DH and Adult ADHD/ADD

[Country gal]

I can relate to some of these behaviors.

I have not been officially diagnosed, but I don't think I have it either lol. Although my SO and I joke around a lot that I might have it.

I HAVE to have a schedule/planner or nothing gets done, I carry it with me everywhere. I forget things so easily, so I also put it down (like EVERYTHING) in my planner. But sometimes I don't look in my planner so things still don't get done

I'm always loosing my key and wallet, so I put it on the mantle by my door. If it's anywhere else like my purse or a different room, I will not be able to find it. Because of that, I attached my key to my wallet so I only have to search for one thing . And I have to check periodically (especially when I'm at work) to confirm that it is still in my bag.

I can have a conversation with someone and I will not hear a word they say, at all. They can repeat it and sometimes I catch it, sometimes I don't lol. I'm trying to learn to stop that.

My SO (and a lot of people) think I'm selfish, I'm not sure why yet lol. I just think they don't understand me.

I have a lot of brain farts (as I create this list, I'm experiencing them erplexed).

At times, it feels like my mind is racing and it doesn't stop. It's like a gerbil in the spin wheel

I can have a conversation with someone about topic A, but some how I end up talking about topic J. My mind connects the dots in a warped-speed to make the connection between the topics.

I am the same way. I hate when someone is slow telling a story. I also have a bad happen of cutting off people because I am already done with the convo. My son has to have his kid on the door and a spare in his bookbag since he is know to misplace his stuff too.,

 

[Country gal]

@DivaDava...So I was talking with a favorite pharmacist of mine and we discussed a lil further...She was telling me because the drugs are so powerful/addictive that the dr.'s are supposed to try to utilize non-pharmacological measures first...the zinc and liver oil she said was fine...she said liver oil doesn't work also try omega-3 fish oil as well...

She said what gets her and other RPH is that the dr.'s won't try to do non-pharmacological meds first and just stick someone with medicine and keep increasing the meds until people are like zombies...She said those who are taking meds should also be weaned off once of year but that most dr.'s do the opposite...She also said that proper dieting cutting off alot not necessarily all sugar but most...(althewhile she was staring at my honeybun...dang had to throw it away!...lol) she also said include more fresh fruits, vegetables take out alot of the refined stuff...cut down on red meats and incorporate more fish and chicken....She also pointed out how much more people are eating out and grabbing junk food vs. cooking at home and she feels that it has alot more to do with triggering ADD/ADHD...so I literally cleaned out my freezer/fridge last night and gave at least 75% of the groceries that I had in there to my BFF and will be grocery shopping probably on Tuesday/Wednesday....I just ran and got some fresh spinach...some shrimp...some salmon and some fruits and cheeses. And yes...I am even throwing away my GINGERBREAD COOKIE ice cream...*faints* but I just can't give up my eggnog...*I tried*...

Food is a big part of it. My son's pyschlogist (sp) was always trying to up the dose. They were not offering alternative medicine. Once the school knows that your child has been diagnosed they try to get you to take the meds too. They looked at me like I was crazy when I said we were doing alternative forms of medicine. ALso there is a shake my son use to take which helped out a lot. ALso certain times of the day my son gets really hyped. It usually is in the early afternoon. I keep him in football to burn off the energy.


http://health.msn.com/health-topics/adhd/

 

[Country gal]

I will post some helpful articles and links since you asked about kids suffering from ADHD. Adults could learn from some of the tips.

Getting Your Child To Do Their Homework

I'm not so old that I can't remember how I stalled and
procrastinating on doing my homework too. After school I just
wanted to play. Doing my homework was the last thing on my mind.

When your child has ADHD and inattention issues, it can even be more
challenging. So other than fear and intimidation (smile) how do you
get your child to do there homework? Well here are some tips:

Consistency

Remember this word: Consistency. Getting things done at the same
time during the day will make it easier to yield consistent results
in homework. In fact, it is suggested that you have the child start
their homework immediately after school. By starting homework right
away, you maintain the mindset and structure of school in your
home. You also make it easier for them to keep the information they
learned during the day fresh in their mind.

