Crispy Fried Chicken/In-the-Middle-of-a-Drought Type of Hair?

[Aireen]

I hope I don't offend anyone but I see this sometimes and it REALLY leaves me guessing. When doing errands, I see women and men with hair that looks like it will snap off at the slightest touch — dry, crackly, has a severe V or W shape, brittle, stiff to the point where even when it's smoothed down it still sticks out, and over all just crispy looking. It's actually so bad that I can never figure out if the person I'm staring at has relaxed or natural hair. (Although if I had to guess, I would lean towards relaxed.) The ends and edges are usually frayed and tattered with huge dandruff or "dry scalp" flakes. I can't tell if they used any product either because if they did, it looks almost as if the hair acted like a straw and just sucked up whatever was put on and is still dehydrated. Even in the subway, as the rush of the metro comes near, their hair is frozen in position. erplexed Ends are translucent and if the hair is pulled back, it looks like it was a battle to get it to hold in the ponytail.

So what do these people do or not do? Do they wash and condition their hair and how often? If they're relaxed, why continuously touch-up when the end result is severely below mediocre and the hair doesn't have the desired look? Do they not get trims? I hope I'm explaining myself well, I would really like to know what causes someone's hair to get to that awful state, wouldn't there be SOMETHING to signal a halt towards the path of utter hair destruction? Correct me if I'm wrong but it doesn't even look like the people I'm referring to try to take care of their hair in the least. I'm thinking that the hair would at least be responsive to the slightest bit of care at that point that it's enough to look like there isn't a severe drought happening. When I was seven, I used to think that people used a super strong but cheap $2 relaxer in their hair and left it in too long so it had a reverse effect. Anyway, can someone please enlighten me?

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

my friend buys the 2 for $5 supreme relaxers for she & her YOUNG daughters....relaxes and uses NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO conditioner (none in the box so she passes on it), THEN BLOW DRIES & flat irons religiously


nothing I can do or say changes it

(i did get to put a moisturizer on the 7 yr olds hair to flat iron once)

 

[pjbapb]

So what do these people do or not do? Do they wash and condition their hair and how often? If they're relaxed, why continuously touch-up when the end result is severely below mediocre and the hair doesn't have the desired look? Do they not get trims? I hope I'm explaining myself well, I would really like to know what causes someone's hair to get to that awful state, wouldn't there be SOMETHING to signal a halt towards the path of utter hair destruction? Correct me if I'm wrong but it doesn't even look like the people I'm referring to try to take care of their hair in the least. I'm thinking that the hair would at least be responsive to the slightest bit of care at that point that it's enough to look like there isn't a severe drought happening. When I was seven, I used to think that people used a super strong but cheap $2 relaxer in their hair and left it in too long so it had a reverse effect. Anyway, can someone please enlighten me?

@bolded-You must have seen me walking down the street at one point in my past! I know in my experience, I kept looking like that for two reasons...one because I was so frustrated that my hair behaved that way and I didn't know how to make it stop so I just stopped caring and figured this is what I am destined to look like. And 2 because when I did care enough to ask people, I was told that it was just my new growth and I needed to relax again. Other people's hair looked way better than mine so I assumed that they knew what they were talking about and I kept processing and processing. Mis-information is a KILLER!!!!

 

[Aireen]

my friend buys the 2 for $5 supreme relaxers for she & her YOUNG daughters....relaxes and uses NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO conditioner (none in the box so she passes on it), THEN BLOW DRIES & flat irons religiously


nothing I can do or say changes it

(i did get to put a moisturizer on the 7 yr olds hair to flat iron once)

^ My feelings towards that comment. How on earth is the hair supposed to defend itself against further damage after the breaking down of the bonds caused by the relaxer without conditioner? Sigh, I always feel bad for little ones that have damaged hair because with proper care their hair could be thriving — relaxed and especially natural. Good thing you slathered on that moisturizer, does the mother know though? She's not offended you did this?

