"Crush" Rehab

[SurferBabe]

I hate having crushes.

Honestly, I'm starting to feel like I'm too darn old to have these crushes anyway.

There are many reasons why I feel like crushes might be unhealthy for a woman. It's especially unhealthy for unattached women who are trying to enjoy their single lives. I would always embark on "singledom" with much enthusiasm and then I would start crushing on someone. Suddenly the optimism and confidence would slip away and I'd be back at square one--breaking all the rules. erplexed

For the single woman that is looking for love, crushes and unrequited "like" can take up so much of her time and effort that she misses out on a good thing.

I'm making a promise to myself that once I get over this crush, there will be no more. Of course there are no guarantees, but I'm trying to come up with some "rules" regarding how to deal with and avoid the dreaded crush and unrequited "like" problem.

So ladies, I'm needing you to drop some knowledge for the "serial crushers" of the world. How are you able to focus only on men who show interest in you? What are the best ways to detach emotionally from a crush? How do you stop yourself from becoming so emotionally attached in the first place?

Any other "crushaholics" out there?

 

[jeanghrey]

Yeah I just got a guy at my job outta my system, was crushing hard for like two years, picturing what our kids would look like and everything. I finally convinced myself he must be gay and moved on...have met two guys since...

 

[hopeful]

I didn't realize how many women had crushes until this board. I see it like this: if you don't express interest in me, I don't have an interest in you. To me it's just a big, fat, waste of time, like living in la la land, he could be a creep or married or really weird, idk but you should save your deep like for someone who you know for sure deeply likes you.

 

[JustifiablyMe]

I hate having crushes.

Honestly, I'm starting to feel like I'm too darn old to have these crushes anyway.

There are many reasons why I feel like crushes might be unhealthy for a woman. It's especially unhealthy for unattached women who are trying to enjoy their single lives. I would always embark on "singledom" with much enthusiasm and then I would start crushing on someone. Suddenly the optimism and confidence would slip away and I'd be back at square one--breaking all the rules. erplexed

For the single woman that is looking for love, crushes and unrequited "like" can take up so much of her time and effort that she misses out on a good thing.

I'm making a promise to myself that once I get over this crush, there will be no more. Of course there are no guarantees, but I'm trying to come up with some "rules" regarding how to deal with and avoid the dreaded crush and unrequited "like" problem.

So ladies, I'm needing you to drop some knowledge for the "serial crushers" of the world. How are you able to focus only on men who show interest in you? What are the best ways to detach emotionally from a crush? How do you stop yourself from becoming so emotionally attached in the first place?

Any other "crushaholics" out there?

The thing that saved me from my last crush is finally realizing "He's Just Not That Into You". Seriously, it doesn't take much to muster up a conversation. The majority of our communication is body language so chances are he's picked up the que you are interested. If that isn't enough for him to approach, then more than likely he's just not that interested which could be for multiple reasons: in a relationship, just got out of one, unethical e.g. a work relationship, etc.

I contemplated speaking first to get the ball rolling but then I thought, do I really want a man who can't even find it in himself to muster up a hello to me? And like others here have stated, which I believe is true, if you start off in the driver's seat, chances are you will find that to be the case throughout the relationship (if it even progresses to one) and you will never know just how interested he is or ever was because you will be doing all the work/pursuing. Not worth it, girl.

 

[Duchesse]

I've had some super super crazy crushes in my day.. Oh lord. I was crushing on this dude most recently from like july to november. He kept dangling this carrot like one day we would get together.. You know once I got over him and literally told him he was wasting my time and that I was through of the "what if" feeling...my calendar became overfilled with men who were sincerely interested in me..and not the other way around.

So I'm over crushing on grown arse men..

 

[ladysaraii]

I get crushes all the time. It can be really annoying, altho I tend to crush more on people I dont really know. I guess maybe its the mystery and fantasy that appeals to me. Or maybe I'm just strange

 

[SurferBabe]

I get crushes all the time. It can be really annoying, altho I tend to crush more on people I dont really know. I guess maybe its the mystery and fantasy that appeals to me. Or maybe I'm just strange

I think this is how it has always been for me. You can build that person up in your head to be the perfect mate--whereas in real life they have flaws like everyone else. Unfortunately it isn't fun and butterflies forever and it starts to hurt.

 

[Royalq]

ive never had a boyfriend but im always crushing on someone. They NEVER come and talk to me. More recently ive crushed on one guy, we're in a situation where i see him about twice a week. Ive been in this environment with him for 5 months and he's never said a word to me, not even acknowledge my existence. the crazy part is i dont even think he's cute, he's ugly to me but for some reason i keep looking at him. I think its cause ive never had a boyfriend that im just getting a little desperate and my heart is willing to crush on anybody.he's totally not my type. Im sure he has no interest in me because 5 months is a long time. This pattern with myself has repeated many times. like i said the guys i crush on never says anything to me. They usually either just dont notice me, have a girl, or go for my friend

 

[ladysaraii]

I think this is how it has always been for me. You can build that person up in your head to be the perfect mate--whereas in real life they have flaws like everyone else. Unfortunately it isn't fun and butterflies forever and it starts to hurt.

That is definitely my problem, which I've recently come to terms with so that when I decide to get back in the dating world, hopefully I can implement some strategies to counteract it.

 

[Angelinhell]

ive never had a boyfriend but im always crushing on someone. They NEVER come and talk to me. More recently ive crushed on one guy, we're in a situation where i see him about twice a week. Ive been in this environment with him for 5 months and he's never said a word to me, not even acknowledge my existence. the crazy part is i dont even think he's cute, he's ugly to me but for some reason i keep looking at him. I think its cause ive never had a boyfriend that im just getting a little desperate and my heart is willing to crush on anybody.he's totally not my type. Im sure he has no interest in me because 5 months is a long time. This pattern with myself has repeated many times. like i said the guys i crush on never says anything to me. They usually either just dont notice me, have a girl, or go for my friend

This is exactly my situation too. I stayed having crushes on plenty of dudes in highschool, whether they had a girlfriend or not. Some of tgem would approaxh me to proposition me for "other things", but I wasn't having that.

 

[tlbaby23]

This post made me feel a lot better because now i know that im not the only one who falls easily n crushes hard for men (that, yes, give no attentin back in return -___-) but now the question is how do i prevent this!! it just happens out of nowhere and it happens so fast! Before i can catch my breath im all caught up and YES it is EXTREMELY annoying!! Where do i sign up for rehab?? lol

seriously though? any tips? haha

 

[missjones]

I just started having a crush on somebody I knew in college. I actually had a crush on a different guy back then. I saw some random pic he put up on Facebook and all of a sudden I forgot this dude was kind of sexy as hell . I haven't seen or talked to him in years so I doubt I'll say anything. I was hoping this would pass soon but he made the mistake of liking a pic that I put up recently. Really dude?

 

[Keshieshimmer]

I maybe crush on like one guy a year.

I think this is how it has always been for me. You can build that person up in your head to be the perfect mate--whereas in real life they have flaws like everyone else.

I do this too!

The majority of our communication is body language so chances are he's picked up the que you are interested. If that isn't enough for him to approach, then more than likely he's just not that interested which could be for multiple reasons: in a relationship, just got out of one

This guy I just see at the gym but I am never really around him. But then again I am not approachable at all. I say that there is nothing wrong with a friendly smile maybe a Hello but if the dude doesn't smile back or avoids you then you know the crush is a wrap!

 

[nlamr2013]

whats crazy I only crush on guys who have interest in me, but 9.9/10 theyre really shy and dont approach me. And I for dang sure wont be approaching them. :/