Create a Homework Environment

It is strongly recommended that you create a study room in your
home. This room should be free of distractions such as television,
radio, phones or video games. Having this environment will help
your child to focus and work faster. Now what if you don't have a
room like this in your home? You can still use a relatively quiet
area or table. If that is not available, then ask your school if
they have any after school services.

Allow Your Child To Work Their Way

If your child is hyperactive, they may need to stand to work. And
thats OK in the home environment if that works well for them.
Remember, you're trying to get them to get their work done so being
flexible with how they do it will help.

So to recap:

1)Whenever possible, please keep daily activities scheduled at the
same time each day. Specifically do homework at the same time
everyday.

2)Also complete homework right after school taking advantage of the
mindset of the school day.

3)Try to arrange a room that is free of distractions like
television or games.

4)If you don't have a free room check with your school and see if
they have after school services.

5)If necessary allow your child to stand if they work better that
way.

If you want additional help with homework because your child
experiences any of these problems:


- Needs constant supervision and reminders to get it done.
- Requires tutoring or further academic instruction
- Writes the wrong assignment down.
- Fails to write the assignment down.
- Forgets to bring assignment home.
- Forgets to bring notes home about homework.
- Forgets to bring related resources, such as books, atlas, etc.
- Takes hours to do homework.
- Argues about doing homework.
- Forgets to get homework assignments signed.
- Forgets homework at home.
- Lies about doing homework.

Try the Stress Free ADHD Parenting System to help with any of the
above issues.

http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=C0fLy&m=1bRMcChFTnFMR5&b=4nhr4vv.20VbhkClJ_P.dA <--click for more info

Kindest Regards,


Ernest

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

I am the same way. I hate when someone is slow telling a story. I also have a bad happen of cutting off people because I am already done with the convo. My son has to have his kid on the door and a spare in his bookbag since he is know to misplace his stuff too.,

@Bolded...I have such a bad habit with this that I just come off rude...but to me in my mind I've become so good with body language/tone/temperament/reading between the lines that when someone is telling me a story I cut them off because w/in 3-4 lines I can tell where the story is going...how the party feels...and what I have to say in response because my mind has just raced that fast and put it all together for me...I have a love/hate relationship with this trait because its frustrating to me not to be able to sit down and listen to a story but I love it because it keeps people out of my face with unnecessary garbage!

 

[Country gal]

ADD video click
http://news.globaltv.com/Loving/2009300/story.html

Canadian comedy legend Patrick McKenna is after the truth. “Everything you think you know about A.D.D. is wrong.” In this one hour documentary he talks to researchers, specialists and doctors about A.D.D. and A.D.H.D.. He also chats with ordinary Canadians & Americans who are directly dealing with the challenges of this common problem. Interwoven with these insights, Patrick shares his own life story and his struggle with undiagnosed and untreated A.D.H.D, and now his success taking it on Adult A.D.D..


Patrick is astonished at the amount of scientific research, including breakthroughs in identifying the genes involved. He also learns that most people who think they are A.D.D. are not--many other conditions can look like A.D.D.. About 1 in 25 adults actually have the disorder. But less than half of those people are getting the diagnosis. Even Patrick realizes that moments in his life that he thought were depression were in fact frustration and overwhelm from undiagnosed A.D.D..


Though the suffering is real, Patrick is interested in the good news. When A.D.D. is diagnosed and treated, life can become very sweet. A liability can become an asset. As one expert explains, “This is not a diagnosis to fear. This is a diagnosis to understand and embrace.”


As the excitement of discovery starts to overwhelm Patrick he covers a wall with gigantic Post-Its, listen every question you ever wanted to know about A.D.D. but were afraid to ask. Then in machine-gun staccato, nine top experts provide the answers. The program amuses and amazes us by actually presenting the facts—what we know for sure.

We hear from the people who have it, and the medical professionals who deal with it every day. The program is constantly surprising. As Doctor Stephen Kurtz admits, “Everything I was taught to do in Graduate School to deal with A.D.H.D., I would now consider to be malpractice.” Diagnosing and treating A.D.H.D. is evolving quickly. Patrick makes it clear, the key is education.


