COMMITTMENT

[Syrah]

This came out of another conversation I've had with my coworkers (all men) about relationships. Here's what they had to say about committment.

Basically - MEN view commitment as two people in EXCLUSIVE relationships. Marriage does not necessarily equal commitment (because there are people who while married do not act exclusively a la Shaquille O'Neal). AND it is possible to be committed without being married.

The problem is that women use the word "commitment" to be synonymous with marriage (ladies, this is true - if you want proof, go cruise around the "what men REALLY have to say about relationships" thread).

So maybe the commitment issue is not that men are afraid of commitment or women are to eager for commitment but more that when someone says "commitment" MEN and WOMEN are interpreting what that means as two totally different things.

What'cha think??

 

[Candy1978]

For me there are 2 levels of commitment. Level 1 is a serious, exlusive, monogm relationship. Level 2 is taking that Level 1 relationship to a deeper level which for me = marriage, for some that might be lving together, or moving in together, or having a child together, but for me it = marriage / and having a child together.

 

[winterinatl]

I have begun to feel that a true committment is one for life. Because if you can break up over any little thing, or he can walk away b/c he wants variety in his life, that is not a real committment. It is monogamy for right now; to me it is not the same.

I felt very committed in the last relationship of substance that I had. I thought he was committed to me, too, and that we would end up married. I learned the hard way that the committment isn't there (for me) unless he PROMISES he is committed. Meaning, I won't ever again assume or trust that a man is truly committed to me unless we are married or engaged.

But, I've gotten a bit jaded .