ETA: Love the gangsta lean. After that controversial thread that backfired for the OP, I wanted to do a Lean Like a Cholo hair picture as well.

@bolded-You must have seen me walking down the street at one point in my past! I know in my experience, I kept looking like that for two reasons...one because I was so frustrated that my hair behaved that way and I didn't know how to make it stop so I just stopped caring and figured this is what I am destined to look like. And 2 because when I did care enough to ask people, I was told that it was just my new growth and I needed to relax again. Other people's hair looked way better than mine so I assumed that they knew what they were talking about and I kept processing and processing. Mis-information is a KILLER!!!!

Well thankfully you became informed and your hair looks beautiful now. I just can't help but stare when I see people's hair in a state, I'm always wondering, "So what's the hair story that has them walking around lookin' like a bucket of KFC?!"

ETA: Just in case you were wondering, I know what your hair looks like because I checked out the links in your siggy, again, beautiful hair!

 

[pjbapb]

Well thankfully you became informed and your hair looks beautiful now. I just can't help but stare when I see people's hair in a state, I'm always wondering, "So what's the hair story that has them walking around lookin' like a bucket of KFC?!"

ETA: Just in case you were wondering, I know what your hair looks like because I checked out the links in your siggy, again, beautiful hair!

Thanks for the compliment! I can't help but stare and wonder as well. Lately though, when I stare, my thoughts are weave or wig. LOL

 

[Aireen]

Thanks for the compliment! I can't help but stare and wonder as well. Lately though, when I stare, my thoughts are weave or wig. LOL

Ah that's a whole 'nother story. What I don't understand is, if your hair looks that way but you use wigs and weaves, why keep relaxing? erplexed Waste of money if you ask me even if you're using 2 for $5 relaxers.

 

[KurlyNinja]

List of things they do/dont do:

-relax every 4 weeks
-flat iron every day
-dye hair every time they relax
-dont use conditioner (because thats for white people... somebody seriously told me that one time )
-wash their hair once a month to keep a style
-dont trim because they want to keep their "length"
-oil sheen is their go-to moisturizer
-glue in tracks and rip them out
-Never Deep Condition...ever
-dont use the neutralizing shampoo in the correct manner after relaxing

I think I pretty much summed it up

 

[Solitude]

They may not know any better, it may not be that they are not trying.

It's like asking, "why does this person have all these breakouts?" "why does this person have this health problem?" "why are so many people broke and/or in debt?" "why is this person so uneducated?" "why does this person dress so badly?"

Someone may be looking at you and wondering why you aren't perfect.

 

[Detroit2Dallas]

my friend buys the 2 for $5 supreme relaxers for she & her YOUNG daughters....relaxes and uses NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO conditioner (none in the box so she passes on it), THEN BLOW DRIES & flat irons religiously


nothing I can do or say changes it

(i did get to put a moisturizer on the 7 yr olds hair to flat iron once)

@bolded, OMG that brings back memories, my girlfriend and I used to gather our money together, walk to the beauty supply store and buy these relaxers because it was a deal. We did this all the way through high school and I did our relaxers, cuts and styles. Supreme kept us fly . I gotta call her and bring this post up

 

[Detroit2Dallas]

They may not know any better, it may not be that they are not trying.

It's like asking, "why does this person have all these breakouts?" "why does this person have this health problem?" "why are so many people broke and/or in debt?" "why is this person so uneducated?" "why does this person dress so badly?"

Someone may be looking at you and wondering why you aren't perfect.

thanks is not enough. I sometimes think that women on lhcf think that they got it going completely on but in reality they may ONLY have fly hair. I really dont like post like these because it always seems to be "I'm better than them because MY hair is long and healthy" when they dont know what priorities those people have. Hair is not EVERYONES top priority especially in this economy. Just worry about your own self.

 

[SmileyNY]

It's simple. They don't take care of their hair. Mystery solved.

 

[LushLox]

I used to use a curling iron EVERY day, and then I wondered why my hair was constantly dry. My poor hair didn't stand a chance.

