Do some women really believe that...?

[Solitude]

Okay, after reading the whole story, it's safe to say that those women were ignorant - culturally and otherwise. Since you were stuck on a bus with them, I can see how it would be difficult not to respond.

 

[Vashti]

They were nasty hood rats out looking for something to do. When black people tell other black people "Go back to Africa" you know that's extreme self hatred. They weren't even worth speaking to.

 

[Guitarhero]

There's a lot of self hate in the black community.

From Capetown, to Tangiers, Bahia to France, Kingston to Toronto and everywhere else and in-between. I've seen and witnessed some truly ugly.

 

[Dijah]

OK, I didn't want to go off topic but here is the story:

I was on a Greyhound bus for 22 hours overnight back and forth (so 44 hours) for an out of state job interview (Was too broke to fly ) Anyways, we're almost at my destination and we stop near a McDonalds. I go to use to use the bathroom to freshen up and was about to begin brushing my teeth when a few more ladies walked in. So I stood to the side and was brushing my teeth so other people can use the sink, my intention was to wait till everyone was done to rinse.

Anyways, some lady goes "Go ahead", so I was doing the spit and rinse thing before some lady walks out of the bathroom and I move aside again. Then she says out loud and irritated, "I don't know why this girl is taking so long to brush her frigging teeth". Then I answered, "What are you talking about? You clearly say me waiting for people to finish what they were doing. Of course, it's gonna take me longer". Anyways, she gets on my case for brushing my teeth in a public bathroom, so I tell her to leave the bathroom since she has already washed her hands. Her friend comes out and she starts yelling and clapping over my head as I was finishing up, "S*** S***!!!...*unintelligble stuff*".

The main lady left, then her friend decides to pick up from where she left off and said it was gross and I left my spit on the sink. Some lady used the soap foam just minutes before and left really quickly and left a mess (I guess she wanted no part of this haha). Anyways, she seemed slightly calmer but we still disagreed and I left the situation.

I was waiting at the food counter then I hear her say out loud as she walks out the bathroom, "These people need to go back to Africa". I ignore her, and think that's the end of it. But it wasn't.

We're on the bus, I'm listening to my IPod, then she turns in her seat and says something to me. I removed my headphones like, "What?!". She says "Hi" with a fake smile so i return the gesture. Then I hear her and her friends giggling and mimicking my voice. As I said wrong day for me, I got yelled at by a bus driver not long ago for asking him what door to line up for my ticket so I pretty much wasn't gonna take any more ish that day.

I walk up to her seat and say, "Miss, if you have something to say, you can say it t my face". Then she tells me to sit down, calls me a Jigaboo, that was when I laughed in her face like "Really?". I don't think she saw the irony. I left anyway, then she says, "Go sit your nappy a** hair down...nappy a** hair (x3)". So I point out her fake lacefront and tell her she's the one that needs to be sitting down. She did.

Then she came to my seat, threatened to drag me off the bus if I came in her face again with my Jamaican *** etc. I push her pointing finger away. I tell her I'll call the police if she touches me. She says call them, her friends say, "She won't do nothing, there's 3 of us". They talk about me some more, they're about to get off at Newark, she takes a picture of me so she remembers to kick my a* if she sees me again. I offer to pose for more pictures. Her and her friends left, banged on my window, mouthed some expletives, and continuedd on with their sorry lives.

By the way, this was all with the friend of the woman that said I was taking too long. The end.

Now I don't know about you, but I go on a lot of international flights and I see people brushing their teeth in the bathroom. Maybe I was crazy to do that.

I'm sorry this happened to you. But I am also very happy you got out of that situation safe.
Some people are just looking for a fight. They size you up and think you are easy pickings. This wasn't about you or your hair, but about ignorance and anger having nothing to do with you.

 

[hair4romheaven]

OK, I didn't want to go off topic but here is the story:

I was on a Greyhound bus for 22 hours overnight back and forth (so 44 hours) for an out of state job interview (Was too broke to fly ) Anyways, we're almost at my destination and we stop near a McDonalds. I go to use to use the bathroom to freshen up and was about to begin brushing my teeth when a few more ladies walked in. So I stood to the side and was brushing my teeth so other people can use the sink, my intention was to wait till everyone was done to rinse.

Anyways, some lady goes "Go ahead", so I was doing the spit and rinse thing before some lady walks out of the bathroom and I move aside again. Then she says out loud and irritated, "I don't know why this girl is taking so long to brush her frigging teeth". Then I answered, "What are you talking about? You clearly say me waiting for people to finish what they were doing. Of course, it's gonna take me longer". Anyways, she gets on my case for brushing my teeth in a public bathroom, so I tell her to leave the bathroom since she has already washed her hands. Her friend comes out and she starts yelling and clapping over my head as I was finishing up, "S*** S***!!!...*unintelligble stuff*".