There’s plenty of comedy as Patrick’s wife Janis takes him through a slew of the most reliable tests for A.D.D.. They can’t stop laughing in recognition, and Patrick giggles, “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Janis admits, “I didn’t know it would be this much fun!”


But Patrick McKenna is also a talented and award winning dramatic actor, and he takes us back to his public school to reveal the dark side, peeling back the layers of a very difficult childhood. Talking about the struggles at school, in his career, and as a parent, exposes a pain that Janis admits, “We spent our whole lives trying to cover up.”


Along the way Patrick dramatizes the different aspects of A.D.H.D.. He is learning that this is far more complex than just being ‘easily distracted.’ There are challenges with Impulsivity and Hyperactivity. Patrick and director Rick Green lead us through a lively romp about the symptoms of adult A.D.D. But then Patrick learns the five keys to turning A.D.D. from a hidden handicap that sabotages your life to an ally that allows you to soar.


Patrick laughs at the lies, busts the myths, and finally takes on the most controversial aspect of A.D.D., medication!!! Again, prepare to be shocked. Everything you have heard about Ritalin is wrong. Patrick is stunned to learn that for over 75% of people who try medication the results are overwhelmingly positive and life transforming. One successful author and life coach reveals that for her, “Medication was a spiritual awakening.” Patrick concludes, “I’ve realized everything I thought I knew about medication was told to me by people who had no idea themselves.”


At the end of his journey Patrick concludes, “It’s hard to love A.D.D.. But you can

have A.D.D. and love life.”



Read it on Global News: ADD & Loving It

 

[Country gal]

The video link I posted is really interesting

signs of adults with ADD

Impatient
forgetful
Time management and organization
restless (remember I can't sit still and they mention even in sleep)
overtalkative and interrupts
inattentive
anger
anxiety and depression
addictions
divorce
bankruptcy
accidents
impulsive

 

[CarefreeinChicago]

I was just telling my mother about this at first she seemed a little definsive.. I have to print some of this out to show her.

 

[GreenD]

@DivaDava...So I was talking with a favorite pharmacist of mine and we discussed a lil further...She was telling me because the drugs are so powerful/addictive that the dr.'s are supposed to try to utilize non-pharmacological measures first...the zinc and liver oil she said was fine...she said liver oil doesn't work also try omega-3 fish oil as well...

She said what gets her and other RPH is that the dr.'s won't try to do non-pharmacological meds first and just stick someone with medicine and keep increasing the meds until people are like zombies...She said those who are taking meds should also be weaned off once of year but that most dr.'s do the opposite...She also said that proper dieting cutting off alot not necessarily all sugar but most...(althewhile she was staring at my honeybun...dang had to throw it away!...lol) she also said include more fresh fruits, vegetables take out alot of the refined stuff...cut down on red meats and incorporate more fish and chicken....She also pointed out how much more people are eating out and grabbing junk food vs. cooking at home and she feels that it has alot more to do with triggering ADD/ADHD...so I literally cleaned out my freezer/fridge last night and gave at least 75% of the groceries that I had in there to my BFF and will be grocery shopping probably on Tuesday/Wednesday....I just ran and got some fresh spinach...some shrimp...some salmon and some fruits and cheeses. And yes...I am even throwing away my GINGERBREAD COOKIE ice cream...*faints* but I just can't give up my eggnog...*I tried*...

LOL, thanks so much for the information, and little indulgences are allowable!! You deserve it (at least that's how I rationalize a lot of things). But I see from what you stated we're pretty much on the right track. I don't buy beef and pork, but when he's at work he'll pick up a burger or pepperoni pizza, so that's something we'll need to work on. We both love seafood, fruits and veggies so I'm thrilled to know we're good there. Now the sugar is a bit of a tough one. He likes to get Now and Laters, gummi bears, Turtles, etc. every so often, usually when he's at work. But I can definitely control what's in the house. Oddly he can eat fish and greens all day every day, as he's not big on starches.

Short story, last Sunday I made fried tilapia and green been casserole. There were 8 pieces of fish. I only had 2 pieces between 3 days. He punished the rest in addition to pretty much all of the green bean casserole. It's usually the same when I fix salmon and greens. I only get one serving. erplexed So I guess his body knows what it needs.