 

[mzteaze]

I used to use a curling iron EVERY day, and then I wondered why my hair was constantly dry. My poor hair didn't stand a chance.

This was me because I had limited hair styling experience and thought I was "keeping" my hair in between beauty appointments. So of course I was curling dirty, product caked hair and adding more product. Yeah, those were the days.

 

[Aireen]

They may not know any better, it may not be that they are not trying.

It's like asking, "why does this person have all these breakouts?" "why does this person have this health problem?" "why are so many people broke and/or in debt?" "why is this person so uneducated?" "why does this person dress so badly?"

Someone may be looking at you and wondering why you aren't perfect.

Hm, you bring up a good point about the acne, I didn't think of it this way. Someone may be doing all they think they can and just not getting results. I agree with the perfect thing too.

It's simple. They don't take care of their hair. Mystery solved.

Vague and that's obvious, I wanted to know specific practices.

thanks is not enough. I sometimes think that women on lhcf think that they got it going completely on but in reality they may ONLY have fly hair. I really dont like post like these because it always seems to be "I'm better than them because MY hair is long and healthy" when they dont know what priorities those people have. Hair is not EVERYONES top priority especially in this economy. Just worry about your own self.

I was really wondering if people would take this the wrong way. The title and description wasn't to mock these people but to be extremely descriptive because just saying their hair is "dry" isn't enough. I'm not the type to think I'm better because of anything whether it's hair, clothing, skin, whatever. There's no sense in me feeling that way, we're all human and my parents didn't raise me like that. Plus that would be foolish, we all go through things in life and I've made way too many mistakes in life to be perfect. That aside, I just really always wondered — since hair is kind of a big deal in the black community — why someone with relaxed or natural hair would put their hair through so much trauma as I have witnessed. tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT, pjbapb, and Miryoku explained it perfectly. Sometimes things aren't that deep to have a feeling of superiority over another person or "worry" but I'll admit there's enough caring to be a bit curious and want an answer. I'm only human, I don't focus on myself all day long (especially when I see something out of my norm), and I go through regular thought processes like any other human being.

- - - - - - - - -

ETA: I'm asking all of this because I've never been through the experience of what I expressed in my first post so it's all kind of foreign for me.

 

[Aireen]

List of things they do/dont do:

-relax every 4 weeks
-flat iron every day
-dye hair every time they relax
-dont use conditioner (because thats for white people... somebody seriously told me that one time )
-wash their hair once a month to keep a style
-dont trim because they want to keep their "length"
-oil sheen is their go-to moisturizer
-glue in tracks and rip them out
-Never Deep Condition...ever
-dont use the neutralizing shampoo in the correct manner after relaxing

I think I pretty much summed it up

Hm I wonder how they comb out tangles then? Wow and I thought the myth was drugstore conditioners were for whites, not ALL conditioners. I used to do the oil sheen thing when my grandma sent me some in a care package but that only lasted 3 washes before I realized it wasn't for me.

I used to use a curling iron EVERY day, and then I wondered why my hair was constantly dry. My poor hair didn't stand a chance.

This was me because I had limited hair styling experience and thought I was "keeping" my hair in between beauty appointments. So of course I was curling dirty, product caked hair and adding more product. Yeah, those were the days.

Oh wow everyday? Wouldn't it be straight from the previous day though or did you just want to get little creases from sleeping out?

 

[cia_garces]

I hope I don't offend anyone but I see this sometimes and it REALLY leaves me guessing. When doing errands, I see women and men with hair that looks like it will snap off at the slightest touch — dry, crackly, has a severe V or W shape, brittle, stiff to the point where even when it's smoothed down it still sticks out, and over all just crispy looking. It's actually so bad that I can never figure out if the person I'm staring at has relaxed or natural hair. (Although if I had to guess, I would lean towards relaxed.) The ends and edges are usually frayed and tattered with huge dandruff or "dry scalp" flakes. I can't tell if they used any product either because if they did, it looks almost as if the hair acted like a straw and just sucked up whatever was put on and is still dehydrated. Even in the subway, as the rush of the metro comes near, their hair is frozen in position. erplexed Ends are translucent and if the hair is pulled back, it looks like it was a battle to get it to hold in the ponytail.

