurvedic are my boo thangs. Steam makes all the difference for me but no matter what, Frizz(when wearing a washngo) is what it is and its never perfect.

I still love it.

ETA, I was typing way fast earlier.

 

[biznesswmn]

^^^ yes! For me, moisturized equals manageable. I been using a homemade spritz for the past couple of years that has kept my hair from drying out. I spray and bun daily.
It took about two months before I noticed that my hair would hold the moisture for days. I don’t even have to DC anymore. It has also grown a lot
I’ve posted this in other threads so in case you haven’t already seen it, here it is. This is the video I stole the mix recipe from. Starts at the one minute mark, for 30 sec

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Fair enough. So it's not juvenile if the style has the same parts as the first picture as long as it's in a bun or french twist? I'm interested in your thoughts on the matter because I always felt juvenile, but I roll with it because I want a bomb braidout, lol.

Updos and buns tend to mature things up. I think that's across textures. That's the reason why I think if you look at a lot of wedding photos, across race you see women who would never do more than put their hair in a ponytail have these elaborate French twists and assorted other updo styles.

Something that gets lost in these conversations is that "we" are not the only ones who have been conditioned.

 

[nerdography]

My hair is a lot of work, which is why I’ve decided to start wearing wigs.

Wash days are pretty easy, about an hour. It’s the maintenance that’s the issue. My hair likes being left alone in plaits, it stays stretched, tangled free, and moisturized. But, I work in Corporate America and my hair like that would not be acceptable So, I usually wear and bun, but that means I have to manipulate it everyday to moisturize.

I found a cute everyday wig that will make me look nice and keep my hair protected.

 

[nyeredzi]

You want to know something funny? I got into it with a chick in Chrissie's Divine Dark Skin Group who was telling me about how easy natural hair was and she posted a picture of your hair and told me that if I drank enough water and used only natural organic products that I could have long SSK free hair that could be worn loose like in the photo.

That is hilarious! SSK-free, huh? That hair was the result of hours of manual labor, much more so than drinking water. This is exactly what I mean. I'm now at the point in my life where I'm no longer that certain about anything

 

[nyeredzi]

Well this is a hair board and people come here looking for hair advice. Not in this particular thread really but unless we've meet each other in person we don't have a clue what another persons hair can do. People try to help based on how a person describes what's going on. Add that on top of a lot of people don't know what their own hair can do. I was one of them.

And I know you were jesting in your other post but there's a nugget of truth in there.

Yeah, it was a serious point wrapped in a joke It's not the trying to help that is really the issue, I think, which is kind, generous, and can be helpful. I occasionally try to help, too! I do know it's a hair board, and we can only interpret from what we see and what the person tells us. And I've learned a lot from my decade+ on hair boards.

Rather, it's the insistence that you (general you, not specific you) can know that person's hair better than they can, without ever interacting with it, and insisting that if they don't get outcomes like you get, they're doing something wrong, they don't know how to take care of their hair, they're having a hard time essentially because they're overly vain and want every hair in place, etc. Really, it feels dismissive and condescending to me.

 

[LivingInPeace]

I love my natural hair.

 

[Alma Petra]

I am glad that I am not the only one who is complaining about deep conditioning. I think it takes up double the time it takes for me to style my hair despite all the finger combing and separating I have to do while styling, plus it makes me jump in and out of the shower multiple times. Has any one tried deep conditioning on dry hair or maybe simply sprayed hair? Does it work at all?

 

[oneastrocurlie]

You want to know something funny? I got into it with a chick in Chrissie's Divine Dark Skin Group who was telling me about how easy natural hair was and she posted a picture of your hair and told me that if I drank enough water and used only natural organic products that I could have long SSK free hair that could be worn loose like in the photo.

I've been told the best cure for SSK is scissors lol.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I've been told the best cure for SSK is scissors lol.

Scissors are the only cure.

 

[NaturalEnigma]

I am glad that I am not the only one who is complaining about deep conditioning. I think it takes up double the time it takes for me to style my hair despite all the finger combing and separating I have to do while styling, plus it makes me jump in and out of the shower multiple times. Has any one tried deep conditioning on dry hair or maybe simply sprayed hair? Does it work at all?

To remedy jumping in and out the shower I either put my head under the bathtub faucet, or just stick my head out under the stream of the shower head. I just make sure I don't have a shirt on because my neck and shoulders will get wet. I also deep condition on dry hair sometimes, which my hair seems to like.

 

[Britt]

I thought about this thread over the weekend.

