Considering relaxing advice please

[moore.1506]

Hey ladies could use some advice / thoughts (please excuse the long msg)

Brief history:
Natural until 11 yrs old. Relaxed found the boards in 2007. Decided to stop relaxers in 2010 BC in 2010 with a 1 year transition. Been natural ever since.

Hair info:
Very high density, low prospority (sp), fine strands, 4b or 4c (no curl pattern just zig zag), bsl hair.

I appreciate being natural I did it for the same reason I joined the boards which is hair length and health. I have enjoyed my natural journey but since my hair has gotten to bsl length and ive got married and been focusing on my career I have not had time or patience to dedicate to my hair. I don't put it up at night I can't seem to moisturize except during wash days which has fallen off to every 3 weeks. My hair is tangled for these reasons. Even when I am consistent with my routine it takes 1 to 2 hrs deep conditioning, 1 to 2 hrs detangling, 1 hr washing, 1 to 2 hours styling. It is crazy!!!

I want to relax because I miss the easy detangling and because of my hair type I was never able to relax bone straight and before I went natural many people thought I was already natural. My mom is relaxed and still wears her signature fro. Saying all that to say my hair type will allow me to still wear semi natural styles. I feel really bad because alot of my friends look up to me because I was one of the first ones to go natural and because of my length. I love being a natural hair role model! But seriously I can't take this!

Pros
Detangling
Easy to straighten
Can still wear natural styles
time saver

Cons
no longer natural
feel like I may have got better growth and retention while natural

Like I said before my main goal is length. It took from 2007 to 2010 (relaxed) just to get to about bsl. But from 2010 to 2013 (natural) I went from like chin length to bsl length. At the same time if I can't find the time to dedicate to my hair is it going to grow? Idk any thoughts comments anything would be greatly appreciate.

Sorry its so long. I am long winded when I write.

 

[NGraceO]

I say do what works for you. As a five year natural gone texlaxed, I have found the best of both worlds. I got frustrated with my natural hair and was no longer feeling it, so I did my research and I texlaxed. No regrets. Friends and fam (the same ones always suggesting that I get a perm when natural) took it harder than me! I have no regrets bc I made the decision for me. Also, before I relaxed, I told myself if I want go natural again, I can. I realized I'm only bound to what I want to do to my hair. After all, it is my hair. Anywho, that's what helped me make my decision lol.


I'm long-winded, too. HTH

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[divachyk]

moore.1506, go with what you feel would be easiest. Being relaxed doesn't automatically give you a pass to skip steps. You must do all the same things as naturals. The upside is it may not take you as long to detangle, etc but upkeep is still required. You hair will grow regardless but you may not retain if you're not ensuring it's properly moisturized, sealed and conditioned on a routine basis. Good luck with your career & hair journey.

 

[coolsista-paris]

im considerîg relaxing in december after being natural 5 years.
im a 4b with fine hair. (harder at the crown) i have high density too. i remember back years when relaxed people braiding me were like " you have too much hair, its too thick" ..... what!?? i only realized i had fine hair when i went natural.

im researching all over the place for the maximum information and the type of relaxer for me. still looking for the style i want between pixie or bob cut. then i will let it grow from there.

i have the same cons and pros as you. exaclty the same!

lets follow up! we are both on the same direction with the same hair type

subscribing for more answers!

 

[Saludable84]

You said you mother still relaxes and wears her signature fro. Just because you relax doesn't mean you have to be super straight. I texlax which is purposely underprocessing my hair because I still want curl and waves, but I just want them looser. I still have texture, but the time it takes me to do my hair is less. It still requires maintenance, a little more than natural hair, but not as much as bone straight hair, as I've had both.

If you want to do it, go for it, just don't go straight as that might be a problem for you. Also remember that you will still have to care for the hair, but when your hair doesn't feel like such a chore, that makes doing you hair a want instead of a need

 

[almond eyes]

My hair is relaxed and women always ask me if I am natural. As tempting as it could be to lie to save face that my hair doesn't take relaxers I just say nope fully relaxed. I am one of those resistant hairs to relaxers and then when my hair dresser two years ago smoothed it for too long (as my hair was natural in 2010) parts became severely over processed. So don't smooth out for too long if you do it except for perhaps your side edges which you should do last. Anyhow, I eventually got all of those over processed ends gone now but my air dried hair looked texlaxed and when the roots begin growing out looks natural which I don't mind. I don't like that over processed bone straight hair anyhow.

