Different Faiths or No Belief In God

[Country gal]

It seems I always date guys that are sketchy when it comes to proclaiming a faith or being Christian. I am Christian, it seems I end up being unequally yoked. I started dating someone and he doesn't have any religious ties. Another guy I date, doesn't believe in Christianity. erplexed My last boyfriend only went to church because I go to church.

How have you dealt with dating or marrying someone of a different faith or an atheist?

 

[pisceschica]

I just don't think its possible especially if you plan on having children especially in the case where one or both people are strong believers in their faith.

Believe me I have lived it. My mother is a christian and my father is a muslim. My father is the typical controlling scorpio and wanted us to be muslims. He wanted us to have absolutely nothing to do with my mother's christian faith. He would take us to mosques and other muslim religious events but was steamed when we went to church even just to attend a family's communion or christening. While on the otherhand my mother did not really care which faith we followed as long as we believed in god which I don't. Due to this it is important to me to find someone who is atheist, agnostic, non religious so we won't have problems in marriage or child rearing.

Anyways like I said if you think you are going to be having children with this person you have to think long and hard about what stance you are going to take regarding religion. Even if you share the same following you may have problems getting your children to go to church when your not so much faith husband is sleeping in. I just feel that in this day and age people are more christian, muslim, (insert religion) in name only instead of their actions.

I think if strong faith in christianity and or god is important to you you should make that your priority by meeting men in church or going to dating websites/date nights specifically geared toward that.

 

[Country gal]

I am not trying to stereotype, it seems some of the black males I come across don't have a strong faith.

 

[pisceschica]

I am not trying to stereotype, it seems some of the black males I come across don't have a strong faith.

I think that applies to alot of men... or atleast the ones that I have come across.

 

[Phoenix14]

I believe in being equally yoked spiritually so it is nice for a change to be with someone who is on my level. We're both naive but willing students. lol. One of my past SO's believed in God and that was about it. In fact he ridiculed my own beliefs and faith. I believe that being of one mind is very important when raising children.

 

[tmichelle]

I just don't think its possible especially if you plan on having children especially in the case where one or both people are strong believers in their faith.

Believe me I have lived it. My mother is a christian and my father is a muslim. My father is the typical controlling scorpio and wanted us to be muslims. He wanted us to have absolutely nothing to do with my mother's christian faith. He would take us to mosques and other muslim religious events but was steamed when we went to church even just to attend a family's communion or christening. While on the otherhand my mother did not really care which faith we followed as long as we believed in god which I don't. Due to this it is important to me to find someone who is atheist, agnostic, non religious so we won't have problems in marriage or child rearing.

Anyways like I said if you think you are going to be having children with this person you have to think long and hard about what stance you are going to take regarding religion. Even if you share the same following you may have problems getting your children to go to church when your not so much faith husband is sleeping in. I just feel that in this day and age people are more christian, muslim, (insert religion) in name only instead of their actions.

I think if strong faith in christianity and or god is important to you you should make that your priority by meeting men in church or going to dating websites/date nights specifically geared toward that.

How interesting, I learned many years ago that typically when one person is of one faith and the other of another, the kids grow up being nothing. It seems to have been accurate in your case.

OP. Have you found any men in church services?

 

[pisceschica]

How interesting, I learned many years ago that typically when one person is of one faith and the other of another, the kids grow up being nothing. It seems to have been accurate in your case.

OP. Have you found any men in church services?

I probably should have mentioned in my original post that I tried the route of christianity b/c as life went on my father became less strict.

The reason I had chosen to become atheist is because I didn't feel any of what I was hearing my heart. My mind would not let me grasp the idea of a higher power. My heart and mind kept questioning it. So in the end I just said forget it.

ETA: I wanted to mention that I am the only atheist child in the bunch. My older and younger brother and younger sister believe in god/ practice christianity I am the only one that does not.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I've found that to be my experience as well. Or if they are a christian you would never know it.