I still feel the same way. I tried to be as PC as possible because I've been on this board long enough to know what it is. I still feel it's a lot of work for some of us -- and that's depending on certain factors - not all hair is a one size fits all. I don't see what's wrong in saying that? Everyone has different hair. When I was natural before I had absolutely zero issue detangling and laying my hair, thus my wash routine would be shorter and my hair was more moisturized. However, I still styled it daily/frequently. Now, my hair is different and it takes more time for me to detangle and my hair is not as moisturized as it was before. I don't have the time to lounge under my steamer unbothered for how long I want and get up and take time to twist my hair so perfectly. It's more of a rushed job now.

The celie plaits posted up thread.. not a good look for me to go to work. Cool for the supermarket and errands sure, but do I really want to go somewhere with my hair like that? No. At the same time, as a natural I can understand why she left the house in her plaits. Maybe they weren't fully dried, maybe she plans on getting more mileage outta her braid out.

I've had quite a few women tell me they love my natural hair and admit they just don't have it in them to do hair nightly. They'll tell me they want to go natural but in reality they love the appearance of it, not the work involved. Also, it would be work for them because they aren't even hair people to begin with so the hair journey would be that much more challenging for them. Trying to find the right products, spending money on it, figuring out their hair -- that's all work. They don't want to sit on a hair board for hours, that's why they ask me . Only 'hair people' will feel it's not work lol.

I personally lean more towards the beauty of natural hair. However I don't overlook the work that's involved for many and for some, a lot more work than others. But it's absolutely beautiful when nicely styled. From braid outs, twist outs, rod sets/flexi rods, buns... It's gorgeous, makes me smile. But it can take some time to achieve this look daily.

 

[water_n_oil]

I am glad that I am not the only one who is complaining about deep conditioning. I think it takes up double the time it takes for me to style my hair despite all the finger combing and separating I have to do while styling, plus it makes me jump in and out of the shower multiple times. Has any one tried deep conditioning on dry hair or maybe simply sprayed hair? Does it work at all?

I used to do it on dry hair or sprayed all the time. Now I just dc if necessary. I'm not about that hopping in and out of the shower life either.

 

[waff]

I am glad that I am not the only one who is complaining about deep conditioning. I think it takes up double the time it takes for me to style my hair despite all the finger combing and separating I have to do while styling, plus it makes me jump in and out of the shower multiple times. Has any one tried deep conditioning on dry hair or maybe simply sprayed hair? Does it work at all?

In my old place we had a shower handler like this one:

I was able to quickly rinse without getting in the shower. But in this summer heat I don't mind getting in the shower many times at all, its so refreshing in this weather, the winter time is another story lol. I would assume it's something I can install to my current shower as well.

ETA: It's useful for washing puppies, and it made rinsing the bathtub much easier as well. I might end up installing it actually.

 

[Alma Petra]

I used to do it on dry hair or sprayed all the time. Now I just dc if necessary. I'm not about that hopping in and out of the shower life either.

Did it work well for you? Did you use heat when you'd DC on sprayed hair?

 

[Alma Petra]

Top 2 combos:
UFD Curly Magic and DE Curl defining mousse
KCNT and the curling custard from the same line

I mix a little bit Briogeo Coil Custard and water in my hand scrunch through as a refresher if needed.

99% of the time I sleep in a satin pillowcase at night. The last couple wash days I've been doing mini pineapples after day one to keep my hair from shrinking so much. Then any night after that I just sleep on my pillowcase and refluff and refresh in the morning.

I have satin sheets and pillow cases and have just bought a satin-lined hat so I'll see how that goes.

I think I have all the products that you've mentioned though I usually combine KCKT with UFD Curly Magic. I should try the Curly Magic under the DE Mousse.

 

[water_n_oil]

Did it work well for you? Did you use heat when you'd DC on sprayed hair?

Worked well. I rarely use heat to dc. I don't like having to sit there.

 

[leona2025]

I'll read all the responses in here later, but my hair for the most part is easy to manage. I say easy relative to my relaxed hair lol.
I don't like to be in my head everyday, so being natural allows me to be able to do my hair once a week and leave it alone.
I wash and condition my hair in the shower and that process takes me just the amount of time it takes me to do my shower routine. Most of time is spent detangling.
I style my hair in a wash n go or puff.
It takes my wash n go about 3 days to dry fully. I only airdry cause Im lazy. The first few days I sleep on my side or stomach so the back of my hair doesnt flatten. After that its a free for all.
I do suffer with some ssks and the hair my nape will tangle quickly.

