D/s Relationships and Dynamics

[gloomgeisha]

This thread is for people involved in, considering becoming involved in, or whom have previously left D/s relationships where they have either been the submissive or the Dominant or "switches."

Lately the SO and I have considered looking into "the lifestyle" and, having done a few scenes in the bedroom, wish to extend this kind of relationship to our everyday lives.

For the women whom have been in this kind of relationship, or are in this kind of relationship currently- how did you ease into 24/7 from roleplay? As an African American, what has been the reception of you and your Dom/sub in the scene overall? How have you handled when there are guests? Is that when the relationship switches back to "vanilla?"

Are you "out" to friends and family or is it something between you and your local groups?

I look forward to hearing from experienced peers.

Experienced peers means that this should stop the comments of "Oh I could never do that" (when no one asked) what have you, blah blah blah.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

Interesting... so are you interested in being the D?
She's not on this board, but if nobody responds, I have a Domme friend you can speak to. She not only is a dominatrix, but she lives the D/s lifestyle.

 

[Cincysweetie]

I have never heard of this before! Interesting. I hope others with knowledge will reply cause now I'm curious!

 

[gloomgeisha]

Interesting... so are you interested in being the D?
She's not on this board, but if nobody responds, I have a Domme friend you can speak to. She not only is a dominatrix, but she lives the D/s lifestyle.

I'm personally a sub, so my SO would be the Dom. I'm sure he'd enjoy speaking with her as he is kind of green to the lifestyle but wants to explore it further.

So far we've been recommended a few books to get us started off, so we're working on those; but it's nice to talk to others and get a "real world" perspective.

 

[gloomgeisha]

I have never heard of this before! Interesting. I hope others with knowledge will reply cause now I'm curious!

I hope others chime in too, I know I can't be the only one who is a submissive or interested in a Dominant/submissive relationship.

There are so many levels of submission that to go into all of it here would probably frighten the heck out of many on the Relationship forum---even if it is just a different kind of relationship.

I can speak as a sub, that submission is something that is given willingly, an absolute trust in your dominant. I am at the beginning stages of my submission (though I've been submissive all my life, I'm now learning the etiquette and what to expect from a dominant partner) but there are some women whom are collared slaves- willing offering their bodies, minds, and souls to their Master regardless of their own will or desire. We haven't reached that point yet.

Here are some short articles outlining the differences between a sub and a slave;

Different Types of Submission in BDSM

A Slave is Not a Submissive


Considering "slave" is such a loaded word domestically and globally, it turns a lot of people off to here it-however a "slave" in BDSM has chosen to be a slave, enjoys her/his slavery, and in his/her mind finds joy mainly or ONLY in pleasing their Master/Mistress. It is hard for many people to understand and some will even become "arm-chair psychiatrists" to try to psychoanalyze why anyone would want a relationship based on such characteristics.

We're not sure if we want to take our relationship to that level yet if at all.

Hopefully pandora's box can remained closed for now- but maybe others will come forward.

 

[JustKiya]

Most interesting.... I'm - interested, and played on the outskirts before I was married, but I don't think DH would make a good Dom. *le sigh* Or, at least not for me.

 

[GlossMeUp]

I've always been curious about being a Dom. I can't wait to read further responses.