But, I'm not perfect so really can't judge the guys i've dealt with in the past. Right now i'm trying to get back on my walk with the Lord and i know he is not going to be happy with me not being equally yolked. I just need to wait on him to send me what i need which is easier said than done

 

[Country gal]

How interesting, I learned many years ago that typically when one person is of one faith and the other of another, the kids grow up being nothing. It seems to have been accurate in your case.

OP. Have you found any men in church services?

Nope. They are boring. I go to a catholic church.

 

[song_of_serenity]

It seems I always date guys that are sketchy when it comes to proclaiming a faith or being Christian. I am Christian, it seems I end up being unequally yoked. I started dating someone and he doesn't have any religious ties. Another guy I date, doesn't believe in Christianity. erplexed My last boyfriend only went to church because I go to church.

How have you dealt with dating or marrying someone of a different faith or an atheist?

I don't. How am I going to date a man who has no respect or recognition for the God I serve as my all and all? "Yeah, God, I love and respect you, you are the driving force in my life. Oh, James? Yeah, he doesn't believe in you or respects you, but I'm going to date him anyway."

It always causes problems because even if they are "cool" with being an atheist and you being a Christian, it's never good the other way around unless you are lackluster in your faith. Pray and God will send you someone who shares your faith and isn't just a lukewarm Christian, either. It happened for me!
~*Janelle~*

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I don't. How am I going to date a man who has no respect or recognition for the God I serve as my all and all? "Yeah, God, I love and respect you, you are the driving force in my life. Oh, James? Yeah, he doesn't believe in you or respects you, but I'm going to date him anyway."

It always causes problems because even if they are "cool" with being an atheist and you being a Christian, it's never good the other way around unless you are lackluster in your faith. Pray and God will send you someone who shares your faith and isn't just a lukewarm Christian, either. It happened for me!
~*Janelle~*

Love it!!!

 

[Lenee925]

CountryGal, I sent a PM.

 

[Poobity]

Been there, done that; we're not together anymore (because of other reasons, even though I see that in hindsight the different faith thing would have gotten harder to deal with).

Now whenever I look for a potential mate, he has to be a Christian or I KIM.

 

[Caramela]

Dating is one thing, but if you plan to have a serious relationship or be married to a man, personally I think you had better be on one spiritual accord.

 

[Angelicus]

Yep, I learned my lesson and I'm not even interested in a man that doesn't have the same beliefs that I have. He may be cute with a job but if he isn't a christian and fearful of the Lord, *aol voice* Good-bye!

 

[poookie]

How have you dealt with dating or marrying someone of a different faith or an atheist?

yes... well he wasn't an atheist, but this guy that wasted a year of my time didn't believe a lick of anything related to christianity. his stepfather is a pastor, mother is a reverend, and he was "forced" (his words, not mine) as a child to spend most of his time in church. as a result, he grew resentful of the faith, and didn't inform me of this until 2 months before the end of our relationship.

he'd go with me to church, sing with me, pray with me, and have discussions with me about the Bible, but as soon as i found out that it wasn't a driving force in his life, as it is in mine, i asked God to take care of things. we ended up breaking up soon after, and i haven't been happier.

i can't wait for the Lord to bless me with a man with the same beliefs and convictions as me.

 

[LBoogie]

I wouldn't be able to do it.

My faith is a huge part of who I am, I pray before I eat, sleep, etc. I thank God for living everyday. The simple things, are the things that usher us through our days. Someone that is of no faith doesn't do those things and look at you sideways when you do. I couldn't deal with that in a personal relationship. There has to be some kind of commonality, and no commonality is deeper than one's faith. A man didn't have to be a holy roller per se,no need to carry a tambourine to date me, but he had to BELIEVE and acknowledge.

 

[Eisani]

It seems I always date guys that are sketchy when it comes to proclaiming a faith or being Christian. I am Christian, it seems I end up being unequally yoked. I started dating someone and he doesn't have any religious ties. Another guy I date, doesn't believe in Christianity. erplexed My last boyfriend only went to church because I go to church.

How have you dealt with dating or marrying someone of a different faith or an atheist?