If you want your hair to look bone straight do a tension blow dry and skip the flat iron (which works better for women with thicker strands).

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[moore.1506]

Ladies thank you so much for.the responses. It is easy to idolize a hair style (natural/relaxed) and forget each one has its own challenges and both require regular maintance.

im considerîg relaxing in december after being natural 5 years.
im a 4b with fine hair. (harder at the crown) i have high density too. i remember back years when relaxed people braiding me were like " you have too much hair, its too thick" ..... what!?? i only realized i had fine hair when i went natural.

im researching all over the place for the maximum information and the type of relaxer for me. still looking for the style i want between pixie or bob cut. then i will let it grow from there.

i have the same cons and pros as you. exaclty the same!

lets follow up! we are both on the same direction with the same hair type

subscribing for more answers!

Hey thanks for the feedback, id love to know what relaxers youre considering. My mom used to always tell me i had thin hairs just alot of them. Like you it wasnt until i went natural i fully understood what she meant. I am gonna take a couple of weeks to really give it some thought. I may just need a year or two in braids to get over this hump.

 

[moore.1506]

coolsista-paris have you decided for sure to relax or still deciding.

Also was curious as to what your regimine is?

Sorry for so many questions

 

[coolsista-paris]

Ladies thank you so much for.the responses. It is easy to idolize a hair style (natural/relaxed) and forget each one has its own challenges and both require regular maintance. Hey thanks for the feedback, id love to know what relaxers youre considering. My mom used to always tell me i had thin hairs just alot of them. Like you it wasnt until i went natural i fully understood what she meant. I am gonna take a couple of weeks to really give it some thought. I may just need a year or two in braids to get over this hump.

after reading many posts im more about! mizani, ors ,lineage or optimum.

i think i'll use lye. i dont Want bone straight when i start lettig it grow so i wont be leaving it on my hair so long ,it wont burn my scalp.
i hear no lye dries hair out (my hair can get dry sometimes so nope) .

ive thought of this for like a year .....im gonna do it!

 

[coolsista-paris]

coolsista-paris have you decided for sure to relax or still deciding. Also was curious as to what your regimine is? Sorry for so many questions

im relaxing for sure. i think as i feel ready and motivated for this new challenge i must go on and do it! i feel like it so much lol.

my reggie:
pre poo (and detangle with ): apoghee 2 min in 8 sections.
braid in 8 sections. wash with garnier fructis /or elasta qp moistrizing shampoo (ors creamy aloe 1 a month)
i then dry, add fantasia ic heat serum and air dry at 80% then tension blow dry from far. or if i air dry a put giovanni direct leave in.

hair is soft only by these 2 options.

then i wear a bun for work (which ended up breakig my hair because it was always at the same spot) oh well...... i'll know in te futur

 

[almond eyes]

Check out Tabbi or something like that on youtube for her relaxer and shampoo method. Her hair looks medium fine. But I would not keep the relaxer on for 40 minutes as she does. And remember if you are natural, you might want to do some smoothing or your hair might not take. Just do not smooth for too long.

Also ditto with you on the lye relaxer. I use linange.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[PureSilver]

im considerîg relaxing in december after being natural 5 years.
im a 4b with fine hair. (harder at the crown) i have high density too. i remember back years when relaxed people braiding me were like " you have too much hair, its too thick" ..... what!?? i only realized i had fine hair when i went natural.

im researching all over the place for the maximum information and the type of relaxer for me. still looking for the style i want between pixie or bob cut. then i will let it grow from there.

i have the same cons and pros as you. exaclty the same!

lets follow up! we are both on the same direction with the same hair type

subscribing for more answers!

We three have the same issues and hair type. I am relaxing in December too and i'm looking forward to it.

I came into this thread because i know my sentiments would be shared.