It looks like we just have to figure out a way where he avoids the bad things and eats the good stuff while at work. I guess I need to return to the idea of him taking his lunch. We both fell off of this because he'd usually forget his lunch. But that's something we'll both work on.

Thanks so much, now I need to go make a grocery list.

 

[GreenD]

I was just telling my mother about this at first she seemed a little definsive.. I have to print some of this out to show her.

Do you think your mother has ADHD/ADD or were you trying to tell her about yourself?

 

[GreenD]

It is really irritating regarding the special education program for kids with ADHD. Now ADHD is the umbrella term for ADD and the other behaviors associated with it. SInce my son was not failing all of his classes and he is on grade level, they would not put him in a special education program. He is in a regular classroom and can keep up. He currently is on the honor roll. My son's issue is more with his tests. He does not score very well on the state test. He wants to rush through the answers and it really lowers his score.

The 504 plan is in place so that he can have certain allowances in class. Sometimes with ADHD children they forget stuff so my son stays organized by keepin extra supplies in each classroom. It sounds simple enough but you would be amazed how a simple situation like needing a pencil or paper in class could escalate to him being sent to the office. Also if the teacher notices he is a little off than he can have an emergency pass to the guidance office to diffuse the situation. My son is impulsive so something could of happened in the lunch room and by the time he goes back to class, he hasn't let it go. He can't drop things. So he tends to bring the issue into class. He was being sent to the office and I had that turned around so he could be sent to the guidance so he could calm down and redirect his attention again.

I am very happy to help. I had to learn as much as possible for my son. There are also websites dedicated to ADHD.

Yeah I read that most people with ADHD are really intelligent/creative, and it sounds like he has a great teacher!! That's great that there are so many options for him in school. So did you tell the teacher beforehand of your son having ADD, so she knew what to do in certain situations? Have you had problems with teachers in the past?

 

[CarefreeinChicago]

Do you think your mother has ADHD/ADD or were you trying to tell her about yourself?

about myself she is a card carrying member of nothing is wrong with you unless your bleeding club. In 2004 I took wellbutrin sr and I just rember being able to think very clearly on it.

 

[GreenD]

about myself she is a card carrying member of nothing is wrong with you unless your bleeding club. In 2004 I took wellbutrin sr and I just rember being able to think very clearly on it.

Oh okay, maybe in time she'll come to realize what you've been going through. So I take she wouldn't support you going to therapy? I think that's how DH's mom would be. She'd probably brush me off as if I don't know what I'm talking about. DH will have to tell her if he deems it necessary.

But some people just aren't ready to hear things when you tell so give her time. They like to see what they want to see. Is there anyone else that can be supportive of you?

 

[Country gal]

Yeah I read that most people with ADHD are really intelligent/creative, and it sounds like he has a great teacher!! That's great that there are so many options for him in school. So did you tell the teacher beforehand of your son having ADD, so she knew what to do in certain situations? Have you had problems with teachers in the past?

I meet with the teachers every year to discuss his 504 Plan. Some times I had to battle it out with teachers because they feel it is an excuse.

 

[ackee walk]

BUMPING this old thread to see if anyone has more info and/or experiences to share.

thank you so much for this thread OP. this thread and the posted articles have been super helpful. my SO has ADHD. i'm beginning to better understand why he does the things that he does and says the things that he says. it's been the source of a few arguments. he's managing it with adderall but there are still issues-- communication issues, forgetfulness issues, etc. it's been very hard. off to do more research...

 

[luthiengirlie]

erplexedI have ADHD myself and I am a 23 year old college student.. I have had this since I was a child and it's carried into my adulthood. It is such a struggle. It's like knowing what you need to do but you can't do it no matter how much you try. it is not being able to finish stuff. It is strugglign with stress if I have made it every semester. I am searching after solutions that can help me MANAGE my life. It's not being lazy or intentionally forgetful and it's hard to deal with that when people think yo are doing that. SO I am looking for any help in anyway that can change my life. This is a bit of my story

Hey ladies, I just came to the realization that my hubby may have Adult ADHD. Before we got engaged I noticed a couple of indicators, but we often joked about him having it, and didn't think much of it. Until one day I Googled it and read the symptons and forwarded them to him, and he was really quiet and said, "I'm a text book (case)". Because it wasn't as apparent then as it is now (we weren't living together) I had no idea how obvious the signs (thought subtle) were until now.