 

[blazingbeauty]

I
I've had quite a few women tell me they love my natural hair and admit they just don't have it in them to do hair nightly. They'll tell me they want to go natural but in reality they love the appearance of it, not the work involved. Also, it would be work for them because they aren't even hair people to begin with so the hair journey would be that much more challenging for them. Trying to find the right products, spending money on it, figuring out their hair -- that's all work. They don't want to sit on a hair board for hours, that's why they ask me . Only 'hair people' will feel it's not work lol.

I personally lean more towards the beauty of natural hair. However I don't overlook the work that's involved for many and for some, a lot more work than others. But it's absolutely beautiful when nicely styled. From braid outs, twist outs, rod sets/flexi rods, buns... It's gorgeous, makes me smile. But it can take some time to achieve this look daily.

This is so true. If you don’t enjoy caring for your hair, it will feel like work. For me, I could never have a twenty step skincare routine. I want to do the bare minimum while still maintaining healthy skin and go (I should change that). You could say the same for my hair, but I’m willing to do a bit more since I like taking care of it.

One of my close friends went back to relaxers and I completely understood why. She had a very fast paced job that’s energy-consuming. At the same time, she big chopped because her hair became over processed and broke off (I’m still angry at her stylist). Now she wears weaves and her hair is thankfully getting back to what it used to be. All that to say, healthy hair requires care and if you outsource the care, find a trustworthy stylist.

 

[Britt]

This is so true. If you don’t enjoy caring for your hair, it will feel like work. For me, I could never have a twenty step skincare routine. I want to do the bare minimum while still maintaining healthy skin and go (I should change that). You could say the same for my hair, but I’m willing to do a bit more since I like taking care of it.

One of my close friends went back to relaxers and I completely understood why. She had a very fast paced job that’s energy-consuming. At the same time, she big chopped because her hair became over processed and broke off (I’m still angry at her stylist). Now she wears weaves and her hair is thankfully getting back to what it used to be. All that to say, healthy hair requires care and if you outsource the care, find a trustworthy stylist.

I agree with all of this, especially the part about finding a trustworthy stylist. If you find one and can go get your hair done every 1-2 weeks, great!

I know a lot of my feelings are also tainted because I just don't have the time to really enjoy hair as my 'hobby' anymore.
Yesterday I came home and tried this hair detox and I LOVED it. I was pleasantly surprised. But the entire time my little one is there crying and holding on to my ankles, crawling around lol... so I can't really enjoy the experience. I'm trying to rush the process so I can pick her up/soothe her.

Same here with the skin care routine, ain't no way I could do all those steps. I think I do enough lol. I'm good if I tone, serum, eye cream

 

[Karmi]

I big chopped for the second time in May from about mid back length to earlobe length stretched.
Before my second BC I would have screamed YES, natural hair is a lot work. My hair ruled my life. I was constantly trying products searching for the perfect moisturizer, jumping on all the latest fads because it grew this girls hair, trying to get the perfect twist out... just doing the most. But I couldn’t stop the split ends and terrible single strand knots. Henna, Alma, shikaki jacked up my hair and dried it out.

Since I BC’d I’ve only been doing wash n go’s which is what works for my hair with only the same 2 products. I found the leave in that keeps my hair moisturized and the gel that doesn’t crunch or dry it out so that’s all I use. I do my hair once on Sunday and spray it with water every morning to revive my curls, that’s it. I shampoo, deep condition with steam for 30 mins, detangle with the FL detangling brush, wash it out and style.
I have very little SSKs, which is shocking to me. My curls look different and behave much better than before. So, what I’ve discovered the second time around is less is more. I get board sometimes with just wearing a wng but I can see how much my hair has grown now neck length stretched so I’m sticking to my version of a minimal hair care routine.

 

[Neomorph]

I voted No on the poll as overall my natural hair hasn't been too difficult, but that's not to say I haven't had my fair share of struggles. My wash times have been pretty consistent (1.5 to 2 hours for APL hair) which depending on whether or not I'm doing a wash-and-go or twist-outs my style can last me from 1-2 weeks. I keep my styles basic (wash-and-gos, twist-outs, puffs and the occcasional salon silk press) so I don't get too frustrated when it comes to how I want my hair to look. I'm also not trying to grow my hair super long either as my target "lifestyle length" is BSB (which is what I had as a child prior to getting relaxers).

