do you ever just want to...give up

[L.Brown1114]

honestly sometimes i just want to take an electric razor and shave all my hair off, lay down and cry myself to sleep. I was thinking of going bone straight and constantly have sew ins in while taking care of my hair underneath but even that seems like a lot of work and money. Idk if putting another relaxer over my hair will break it off. im exhausted. my texlaxed hair takes more work then relaxed and natural put together! today is wash day and the mere thought of pre pooing with egg and condish and then washing then Dcing then making my leave in and applying it in sections then i want my hair straight so dont get me started on blowdrying and flatironing. i'm stuck because i know too much to go back to not doing anything to my hair (ignorance truly is bliss) but i'm so tired of it being SO important........does anyone else feel like this? how have u gotten through it?

 

[Guitarhero]

Maybe you should texturize it?? What helps me to not go Halle Berry is looking at nice pics of healthy long hair. Mine is already long, but I did have a setback and it broke off so it's like I'm stuck at 2 inches above waist. But I've taken back the reins. When I consider that, if I cut, I'm had several months to get back to this...and looking toward my goal, it's not that far off. Find a nice, inspirational pic.

 

[lilsparkle825]

i've never felt like that, but if i'm not mistaken, you felt like that when you were natural, too. i know that sometimes we just need a shoulder to cry on, so you came to the right place.

your regimen is too complex....i would shudder thinking about that, too.

is the detangling part hard? if so, try an oil rinse to detangle your hair:

*rinse (or shampoo)
*rinse with lukewarm water
*add oils (i usually use EVCO, EVOO, castor oil); let sit for ~5 min
*rinse with HOT water
*go about your conditioning, whether that is cowashing or DCing (condish absorbs extra oil)
*do your detangling HERE
*rinse with cold water

you should find that your fingers/comb/whatever GLIDE through your hair.

as for the relaxer part, it doesn't make sense to me that you would relax bone straight if you are just going to weave it up. bone straight relaxed hair is at its weakest, and you wouldn't be able to "baby" it the way it needs to be taken care of. skip that.

 

[Nayna]

I think you need to be clear on your goals with your hair. How do you want it to look in 5 years or so and stick with it. Relaxed or natural set your goal and stick to it. I knew how I wanted my hair to look and I stuck by it. Didn't matter how overwhelmed I got because I knew where I wanted to end up. It helps to be able to refer to that and then keep going. Sometimes I just hid my hair for a while or tried new styles.

As far as mixing and stuff, I've never been a fan of all that either. These days if it isn't a simple spritz I ain't making it. Lol. What alternatives have you tried to simplify your regimen?

 

[LovingLady]

honestly sometimes i just want to take an electric razor and shave all my hair off, lay down and cry myself to sleep. I was thinking of going bone straight and constantly have sew ins in while taking care of my hair underneath but even that seems like a lot of work and money. Idk if putting another relaxer over my hair will break it off. im exhausted. my texlaxed hair takes more work then relaxed and natural put together! today is wash day and the mere thought of pre pooing with egg and condish and then washing then Dcing then making my leave in and applying it in sections then i want my hair straight so dont get me started on blowdrying and flatironing. i'm stuck because i know too much to go back to not doing anything to my hair (ignorance truly is bliss) but i'm so tired of it being SO important........does anyone else feel like this? how have u gotten through it?

Just because you know a lot of information about how to take care of your hair, that doesn't mean that you have to do everything in the book. Try simplifying your regimen.

One of the great things about all of this knowledge is that if I don't have the time or I am not in the mood to take care of my hair on wash days, I have the proper information to compensate for that. In other words I know what to do for the remainder of the week so my hair doesn't go crazy.

 

[kizzylonghair]

honestly sometimes i just want to take an electric razor and shave all my hair off, lay down and cry myself to sleep. I was thinking of going bone straight and constantly have sew ins in while taking care of my hair underneath but even that seems like a lot of work and money. Idk if putting another relaxer over my hair will break it off. im exhausted. my texlaxed hair takes more work then relaxed and natural put together! today is wash day and the mere thought of pre pooing with egg and condish and then washing then Dcing then making my leave in and applying it in sections then i want my hair straight so dont get me started on blowdrying and flatironing. i'm stuck because i know too much to go back to not doing anything to my hair (ignorance truly is bliss) but i'm so tired of it being SO important........does anyone else feel like this? how have u gotten through it?

Hey Girl,

Chin Up

We all go through days of madness, I had one of those moments last week, freshly relaxed hair so I thought hey been looking after it so why not treat myself and wear it down. I pulled out my flat irons and straigtened it to death, anyway as I am growing out a layered bob it was all on diff levels it was a mess, I couldnt wear it out...What a waste of time & heat. I was so upset luckily no set back.

Can I ask why you texlax if you want straight hair?

I have really fine hair and have tried the texlax thing all that happen is that I ended up using more heat/manipulation after washing to get it straight so was counter productive for me.
I now have relaxed hair (not overly) thats stay straight & moist and when I want some body get my rollerset on.
I am seeing far more progress too

 

[L.Brown1114]

I think you need to be clear on your goals with your hair. How do you want it to look in 5 years or so and stick with it. Relaxed or natural set your goal and stick to it. I knew how I wanted my hair to look and I stuck by it. Didn't matter how overwhelmed I got because I knew where I wanted to end up. It helps to be able to refer to that and then keep going. Sometimes I just hid my hair for a while or tried new styles.

