Deceived By A Weave!!!

[Ishtar]

I have a family friend who I recently came in contact to and I could not get over her hair. It was just so vibrant and glossy falling slightly below brastrap length. So I just had to comment on how beautiful it was and how healthy looking it was. A short time later we had another conversation about hair and she told me that she was natural and had been for about two years. So of course I was interested in her natural texture. She told me that over time her hair had gotten straighter but would still curls.

Maybe after several months went by we went swimming and one of the kids splashed some water on her hair. I saw water get onto her hair but her hair didn't revert at all. Matter of fact it looked as straight as ever. Her hair didn't even acknowledge the water.Later one of her kids told me that she wears tracks in certain spots of her head. I didn't really care that it wasn't real but I didn't understand why she didn't say she wore weave pieces. Her hair is obviously long though she wears tracks. It may not be as long as the tracks but I just didn't get it. Anyway when I never see her and her hair is newly styled I don't comment that I know it's not all hers. I just smile and let her enjoy her sunshine.

 

[LittleLuxe]

I. I just smile and let her enjoy her sunshine.

That is genuinely nice of you, lol. I wonder if I'd do the same...

In any case a head of healthy hair is lovely at any length, no need to rep hair that isn't yours (unless you two aren't close, I've done that better just because I don't enjoy weave discussions with folks I barely know).

 

[Ishtar]

We do know each other pretty well. That's why I wondered why she didn't just tell the truth but so many people are sensitive.

 

[Carisa]

In any case a head of healthy hair is lovely at any length, no need to rep hair that isn't yours (unless you two aren't close, I've done that better just because I don't enjoy weave discussions with folks I barely know).

My thoughts exactly!

 

[Ediese]

If she only has clip in or a couple tracks, I don't see what the big deal is though. She might be wearing it for more volume, and not necessarily for length. I'm wearing a couple clipins for the same reason, and I won't go around announcing that I'm wearing 'weave'. Idk..it's not a full head of weave, so I don't think of it the same. If I took them out, my hair would be the same length..it just wouldn't be as thick. No biggie. No intentional deception.

 

[Makenzie]

We do know each other pretty well. That's why I wondered why she didn't just tell the truth but so many people are sensitive.

I'm not understanding how she lied to you. You complimented her hair and she said thank you. Why was it necessary for her to tell you about the weave pieces? They are pieces, not a full weave or a wig. And besides, you were looking at the her hair from her scalp as well as the pieces.

 

[MsLizziA]

I like pie

 

[Ishtar]

LOL. Their not clip ins. Tracks sewn in certain places. He hair is very layered ( I guess that makes it really believable because it's her hair but then it's not). So it's probably there for thickness as well as length but she's got the best weave I've seen. Some parts shoulder length, armpit, and brastrap.

I'm one of those people who think not telling the whole truth is a lie. Basically leading someone on. If she'd said " Girl, I got some extensions in here." I would have told her that her hair still looked nice.

 

[Makenzie]

LOL. Their not clip ins. Tracks sewn in certain places. He hair is very layered ( I guess that makes it really believable because it's her hair but then it's not). So it's probably there for thickness as well as length but she's got the best weave I've seen. Some parts shoulder length, armpit, and brastrap.

I'm one of those people who think not telling the whole truth is a lie. Basically leading someone on. If she'd said " Girl, I got some extensions in here." I would have told her that her hair still looked nice.

I think I see what you're saying. I don't see it as a lie that she chose to keep her business to herself. I'm not looking for loopholes, but it really is her hair and her business if she wants to include you in on it.

 

[LittleLuxe]

Ishtar - btw I like YGO and Isis as well, good show...I do miss it.

Yeah I can see how that would be a little puzzling. if you're close then she should know you're not going to judge or trash her about having some pieces sewn in, not disclosing it isn't a crime just a little weird.

I have a totally different policy with strangers but when it comes to close friends I figure sharing is caring (they're going to know when the weave comes down anyway right? ). I had a friend once compliment my hair for my 16th birthday and I proudly said "Just call me Weavy Wonder."

 

[Kurlee]

I think the problem is is that when you wear a weave or even one track to achieve a style or colour, once you admit that people think you ALWAYS have a weave. So when you rock your own hAIR and it's healthy and long and full, people tend to discount you and just say it's a weave. I think because there is such a negative attitude about black women and their hair, that the women who DO have long hair, don't want to announce that sometimes they may have a track or two, because it just perpetuates/reinforces the whole, black girls don't have long/nice hair unless it's a weave or they are "mixed" and encourages more ignorant questions. Just the fact that people assume or want to know shows that the mindset or idea is already there.

I wear weaves sometimes as protective styles. They are never full head and look exactly like my real hair. I don't announce it, because a) it's mostly my hair and b) I wear my own hair out so much that I would get annoyed with people always asking questions. I just don't understand why what's on other people's heads is such a big deal.

 

[Ishtar]

Though we did talk hair for a while and even protective styles that I've used to grow my hair from chin length to shoulder this does put it in perspective. Thank you.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

See.......i know a girl like that. I asked her what cornrow method did her stylish use, etc. I was interested in a new stylish at the time and wanted to know her method. Plus it was obvious she wore one cuz u could see da beedabees or as I like to callit, taco meat round da edges. Da chick looked at me with the deer in the headlights look on her face. Besides, were tight like that so i couldn't understand why she looked at me like that. Lololol


I mean the taco meat was dry and the weave was shiny.......da he'll outta hea .........

Kurlee......good point.