The main lady left, then her friend decides to pick up from where she left off and said it was gross and I left my spit on the sink. Some lady used the soap foam just minutes before and left really quickly and left a mess (I guess she wanted no part of this haha). Anyways, she seemed slightly calmer but we still disagreed and I left the situation.

I was waiting at the food counter then I hear her say out loud as she walks out the bathroom, "These people need to go back to Africa". I ignore her, and think that's the end of it. But it wasn't.

We're on the bus, I'm listening to my IPod, then she turns in her seat and says something to me. I removed my headphones like, "What?!". She says "Hi" with a fake smile so i return the gesture. Then I hear her and her friends giggling and mimicking my voice. As I said wrong day for me, I got yelled at by a bus driver not long ago for asking him what door to line up for my ticket so I pretty much wasn't gonna take any more ish that day.

I walk up to her seat and say, "Miss, if you have something to say, you can say it t my face". Then she tells me to sit down, calls me a Jigaboo, that was when I laughed in her face like "Really?". I don't think she saw the irony. I left anyway, then she says, "Go sit your nappy a** hair down...nappy a** hair (x3)". So I point out her fake lacefront and tell her she's the one that needs to be sitting down. She did.

Then she came to my seat, threatened to drag me off the bus if I came in her face again with my Jamaican *** etc. I push her pointing finger away. I tell her I'll call the police if she touches me. She says call them, her friends say, "She won't do nothing, there's 3 of us". They talk about me some more, they're about to get off at Newark, she takes a picture of me so she remembers to kick my a* if she sees me again. I offer to pose for more pictures. Her and her friends left, banged on my window, mouthed some expletives, and continuedd on with their sorry lives.

By the way, this was all with the friend of the woman that said I was taking too long. The end.

Now I don't know about you, but I go on a lot of international flights and I see people brushing their teeth in the bathroom. Maybe I was crazy to do that.

You provoked it as well. Glad you're safe.

 

[Honey Bee]

You provoked it as well. Glad you're safe.

I'm gonna have to go ahead and co-sign this.

OP, you were right in the brushing your teeth portion of the story. Nobody can reasonably find fault in the fact that you were trying to be considerate. You could have diffused the situation by stating that, but you didn't have to, and you were having a bad day. Fine.

Otoh, all the stuff that happened on the bus, you escalated it. Removing your iPod was the first mistake, because you looked like you actually cared about what they were saying. Then, that bit about "Say it to my face".... uh, yeah. I don't know where you're from, but around here, that's Step 2 leading up to a fight... so, yeah.

eta: The way you initially presented the story made it sound like they were unprovoked, which isn't entirely true. They were wrong in the bathroom, true, but that mess you got into on the bus was on you. The way you presented the story also encouraged the anti-AA sentiment in this thread, which I really don't appreciate. Ignorant people from everywhere act ignorant. Do I extrapolate every ignorant comment I've ever heard from a Nigerian onto all Nigerians? No, because that would be ignorant.

 

[comatose]

I'm gonna have to go ahead and co-sign this.

OP, you were right in the brushing your teeth portion of the story. Nobody can reasonably find fault in the fact that you were trying to be considerate. You could have diffused the situation by stating that, but you didn't have to, and you were having a bad day. Fine.

Otoh, all the stuff that happened on the bus, you escalated it. Removing your iPod was the first mistake, because you looked like you actually cared about what they were saying. Then, that bit about "Say it to my face".... uh, yeah. I don't know where you're from, but around here, that's Step 2 leading up to a fight... so, yeah.

eta: The way you initially presented the story made it sound like they were unprovoked, which isn't entirely true. They were wrong in the bathroom, true, but that mess you got into on the bus was on you. The way you presented the story also encouraged the anti-AA sentiment in this thread, which I really don't appreciate. Ignorant people from everywhere act ignorant. Do I extrapolate every ignorant comment I've ever heard from a Nigerian onto all Nigerians? No, because that would be ignorant.

I don't think that statement was necessary, it sounds defensive, and you're turning the topic into something that it's not. I (and I'm hoping everyone that posted) do know that ignorance permeates race, nationality etc. I don't think anyone went as far as having anti-AA sentiment on this thread. At least I didn't sense it. People were more bothered by ignorant "women" within the black community or otherwise. I thought the comment she made about hair was a good talking point to use for this thread. But I guess most people were curious about the whole story.

Are you now placing the blame on me for their comments because you believe I am supposedly judging all AA women? I might be interpreting this wrong, anyway. I do know I had my share of responsibility in the whole drama, but I don't regret it, really.

The whole situation is water under the bridge, but I made the thread because I thought a topic could come out the things she had said about hair.