As far as mixing and stuff, I've never been a fan of all that either. These days if it isn't a simple spritz I ain't making it. Lol. What alternatives have you tried to simplify your regimen?

my regimine was very simple at one point then idk how it got complicated. i havnt tried any alternatives besides not prepooing all the time and i cowash everyother day and i have diff conditioners for diff reasons. yeeeeaaaahhhhh i need to go back to the basics.

Hey Girl,

Chin Up

We all go through days of madness, I had one of those moments last week, freshly relaxed hair so I thought hey been looking after it so why not treat myself and wear it down. I pulled out my flat irons and straigtened it to death, anyway as I am growing out a layered bob it was all on diff levels it was a mess, I couldnt wear it out...What a waste of time & heat. I was so upset luckily no set back.

Can I ask why you texlax if you want straight hair?

I have really fine hair and have tried the texlax thing all that happen is that I ended up using more heat/manipulation after washing to get it straight so was counter productive for me.
I now have relaxed hair (not overly) thats stay straight & moist and when I want some body get my rollerset on.
I am seeing far more progress too

i thought i could pull off both i think i made it too curly cuz when its straight and the smallest amount of moisture makes it curl back up so i may do a corrective and be 80% texlaxed so it wont be bone straight and still have some elasticity.

 

[lboogie2679]

I went through the same thing after going natural and then returning to relaxers. After several months of dealing with unruly texlaxed hair I ended up doing a corrective. My hair still has texture but its alot easier to straighten and detangle. I am glad I made this decision bc it allows me to get straight styles and my braidouts still have lots of texture and my fine strands feel stronger then when bone straight.

 

[Janet']

OP,

As has already been stated, I'm really sorry that you are feeling crazy right now...Try the corrective, simplify your regimen and be patient with yourself and your hair...Nothing fabulous happens overnight... ((hugs))

 

[Whimsy]

Just reading your hair plan made me tired.

Why not simplify. Just cowash (or wash), condition (or dc) and then moisturize and go!

Maybe if you just keep things simple for a while you won't feel so beat up about your hair.

BIG FAT HUG to you cuz I know where you are, I've been frustrated and looking for a buzzcut and a good cry too sometimes.

 

[Nonie]

Just because you know a lot of information about how to take care of your hair, that doesn't mean that you have to do everything in the book. Try simplifying your regimen.

One of the great things about all of this knowledge is that if I don't have the time or I am not in the mood to take care of my hair on wash days, I have the proper information to compensate for that. In other words I know what to do for the remainder of the week so my hair doesn't go crazy.

Thank you.

OP, I think you need to take a step back and look for simple regimens. Hair doesn't get healthy or long because you do a thousand things to it.

Every time I see your posts, I get so exhausted, not because I'm tired of your posts, but because you sound so drained and like this hair growing journey is a punishment to you. It doesn't have to be like that. You don't have to try everything you read.

I don't think you have to be a kitchen scientist to have healthy hair. I don't do egg/conditioner prepoos, I don't do oil rinses, I don't do prepoos at all. I shampoo, condition, ACV rinse with products I pick up from CVS. Granted, I might not be a good example for great hair, but here's an example of someone who's hair looks awesome from KISS:

http://public.fotki.com/yassylane/type4hair/

Kimmaytube's hair is great too and her regimen is simple as well.

If you like straight hair, get it relaxed and then get someone like Supergirl to be your role model. Other hair gurus like JCoily (I can never keep her new screen name straight), SparklingFlame, Traycee, Sylver can take you under their wings and give simple regimens.

You can still get "textured" hair with straight hair by doing twists-outs and braid-outs on relaxed hair. I don't know why you feel like it's a crime to relax your hair straight. So what if 8147368761 are transitioning or texlaxing. I might be wrong but you seem to be easily influenced by what the masses are doing. I think you should find yourself a big sis and do only what she does.

This stress you keep having is not good for you or your hair.

 

[lolascurls]

Hey hun! Sorrry your're feeling so down at the moment. BIG HUG!!!!
1) As the others have said, simplify!
I was also trying to pre-poo, co-wash and DC but now I've found my hair can get quite soft with just co-washing (2 rinses and I'm good!).
2) Pick and choose what you want your regimen to do. I felt pre-pooing was better for me because I couldn't be bothered to jump in and out of the shower.

3) I mix a week's worth of Kimmaytube's leave-in and keep it in the frigde. If I run out, I have another leave-in that can step into the breach.

Remember, you can chill on all the things you do with your hair and IT WILL STILL BE GROWING. All you are doing is keeping the ends moisturized. Don't sweat it too much.

Just to be safe, hide the scissors! lol!

