**Singing with Goddessmaker** You don't know like
I know, what He's done for meeee. Can't nobody do me like Jesus, Can't nobody do me like the Lord!
Over the years I have seen God come through for me (when I asked for help and got out of his way
) in many ways. On my job, in my family, in my personal life, in my finances. It would be impossible to tell it all. Y'all would ban me from posting again
. I have made reference to what I affectionately
call my previous job/ supervisors from HADES :heated:. Today, I will go a little bit more in depth here.
I was hired as a manager at a specialty retail store in a very affluent area. I single handedly staffed the store and coordinated all vendors, etc from construction to grand opening. I say all of that to establish the fact that in doing so I became very knowledgable about all aspects of this business. I was not given the offer of store manager b/c I was a AA female, single parent (I was told later that the 'good ppl' of the area would not be able to deal with an AA running things). Upsetting just a bit but I was still optimistic concerning my career with the company. I wasn't planning to make retail a career I would retire from anyway. Besides, I still wanted to finish my college degree. Store mgr 'A' relocates via promotion. Enter second store mgr. Born and bred in New England. Has had very little contact with AAs. Suffers from short man syndrome. In an unhappy marriage where wife is higher income earner and frequently reminds him. Follow me? So, things are ok even though he is irritating as all get out
but I'm hanging in there cause the money is good. At this point b/c I'm not willing to relocate, I know I've about topped out with this company. Sometime during one of my days off, someone steals money from the should've been locked safe located inside the should've been locked office
. I return to work to hear that news. I'm like for real, that's messed up. BTW, there was a whopping $500
taken. Within minutes of starting my shift, I am brought into the office for questioning. Remember, this happened on my days off. Mgr proceeds to say he has known and even helped out of the goodness of his heart
many single black moms b/c he knows it is hard out there for
us. He even went with the classic, "I like blacks, some of my best friends are blacks". Then he says Prudent1 (which I was not at that time), why didn't you just ask for help? I was livid!
I told him I was sorry that he grew up in his YT bubble in MA far, far, from any real AAs. I told him not everyone AA was like the folks getting shoved in the back of the car on cops. My parents were married before I got here, are still married now. Have only been married to each other. I was like trick, I know who my daddy is. I told him one of my brothers made on a single bonus check what it took him all year to make. I have several relatives who are multi-millionaires. They fly on the company's jets for fun on tha' regular. So, if I wanted $5000 today, I could pick up the desk phone and have that + in a matter of minutes. What was $500 going to do for me and my kids? I made that and then some in my commission check. I called the corporate compliance line and filed a complaint. The company issued a half-butt apology. I knew I needed to make some changes soon before I went straight Earl on 'em. Earl as in DMX that is.
Y'all gon make me ack a fool, up in here, up in here... It was crazy for me to try to go back to school with all I had on my plate but I took the plunge. Many tired, frustrated nights followed. Debt and stress followed too. Mgr 'B' is later fired for sexual harrassment involving some other females at the store. Mgr 'A' is also fired for not handling that and other situations in the correct manner. Enter Mgr 'C'. Let's call her bad breath Bonnie.
I'm jus sayin, cause God loves the truth. From day one, I introduce myself thinking maybe things will be better since there are no more men in the position. Urrah nope. I genuinely offer to help her adjust in any way possible and as we all share things about ourselves, I make sure to mention I have returned to school and should be finished soon and plan to move on to my new career in IT. This chick from day one does everything she can to crush my spirit. It is obvious to everyone. Ppl, even complete strangers ask what did I do to her? 3 years go by. Everyday I do not know if today is the day I will be fired. She is putting together a paper trail against me. I am written up for any little infraction and some that don't even exist. The standards I am held to are very different than what the other members of mgmt are held to. Oh you best believe I started memorizing some word at that point in life. I drove up in the parking lot daily saying the 23rd Psalm. I wasn't living right but I knew who to call in my distress. I was eventually demoted and placed in a lower paying position. I kept thinking, I gotta take it b/c my kids won't have benefits. The federal government failed me years before when they refused to help me (newly divorced) on the basis that my vehicle was worth too much and that I was
supposed to be receiving child support. I'm glad now I never got help from them. I see how enslaving it has been for a lot of women I know. It made me look inward. It made me tougher.
. I digress. Things finally came to a head one night at work. By then I was an expert at ignoring mgr C and her attempts to lord her authority over me. I took great delight on being ascerbic as hades at all times. I made sure I frequently used complex language in all of our converstations to emphasize her obvious inferiority in this area in the presence of others. Yes, I have repented
.
So, we're at work and she steady yapping
about something or the other. She calls me into the back. She gets w/i 2 feet of me and proceeds to tell me how she can't stand me b/c everyone there comes to me for help. She stamps her foot and yells I'm the store mgr. They should come to me! At this point I'm certain my eyebrows have melted from her hot breath. I actually start to pray amiss asking God to just let her touch me 1st. Then I plead and ask him to just let her brush against me. So I can dust the stockroom wit dat tail. I didn't even care about the pending arrest.
I knew my child's father would come get me.
She thrust her keys in my face and said, "Here you take them I've had it". I said, "Oh no,I had keys but you took them claiming I was incompetent as a mgr. You keep your keys!" She threw them and left the building. A few years prior she wrote me up when I left to take sick DD to the pediatrician with her permission for abandoning the store
. I calmly called corporate again and told them we didn't have a mgr in the store. What were we going to do if the store caught on fire? If we were robbed. Basically the same garbage she said when she wrote me up earlier.
Ok, what is the point? I went through this for
years and was very unhappy with my work. I graduated from college but could not find work in my field despite sending out resumes for over two years.
But God...
Had a woman from the college contact me
Gave me favor and a position close to home in my field shortly after that incident
Gave me favor with my new CEO such that I got my first raise w/i 2 weeks of being there and another shortly thereafter
Gave me wisdom on how to be responsible for my kids and myself in the area of providing my own benefits thereby freeing me from unnecessary ties to jobs
Has shown me
why in a lot of ways I had to go through this stuff and gives me a glimpse of how he plans to use
me:who me: to help his ppl
Showed up as Jehovah Shalom (God my 'wholeness' nothing missing,nothing broken) when I lost my oldest sibling to an incurable disease suddenly (he kept it a secret) and when I watched a baby very near and dear to me die
He restored my very soul. He sustains my mind. He keeps my soul.
I have been depressed, hopeless, felt powerless, forgotten, but God Almighty has never forsaken me and promises that he will be there for me until I finish my race and draw my last breath.
Couldna' been nobody but JESUS and it ain't over yet. I'm still breathing.:hero:.
BTW the $500 was stolen by a teen from the affluent suburb to sustain his habit. The company never officially apologized.