Fast forward 4 years to today. I Googled adult ADHD and it's freaky how people have described my hubby to a "T". While I couldn't accept that he was just heartless and didn't care, I'm happy to know this may be a reason for his actions, and I really want to help him and us through this. I just hope I can convince him to follow through and see the therapist and really work together to improve his quality of life as well as mine.

Here's a few articles (sorry kinda long) that may give you a better idea of what I'm dealing with. Many aspects described is my life verbatim, which I hope can explain the reasoning of some of my posts. I hope this can help you all as well if you're in a similar situation. Please feel free to post if you've experienced this or are in a similar situation.

http://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/default.htm

http://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/adult-adhd-your-relationships

http://www.adhdmarriage.com/content/feeling-ignored-non-adhd-spouse-dilemna Summary of my life with DH.

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1593.html

http://add.about.com/od/livingwithadhd/a/spouse.htm

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1030.html

 

[GreenD]

erplexedI have ADHD myself and I am a 23 year old college student.. I have had this since I was a child and it's carried into my adulthood. It is such a struggle. It's like knowing what you need to do but you can't do it no matter how much you try. it is not being able to finish stuff. It is strugglign with stress if I have made it every semester. I am searching after solutions that can help me MANAGE my life. It's not being lazy or intentionally forgetful and it's hard to deal with that when people think yo are doing that. SO I am looking for any help in anyway that can change my life. This is a bit of my story

Can you go to a facility on campus that can assist you? Maybe you could look into taking vitamins, as I've read that some symptons are because of a vitamin deficiency. I hope these help you some!!

 

[luthiengirlie]

Can you go to a facility on campus that can assist you? Maybe you could look into taking vitamins, as I've read that some symptons are because of a vitamin deficiency. I hope these help you some!!

don't know if it would HELP but i will definetly look into the vitamin deficiency though. I know they have a college campus that specifically adheres to helping students with ADHD somwhere

 

[rafikichick92]

You know, this is so my BF. Especially with the forgetfulness and always having to do anything. He also zones out when you are talking to him. You can tell him to do something and he will say OK, OK, and then at the end have no idea of what went on. He's never been officially diagnosed, but told me that he was put on ritalin as a child, but it didn't do anything for him so they took him off of it. I think his was caused by lack of structure as a kid (all his life, really) among other things when he was a teen.

I could totally relate to the lady who called her husband "reliably unreliable" because that's how I feel. I cope by not expecting anything of him, but that gets frustrating sometimes. He is very creative, though, which is cool to watch in action.

Anyway, great thread, OP!

 

[Kyree]

I really think i have it, i started researching it because i think my son has it. Then i checked the adult symptoms and i was omg thats just me. Losing thing, forgetfulness, paying attention to detail, poor organisational skills,continually starting new tasks before finishing old ones, difficulty keeping quiet and speaking out of turn.

 

[luthiengirlie]

This is not an easy thing to deal with. Its getting to the POINT where I don't even wanna date anybody because I'm feeling like I'm constantly critizied with the men in my family. I sure as HECK don't wanna deal it in a marriage or relationship too. I LOVE the idea of really falling in love with someone who accepts ALL of me ADHD, Deafness and all. But I don't think I wanna date be in a relationship with this point if constant critisim is something I'm having to put up with due to my ADHD.

I really think i have it, i started researching it because i think my son has it. Then i checked the adult symptoms and i was omg thats just me. Losing thing, forgetfulness, paying attention to detail, poor organisational skills,continually starting new tasks before finishing old ones, difficulty keeping quiet and speaking out of turn.

 

[GreenD]

don't know if it would HELP but i will definetly look into the vitamin deficiency though. I know they have a college campus that specifically adheres to helping students with ADHD somwhere

LOL, no I didn't mean a "special" college campus per se, just like a counseling center on campus that can support you and assist you with any obstacles you're having. Does your ADHD intefere with your school work? I'm tring to think of some resources that are close to you, and not expensive that would be beneficial to you.

