I am currently going through a divorce and sadly I have done all the things you guys said not to do (ALL) . I have lost myself in this whole thing and feel so out of character of my normal self. To give a quick background I am currently pregnant with a six year old all by my husband and he also has a new girlfriend.Is there anyway to get my self respect back i feel like such a loser he completly blind-sided me. Im so happy to see this thread Im lost please help me.
Divorce Support Thread
- Thread starter panamoni
- Start date
GreenD
New Member
Oh New Hair I'm sorry to hear you're going through this, but we're here to support you in anyway we can. Unfortunately, I'm just on the verge of separating so I can't offer you much advice, but I'm sure everything will work out for you.
What city are you in? Maybe I can help you find some resources in your area.
What city are you in? Maybe I can help you find some resources in your area.
mscocoface
Well-Known Member
There is a wonderful thing about losing self respect. YOU CAN FIND IT AGAIN!
People have to learn lessons in different ways and in different degrees. Some lessons for some are harder to learn. Some for others are easier. Do not compare yourself.
Just start where you are, figure out what you want and need, then make a plan and work the plan.
You can begin again it is never too late and you WILL overcome this, you have to for your babies as well as for yourself.
Never ever think you are not worth it or it is too late. I know of which I speak.
Wishing you the best.
mscocoface
Well-Known Member
I don't know if this will help anyone, but this is the program that I went through after my divorce. It was a lifesaver and I could not have cleaned my emotional system like I did or as quickly as I did without their help.
It is usually free or a very nominal price but it was worth it. I soo believed in it that I became one of the teachers in my local program as well as a speaker.
I do not have any affiliation with this program any longer, so it is by no means a commerical, just giving advice on what helped me and my son get through. There is a children's program for this also. We both needed help and it was truly helpful for us both.
http://www.divorcecare.com/
http://www.dc4k.org/
I think you can purchase this program online also. It was really beneficial to meet with a support group though.
Praying for you all.
It is usually free or a very nominal price but it was worth it. I soo believed in it that I became one of the teachers in my local program as well as a speaker.
I do not have any affiliation with this program any longer, so it is by no means a commerical, just giving advice on what helped me and my son get through. There is a children's program for this also. We both needed help and it was truly helpful for us both.
http://www.divorcecare.com/
http://www.dc4k.org/
I think you can purchase this program online also. It was really beneficial to meet with a support group though.
Praying for you all.
Thanks guys, This has truly been the hardest months of my life. I have really good days and days where the pain is so much I can hardly breathe. I know i will get through because i love my daughter and I have to be strong for our new baby. I just needed to vent thanks for listening.
What do you consider the first few years of marriage, 4 maybe?I'm asking because I'm wondering if it's like contractions....the closer they are, the closer you are to delivering/divorcing. So instead of 6 months, my last rant/episode was in Sept. So my "contractions" are getting closer.
I heard that after/around 5 years things should pan out, I hope this is true. I'm really trying my best to hang in there for things to get better but slowly and surely I'm shutting down more and more. Once all the juice is gone, it's gone!!! No back up, no reserve, no generator.....no nothing. I'm already on E, so next will be vapors.
I will be married 11 years in May and it was bad for at least five
While I was in the the 5 years, I thought they were so-so, good and bad then when we got in the lovey 
dove stage we are now, dh and I were like "man that was bad, who were we kidding" There is not one emotion I didn't feel during that time and dh could park the car wrong and I'd be like "I'm outta here dog" Then three months later it was good, and so on. As a marriage goes, you realize that relationships are cyclic, you recognize the lulls and you work through them, every minor thing isn't divorce worthy now. Now I'm like meehh....yea ok
Again, I didn't mean to be dismissive to the newly marrieds and those ladies really going through divorce where it's valid. When I hear newly marrieds tell me something I'm like oh ok, night night
because I know anything that happens in a marriage under 4-5 years IMO is amplified oft times because of the youth/inexperience of the marriage. It's a learning process
MuziqizLyfe
Well-Known Member
^^^Your post is so on point, I had to thank you again
Jazzmommy
Well-Known Member
I'm glad to hear you had a good experience with Divorcecare. I plan to sign up along with my dd who will attend the one for kids.I don't know if this will help anyone, but this is the program that I went through after my divorce. It was a lifesaver and I could not have cleaned my emotional system like I did or as quickly as I did without their help.
It is usually free or a very nominal price but it was worth it. I soo believed in it that I became one of the teachers in my local program as well as a speaker.
I do not have any affiliation with this program any longer, so it is by no means a commerical, just giving advice on what helped me and my son get through. There is a children's program for this also. We both needed help and it was truly helpful for us both.
http://www.divorcecare.com/
http://www.dc4k.org/
I think you can purchase this program online also. It was really beneficial to meet with a support group though.
Praying for you all.
Jazzmommy
Well-Known Member
panamoni
Well-Known Member
Hey,
You are not a loser!! You're human, and we all make mistakes. You will get your self-respect back. You actually still have it -- there are little ways that right now you show yourself that you love yourself, and you can work on increasing it in time.
I attended a divorce boot camp and retreat amd divorce support groups -- it's been a very empowering experience. See if there's a women's resource center of some sort in your area. I think that the best thing to do is to find people you trust and keep talking about your situation. Talking about it can lead you to take the next steps that you need to and discover that you are not alone.
One nugget of truth that I learned this year, that I'm truly grateful for is that there is life on the other side of divorce/my husband. Fulfilling life.
On a side note about me: each day, I get closer and closer to filing. Then, I'll have to work on forgiveness, because I don't want to burn with resentment for the rest of my life.
Jazzmommy
Well-Known Member
Hello ladies,
So how did you all do during the holidays? As for me, I asked my dh for a divorce this week. He was at first very friendly and nice afterwards, but has now started to show his arse. He will live in the home while we go through the divorce because he can't afford to leave. He has been sleeping on the sofa in the living room 90% of the time all this year (he says because of his back), but now wants to sleep in the same bed as me.
So, if any of you have gone through a divorce while living in the same home, I would love to hear some tips (you can PM me if you prefer.
Here's to a new beginning in 2010!!!
So how did you all do during the holidays? As for me, I asked my dh for a divorce this week. He was at first very friendly and nice afterwards, but has now started to show his arse. He will live in the home while we go through the divorce because he can't afford to leave. He has been sleeping on the sofa in the living room 90% of the time all this year (he says because of his back), but now wants to sleep in the same bed as me.
So, if any of you have gone through a divorce while living in the same home, I would love to hear some tips (you can PM me if you prefer.
Here's to a new beginning in 2010!!!