So what do these people do or not do? Do they wash and condition their hair and how often? If they're relaxed, why continuously touch-up when the end result is severely below mediocre and the hair doesn't have the desired look? Do they not get trims? I hope I'm explaining myself well, I would really like to know what causes someone's hair to get to that awful state, wouldn't there be SOMETHING to signal a halt towards the path of utter hair destruction? Correct me if I'm wrong but it doesn't even look like the people I'm referring to try to take care of their hair in the least. I'm thinking that the hair would at least be responsive to the slightest bit of care at that point that it's enough to look like there isn't a severe drought happening. When I was seven, I used to think that people used a super strong but cheap $2 relaxer in their hair and left it in too long so it had a reverse effect. Anyway, can someone please enlighten me?

Yeah, there's a signal but *shrug* I mean how many people do you know keep doing the same ole' crazy things while all the while expecting a different result? I'm pretty sure a WHOOOOOOLE bunch. Honestly these people either 1) don't know better, i.e. keep doin' the same crazy things that don't work , 2) know there's something wrong but don't know how to fix it, 3) have tried to fix it with no avail, or 4) someone has tried to tell them what to do but they didn't stay on top of it. I have been ALL of these people in my lifetime. I can't tell you how many times my beautician told me to keep my hair moisturized!!! I would do it for one week then stop. Then wonder why my hair was crispy and dry all the time.

They may not know any better, it may not be that they are not trying.

It's like asking, "why does this person have all these breakouts?" "why does this person have this health problem?" "why are so many people broke and/or in debt?" "why is this person so uneducated?" "why does this person dress so badly?"

Someone may be looking at you and wondering why you aren't perfect.

Yep, yep!! That's what I say.

I'm pretty sure they are. When I'm waiting on someone at work and I see their account balance, I'm most likely thinking, "D@mn, girl. Why you always in the negative?" She's probably thinking, "D@mn, girl. Why your skin so dry?" I KEEPS me some hand lotion and face lotion at work!!!

thanks is not enough. I sometimes think that women on lhcf think that they got it going completely on but in reality they may ONLY have fly hair. I really dont like post like these because it always seems to be "I'm better than them because MY hair is long and healthy" when they dont know what priorities those people have. Hair is not EVERYONES top priority especially in this economy. Just worry about your own self.

I'm pretty sure there are ladies on here who are like that, but I can't say that I 100% conclusively have come across the ones who are. I don't think that's the case with Aireen b/c she prefaced the everything she said with her first couple of words. "I hope I don't offend anyone..."

I think, overall, there are two things in play: 1) a lot of times we forget how crazy lookin' we used to be before we found out about healthy hair practices in the midst of our dumbfoundedness (naw... it ain't a word, but just roll with it) and 2) the Salon Visit syndrome is somewhat in effect. If you don't know what the Salon Visit syndrome is, let me explain.

Everytime I would go get my hair done, I would shamefully walk in, hat pulled down, shades over my eyes, coat pulled up over my face like someone tryin' to go into the nasty video section of a movie store. But as SOON as I got my hair down, I would walk out like my dookie didn't stank and like I wasn't lookin' like a fried monkey mess that WHOLE week leadin' up to my salon visit. And to make things worse, I would have the nerve to see some poor sista on the street that SAME day, and have the nerve to think, "What's goin' on with YOUR hair?" And SHE was probably thinkin', "What is goin' on with ALL that dry skin on that girls face?"

 

[mzteaze]

LOL no I curled daily because I HATED using rollers at night which messed up the style AND because my relaxed hair (at that time even back then) was starting to thin so it didn't retain my curls from the previous day. I have ALWAYS had cotton ball soft hair.

Oh, forgot to mention it was also colored fully cuz I disliked my natural hair color.