Also keep in mind that even if he is a Christian, you can still be unequally yoked. I grew up in church and this was constantly fed into my brain to make sure I didn't get "yoked up" w/someone who wasn't Christian, but as I've gotten older, I've learned there's a lot more to that yoking stuff and it doesn't just end w/both being Christian. You both be Christian but still not equally yoked if you have different belief systems, ways of doing things, different goals/aspirations and motivation (or lack thereof). I'm Christian, but I'm not Catholic and don't think I'd ever marry one (dated one or three though ) because while we're both considered Christian, our beliefs are VERY different. That comes down to doctrine which is a whole other can of worms.

I dated a Muslim for a while with the agreement to never discuss religion. This worked for a while. He even came to church w/me once-purely out of curiosity, I'm sure. He started teaching me Arabic and would ask me to read certain passages from the Qur'an for him then ask my opinion etc. It was interesting because we'd share info and look at it from a compare/contrast POV. Then he started to say things like "the brothers really like you, their only issue is that you're not Muslim/a." I'd tell him, same thing applies to him just in reverse. Had to cut losses when he tried to convert me and wanted to have children and stuff.I knew we'd never agree.

 

[Ms.Nigeria]

Gotta be catholic. If not its like moving mountain lol

 

[Divine Inspiration]

ITA w/ Janelle. It's time out for missionary dating and making excuses for grown men.

If he is not accountable to God, he will not be able to love me the way I need to be loved nor will he completely understand the sacrificial love necessary to be a covering.

Like Caramela mentioned, dating is one thing, but I stopped being in relationships with non-Christians long time ago. I believe that bad company corrupts good character and even though a man might be "nice", I need him to have some spiritual and moral conviction and ultimately be seeking God for how to live His life.

And Eisani spoke the truth too. I've dealt with more than a few of what I call psuedoChristians...folks who say they believe and attend church here and there but Monday through Saturday you would never guess they were Christian. I'm big on personal responsibility and discipline, so if he can't get himself together spiritually, that will likely lead to a whole host of other issues. I speak from experience.

I ask myself, "If being a Christian were a crime, would be there enough evidence to convict me?" The answer should be a resounding yes! And I ask myself the same question of a man who claims to be a man of God.

It's not about being holier than anybody but when it comes to the man I share my thoughts, feelings, and dreams with and heck, the man who might be my husband, I will judge ALL day. I guard my heart because it's the wellspring of life.

Bottom line: If he is not a man of God, no commitments of any sort. And if he is fakin' the funk, he'll be fed with a long-handled spoon.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

CountryGal:

I know I'm too young to really give you any advice, but hear me out:

I dated someone who hated god. He didn't understand why I was at such peace with life. He did some of everything to destroy that because he was too angry to see the truth. Don't date someone's who's not a Christian. They will only do their best to bring you down.

 

[drasgrl]

I couldn't date an atheist although I myself am not religious. I do believe in a higher power. I don't care what religion they are but I would like them to be open and not try to push their beliefs on me.

My first love is Catholic. I went to church with him a few times not because I wanted to but because he wanted me to so I went. I could accept his religion but I wouldn't have converted because I have my own beliefs. We never really talked about religion.

My bf now is pretty much the same as me as far as spirituality. He's not religious but he believes in a higher power. He used to go to church when he was younger but not now.

 

[Hairsofab]

I have the opposite issue. I'm an atheist/agnostic. I can't imagine dating someone who is a religious type even in the slightest. So it is very limiting.

 

[drasgrl]

How interesting, I learned many years ago that typically when one person is of one faith and the other of another, the kids grow up being nothing. It seems to have been accurate in your case.

OP. Have you found any men in church services?

That's interesting. I consider myself nothing. My mother is Christian my father was raised Catholic but converted to Islam before I was born. My father didn't insist on us converting. My parents worshiped in their own way and neither of them forced me to choose one or the other. I have my own spiritual beliefs but I don't follow any specific religion.