Have you ever gotten help from a therapist for your ADHD? If so, what suggestions did they offer you? What are somethings you can do to make your life manageable/easier for you? What can others do to assist you?

I'm definitely not a therapist or anything like that, but I'm trying to think about DH and how we got to where we are now and offer some suggestions.

 

[GreenD]

This is not an easy thing to deal with. Its getting to the POINT where I don't even wanna date anybody because I'm feeling like I'm constantly critizied with the men in my family. I sure as HECK don't wanna deal it in a marriage or relationship too. I LOVE the idea of really falling in love with someone who accepts ALL of me ADHD, Deafness and all. But I don't think I wanna date be in a relationship with this point if constant critisim is something I'm having to put up with due to my ADHD.

Definitely don't get discouraged, as you will fall in love with someone who completely understands you and loves you just for who you are. When it's all said and done I love my DH for who he is, past all of his shortcomings. I know his heart and that alone outweights EVERYTHING else. But at least you know what's going on and if you're comfortable you can state that to the guy(s) you date if you're ready to take your relationship further. Remember, NO ONE's perfect!! If you both know what's going on ahead of time, you can better prepare for it together. I mean I went through it with DH, but we have a system that works now and we're on cloud 9!!

It just takes some understanding and acceptance on both parts and together you can work through the small stuff. I've completely changed how I view all of this and have accepted that this is "our norm", and it just works for us!!

 

[GreenD]

I really think i have it, i started researching it because i think my son has it. Then i checked the adult symptoms and i was omg thats just me. Losing thing, forgetfulness, paying attention to detail, poor organisational skills,continually starting new tasks before finishing old ones, difficulty keeping quiet and speaking out of turn.

You should definitely get him checked and be sure to mention your symptoms as well. Does your son have a lot of the same symptoms as yourself? How old is he?

 

[luthiengirlie]

I'm thinking of doing that. I'm willing to try ADHD coaching, therapy and the ADHD patch. I am just at the end of my rope honestly. And constant critisim is not helping either.

LOL, no I didn't mean a "special" college campus per se, just like a counseling center on campus that can support you and assist you with any obstacles you're having. Does your ADHD intefere with your school work? I'm tring to think of some resources that are close to you, and not expensive that would be beneficial to you.

Have you ever gotten help from a therapist for your ADHD? If so, what suggestions did they offer you? What are somethings you can do to make your life manageable/easier for you? What can others do to assist you?

I'm definitely not a therapist or anything like that, but I'm trying to think about DH and how got to where we are now and offer some suggestions.

 

[luthiengirlie]

I really pray you're right.
It is going to take someone strong and paitent and loving to deal with all this.
I think I am just worn out right now.

Definitely don't get discouraged, as you will fall in love with someone who completely understands you and loves you just for who you are. When it's all said and done I love my DH for who he is, past all of his shortcomings. I know his heart and that alone outweights EVERYTHING else. But at least you know what's going on and if you're comfortable you can state that to the guy(s) you date if you're ready to take your relationship further. Remember, NO ONE's perfect!! If you both know what's going on ahead of time, you can better prepare for it together. I mean I went through it with DH, but we have a system that works now and we're on cloud 9!!

It just takes some understanding and acceptance on both parts and together you can work through the small stuff. I've completely changed how I view all of this and have accepted that this is "our norm", and it just works for us!!

 

[GreenD]

I'm thinking of doing that. I'm willing to try ADHD coaching, therapy and the ADHD patch. I am just at the end of my rope honestly. And constant critisim is not helping either.

This is huge, because I honestly don't see how DH could even breathe without me complaining, and looking back I feel horrible!! However, he didn't know what was going on, and neither did I. He just knew that he wasn't doing anything on purpose and that he was trying not to forget what I told him. Had he and I both known what was going on the complaining definitely would've ceased.

Have you explained to the critics what's going on? I know you shouldn't have to tell everyone your personal business, but for those that you think may need to know have you told them, like your family and close friends? Are they supportive? Have you told them what you need from them to help you deal with this?

An ADHD coach sounds good, as you definitely need people around you to support you and help make your life a little better by not complaining. The more people understand you and what you're dealing with, the more supportive they'll be of your situation.