 

[keelioness]

I noticed this at my son's game last night.. I was sitting in the bleachers watching the game and I couldn't help but noticed 90% of the school girls in the bleachers had hair that was fried ! and yes relaxed, overprocessed , broken off, transparent. The only little girl that stood out to me with nice hair..had no relaxer..she had thick lush Mwedzi hair in 2 cute puffs. When I was growing up in the um..80's...yes alot of us had relaxed hair but dangit it was in a pigtails most of the time.. and we did stretch our relaxers. Only relaxed every 3-4 months. ..Sorry for the long spiel but in a nutshell OP these bad hair habits are being learned too early

 

[cia_garces]

This was me because I had limited hair styling experience and thought I was "keeping" my hair in between beauty appointments. So of course I was curling dirty, product caked hair and adding more product. Yeah, those were the days.

That was me too. I didn't know NOTHIN' bout doin' hair. And I still kinda don't but I'm learning. There was this girl I went to school with who's hair I absolutely ADORED who's hair was about shoulder length just like mine but it stayed luscious looking. It wasn't until later that I found out that her mother was a stylist.

 

[Aireen]

Yeah, there's a signal but *shrug* I mean how many people do you know keep doing the same ole' crazy things while all the while expecting a different result? I'm pretty sure a WHOOOOOOLE bunch. Honestly these people either 1) don't know better, i.e. keep doin' the same crazy things that don't work , 2) know there's something wrong but don't know how to fix it, 3) have tried to fix it with no avail, or 4) someone has tried to tell them what to do but they didn't stay on top of it. I have been ALL of these people in my lifetime. I can't tell you how many times my beautician told me to keep my hair moisturized!!! I would do it for one week then stop. Then wonder why my hair was crispy and dry all the time.



Yep, yep!! That's what I say.

I'm pretty sure they are. When I'm waiting on someone at work and I see their account balance, I'm most likely thinking, "D@mn, girl. Why you always in the negative?" She's probably thinking, "D@mn, girl. Why your skin so dry?" I KEEPS me some hand lotion and face lotion at work!!!



I'm pretty sure there are ladies on here who are like that, but I can't say that I 100% conclusively have come across the ones who are. I don't think that's the case with Aireen b/c she prefaced the everything she said with her first couple of words. "I hope I don't offend anyone..."

I think, overall, there are two things in play: 1) a lot of times we forget how crazy lookin' we used to be before we found out about healthy hair practices in the midst of our dumbfoundedness (naw... it ain't a word, but just roll with it) and 2) the Salon Visit syndrome is somewhat in effect. If you don't know what the Salon Visit syndrome is, let me explain.

Everytime I would go get my hair done, I would shamefully walk in, hat pulled down, shades over my eyes, coat pulled up over my face like someone tryin' to go into the nasty video section of a movie store. But as SOON as I got my hair down, I would walk out like my dookie didn't stank and like I wasn't lookin' like a fried monkey mess that WHOLE week leadin' up to my salon visit. And to make things worse, I would have the nerve to see some poor sista on the street that SAME day, and have the nerve to think, "What's goin' on with YOUR hair?" And SHE was probably thinkin', "What is goin' on with ALL that dry skin on that girls face?"

I really like your sense of humour.

You're right, I didn't mean to offend anyone. Maybe the tone of what I wrote sounded a bit arrogant though but the intent wasn't there.

LOL, I remember when I first got a relaxer (out of my own free will) at around 10 I was shaking and bobbin' my head up and down the salon and mall left and right. My mum gave me a little tap and told me to stop acting foolish. She was right though because that day my hair was silky from the fancy conditioner the salon used and I felt on top of the world. I don't dare act that way now though.

 

[Aireen]

LOL no I curled daily because I HATED using rollers at night which messed up the style AND because my relaxed hair (at that time even back then) was starting to thin so it didn't retain my curls from the previous day. I have ALWAYS had cotton ball soft hair.