 

[Ms.Honey]

I married an atheist, didn't now it at the time. I was a Christian in name only so I never thought to ask.
We had been married a year and I told him I wanted to start rasing the kids in the church and he told me he didn't believe in God. I just stared at him waiting for him to say it was a joke,albeit a very tacky joke but he didn't Have you ever screamed in your mind? Well I did All I could do was stare at him and scream,"OH CRAP, OH CRAP, OH CRAP" (well it was actually the S word) over and over in my head It's funny now but at the time all I saw was this nig*a killing a chicken and trying to sacrifice my children to satan

He converted to Christianity 10 years later and I converted a year after that. He is a much easier, more pleasant person to live with. As an atheist he always had this chip on his shoulder with this underlying hatred and negativity. You can never fully trust a person like that. Oh and my dad was an atheist too, same symptoms. He converted a year after I did and his whole negative view on life and mankind changed. They both became wonderful, strong men.

Converted Christians who were once diehard atheists are stronger in their commitment to Jesus IMO than other Christians. I think it's because they were so hateful towards God and to go from no belief at all to total belief makes them unwilling to risk losing the relationship.

Oh and don't accept,"Yeah I believe in God" either. There are over 2,000 DOCUMENTED gods being worshipped on earth. Make sure he means Jesus
Converted atheist make the BEST Christians

 

[Eisani]

[
Oh and don't accept,"Yeah I believe in God" either. There are over 2,000 DOCUMENTED gods being worshipped on earth. Make sure he means Jesus
Converted atheist make the BEST Christians[/quote]

GIRL!! I be thinking "which god are you referring to?" all the time, especially when I see awards shows and stuff like that when they thank god during their acceptance speech. I'm using the lil g on purpose, BTW...

 

[Country gal]

I married an atheist, didn't now it at the time. I was a Christian in name only so I never thought to ask.
We had been married a year and I told him I wanted to start rasing the kids in the church and he told me he didn't believe in God. I just stared at him waiting for him to say it was a joke,albeit a very tacky joke but he didn't Have you ever screamed in your mind? Well I did All I could do was stare at him and scream,"OH CRAP, OH CRAP, OH CRAP" (well it was actually the S word) over and over in my head It's funny now but at the time all I saw was this nig*a killing a chicken and trying to sacrifice my children to satan

He converted to Christianity 10 years later and I converted a year after that. He is a much easier, more pleasant person to live with. As an atheist he always had this chip on his shoulder with this underlying hatred and negativity. You can never fully trust a person like that. Oh and my dad was an atheist too, same symptoms. He converted a year after I did and his whole negative view on life and mankind changed. They both became wonderful, strong men.

Converted Christians who were once diehard atheists are stronger in their commitment to Jesus IMO than other Christians. I think it's because they were so hateful towards God and to go from no belief at all to total belief makes them unwilling to risk losing the relationship.

Oh and don't accept,"Yeah I believe in God" either. There are over 2,000 DOCUMENTED gods being worshipped on earth. Make sure he means Jesus
Converted atheist make the BEST Christians

Very interesting post.

 

[Country gal]

Ladies you make interesting and valid points. I date to narrow down to the one. If you don't believe in God or the same God as me, it is an issue.

For me when I feel down and out, I prayer and I am optistimic because of my belief in God. I don't want to be with someone who belittles or laughs at me when I say I need to prayer over a situation.

 

[Ms.Honey]

[
Oh and don't accept,"Yeah I believe in God" either. There are over 2,000 DOCUMENTED gods being worshipped on earth. Make sure he means Jesus
Converted atheist make the BEST Christians

GIRL!! I be thinking "which god are you referring to?" all the time, especially when I see awards shows and stuff like that when they thank god during their acceptance speech. I'm using the lil g on purpose, BTW...

Hon, everybody before they truly convert have that "god". You know the one that understands and accepts all my crap because he, "Knows my heart"

My god was based on the real God and a whole lotta other folks gods too apparently I made Him schizo, sorry Lord He never expected for me to change my ways except for what I determined to be the "really bad stuff" but to just be as nice as possible and be a "good person" I really loved my made up god. He let me get away with murder. I was dying and thought I was doing good I'm glad I found out who the real God really was

 

[Lilakoi’s_Sister]

I prefer to date people that are spiritual and open minded about god. However, I cannot see myself involved with a hardcore Christian or Muslim that goes to church or temple regularly. We'd inevitably have problems especially when the kids come along because I wouldn't want that for them.