 

[luthiengirlie]

I have tried to explain esp with my grandfather. He is very old school. I have tried to explain and he thinks its another "excuse" like I use my deafness as an "excuse". He aint tryna hear it. I understand that my behavior looks like laziness and not giving a horse dung. But its like I am 23 friggin years old. Can't you not say one NEGATIVE thing for one FRIGGIN day? No complaining no nothing. Ahh no but he can't.

This is huge, because I honestly don't see how DH could even breathe without me complaining, and looking back I feel horrible!! However, he didn't know what was going on, and neither did I. He just knew that he wasn't doing anything on purpose and that he was trying not to forget what I told him. Had he and I both known what was going on the complaining definitely would've ceased.

Have you explained to the critics what's going on? I know you shouldn't have to tell everyone your personal business, but for those that you think may need to know have you told them, like your family and close friends? Are they supportive? Have you told them what you need from them to help you deal with this?

An ADHD coach sounds good, as you definitely need people around you to support you and help make your life a little better by not complaining. The more people understand you and what you're dealing with, the more supportive they'll be of your situation.

 

[GreenD]

I really pray you're right.
It is going to take someone strong and paitent and loving to deal with all this.
I think I am just worn out right now.

LOL, girl I think we've all been worn out!!! Trust me I got issues too, and I often question DH for still wanting to be with me, love me and ignore my foolishness. But that's love my dear!!! The one for you will work through whatever issues you have because they're trivial and small. Who you are as a person, your character and your heart is what matters most, and the lucky guy will see that. Just remember, that not every man is worthy enough to see it, so don't get frustrated because they don't. For some you'll be happy they don't see it too!! The right one will and that's all that matters.

Keep in mind that although you know your imperfections, at least you know!! A lot of people don't know and they continue to go through life trying to figure it out. You gotta see the good out of this honey!!! Just work on understanding you and knowing what works and what doesn't. That way when Mr. Right comes along you just need to tell him. I wish my DH would've told/warned me that I have to continuously tell/remind him to do something because he'll forget, as that would've avoided A LOT of arguements. Or that he needs lists, or for things to always be in a certain place so he can remember it. All in all, I love him tons more now because of his faults. In a weird way it brings us closer, because I know how he thinks and operates a little better, and I love him completely!!

 

[luthiengirlie]

LOL, girl I think we've all been worn out!!! Trust me I got issues too, and I often question DH for still wanting to be with me, love me and ignore my foolishness. But that's love my dear!!! The one for you will work through whatever issues you have because they're trivial and small. Who you are as a person, your character and your heart is what matters most, and the lucky guy will see that. Just remember, that not every man is worthy enough to see it, so don't get frustrated because they don't. For some you'll be happy they don't see it too!! The right one will and that's all that matters.

Keep in mind that although you know your imperfections, at least you know!! A lot of people don't know and they continue to go through life trying to figure it out. You gotta see the good out of this honey!!! Just work on understanding you and knowing what works and what doesn't. That way when Mr. Right comes along you just need to tell him. I wish my DH would've told/warned me that I have to continuously tell/remind him to do something because he'll forget, as that would've avoided A LOT of arguements. Or that he needs lists, or for things to always be in a certain place so he can remember it. All in all, I love him tons more now because of his faults. In a weird way it brings us closer, because I know how he thinks and operates a little better, and I love him completely!!

And Maybe there is a reason why I am trying to figure out all this now. So if I can get all this under control. It'll help me tremendously with career, relationships, love, house. I guess this is what they call "growing" pains.

 

[GreenD]

I have tried to explain esp with my grandfather. He is very old school. I have tried to explain and he thinks its another "excuse" like I use my deafness as an "excuse". He aint tryna hear it. I understand that my behavior looks like laziness and not giving a horse dung. But its like I am 23 friggin years old. Can't you not say one NEGATIVE thing for one FRIGGIN day? No complaining no nothing. Ahh no but he can't.

LOL, you're going to have to learn the art of tuning people out, especially those that aren't encouraging or supporting you. But I definitely understand where you're coming from. Take all the complaining and use it for your good...prove him wrong a few times. Get some straights A's and see what he says!! How is he saying your lazy if you're college? Are you working as well?