 

[coolsista-paris]

this is the cut style i want and may suit my face.

http://youtu.be/00NJ-N7Xv9k

 

[PureSilver]

I've been on the fence for a long time too about going back to relaxers but like you moore.1506 the longer my hair gets the harder and more reluctant i am to deal with it. I've not decided whether or not i will go bone straight or texlax but i have sometime to research and think before December when i take the plunge

 

[coolsista-paris]

Check out Tabbi or something like that on youtube for her relaxer and shampoo method. Her hair looks medium fine. But I would not keep the relaxer on for 40 minutes as she does. And remember if you are natural, you might want to do some smoothing or your hair might not take. Just do not smooth for too long. Also ditto with you on the lye relaxer. I use linange. Best, Almond Eyes

thanks for the advice. and yeah it linange! it doesnt stay in mind well lol.

tabbi has long hair! i watched her video relaxing and heard " 40min" but thought ( shé means 14 min) never would i thought it stayed 40 min ! gosh !!!!!!!!!!!!!! scary . well if ut works for her, good. not for me though..

 

[coolsista-paris]

We three have the same issues and hair type. I am relaxing in December too and i'm looking forward to it. I came into this thread because i know my sentiments would be shared.

hey! we got a third one in
december for me too! im gonna ask the hair dresser to relax everything for me to boom the long hair for 5 min ( take a lenght shot... for souvenir) , lol, thén cut!

 

[PureSilver]

I'm not sure which relaxer brand i want to use yet. but i'm sure i'll be using Lye. I have been researching Design Essentials, Mizani BB, Dudleys, Affirm and Just 4 Me.

 

[coolsista-paris]

I'm not sure which relaxer brand i want to use yet. but i'm sure i'll be using Lye. I have been researching Design Essentials, Mizani BB, Dudleys, Affirm and Just 4 Me.

i dont know yet either. and as im going to a salon i might not have the choice if relaxer,unless i choose the expensive salons here ... the ones that only use mizani products. its gonna cost me money for sure.

 

[Saludable84]

You ladies seen to have it together!

I use Linange lye Shea butter and I texlax. Linange is really good because it does not over process and just loosened the curl a bit for me. That's enough to comb it and still leave texture. I left it on for 14 minutes including smoothing but next time I probably won't smooth.

I use motions neutralizing shampoo and wash 2 times for 10 & 10 minutes then Isoplus NS for 3 minutes just as an indicator.

My normal regimen is just wash weekly with a gentle sulphate shampoo, tea rinse, DC and roller set. If I air dry, I usually cowash once then wash twice within one week. Cowashing causes more build up for me, so I wash more. I deep condition after ever wash and co wash. Since I mostly roller set and use CHI silk infusion as a leave in, I keep a light protein around for just in case and I use Millcreek Organics keratin conditioner once a month when I clarify.

I dilute ALL my shampoos the day I wash so I use less and the washing comes out much better and quicker. I did this yesterday with my clarifier and it was awesome and not too stripping. I also use a gentle shampoo. You can probably use the same one you use now.

I moisturize and seal 3-5 times a week and always protective style. My regimen also changes seasonally.

One tip I would recommend is if you plan to be texlaxed, you don't need that much protein. Just because you relax doesn't mean the same things won't work and that you need protein daily. Go easy on it because not using protein and using too much are many mistakes a relaxed girl makes. When I rollerset, I use protein weekly as my leave in has silk and I clarify every 4 weeks so I don't need to use protein in between unless the weather is too humid or I M&S too much and need a boost. When I air dry, I don't even touch protein! I won't say you don't need protein, but your not going to be dependent on it.

This post is too long lol. Let me know if you ladies need more info!

 

[Lovestyr]

moore.1506, go with what you feel would be easiest. Being relaxed doesn't automatically give you a pass to skip steps. You must do all the same things as naturals. The upside is it may not take you as long to detangle, etc but upkeep is still required. You hair will grow regardless but you may not retain if you're not ensuring it's properly moisturized, sealed and conditioned on a routine basis. Good luck with your career & hair journey.

Well said

 

[moore.1506]

this is the cut style i want and may suit my face.

http://youtu.be/00NJ-N7Xv9k

Wow that will be a drastic cut! But the style is fire!

 

[moore.1506]

I'm not sure which relaxer brand i want to use yet. but i'm sure i'll be using Lye. I have been researching Design Essentials, Mizani BB, Dudleys, Affirm and Just 4 Me.