Oh, forgot to mention it was also colored fully cuz I disliked my natural hair color.

I don't know how to use rollers, they just get me so aggravated that I gave up so I get what you're saying.

I noticed this at my son's game last night.. I was sitting in the bleachers watching the game and I couldn't help but noticed 90% of the school girls in the bleachers had hair that was fried ! and yes relaxed, overprocessed , broken off, transparent. The only little girl that stood out to me with nice hair..had no relaxer..she had thick lush Mwedzi hair in 2 cute puffs. When I was growing up in the um..80's...yes alot of us had relaxed hair but dangit it was in a pigtails most of the time.. and we did stretch our relaxers. Only relaxed every 3-4 months. ..Sorry for the long spiel but in a nutshell OP these bad hair habits are being learned too early

I probably would've stared hard at the girl with the puffs — and at the girls with the overprocessed hair too — but more at the former, I love admiring healthy hair but I always get scared that someone might think weird thoughts so I try to be brief.

That was me too. I didn't know NOTHIN' bout doin' hair. And I still kinda don't but I'm learning. There was this girl I went to school with who's hair I absolutely ADORED who's hair was about shoulder length just like mine but it stayed luscious looking. It wasn't until later that I found out that her mother was a stylist.

Darn, I would've adored her hair too, I would be thinking "Wow she probably has access to all the worthy products to keep her hair in top shape." <- Sorry, my inner product junkie is talking.

 

[LushLox]

Yeah I also used the curling iron every day as I wanted curls and I didn't know better, I didn't realise there were safer ways to produce curls, well I did, I just couldn't be bothered. The irons were a quick and easy solution. Thankfully I'm quite good at roller setting now!

 

[Aireen]

Yeah I also used the curling iron every day as I wanted curls and I didn't know better, I didn't realise there were safer ways to produce curls, well I did, I just couldn't be bothered. The irons were a quick and easy solution. Thankfully I'm quite good at roller setting now!

Teach me your ways! Curlers are HELLA hard to sleep in for one.

 

[LushLox]

Teach me your ways! Curlers are HELLA hard to sleep in for one.

You know I've actually got to the point were sleeping in rollers doesn't bother me anymore. I just find a good position to rest my head and I'm cool for the night!

 

[Aireen]

You know I've actually got to the point were sleeping in rollers doesn't bother me anymore. I just find a good position to rest my head and I'm cool for the night!

Oh wow! I wish I had your skills!

 

[Poopiedo]

Some people are doing the best that they can with the resources and knowledge that they have. It may not be that they are totally neglecting their hair, they are trying to do it themselves and trying to figure it out as they go along. Maybe all they have is $2 dollars to get a "cheap" perm. Some may think if I overlap maybe I can get rid of this as you say "crispy fried chicken hair." I along with a lot of other people did questionable things to our hair in high school and in college but as I learned I did better. When you know better you do better. If everyone was fully knowledgeable about hair, these beauticians wouldn't be making so much money with people totally dependent upon them. Also these message boards would cease to exist. I'm still a work in progress so some who are farther along in their journey may look at my pics and say, why is her hair.....

In a way asking about "fried chicken hair" is like a rich person asking a poor person why are you broke when all you have to do is....

When we learn we grow.

 

[snugglez41685]

I would click the thanks button but this app doesn't have one. I don't thinks she is better than anbody. Its not that serious. Thanks for the humor!

Yeah, there's a signal but *shrug* I mean how many people do you know keep doing the same ole' crazy things while all the while expecting a different result? I'm pretty sure a WHOOOOOOLE bunch. Honestly these people either 1) don't know better, i.e. keep doin' the same crazy things that don't work , 2) know there's something wrong but don't know how to fix it, 3) have tried to fix it with no avail, or 4) someone has tried to tell them what to do but they didn't stay on top of it. I have been ALL of these people in my lifetime. I can't tell you how many times my beautician told me to keep my hair moisturized!!! I would do it for one week then stop. Then wonder why my hair was crispy and dry all the time.