 

[L.Brown1114]

thanks you guys!! i made it a job rather than a fun hobby. im not generally the type of person that joins bandwagons but for some reason when it comes to hair i do. i will simplify my regimen. i just washed with creme of nature moisturizing shampoo and conditioned with TJ nourishing spa and then i'm going to put in kimmays tube leave in. i'm gonna leave out DCing to c how my hair handles it. i'm glad everyone was so understanding and i will def. do a corrective and keep my hair relaxed because *I* want to

 

[PuddingPop]

I don't have any advice but I understand what you're saying about feelinl like giving up. I am in such a hair rut right now and I really dont feel like doing anything to my hair and im only about 4 weeks post so i'll be taking som tips and inspiration too

 

[1QTPie]

When I was relaxed, my routine was easy as pie.

Go to the stylist every 2 weeks to get it rollerset. I never had to do anything else, I barely had to trim because I never put heat on it. I relaxed maybe 3 times a year because rollersetting/wrapping kept my hair straight.

You're doing too much.

Just find a shampoo that you like, a couple of conditioners that you like and then the others as necessary (protein, oil, deep conditioner etc.)

Don't get yourself all worked up over your hair. Maybe it's time to treat yourself to a salon visit. Just tell them no scissors and no heat.

 

[Tiye]

honestly sometimes i just want to take an electric razor and shave all my hair off, lay down and cry myself to sleep. I was thinking of going bone straight and constantly have sew ins in while taking care of my hair underneath but even that seems like a lot of work and money. Idk if putting another relaxer over my hair will break it off. im exhausted. my texlaxed hair takes more work then relaxed and natural put together! today is wash day and the mere thought of pre pooing with egg and condish and then washing then Dcing then making my leave in and applying it in sections then i want my hair straight so dont get me started on blowdrying and flatironing. i'm stuck because i know too much to go back to not doing anything to my hair (ignorance truly is bliss) but i'm so tired of it being SO important........does anyone else feel like this? how have u gotten through it?

So simplify. The world is full of people who don't do pre-shampoo treatments. I've never put egg in my hair in my life - and I don't feel like I'm missing anything. Find a good shampoo and conditioner and just use that. If you use a quality conditioner you will not need the second step dc. Just try it and you'll see. Also if the blow drying and flat ironing is taking so long that you dread it, then maybe your technique needs tweaking - go to youtube and find tutorials by a pro who knows how to do these things more efficiently and take notes. And consider wigs - just to give yourself a break. It doesn't have to be your own hair all the time.

 

[southerncitygirl]

i pre-poo, poo/condish or co-wash simply because i want to.i kinda see taking care of my natural hair as like a date with it and treat it with loving care. do what works for you and realize that some people prefer a simpler reggie and get great results, while others like to do slightly more, its all a matter of choice. don't feel pressure to jump on every bandwagon either, if you want to be relaxed, do it!

 

[Vashti]

I haven't felt like chopping my hair off in a couple of years but having pics of celebrities with the kind of hair I like keeps me from getting too frustrated or bored and doing something crazy. It keeps my goal in mind even if I'm less than impressed with my own hair at the moment. Just hang in there!

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

Go back to the basics hun!

1. Simplify your regimen
2. Remember WHY you started this journey.
3. Focus on the health part first...Body and soul included....
4. This journey will be hard at times...but it shouldn't be like that ALL the time....

I HTH! But don't quit....Stay in the race...stay on the path...This is your journey...You define the goals.....If taking a time limit off will help, then do so...I have a time limit...sometimes I reach it ahead of the time...sometimes I miss it entirely....I actually anticipate this journey to last until I die...and I'm okay with that because I expect my hair's needs to change....

OH YEAH! I remembered that when I mastered a regimen, then tried to add all these fancy things to it...my hair suffered....I simplified it and it came out better.

If you finish last...at least you finished...

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

thanks you guys!! i made it a job rather than a fun hobby. im not generally the type of person that joins bandwagons but for some reason when it comes to hair i do. i will simplify my regimen. i just washed with creme of nature moisturizing shampoo and conditioned with TJ nourishing spa and then i'm going to put in kimmays tube leave in. i'm gonna leave out DCing to c how my hair handles it. i'm glad everyone was so understanding and i will def. do a corrective and keep my hair relaxed because *I* want to

Good for you...you may be able to get away with DCing every other wash day. To be honest If I don't feel like it, I do a 30 minute DC rather than my 2+ hr DC lately....I make sure its cleansed, moisturized, and put into a PS style....All the other treatments: Clarify, DC, trim, Protein...gets in where it fits in...or when the hair is begging for it....Life is too short...I work 2 jobs BTW...So I understand

 

[FebeeSigns]

Sometimes I did want to give up. I've been dealing with splits and knots and tangles so much that it even hurts lmao and it's so time consuming, and then I get set backs when I have to cut. What kept me going were reminding myself of my goals and why i need to achieve them. For some reason, a good % of my self esteem comes from looking good. Because when I look good I feel good. And hair plays a very important role in looking good, IMO. That is why I need to grow my hair out. Because long hair is usually healthy hair. If you were able to retain so much then your hair is relatively healthy. There are exceptions though. We are all familiar with people who have long hair that is raggedy and breaking, split up, ect and don't want to cut. I just remind myself that if I keep going, I will feel better, because I look better. Keep your values in sight.