 

[sweetlaughter]

She might just be a private person so I wouldn't be offended if I were you. My question is though, she said she was natural and her hair didn't revert at all? Hmmm. With only some tracks sewn in you would have still seen a difference unless her hair is fried beyond belief.

 

[JJamiah]

^^^ Agreed coming from a semi private person I don't see the problem. People say my hair is nice. I don't feel I HAVE to say well this is a lace front. Friend, foe or stranger. Now if you ask me further questions about my hair like what color? 4/30

 

[gadgetdiva]

I have a family friend who I recently came in contact to and I could not get over her hair. It was just so vibrant and glossy falling slightly below brastrap length. So I just had to comment on how beautiful it was and how healthy looking it was. A short time later we had another conversation about hair and she told me that she was natural and had been for about two years. So of course I was interested in her natural texture. She told me that over time her hair had gotten straighter but would still curls.

Maybe after several months went by we went swimming and one of the kids splashed some water on her hair. I saw water get onto her hair but her hair didn't revert at all. Matter of fact it looked as straight as ever. Her hair didn't even acknowledge the water.Later one of her kids told me that she wears tracks in certain spots of her head. I didn't really care that it wasn't real but I didn't understand why she didn't say she wore weave pieces. Her hair is obviously long though she wears tracks. It may not be as long as the tracks but I just didn't get it. Anyway when I never see her and her hair is newly styled I don't comment that I know it's not all hers. I just smile and let her enjoy her sunshine.

I can understand where you felt like she deceived you or tried to anyway. It was unnecessary. If you all were cool it shouldn't have been an issue. But hey let her make it. There may be more to the story as far as her wearing her weave. After Chris Rock's Good Hair movie its not a secret any longer. I know too many women who rock a full head or tracks and they have no issue with divulging their info in 'girl talk'. But I guess different strokes for different folks.

 

[Ishtar]

She might just be a private person so I wouldn't be offended if I were you. My question is though, she said she was natural and her hair didn't revert at all? Hmmm. With only some tracks sewn in you would have still seen a difference unless her hair is fried beyond belief.

Dat's what I was thinking. The whole bottom portion of her hair did not curl, it got wet but didn't wave, get puffy, nothing. IDK if she was telling me the truth or she's a slow grower. But it didn't even react like relaxed hair and fluff up once it got dry.

 

[GodivaChocolate]

If she chooses not to talk about it I don't think you should be offended, some things are personal. It's her hair and she shouldn't have to disclose any information if she doesn't want to. I wouldn't be offended I would respect her privacy. I don't mean to sound mean but it's a bit presumptuous of you to expect her to disclose her personal information. I guess I don't get how you feel deceived..it's her hair and her business.

 

[Sistaslick]

Her hair didn't even acknowledge the water.

LOL! For some reason that made me LOL!

 

[CocoBunny]

I have a family friend who I recently came in contact to and I could not get over her hair. It was just so vibrant and glossy falling slightly below brastrap length. So I just had to comment on how beautiful it was and how healthy looking it was. A short time later we had another conversation about hair and she told me that she was natural and had been for about two years. So of course I was interested in her natural texture. She told me that over time her hair had gotten straighter but would still curls.

Maybe after several months went by we went swimming and one of the kids splashed some water on her hair. I saw water get onto her hair but her hair didn't revert at all. Matter of fact it looked as straight as ever. Her hair didn't even acknowledge the water.Later one of her kids told me that she wears tracks in certain spots of her head. I didn't really care that it wasn't real but I didn't understand why she didn't say she wore weave pieces. Her hair is obviously long though she wears tracks. It may not be as long as the tracks but I just didn't get it. Anyway when I never see her and her hair is newly styled I don't comment that I know it's not all hers. I just smile and let her enjoy her sunshine.

It's her hair growing from her scalp or not. She really doesn't owe you or anyone else an explanation.

 

[Kash]

We do know each other pretty well. That's why I wondered why she didn't just tell the truth but so many people are sensitive.

I would be disappointed too. Not that she is wearing fake hair, but disappointed in the fact that we're friends but she can't even be truthful about wearing fake hair.erplexed

 

[Chanteuse]

Hi OP,

I read your post and have a few points for you to consider.

There are some products on the market that prevent hair from reverting, even when it gets wet. The fact that it didn't revert is not conclusive evidence that it was weave.

Just because her kids said that she sometimes wears tracks doesn't mean that her hair on the particular occasion that you were complimenting and asking about it was weave. And even if it was, the information that she provided to you about her natural hair could all very be true. The fact that she wears weave "in certain spots on her head" doesn't negate her hair knowledge or experience.

Finally, I just don't think that her not volunteering that she (sometimes?) wears tracks is deceitful when it didn't specifically come up in your conversation. if you wanted to know if it was all hers then you could have just asked. JMHO

 

[Barbara]

I wouldn't worry about it. Some women who wear weaves don't like to divulge this information because of competition. They want others to believe it's their natural hair. Just keep doing what's healthy for your own hair.

If I see someone with nice hair, I don't even ask what is their regimen . . . because I already know what type of response I might get from them. Besides, I already have a regimen that works for me so I'm content.

I couldn't understand why a few women have stared at me so hard as if they were piercing me with their eyes. They were in a state of shock and disbelief! You should have seen the look on their faces.

One woman with MBL hair stared at me so hard. Then it dawned on me a few hours later after I arrived home; it was my hair. I normally wear it in protective styles most of the time; but one day, I decided to wear it down. I was under the impression that she's the only one entitled to have MBL hair.

 

[Janet']

OP,

I understand where you are coming from...then again, I can understand where she is coming from too. In the end, you did the right thing and let her have her sunshine!