Lol im not even on the deciding which relaxer faze (if I end up making up my mind to do it)

I read before from someone's book. (Cathy Howse?) how lye relaxers are actually better and retain your moisture so much better. But I am afraid of them. My mom told me several horror stories. But weird thing is most of it was about a burnt scalp and almost every time I used to get no lye relaxers I got chemical burns in the back of my head. So im not sure what to think. But I think im gonna take a few months to think about it like you and coolsista-paris

 

[coolsista-paris]

Wow that will be a drastic cut! But the style is fire!

i know :-/ but te style is hot !!!! let me play halle berry for a while then let it grow back. im sure îll do better that before with relaxed hair. i never heard of hhj when relaxed. now im ready!

im gettif bone straight for the pixie... then when i start letting it grow i will relax ànd leave some texture. i feel i can get to my goals. lol

im talking as if i feel like miss superwoman. exitement i guess ! lol

 

[coolsista-paris]

Lol im not even on the deciding which relaxer faze (if I end up making up my mind to do it) I read before from someone's book. (Cathy Howse?) how lye relaxers are actually better and retain your moisture so much better. But I am afraid of them. My mom told me several horror stories. But weird thing is most of it was about a burnt scalp and almost every time I used to get no lye relaxers I got chemical burns in the back of my head. So im not sure what to think. But I think im gonna take a few months to think about it like you and coolsista-paris

yes take your time. its important. i never has burnts when relaxed and i used lye relaxers... then tried no lye. ni difference seen as my hair was always dry and breaking off! i knew nothing about moisture ( which i thought was oil... and i flat ironned all the time and always relaxed bone straight overlapping it)!!! if only i knew.........

i subscribed to the relaxed hair thread...oh my im gonna need Weeks to read everything :-/ !

 

[Anailuj]

Hey ladies could use some advice / thoughts (please excuse the long msg)

Brief history:
Natural until 11 yrs old. Relaxed found the boards in 2007. Decided to stop relaxers in 2010 BC in 2010 with a 1 year transition. Been natural ever since.

Hair info:
Very high density, low prospority (sp), fine strands, 4b or 4c (no curl pattern just zig zag), bsl hair.

I appreciate being natural I did it for the same reason I joined the boards which is hair length and health. I have enjoyed my natural journey but since my hair has gotten to bsl length and ive got married and been focusing on my career I have not had time or patience to dedicate to my hair. I don't put it up at night I can't seem to moisturize except during wash days which has fallen off to every 3 weeks. My hair is tangled for these reasons. Even when I am consistent with my routine it takes 1 to 2 hrs deep conditioning, 1 to 2 hrs detangling, 1 hr washing, 1 to 2 hours styling. It is crazy!!!

I want to relax because I miss the easy detangling and because of my hair type I was never able to relax bone straight and before I went natural many people thought I was already natural. My mom is relaxed and still wears her signature fro. Saying all that to say my hair type will allow me to still wear semi natural styles. I feel really bad because alot of my friends look up to me because I was one of the first ones to go natural and because of my length. I love being a natural hair role model! But seriously I can't take this!

Pros
Detangling
Easy to straighten
Can still wear natural styles
time saver

Cons
no longer natural
feel like I may have got better growth and retention while natural

Like I said before my main goal is length. It took from 2007 to 2010 (relaxed) just to get to about bsl. But from 2010 to 2013 (natural) I went from like chin length to bsl length. At the same time if I can't find the time to dedicate to my hair is it going to grow? Idk any thoughts comments anything would be greatly appreciate.

Sorry its so long. I am long winded when I write.

I felt that way too.
Since summer I considered relaxing my SL/APL length hair due to most of the factors you've mentioned and others.

I did a long research and decided to opt for a texlaxed hair journey. So this Friday gone the deed was done and I am no longer natural.
I've no regrets whatsoever.
My mum says there isn't much difference (she was hoping I would fully relax my hair)
And she is actually right, the difference to me l is just that I can run my fingers through my loosened curls without effort and so far the time involved with my regimen has greatly reduced and made easier.

Mind you, that you gotta be completely certain of your decision before anything.
Do what is best for you and you are confident with.
Hth

 

[Anailuj]

You ladies seen to have it together!