Now while I've not had too many issues style wise, finding products was (and in some ways still is) a huge challenge for me. At the begining of my natural hair journey it was downright aggravating trying to find products that could keep my hair moisturized, relatively tangle free (particularly in wash-and-gos as I have a lot of shrinkage), and not irritating my scalp. So no shea butter, glycerin, and very little coconut oil. As we all know natural hair companies love shea butter, coconut oil and glycerin so it ruled out a huge chunk of products for me. There were times were I would stick to something (like Shea Moisture's Manuka Honey Masque) just because it only flared my eczema up a little (compared to things like Cantu that just aggravated my scalp to no end). Once I began looking to clay masks for DCs and using Kinky Curly products (which have multiple products without glycerin/shea butter/coconut oil) things started becoming a lot easier for me. I've been natural for 7 years now (BC'd in 2012) and it wasn't until around 2015/2016 that I really started using the products that truly worked for me. So that was a lot of time and money wasted on things that didn't do my hair or scalp many favors.

All that being said, I'm really glad we are having this conversation. I feel like (in real life at least) it's almost a competition of sorts to make it seem like our natural hair journeys are as simple, effortless and road-bump free. It's not for the majority of us. It takes awhile to get into a good routine and find the right products. It's nice to be able to be honest about our hair struggles.

 

[blazingbeauty]

I agree with all of this, especially the part about finding a trustworthy stylist. If you find one and can go get your hair done every 1-2 weeks, great!

I know a lot of my feelings are also tainted because I just don't have the time to really enjoy hair as my 'hobby' anymore.
Yesterday I came home and tried this hair detox and I LOVED it. I was pleasantly surprised. But the entire time my little one is there crying and holding on to my ankles, crawling around lol... so I can't really enjoy the experience. I'm trying to rush the process so I can pick her up/soothe her.

Same here with the skin care routine, ain't no way I could do all those steps. I think I do enough lol. I'm good if I tone, serum, eye cream

Honestly, I wish I could find a stylist. I loved going to the salon when I was younger - the atmosphere, the conversations, the shampoo experience, all of it! But I’m too afraid now and natural hair salons are so expensive.

I’m glad you could sneak in some time for yourself to try the detox! I know it can’t be easy to find the time with little ones.

 

[prettyinpurple]

Booooo!

I been natural on and off since 2006 and still have no cure for single strand knots when I wear my hair in a puff and I can only keep my hair in twists or flat twist through one wash before the arm burning hours of take down and redo are necessary because my hair locs, not tangles, locs, when washed in protective styles. So yeah I still find it hard. I also dismiss outright the claims of people who have 1/4 the volume of hair that I have saying how easy natural hair is. If your entire scalp is left in my comb when I detangle then don't trivialize my experience. We obviously don't have the same hair problems.

I struggle with the decision to get locs because as much as I hate doing my hair, I hate the concept of having to get back on a stylist (loctician) schedule for retightenings.

I spent 2 1/2 hours doing a thorough detangling session last night, in prep for a hair appt. Yep I got rid of enough shed hair to make a baby wig or too lol. My hair is pretty fine but I have a good amount.

I wish people had warned me how much shed hair I'd see when detangling. It's kind of shocking after having a relaxer and being able to comb your hair everyday. Oh that and the little curly hair that end up everywhere:/

Can't forget when I get a haircut. It looks like a ton of hair on the floor and I want to have heart attack but it actually isn't a lot of hair. Thank goodness.

I'm getting a protective style today. Either the summer sun dries out my fro or the humidity shrinks the fro. On top of that, my loose hair is tangling like crazy this summer too.

ETA: I feel the same way about locs - don't want regular hair appts again and I know that I wouldn't tighten them myself. Also the growing out stage in the beginning would not be my fave look at all.

 

[rileypak]

I voted yes I don't mind.
For me, hair is work period though. That's because I get hair lazy. Random ebbs where I'm all about weekly routines then I'll hit a stretch where I'm like nah and it'll be a month or so before I even think about doing anything to my hair again

Natural/relaxed/etc, there's been no change in that part of me and my routine.
Wash Week™ is very real for me

 

[oneastrocurlie]

Honestly, I wish I could find a stylist. I loved going to the salon when I was younger - the atmosphere, the conversations, the shampoo experience, all of it! But I’m too afraid now and natural hair salons are so expensive.

Idk how long I've been natural. Somewhere along the lines of a hot minute lol. But I didn't really really start loving my natural hair until I found a great stylist. Before I was OK with it but kept it short because as it grew idk what to do with it. I wish there were more really good natural hair stylist.

 

[GettingKinky]

Idk how long I've been natural. Somewhere along the lines of a hot minute lol. But I didn't really really start loving my natural hair until I found a great stylist. Before I was OK with it but kept it short because as it grew idk what to do with it. I wish there were more really good natural hair stylist.

Me too. It’s not cool that people have to travel for hours to find a good natural stylist.