 

[EllePixie]

I don't understand why people just can't see/admit that it's obvious this woman was trying to upset you, which she obviously succeeded at, and leave it at that. No, what she said wasn't nice, but she wasn't trying to be! Just because someone goes off on race doesn't actually mean they believe what they are saying, especially in an escalated situation like you posted.

OT but not really...it's like the whole thing with Mel Gibson. I actually don't think he's racist, I think he's a jerk, but not racist. People get mad/drunk and say ridiculous things. I'm more concerned when people say things like that and they think they are making an intelligent point.

That may be why some people take issue with how you posted the thread. Just offering my opinion. Carry on!

 

[GaiasDaughter24]

I never understand women like that. I've been bothered by women like that ALL OF MY LIFE!!! (I can't tell you how happy I am that I don't have to deal with that crap anymore. That's one thing I don't miss about NY). I'm sorry they bothered you. Im just glad you're safe. I keep my mouth closed in those situations not out of being a punk but of of being safe. People are fools these days. Those type of people have serious issues.

 

[Honey Bee]

Are you now placing the blame on me for their comments because you believe I am supposedly judging all AA women? I might be interpreting this wrong, anyway. I do know I had my share of responsibility in the whole drama, but I don't regret it, really.

Indirectly. I thought I was pretty clear when I said that the way you presented the story encouraged a certain tone to this thread (that I happened to find unwarranted). Your first post established that they were AA and ignorant, but the second post and the amount of thanks it received tells me that a lot of people thought you were leaving out something significant. Then, you reply like, oh, what do you mean? Why not mention then that you had been involved in some type of drama with them already? That would have clarified matters and halted the ensuing speculation, which then led to discussions of 'self-hate' and what (presumably, non-AA's) find "hilarious" about AA's.

And so, the thread that stemmed from your half-telling of the story ended up rubbing me the wrong way. You may not have known where it would go, which is fine, but I certainly have the right to comment on it.

 

[comatose]

Indirectly. I thought I was pretty clear when I said that the way you presented the story encouraged a certain tone to this thread (that I happened to find unwarranted). Your first post established that they were AA and ignorant, but the second post and the amount of thanks it received tells me that a lot of people thought you were leaving out something significant. Then, you reply like, oh, what do you mean? Why not mention then that you had been involved in some type of drama with them already? That would have clarified matters and halted the ensuing speculation, which then led to discussions of 'self-hate' and what (presumably, non-AA's) find "hilarious" about AA's.

And so, the thread that stemmed from your half-telling of the story ended up rubbing me the wrong way. You may not have known where it would go, which is fine, but I certainly have the right to comment on it.

I did say that I wasn't telling the story to avoid going off topic, I'm still not sure how this forum works (if threads are moved because they're not on topic). As you saw from me telling the story anyway, I didn't initially withhold the story to fulfill some self-serving agenda. What the person said about hair made me think, "are there actually people who believe..." well you know the title of the thread.

 

[comatose]

I just went back to read my original post. I did say I got into a verbal altercation (I interpreted that as having an argument with someone). I didn't think that sounded like it happened out of the blue, unprovoked. If it did sound that way to everyone, that was not my intention.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

welp, this thread transformed into somethin else. ♥

 

[Lexib]

That's not exactly true lol...many times women will get in an argument with another and bash anything they can think of, regardless of their own appearance.

especially if they think you're spineless/dumb enough to not notice the irony and comment back.

 

[LunadeMiel]

I find people like that funny. I've had women with obviously horrible weaves look at my wash and go and laugh. One time a group of girls walked past me and said loudly "oh God, I reallllly need a perm" and then snickered. I just kept on moving because there is no way I would trade my naps for the hay on their heads

 

[knt1229]

If you look around this site and other hairboards you will see plenty of black women who either hate their hair and prefer to "hide" it or women who encounter other black people who make them feel bad for choosing to wear their natural hair texture instead of weaving it up or relaxing it.

So to answer your question absolutely yes there are some women who feel fake hair is better than natural hair.

The reason this girl threw those insults at you is because in the black community having a certain texture of hair is seen as bad while having certain other hair textures is seen as good. So, when some black women argue they will use insults like nappy this or nappy that or bald headed this or bald headed that. Folk in the black community are the same where skin tone is involved as well. Having a "bad" hair texture is so unwanted by so many black women that fake hair always trumps it in their minds.

 

[mrsjohnson75]

Greyhound sucks there are some real crazy characters on those buses.

 

[Sondice]

Now I don't know about you, but I go on a lot of international flights and I see people brushing their teeth in the bathroom. Maybe I was crazy to do that.

I def dont think it was weird, they were just being a holes. Like ure on a bus for the whole day, that gross not to brush your teeth even once lol. Thank God they didnt like jump u or something.

 

[Sondice]

Greyhound sucks there are some real crazy characters on those buses.

Oh yea I word I rode it twice, I wont do it again, lol I will save up the extra coin and just fly. So much better.