I use Linange lye Shea butter and I texlax. Linange is really good because it does not over process and just loosened the curl a bit for me. That's enough to comb it and still leave texture. I left it on for 14 minutes including smoothing but next time I probably won't smooth.

I use motions neutralizing shampoo and wash 2 times for 10 & 10 minutes then Isoplus NS for 3 minutes just as an indicator.

My normal regimen is just wash weekly with a gentle sulphate shampoo, tea rinse, DC and roller set. If I air dry, I usually cowash once then wash twice within one week. Cowashing causes more build up for me, so I wash more. I deep condition after ever wash and co wash. Since I mostly roller set and use CHI silk infusion as a leave in, I keep a light protein around for just in case and I use Millcreek Organics keratin conditioner once a month when I clarify.

I dilute ALL my shampoos the day I wash so I use less and the washing comes out much better and quicker. I did this yesterday with my clarifier and it was awesome and not too stripping. I also use a gentle shampoo. You can probably use the same one you use now.

I moisturize and seal 3-5 times a week and always protective style. My regimen also changes seasonally.

One tip I would recommend is if you plan to be texlaxed, you don't need that much protein. Just because you relax doesn't mean the same things won't work and that you need protein daily. Go easy on it because not using protein and using too much are many mistakes a relaxed girl makes. When I rollerset, I use protein weekly as my leave in has silk and I clarify every 4 weeks so I don't need to use protein in between unless the weather is too humid or I M&S too much and need a boost. When I air dry, I don't even touch protein! I won't say you don't need protein, but your not going to be dependent on it.

This post is too long lol. Let me know if you ladies need more info!

I just texlaxed my virgin natural hair on the 1St of November.

Thanks for the protein tips I was going to go on a protein shopping frenzy.

What do you mean with diluting the shampoo?

 

[PureSilver]

i dont know yet either. and as im going to a salon i might not have the choice if relaxer,unless i choose the expensive salons here ... the ones that only use mizani products. its gonna cost me money for sure.

coolsista-paris, whichever one i decide i will be taking my own relaxer to the salon. That way i would have already made up my mind, done my research and comfortable with my choice. I already did a mini consultation with the hairdresser and she told me she uses, Hawaiian Silky, Dudley's, and 2 others which i can't remember right now. I wasn't comfortable with none of what she mentioned and told her i will take my own relaxer when i am ready.

 

[*CherryPie*]

I loved my natural hair because it looked so cute. But since I've texlaxed, I feel so free. No more needing a day's notice before going somewhere. No matter what style I did in the summertime, my hair always turned into an afro. No more going to sleep with wet hair. No matter how long it grew, it was still a short afro.

OP, all naturals that relaxed has felt like you do. Deep inside, you know what you want, and need, to do.

I used Silk Elements lye. I love the relaxer, but I also bought the neutralizing shampoo and I HATE it. The shampoo leaves the hair so dry. I thought it was the relaxer that was leaving my hair so dry until I used a different neutralizer.

I am really loving my hair now.

 

[Saludable84]

I just texlaxed my virgin natural hair on the 1St of November. Thanks for the protein tips I was going to go on a protein shopping frenzy. What do you mean with diluting the shampoo?

Yeah, that protein will make you an your hair enemies if you go too crazy. Get something light and medium, form a routine and use the light when needed, if you can and the medium in a schedule.

By diluting shampoo, I just pour about 1-2 ounces or a couple tbsp of shampoo inside an applicator bottle. Then I add water to the rest of the bottle and shake it a bit to get the shampoo to dissolve. Then I shampoo. That way, your shampoo last longer and it isn't as drying on the hair. You can also add honey or oils this way and better it's easier to apply directly to the scalp.

 

[coolsista-paris]

coolsista-paris, whichever one i decide i will be taking my own relaxer to the salon. That way i would have already made up my mind, done my research and comfortable with my choice. I already did a mini consultation with the hairdresser and she told me she uses, Hawaiian Silky, Dudley's, and 2 others which i can't remember right now. I wasn't comfortable with none of what she mentioned and told her i will take my own relaxer when i am ready.

im gonna call the salon and check it out. i know that the one doing mizani is expensive.... i will check with the less expensive salon to see what they have.

does the salon tax you less when you bring your own relaxer? or is it the same price?