Yep, yep!! That's what I say.

I'm pretty sure they are. When I'm waiting on someone at work and I see their account balance, I'm most likely thinking, "D@mn, girl. Why you always in the negative?" She's probably thinking, "D@mn, girl. Why your skin so dry?" I KEEPS me some hand lotion and face lotion at work!!!



I'm pretty sure there are ladies on here who are like that, but I can't say that I 100% conclusively have come across the ones who are. I don't think that's the case with Aireen b/c she prefaced the everything she said with her first couple of words. "I hope I don't offend anyone..."

I think, overall, there are two things in play: 1) a lot of times we forget how crazy lookin' we used to be before we found out about healthy hair practices in the midst of our dumbfoundedness (naw... it ain't a word, but just roll with it) and 2) the Salon Visit syndrome is somewhat in effect. If you don't know what the Salon Visit syndrome is, let me explain.

Everytime I would go get my hair done, I would shamefully walk in, hat pulled down, shades over my eyes, coat pulled up over my face like someone tryin' to go into the nasty video section of a movie store. But as SOON as I got my hair down, I would walk out like my dookie didn't stank and like I wasn't lookin' like a fried monkey mess that WHOLE week leadin' up to my salon visit. And to make things worse, I would have the nerve to see some poor sista on the street that SAME day, and have the nerve to think, "What's goin' on with YOUR hair?" And SHE was probably thinkin', "What is goin' on with ALL that dry skin on that girls face?"

Sent from my Vortex using Long Hair Care Forum App

 

[SmileyNY]

Vague and that's obvious, I wanted to know specific practices.

IMO, it's impossible to know what they are doing wrong if you don't ask them. There could be an endless number of things that they are doing wrong... Some of those things a lot of us probably did before starting our hair journeys. If you are in a position to help these people and offer valuable advice to them, then I apologize. Otherwise, this just turns into a "we're better than them because.." or a "They are dumb because..." type of thread. Like another poster said, while we're judging them for their hair, they could be judging others for different reasons. There's always a reason to judge someone. Healthy hair is not important to everyone. I know that's earth-shattering, but it's just the way it is.

 

[Aireen]

Some people are doing the best that they can with the resources and knowledge that they have. It may not be that they are totally neglecting their hair, they are trying to do it themselves and trying to figure it out as they go along. Maybe all they have is $2 dollars to get a "cheap" perm. Some may think if I overlap maybe I can get rid of this as you say "crispy fried chicken hair." I along with a lot of other people did questionable things to our hair in high school and in college but as I learned I did better. When you know better you do better. If everyone was fully knowledgeable about hair, these beauticians wouldn't be making so much money with people totally dependent upon them. Also these message boards would cease to exist. I'm still a work in progress so some who are farther along in their journey may look at my pics and say, why is her hair.....

In a way asking about "fried chicken hair" is like a rich person asking a poor person why are you broke when all you have to do is....

When we learn we grow.

I agree with that totally, when you know better you do better. I understand your point but like I said in a previous post, the term was to just be descriptive not to mock. My tone may have been arrogant but the intention was the opposite. I'm simply asking out of my own ignorance not out of some sort of "apparent" superiority complex.

 

[Aireen]

IMO, it's impossible to know what they are doing wrong if you don't ask them. There could be an endless number of things that they are doing wrong... Some of those things a lot of us probably did before starting our hair journeys. If you are in a position to help these people and offer valuable advice to them, then I apologize. Otherwise, this just turns into a "we're better than them because.." or a "They are dumb because..." type of thread. Like another poster said, while we're judging them for their hair, they could be judging others for different reasons. There's always a reason to judge someone. Healthy hair is not important to everyone. I know that's earth-shattering, but it's just the way it is.

Those quotes do not and cannot cross my mind. I actually am in a situation some what similar to what you wrote, not exact but similar. Don't apologize, you have your point and that's cool, I agree with you to an extent but I'm just not the type of person to think I'm better because of anything. I know I have my issues.